Mods seem to think differently but we still don't know what the rules are exactly. Are we allowed to talk about it or not?
Danger of bbfs
- Thread starter Bonclay20
- Start date
The 2 posts above yours are an entire journal in 2 parts lol. Well, idk if journal is the right word in English. Dear diary/cher journal.
The thread would have been erased a long time ago if it was not allowed. Its pretty clear to me:
- Posts alleging BBFS, substance abuse or health issues will not be permitted.
Not so long ago, it really said "discussion of BBFS" were not allowed. It seems to have changed but on TERB, it's stille the case "Posts alleging substance abuse or health issues will also not be permitted, as well as allegations or discussion of BBFS."
But, whatever.
But, whatever.
This! It also downright said "writing about it in any other context", as per mod posts we can still easily find. I'm not sure why someone went out of their way to modify that rule specifically but, as you say : whatever
Je ne suis pas en désaccord avec l’idée de permettre d’en discuter comme phénomène, sans le valoriser ni le promouvoir. L’interdiction de toute mention me rappelle mes années d’école secondaire où, on ne parlait pas de drogues, ni à l’école, ni à la maison. Et, de fait, je crois que ma génération a été celle qui a le plus banalisé l’usage de drogues!
Je suis d'accord avec l'idée de posts qui mentionnent les dangers de cette pratique dans la section health et peut-être un post épinglé dans le lounge, à limite, mais j'ai du mal à comprendre en quoi c'est pertinent quand les gens se mettent à nous parler des fois où quelqu'un leur a offert ou à nous raconter unprompted la vie privée des escortes qu'ils ont rencontrées, même si c'est sans les nommer. On sait tous que les gens se parlent en privé et que ce genre de post mène à des échanges de noms pour des raisons souvent néfastes (rechercher ce type de service ou au contraire véhiculer des rumeurs).
I guess that means you can't mention BBFs, substance abuse or health issues in reviews and I think that's a pretty good policy. I also agree that too much censorship isn't necessarily useful. Personally my issue with it is the context.. for instance here OP is talking about an experience with a specific SP, I've seen other posts like this one and even if it's not his intention I'm sure some people messaged him privately to find out who it is..
J'ai un problème avec ça aussi. C'est pas seulement à propos des BBFs il y a beaucoup de rumeurs et de "vague posting" et souvent il y a un manque de contexte.. en effet je ne trouve pas ça pertinent, parfois ça semble être une façon de contourner les règles à propos des reviews, ou juste de créer des discussions en messages privés à propos de certaines escortes qui ne sont pas nécessaires.
We also weren't advised that this rule changed, and why.. it would be nice to have an explanation. I'm sure there's a good reason for it
Je crois que parfois, une mise en contexte avec une façon de réagir ou, de s’en tirer, peut être utile pour certains qui, ne sont p-e pas aussi affirmés. En ce qui a trait aux autres, ceux qui sont à la chasse pour ces services, je crois qu’ils se connaissent déjà et qu’ils s’échangent des infos entre eux. On n’y peut pas grand-chose et, dans l’ensemble, je suis prêt à parier qu’ils sont plus nombreux à l’extérieur de merb.
Ça sonne comme une envie de vouloir contrôler les discussions privées! C’est aussi futile que contre productif, pourquoi gaspiller son énergie à essayer de savoir ce que les gens se racontent en privé? Peu importe le sujet, qu’on parle de toi, ou d’une autre, au final ça change quoi? Pourquoi ne pas se concentrer sur soi-même et ce qu’on peut réellement contrôler?
Ah, c'est certain. Ce n'est pas parce qu'on en parle pas que ça n'existe pas. Je suis d'accord avec toi.
C'est qu'en tant que Supporting Member, j'ai tendance à plus suivre les règles car perdre mon privilège d'annoncer ici me couperait d'une publicité importante. Quand les règles changent, je préfère être au courant. En 2014 quand j'ai commencé, aucune TDS ne pouvait répondre dans les threads de reviews, c'était interdit. Si on voulait répondre à un commentaire négatif ou à des allégations qu'on nous prêtait, il fallait demander la permission à un modérateur de poster un message pour parler de l'autre côté de la médaille et montrer les preuves. Maintenant, il est possible d'écrire de simples « merci » mais sans plus, toutefois je vois beaucoup de publicités déguisées, de messages détaillés et souvent des conversations dans les reviews concernant la situation qui se rendent plus loin que la simple « défense ». Il y a beaucoup plus de souplesse que ce que j'ai connu semble-t-il, je ne sais juste jamais quand on change les règles. Alors j'ai plus tendance à ne pas m'avancer sur les sujets sensibles, car comme je converse dans les trois forums qui ont des règles différentes, je ne devrais pas me faire taper sur les doigts.
Le contraire est aussi vrai, certains membres ont été banni à vie pour des faussetés propagées par certaines SPs ici. C’est désolant mais c’est comme ça, il n’y a rien que je puisse y faire et je ne vais pas m’empêcher de dormir en pensant que ça pourrait m’arriver!
Je pense aussi que c'est mauvais pour la communauté que des fausses rumeurs soient répandues à propos des clients.
Par contre, pour qu'un membre se fasse suspendre ou bannir de ce forum, il faut une preuve solide que cette personne a eu un mauvais comportement. Par exemple plusieurs membres se font passer pour d'autres utilisateurs afin de harceler des SP ou leur demander des services risqués par texto.. Les mods le savent.
Au final on ne peut pas savoir ce qui est vrai ou non à moins de se fier à ses propres expériences, ou d'avoir une preuve...
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I agree but I'm repeating what some men have told me. Once I said here that men could get used to it and I was accused of "gaslighting" or something like that lol I think it's true that a lot of men aren't used to it and don't like the sensation but that's no excuse for requesting BBFs or removing the condom
Just highlighting the wishy-washy nature of rule interpretation vis-a-vis the other boards on this particular subject. I also think a complete ban on the subject is more enforceable and consistent but again, I don't really care as long as it doesn't normalize this topic to the point it becomes an actual problem on here.
And i had a part 3 to add with two more pretty good bbfs stories. Now i’m bummed out that some people don’t think our stories belong here. *sniff*
My perspective
This topic has been a controversial one ever since the boards first appeared when the internet became mainstream in the 90’s. I remember reading about on former boards like Canbest, TBD & others. I even remember the topic appearing on some private members-only agency boards. We were given the impression that it was a rare thing & i’d be the first to join a quasi lynching mob against whichever member was credibly accused of either partaking or even inquiring if it was on the menu. One such person once met me in person & promised me that what was said about him was pure hearsay & swore to me that it never happened. That he hadn’t even inquired about it. That he doubted any girl from a particular agency had even claimed he did. I tried to remain impartial & asked him what his theory was & immediately he claimed that this particular agency owner had a vendetta against him & had slandered him! However i was skeptical. For no particular reason but i chose to side with the agency selfishly i was a regular & liked them. Later a rumor started by the same agency owner about having to fire a popular girl because the owner had discovered that she had a ‘permanent’ std (which started with the letter H) and that due to this he had no choice but to let her go. He had seen the evidence, etc.
When she got word of this she claimed it was total b.s. and let it known through some of her contacts. The agency stuck to their guns & their official story which had been spread through backchannels. Many people i knew believed every word he said, a few others didn’t because according to them he had proven to them to be a lying scumbag on more than one occasion. Fine, end of story. The girl moved on & worked elsewhere. Occasionally that old rumor would get mentioned. But over time people either forgot about it or simply didn’t care. She had changed her working name a couple of times so that was a good idea. Anyways i decided to meet her once. A buddy of mine liked her a lot & told me i should see her so i did. She was gorgeous! Anyways near the end of the date i brought up the subject & her reaction immediately gave me the impression that the entire story had been made up & she had been slandered. When i asked her why her former agency owner would start such a rumor she replied “Because i refused to sleep with him! Ever since i started working for that asshole he’d been trying to sleep with me & i told him even if he paid me double I DON’T FUCK MY BOSS!” So she said she decided to quit & go work for another agency which enraged him so after she left she learned from a few clients that he had started this rumor about her & that he was the one who fired her. “I FUCKING QUIT HE DIDNT FIRE ME!”, she stated firmly. “HES A FUCKING ASSHOLE AND THAT WASNT THE FIRST TIME HE SLANDERED OTHER PEOPLE INCLUDING POPULAR CLIENTS AND OTHER GIRLS!”
Okay back to topic. For many years i was under the impression that bbfs was a rare thing. A rare occurrence. Something extremely taboo in this business. However over the years i realized that i had met some guys who had done this with some girls in the biz. I was floored, to be honest. Why would guys be so careless? One guy i used to correspond with would reply with ‘Oh, it’s a case of the smaller head taking over & the next thing you know one thing led to another thing & it happened’. I wasn’t happy! I tore into him & told him he was make it risky for all of us! I also didn’t think much of the girls he saw who were ok with this. Some of them even had solid reputations on the boards! Another time someone i knew well confessed he & in his #1 girl had progressed to this. I got upset & tore into him but over time i realized it may not be so bad since at least they had known one another for a while so it wasn’t something random. One time it was a different guy i knew who told me a similar story so i asked him “What would happen if you ended up with an std & you passed it on to your wife?” He replied “She’d probably divorce me! Shit i never thought of that!” Then he’d say things like “But i’m not worried. She’s safe. And i’m the only person she does this with.” Then i’d lose my mind & shout back “How do you know? How are you so sure? How do you know she doesn’t have a boyfriend & does the same thing with him?”
Over time i’d hear from reliable sources that there were a few ladies i had seen myself who were ok with bbfs with some regular clients. I was shocked, really. One or two of them were high end companions with stellar reputations! I also heard that one girl i had seen a few months earlier would offer it occasionally if a client she liked would ask it. Or maybe she initiated it, who knows. It didn’t surprise me at all since after i saw her she contacted me a few times to see her & when i didn’t seem mich interested in repeating she then said thst she’d be open to see one another as friends or even as friends-with-benefits if i was interested. She told me her real name also. I simply was not interested & didn’t bother to reply since i figured meeting someone only once who acts like this & makes all these offers must’nt be too right between the ears! Lol.
The bottom line is that over time these stories repeated themselves & i started to realize that since i’ve met people from both sides (johns & ladies) who have partaken in bbfs within the business maybe it’s not as rare of a thing as i thought it was & i’ve been wondering if it was even worth having a thread since from past experience it just brings about a lot of drama & innuendo. Is it a rare thing happening in the business? I doubt it anymore. I remember years ago a former agency girl confiding in me about an agency owmer at the time bitching on the boards about clients asking his girls for bbfs & that he’d ban them from his agency, blah-blah-blah and she laughed & said he was the biggest offemder of them all since he had slept with half the girls who had worked at his agency & according to the other girls he would get upset if they told him to wear a condom! She added “He is just a fucking jealous hypocrite!” as she rolled her eyes. When i asked her of she had ever slept with him she replied “No! He asked once, i said no & he never asked again. H’s an asshole but at least he pays his girls that he sleeps with, which isn’t the case at some of the other agencies ran by guys.” She became a popular indy.
(Sorry for writing a chapter. I had lots to say! Lol)
This topic has been a controversial one ever since the boards first appeared when the internet became mainstream in the 90’s. I remember reading about on former boards like Canbest, TBD & others. I even remember the topic appearing on some private members-only agency boards. We were given the impression that it was a rare thing & i’d be the first to join a quasi lynching mob against whichever member was credibly accused of either partaking or even inquiring if it was on the menu. One such person once met me in person & promised me that what was said about him was pure hearsay & swore to me that it never happened. That he hadn’t even inquired about it. That he doubted any girl from a particular agency had even claimed he did. I tried to remain impartial & asked him what his theory was & immediately he claimed that this particular agency owner had a vendetta against him & had slandered him! However i was skeptical. For no particular reason but i chose to side with the agency selfishly i was a regular & liked them. Later a rumor started by the same agency owner about having to fire a popular girl because the owner had discovered that she had a ‘permanent’ std (which started with the letter H) and that due to this he had no choice but to let her go. He had seen the evidence, etc.
When she got word of this she claimed it was total b.s. and let it known through some of her contacts. The agency stuck to their guns & their official story which had been spread through backchannels. Many people i knew believed every word he said, a few others didn’t because according to them he had proven to them to be a lying scumbag on more than one occasion. Fine, end of story. The girl moved on & worked elsewhere. Occasionally that old rumor would get mentioned. But over time people either forgot about it or simply didn’t care. She had changed her working name a couple of times so that was a good idea. Anyways i decided to meet her once. A buddy of mine liked her a lot & told me i should see her so i did. She was gorgeous! Anyways near the end of the date i brought up the subject & her reaction immediately gave me the impression that the entire story had been made up & she had been slandered. When i asked her why her former agency owner would start such a rumor she replied “Because i refused to sleep with him! Ever since i started working for that asshole he’d been trying to sleep with me & i told him even if he paid me double I DON’T FUCK MY BOSS!” So she said she decided to quit & go work for another agency which enraged him so after she left she learned from a few clients that he had started this rumor about her & that he was the one who fired her. “I FUCKING QUIT HE DIDNT FIRE ME!”, she stated firmly. “HES A FUCKING ASSHOLE AND THAT WASNT THE FIRST TIME HE SLANDERED OTHER PEOPLE INCLUDING POPULAR CLIENTS AND OTHER GIRLS!”
Okay back to topic. For many years i was under the impression that bbfs was a rare thing. A rare occurrence. Something extremely taboo in this business. However over the years i realized that i had met some guys who had done this with some girls in the biz. I was floored, to be honest. Why would guys be so careless? One guy i used to correspond with would reply with ‘Oh, it’s a case of the smaller head taking over & the next thing you know one thing led to another thing & it happened’. I wasn’t happy! I tore into him & told him he was make it risky for all of us! I also didn’t think much of the girls he saw who were ok with this. Some of them even had solid reputations on the boards! Another time someone i knew well confessed he & in his #1 girl had progressed to this. I got upset & tore into him but over time i realized it may not be so bad since at least they had known one another for a while so it wasn’t something random. One time it was a different guy i knew who told me a similar story so i asked him “What would happen if you ended up with an std & you passed it on to your wife?” He replied “She’d probably divorce me! Shit i never thought of that!” Then he’d say things like “But i’m not worried. She’s safe. And i’m the only person she does this with.” Then i’d lose my mind & shout back “How do you know? How are you so sure? How do you know she doesn’t have a boyfriend & does the same thing with him?”
Over time i’d hear from reliable sources that there were a few ladies i had seen myself who were ok with bbfs with some regular clients. I was shocked, really. One or two of them were high end companions with stellar reputations! I also heard that one girl i had seen a few months earlier would offer it occasionally if a client she liked would ask it. Or maybe she initiated it, who knows. It didn’t surprise me at all since after i saw her she contacted me a few times to see her & when i didn’t seem mich interested in repeating she then said thst she’d be open to see one another as friends or even as friends-with-benefits if i was interested. She told me her real name also. I simply was not interested & didn’t bother to reply since i figured meeting someone only once who acts like this & makes all these offers must’nt be too right between the ears! Lol.
The bottom line is that over time these stories repeated themselves & i started to realize that since i’ve met people from both sides (johns & ladies) who have partaken in bbfs within the business maybe it’s not as rare of a thing as i thought it was & i’ve been wondering if it was even worth having a thread since from past experience it just brings about a lot of drama & innuendo. Is it a rare thing happening in the business? I doubt it anymore. I remember years ago a former agency girl confiding in me about an agency owmer at the time bitching on the boards about clients asking his girls for bbfs & that he’d ban them from his agency, blah-blah-blah and she laughed & said he was the biggest offemder of them all since he had slept with half the girls who had worked at his agency & according to the other girls he would get upset if they told him to wear a condom! She added “He is just a fucking jealous hypocrite!” as she rolled her eyes. When i asked her of she had ever slept with him she replied “No! He asked once, i said no & he never asked again. H’s an asshole but at least he pays his girls that he sleeps with, which isn’t the case at some of the other agencies ran by guys.” She became a popular indy.
(Sorry for writing a chapter. I had lots to say! Lol)
