Etiquette faux-pas or rightful attitude ?

[vwjf]

Had myself planned a duo with someone I had a lot of fun with and someone she works with regularly. 2 minutes before I get there I get a text that the other girl cannot make it. Sick apparently.

Now I made sure to ask 2 hours prior and as well the night before. Because I changed shifts from dayshift to night shift AND did a 2 hours drive (and 2 more back) for the duo. I have read good reviews about the SP that was there but the second is an on off thing often not replying and not reliable.

She also told me she would be late because of room changes or something.

I felt bad but I cancelled. I told her as such. I have my fair share of non paid sex so when I seek something it is out of the ordinary. And I was a little mad.

I told her as such and apologized but declined the one hour solo (at regular rate).

I was not mad but this was NOT what I wanted and am not in need enough to get something I do not want.

What would you guys have done ?

Any sp input ?

She was nice about it. I am assuming it is not her fault and there must be tons of clients that are unreliable as well.

Just disappointed is all !

 

[djlucky7]

You booked in advance and tried confirming. You did nothing wrong.

 

[envelopes]

2 minutes before I get there I get a text that the other girl cannot make it.

Her own fault. They thought you would just go with it. Glad you didn't.

 

[talkinghead]

You confirmed two hours before the date, you changed your work schedule, and you drove for four hours? I wouldn't apologize; I'd be grumpy. It's unprofessional. "Sick apparently"--and suddenly, it seems....

 

[MichelleMontreal]

My personal policy is to believe (or at least act like I believe) whatever excuse I'm given, because I'll never truly know. I could always assume malice, but it would make the job more difficult. No shows are part of the BS that happens to us SPs on a somewhat regular basis, it is infuriating no matter the reason.

You'll never know what happened behind the scenes, could be anything from a flat tire, to a health emergency, or a drug problem. The SP that showed up could be just as upset (or more).

I think it's more likely that something went sideways at the last minute than they conspired to not make money, and have you come down for nothing. But I could be wrong.

Shit happens, sometimes literally

 

[urquell]

While of course it sucks to have everything fall apart at the last minute, especially when you have to travel such a distance, it may be nobody's fault at all. You're not likely to know for sure, but the first SP may be just as much a victim of circumstance as you are, and the other girl may actually be sick, in which case it would have been a shitty session for everyone. Of course you have no obligation whatsoever to go along with the changing circumstances and the changed deal, which you didn't, so good for you. Look at it this way, either the girl actually was sick, or if she wasn't sick then she wasn't engaged in your session. Either way the best result for you was probably not going ahead with the session because it wouldn't have been what you were after and what you went to such great effort to set up. If you feel like it was sketchy then simply avoid future sessions with either or both girls. If you can't know for sure then probably best to give the benefit of the doubt, but still maybe book something/someone different next time and maybe closer to home if possible.

 

[vwjf]

This is not fair for you and very unprofessional last min. I feel sorry that you had to go through this.

There are worse things...Seriously. I did other things. I actually felt bad for the first SP as well who is truly nice. But I don't fake or lie, and won't pretend I was in the mood. That being said considering what's going on in the world, and the fact that I am fortunate enough to have many hobbies and enjoy them, I do not feel the need to be sorry ! Quite the opposite ! That being said it also does not mean I should accept everything!

 

[vwjf]

My personal policy is to believe (or at least act like I believe) whatever excuse I'm given, because I'll never truly know. I could always assume malice, but it would make the job more difficult. No shows are part of the BS that happens to us SPs on a somewhat regular basis, it is infuriating no matter the reason.

You'll never know what happened behind the scenes, could be anything from a flat tire, to a health emergency, or a drug problem. The SP that showed up could be just as upset (or more).

I think it's more likely that something went sideways at the last minute than they conspired to not make money, and have you come down for nothing. But I could be wrong.

Shit happens, sometimes literally

It does. No matter the reason, I am still a lucky person. I just felt bad for not attending the meeting but really I have come to the conclusions that solos are not satisfying for me. That's why I ask for specifics when I book. No surprises for anyone, everything consensual, respectful for all.

 

[vwjf]

While of course it sucks to have everything fall apart at the last minute, especially when you have to travel such a distance, it may be nobody's fault at all. You're not likely to know for sure, but the first SP may be just as much a victim of circumstance as you are, and the other girl may actually be sick, in which case it would have been a shitty session for everyone. Of course you have no obligation whatsoever to go along with the changing circumstances and the changed deal, which you didn't, so good for you. Look at it this way, either the girl actually was sick, or if she wasn't sick then she wasn't engaged in your session. Either way the best result for you was probably not going ahead with the session because it wouldn't have been what you were after and what you went to such great effort to set up. If you feel like it was sketchy then simply avoid future sessions with either or both girls. If you can't know for sure then probably best to give the benefit of the doubt, but still maybe book something/someone different next time and maybe closer to home if possible.

Closer to home would be unlikely. But I am giving them benefit of the doubt. The lifestyle can be rough. So I am not really complaining, and that is also why I was polite when I declined. But I still felt almost obligated. (my own guilt, not the SP's pressure. She was nice in her replies).

 

[vwjf]

This is my take on it, too. It's possible that the SP found out right before you confirmed that her colleague was sick. It's not her fault that the other person was sick, and I'm not really sure why she would come up with an excuse like this just to piss you off. I'm not a huge fan of cancellations, but in this case I understand why you did because you were expecting a duo and this isn't what was going to happen. However, I don't think you should be angry at the SP and blame her.

If you read my posts there is absolutely no blaming nor anger! I'm not sure how you got this ? I explicitly wrote I was more disappointed, and also made sure not to make a direct reference as to avoid bad publicity. I also never inferred that she would come up with an excuse like that to piss me off !

 

[hob12]

You booked something. Verified 2 hours in advance if everything was still good. You received confirmation. The SPs changed the plans and you refused the proposition.

You have absolutely nothing to feel bad for.

 

[Lunaseraphim]

If you read my posts there is absolutely no blaming nor anger! I'm not sure how you got this ? I explicitly wrote I was more disappointed, and also made sure not to make a direct reference as to avoid bad publicity. I also never inferred that she would come up with an excuse like that to piss me off !

You said "I was a little mad"... sorry if I misinterpreted

 

[talkinghead]

SPs often express frustration out here about last-minute cancellations (lots of grandmothers dying in January!), and I don't blame them. It's a waste of time and a loss of money. The same is true for clients, especially ones (like me) with limited opportunities to indulge in Montreal. It's all part of the business and it's not worth losing sleep over, but it's annoying.

In this case, I'm curious if both providers confirmed two hours before; or if the first SP confirmed for both; or if the OP was the one arranging the date with the two women and only heard from the first SP. If the OP was doing all the coordinating, then he probably should have thought better about going with the SP who is "not reliable." Caveat emptor. If the first SP confirmed only for herself, then the OP should have thought twice ... and in that case may indeed owe the first SP an apology. If the date was confirmed by or for both SPs, then the OP deserves an apology.

 

[Julia Sky]

What I do find weird is personally, I've had many duos and if one of us can't make it we usually let our duo partner know in advance. Not 2mins before appt time.

If I don't hear from my duo partner I would let the client know this when confirming for myself. I just find it strange because either her duo partner was inconsiderate to not tell her until the last minute (but in that case she should've at least informed him that she had not heard from xyz), or the first SP is inconsiderate to the client by omitting this info until last minute hoping he would go through with a solo booking.

If they both confirmed 2 hours before, it could be a lie or it could be food poisoning, but either way I'm sorry this happened to you OP!

 

[talkinghead]

What I do find weird is personally, I've had many duos and if one of us can't make it we usually let our duo partner know in advance. Not 2mins before appt time.

If I don't hear from my duo partner I would let the client know this when confirming for myself. I just find it strange because either her duo partner was inconsiderate to not tell her until the last minute (but in that case she should've at least informed him that she had not heard from xyz), or the first SP is inconsiderate to the client by omitting this info until last minute hoping he would go through with a solo booking.

If they both confirmed 2 hours before, it could be a lie or it could be food poisoning, but either way I'm sorry this happened to you OP!

Well said!