Do you ever just have BJ only sessions?

[merbuser1221]

This can happen no matter what. It can happen even if the guy just books a girl for 30 mins once in a while and doesn't even talk to her.

I've had clients who booked me just for an hour to cum and leave once in a while, and they started getting delusional and saying they're in love with me and asking for free things and discounts. In my experience when guys develop ''feelings'' they don't give more, they ask for more. They think you are their friend and they start messaging you all the time. They ask to hang out off the clock. They become delusional because they are projecting an ideal onto you, and they aren't truly trying to exchange with you. Some clients want to feel like they're ''special'' and ''not like other clients'', but that doesn't mean they are actually interested in who you are. It's an ego thing.

I know what you're describing exists, but that doesn't mean people should shame clients who are looking for connection when it comes to booking escorts, because that doesn't mean they don't understand the nature of the relationship and can't appreciate this for what it is.

Personally by saying I prefer to connect with my clients and I prefer longer sessions, I'm not trying to trick anyone into falling in love with me. I just don't like feeling like I'm a human fleshlight.

There is no shaming

It's just logic, connecting with an escort serves little purpose because it's a transactional relationship

You go in with your expectactions and what you would like, be respectful, get what you want, and then leave

Anything deviating from that starts going down a slippery slope

I think the best way to explain it is for that moment, you're having a connection and a good time with another person/escort. If you delude yourself into thinking it's more than that, that's bad

 

[Enjoying life]

I also don't think this should be the point of a BJ only session unless the SP can really provide that. (which Julia can, because she is a super hero LOL and I do admit in a duo session it's way easier)

This has mostly been why I feel more wary of providing that service lately, because some people expect a blowjob the whole time or without hands or really unrealistic things like that. They don't read my restrictions and expect FF, etc. I initially offered that session because people were asking for it, combined with a massage, and I received a lot of gratitude.

I took the session away, then I brought it back later on because I had an operation that prevented me from having penetrative sex last winter and it kinda stuck even after I had healed. But I do find that although it's straightforward and my cheapest option, clients don't want to screen and I always get a TON of questions about it with answers that should be pretty obvious. It became more tedious at some point, I'd get people who hold themselves back from climaxing and who want a 40-45 min blowjob or longer. They would push boundaries and basically treat it like GFE without penetration or even PSE without penetration, etc. A lot of people just do not understand that I am not a PSE provider.

I did have some really good sessions. I had some clients who took the option to see if we would click before getting full GFE, and they were sweet. I had clients recently who fit that description that I really liked. I also had one or two clients on the kinkier side who I vibed with a lot more than I anticipated. I just don't like feeling like I'm a suck-machine.

Nice to mix in things with what makes a client interesting like hobbies, skills being different as it makes an sp really more comfortable and even to stay longer just be a gentleman

 

[merbuser1221]

So you think ideally men should book an escort, arrive at her incall without talking to her, fuck her and leave?

Nope, never said that.

The fact that it's transactional doesn't mean everything is fake.

No, if it's transactional that by definition means it's fake and not a genuine relationship

 

[Enjoying life]

Yeah, it's not everyone but in my experience a lot of men actually want that. Will they talk about it on the internet? Most of the time no. Because it doesn't correspond to the vision of masculinity that people generally try to project here. But I think it's sad, because it contributes to a certain stereotype about the clients of escorts when people say ''most guys just want to get off and leave''. And it's almost as if for a client to admit that they want a moment of tenderness with escorts he is immediately painted as a delusional simp who thinks the escort is his girlfriend and starts throwing all his money at her.. yet in my experience, that isn't the case.

We are there for compatibility company but it’s mainly about well for me getting off on my fetishes!

 

[911Daddy]

2 to 3 hours???!!! How to SPs not have sore necks?

More sore throats lol

 

[minutemenX]

There is no shaming

It's just logic, connecting with an escort serves little purpose because it's a transactional relationship

In its core, almost all human connections are transactional in nature even if they are not monetary. You also can’t classify any human interaction as a binary thing. You have different connections with your barber, with your doctor, with a female colleague or with a student, or with a professor if you are a student etc. You can also establish connection with an escort especially if you are a regular. Of course, it is not the same as would be with your girlfriend (which also has tremendous range in depth and quality) but nevertheless it is a human connection. It can be satisfactory, appreciated and valued by both sides if you don’t carry any improper expectations. Another mistake that men have is that they expect instantaneous sexual desire in response to their lust. First, it is not how woman’s sexuality and mind work, second, you are the one in a long row of many other clients. Why do you expect some special and natural sexual attention from her? Does your buck go further than the buck from any other John?

 

[merbuser1221]

In its core, almost all human connections are transactional in nature even if they are not monetary. You also can’t classify any human interaction as a binary thing. You have different connections with your barber, with your doctor, with a female colleague or with a student, or with a professor if you are a student etc. You can also establish connection with an escort especially if you are a regular. Of course, it is not the same as would be with your girlfriend (which also has tremendous range in depth and quality)

Aka not the same as a genuine relationship, which is the point I’m making

 

[minutemenX]

Aka not the same as a genuine relationship, which is the point I’m making

It is up to you. It can be genuine if you understand what it means when you are with an escort. The minimal quality you need to have it genuine is the empathy.

 

[Enjoying life]

Transactional doesn't mean everything is fake. But you are right that it's not a genuine romantic relationship, and shouldn't be seen as such. Personally I see more of a problem with sugar baby type relationships because in that case the lines could get blurred pretty fast, but paying an escort by the hour is pretty straightforward. If you are booking escorts with the hope that one of them will become your girlfriend, you should stop right now.... If you are just looking for some pleasant company, connection and intimacy, that's not the same.

Chemistry is about two people getting along nothing to do with anything else and enjoying scenarios like my SP goes, we always have fun as you have to feel it! Also, I feel her sincere vibes !

 

[minutemenX]

I don't agree that all relationships are transactional

Even if you are in love, you desire and are expecting similar feeling from your partner. In this sense it is transactional (exchange of the emotional affection)

 

[merbuser1221]

The minimal quality you need to have it genuine is the empathy.

That’s not true

Being genuine means not paying someone to hang out or have sex with them

Nobody is disagreeing with you here, it's not a genuine romantic relationship. I don't think anyone said it was.

I just think disconnecting the act of sex from compassion and other human feelings for another person is unhealthy. That doesn't mean ''develop romantic feelings for an escort''. That just means you are supposed to appreciate the escort you book and connect with her for the moment. Nobody wants to see clients who don't respect them but still want to fuck them. It's not because you are paying her that she isn't a real person.

I get you, and I feel you

But you’re making an emotional argument and that’s not really what I’m talking about

Chemistry is about two people getting along nothing to do with anything else and enjoying scenarios like my SP goes, we always have fun as you have to feel it! Also, I feel her sincere vibes !

Absolutely brotha

So long as you’re having a satisfying session, that’s all that counts

 

[merbuser1221]

I don't think I'm merely making an emotional argument. I'm just explaining the way I see things.

I don't think we're entirely disagreeing. I'm not going to say that booking an escort will satisfy all your emotional and psychological needs, because it won't. It won't even fulfill all your sexual needs.

But I think it's perfectly reasonable to book an escort if you're interested in companionship with no strings attached, in between relationships or while you're traveling alone, as long as you find the right person for it.

Anyways, yes, as long as you're having a satisfying session that's all that counts. The definition of a satisfying session depends from client to client.

That's not a good idea because it leads guys towards thinking they have a real relationship with a prostitute

People do it but it's not recommended

 

[merbuser1221]

Not recommended by whom? You? The National Association of Clients of Prostitutes? The Merb mods?

No, it doesn't lead guys towards thinking they have a ''real relationship'' with a prostitute. People are capable of intelligence and discernment. Clients are not passive people who are incapable of making proper choices on their own.

I have a lot of clients who book me once in a while, for a couple of hours. We exchange some wine and conversations, sometimes we share a meal, sometimes we listen to music or do activities together. None of them think they have a romantic relationship with me. We just have a good time together, and when the booking is over, they go home, or I go home.

Most men who are doing this don't operate that way

And not recommended generally, because it doesn't lead to good outcomes

 

[merbuser1221]

But who are you to say ''most men'' and ''it doesn't lead to good outcomes''. Your account was created in December. Have you done serious research on this? There hasn't been any negative outcomes for the clients I'm talking about, in the context of these bookings.

I'm active on various hobby forums, I've been mongering since 2015, I have 10+ years of experience in various countries throughout the world: mexico, canada, the DR, etc. I'm experienced in this industry

Not everyone who books escorts operates the same way or has the same feelings and thoughts as you, or as those clients who are delusional and bitter because they weren't able to get a relationship through booking escorts.

It doesn't matter if they have different "feelings and thoughts". I'm talking about facts and objective reality, if you want, you can fight reality as much as you want, but that won't change what reality is

I think you're just not seeing the nuance I'm trying to describe. There are clients who are looking for a nice experience of connection and sensuality and pleasant moments shared together, and often these clients have a life of their own, with friends, healthy interests & hobbies, a family, etc. Sometimes they are even married but they want to experience something different. A lot more of this type of client than you think book escorts, they just aren't constantly commenting and commiserating here on this board, with a few exceptions.

Yeah, they're looking for that because they want to make the escort their girlfriend

That's the whole point as to why they want that experience lol

And I'm saying that's a problem that started from square 1 because they went in wanting companionship and connection with an escort. If they want that, then they go to a regular girl in dating. Plus I don't think most escorts would even appreciate that, they probably want clients who see them as just service providers (I'm probably gonna get railed by a bunch of escorts on here for saying this but screw it, bring it on baby, let the railing begin)