Feeling worse after seeing an escort?

[MannyV]

Hey guys,
I don't know but ever since I've been seeing SP's on back to back nights, I've been feeling really down. Like its just created a hole in me or something. I mean don't get me wrong, I have a great time when I'm with them, but after they're gone, I just feel down again. Today, I just walked down St. Catherine and seeing many couples passing by or friends chatting it up down the street has made me realize how alone I am in Montreal. I'm not like this and its puzzling me right now. Maybe its because I'm in another country and I don't know anyone. I'm feeling a little home sick right now and I thought I'd just hop on here and try to start up a conversation. Hopefully whatever advice/info you guys could give me could cheer me up. Right now, I feel like I'm at a real low point in my life.
I really hate feeling like this BTW.

 

[Best Lover]

Hey MannyV,

I was just in Montreal a few days ago traveling from Southern California. I have been visiting Montreal about every couple of months since 2004 and just love the Montreal French girls.

I have on occasion felt a little lonely but enjoy the time by myself and walking down St. Catherine and people watching. I have my list of girls I want to see and look forward to the evenings.

If you haven't already done so do the all day tour of Montreal and visit the Olympic Stadium, the Biodome, Mount Royal, Old Montreal, etc. Then take the one day tour to Quebec City.

When I get bored I like to go to nice French restaurants, shopping, and strip clubs. Montreal has so many things to do so it really is just a mind-set and you need to remind yourself you are there for fun.

 

[Fat Happy Buddha]

Don't dispair MannyV. Strong highs and lows are a part of travelling. Welcome to our fair city.

I'm sure many merbites would be willing to meet with a fellow merbite from a distant land. Why don't you put out an SOS (savour-our-suds) call? Maybe someone will be at Cleo's or one of the other clubs tonight and would be interested in sharing a beer with one of our merbite brothers from the US.

 

[MannyV]

Right now, I'm at a internet cafe on Gauchitierre (chinatown) and would be more than willing to speak to a fellow merbite over some drinks. I don't care at what bar, I just need to chat it up with someone. I'd prefer to chat with merbite/s, just so you guys would know we have something in common. Where is cleo's? I like this city but at the same time I feel very alone. I could really use some cheering up from some merb buddies.

 

[Wombat2]

Hey guys,
I don't know but ever since I've been seeing SP's on back to back nights, I've been feeling really down. Like its just created a hole in me or something. I mean don't get me wrong, I have a great time when I'm with them, but after they're gone, I just feel down again. Today, I just walked down St. Catherine and seeing many couples passing by or friends chatting it up down the street has made me realize how alone I am in Montreal. I'm not like this and its puzzling me right now. Maybe its because I'm in another country and I don't know anyone. I'm feeling a little home sick right now and I thought I'd just hop on here and try to start up a conversation. Hopefully whatever advice/info you guys could give me could cheer me up. Right now, I feel like I'm at a real low point in my life.
I really hate feeling like this BTW.

I hope you’re feeling more upbeat.

A large part of this is being way from home. However, another part of it is that most of us want a sense of emotional attachment - of someone who loves us and whom we love. SP's do many things - but this just isn't one of them. It is very true that for many people Friday and Saturday evening are the loneliest time of the week. Many of us have been there. It doesn't make it easier, but I sympathize.

 

[Love big tits]

This trip to Montreal has really been a roller coaster ride of emotion for you MannyV. From your first SP experience to your doubt about doing it again to repeating with an other SP, to this loneliness.
You have to remember why you are in this hobby, if you are looking for companionship, remember that you might achieve it with a few SP but it has to be with repeat visits to the same ones. At least it is so for me.

This is the part I am looking for now. Not long term as in girlfriend/wife but as in friend with which you have also some sexual experience. I have been lucky with a few and I have just lost one of my best: Nadia from xxxxtase but move on I say.

Now on the physical side of the hobby, I think you will feel lonely after every-time because you seem to be an emotional guy, and emotion can only be fulfilled in the long term relationship. It is an illusion, I know, but what a great illusion.

If you can separate the emotion from the physical than you are a true hobbyist, something I am not I guess.

 

[docprostate]

Strange ...

Right now, I'm at a internet cafe on Gauchitierre (chinatown) and would be more than willing to speak to a fellow merbite over some drinks. I don't care at what bar, I just need to chat it up with someone. I'd prefer to chat with merbite/s, just so you guys would know we have something in common. Where is cleo's? I like this city but at the same time I feel very alone. I could really use some cheering up from some merb buddies.

Strange writing coming from a person that just join this site a few days ago!

 

[MannyV]

Well, I'm back home right now with my family and friends and am really happy. Thanks for the kind words guys. I know its weird how the first few nights, I was really enjoying myself with those women but I also felt I needed more than just physical satisfaction. Before my trip to Montreal, I had never used an escort service, so I didn't know how I would feel afterwards. So far, I feel that this hobby just isn't for me. Its still a little early to be thinking that because I've only had 7 encounters while in Montreal, but its too much of a risk for me to be continuing this hobby here in the states. Hopefully, I'll be back in Montreal this summer.

 

[John_Cage]

Well, I'm back home right now with my family and friends and am really happy. Thanks for the kind words guys. I know its weird how the first few nights, I was really enjoying myself with those women but I also felt I needed more than just physical satisfaction. Before my trip to Montreal, I had never used an escort service, so I didn't know how I would feel afterwards. So far, I feel that this hobby just isn't for me. Its still a little early to be thinking that because I've only had 7 encounters while in Montreal, but its too much of a risk for me to be continuing this hobby here in the states. Hopefully, I'll be back in Montreal this summer.

This is very normal, Manny. In fact, I would go further and say it's very human of you.

I often feel worse after being with an escort (with a few notable exceptions); and I only see them when I already feel bad.

You felt like you needed for a woman's touch, but in reality it was the need for a woman's tenderness. You seeked intimacy of the mind but you received only closeness of the flesh. The realization that even sex can't ease your loneliness is the reason why you felt worse.

Also, this is Montreal. It's one of the most beautiful and romantic cities in the world. We have 19th century buildings with 21st century neon lights. We have the old port; which is often filled with young lovers and old couples. The culture diversity in our city makes it so calm and charming. The city wields a powerful weapon; a weapon capable of controlling our moods. I live in Montreal and sometimes I would stare out my bedroom window and be totally taken by its beauty.

 

[Working Stiff]

"Triste est omne animal post coitum, praeter mulierem gallumque."

 

[montreal_monk01]

MannyV,
Definitely a normal human feeling.
But when passing by Mtl, start with Electric Avenue bar/night club (on Crescent Street) or "Passeport" on St-Denis. You can't go wrong with those two places: people are extremely friendly and will accomodate you very fast.
From there, anything can happen
Nowadays, Mtl is like my second home-town, but to facilitate my accomodation to Mtl, I used to contact groups of people who had same interest as me...so when I was in Mtl, I started by going out with them and that was a lot of fun (I used to be friend with "Chess clubing" fans, "Atomic discoveries" and "baroque architecture" circles, stamp collectors, etc..).
Then I started having local love affairs through those different circles, and Mtl became even more and more interesting
Seriously, consider contacting groups of interest and that will facilitate things.
As for going out, Mtl's nightlife is great but as in any big city, you can feel lost very quickly when going out alone,
except for "Passport" + "Electric Avenue" where ppl will easily get friendly with you (and they're quality ppl in general)

 

[newman1]

I don't know if you heard something called postive psychology
this theory says that if you are feeling down and you won 1 million dollars than you wll feel happy for a period and then after that you will feel down no matter what. I think an sp doesn't solve the problem but you are already down....it may help but only momentarally
Anyhow I also used Sp service and the only things it helped me is that I felt i need to do it so i can stop fantazing about nice ladies i see in the street and it helped me a lot. Now when i see a good looking lady in the street and bar i don't feel the same as before because i made sex with some very good looking sps....and that helped in feeling more satiety....
anyhow there no better than finding love and make out with a lady you know she is going to be there for you when you feel bad....
hope this helepd

 

[daydreamer41]

Hey guys,
I don't know but ever since I've been seeing SP's on back to back nights, I've been feeling really down. Like its just created a hole in me or something. I mean don't get me wrong, I have a great time when I'm with them, but after they're gone, I just feel down again. Today, I just walked down St. Catherine and seeing many couples passing by or friends chatting it up down the street has made me realize how alone I am in Montreal. I'm not like this and its puzzling me right now. Maybe its because I'm in another country and I don't know anyone. I'm feeling a little home sick right now and I thought I'd just hop on here and try to start up a conversation. Hopefully whatever advice/info you guys could give me could cheer me up. Right now, I feel like I'm at a real low point in my life.
I really hate feeling like this BTW.

I posted a similar post a couple of trips ago (about a year ago). The hobby is definitely different than being with a girlfriend. I find that since I am usually in Montreal for 4 or 5 nights, I can only spend 4 or 5 hours per day with women within my budget and the last trip, I skipped the last night. In between, I was walking around. When I go to eat, I eat alone. When I have a girlfriend, there is companionship and I do not eat alone. I felt very empty on that trip.

The hobby is fantasy of being with very pretty young women, but only in a hotel room setting.

You can't have both the hobby and a girlfriend or wife, or at not easily. At least, I have never tried doing it. I have the personality type that would not be good at doing both simultaneously.

I have come to terms what the hobby is and what a relationship is.

 

[Turbodick]

You felt like you needed for a woman's touch, but in reality it was the need for a woman's tenderness. You seeked intimacy of the mind but you received only closeness of the flesh. The realization that even sex can't ease your loneliness is the reason why you felt worse.
QUOTE]


Very good observation. Well put.
If looking for something more than good sex (real connectivity) you're likely setting yourself up for disappointment once you hear the door close.

 

[Just-ass-weet]

Hello Manny,

This feeling is normal, normal for anyone. I have been a traveling escort for a few years, and I still have nights where I feel very much alone. I have been lucky in my travels, since I often go to the same places and try to retain a relationship with other girls who travel to that city (we often will book our trips at the same time so we can spend a night or two out for dinner or drinks)... If you will be visiting Montreal again, get back on here even when you are out of town, connect with the guys, head over to the chat room. Next time you are in town, you can have a night with the guys all set up, and truly be able to enjoy your encounters with more gusto and still walk away feeling that great glow!

Good luck to you
Anik

Maybe its because I'm in another country and I don't know anyone. I'm feeling a little home sick right now and I thought I'd just hop on here and try to start up a conversation. Hopefully whatever advice/info you guys could give me could cheer me up. Right now, I feel like I'm at a real low point in my life.
I really hate feeling like this BTW.

 

[n00b]

I have never met hobbyland friends, so to me, seeing escorts is no longer the big leap but rather meeting other hobbyists is the big leap. I know that meeting up with fellow hobbyists is probably the only way to make traveling to Montreal not an empty experience punctuated by sessions of hot sex, and I know that EB, Doc, et. al. meet up every trip, but it just seems strange to me.

For me, a trip to Montreal was always enjoyable. I had a stressful job and a bunch of really uptight and consevative co-workers, so just going to work was an exercise in constant self control and self censorship. Having the freedom to just bang some escorts, walk around, see the sights, eat at good restaurants, and read a couple of good books without having to put up with the politcal BS at work was a great relief for me, so I guess how you enjoy your vacation for one depends on what you're getting away from. I can see though if I were to make Montreal trips more frequent, then there has to be something more other than escorts.

 

[CocaCola]

Lonely Manny

I am new to this board and am very impressed that you posters have been helpful and thoughtful to Manny. I think on terb there might have been a critical response so I commend you all.

Ive hobbied a little bit in the past but never in Montreal, making my first trip in August for a few days. Read your thread about being lonely and I can relate, when your there in a different city alone the emotion can be compelling. With maturity and realizing what you are doing, seeing escorts, the reality is that you are taking a vacation and living a bit of a fantasy. It is meant to be fun and an amusement, so try not to take it so hard. I do understand it though and can relate. Ive thought of trying to meet up with terbites but ppl have not been to warm to that.

I think most hobbyist want to keep there anonymity plus I can only imagine a few of us must be wacked out.

Lets keep our perspective, most of modern North American society finds the hobby to be repulsive, antisocial, and dangerous behavior. I dont want to volanteer that I hobby to anyone.

Also Manny, did I read your profile right, your 21? If thats true dont make hobbying your be all end all. Do your best to nail some young normal girls, they get over being dumped, as I have found out 30 year old women get really pissed and can trash your car and steal your dog when you dump em.

Ultimatley you may decide a relationship may be more to your liking, but you have to become comfortable with what you are no matter what you do, once your in, your in.

You people have been very considerate and kind. Thanks.

 

[Big Daddy Cool]

MannyV:
I'm not going to give advice, because I have never met you personally and don't know what your situation is. Instead I find that it's better to ask and answer questions honestly. You need to ask yourself the following questions:

1- Are you feeling lonely simply because you were home sick or is it a sympton of a much bigger problem? (Eg: lonelyness that's always with you because you are not in a relationship right now).

2- Why are you traveling alone? (Is it out of choice or do you have nobody to go with? If the latter, is this the usual in most things you do?).

3- Are you seeing SPs for sexual fun or to fill a void of emotional needs like being with a girlfriend? (If you are seeing SPs because you are lonely due to singelhood, seeing SPs could make it worse as you might grow an attachment and become more depressed when you realize that this is not a real relationship).

4- How long have you felt this way and did being in a different city trigger these feelings or was it seeing happy couples loving each other? (If it was the couples than it's you who wants a real relationship and are unable to find that special lady. (In that case stay away from the hobby as it could be more damaging to you in the long run).

Hope this helps and the best of luck to you.

 

[MannyV]

To what Big Daddy Cool wrote:

1. Thinking back to it now, I guess it was a bit of both. More so that I was
home sick and that I didn't know anyone in Montreal. I thought making
friends out in public places would be easier but it wasn't.
2. My coworker wasn't able to go and I didn't want to bring a close friend or
relative because of what I would be doing.
3. My intentions were to go to Montreal for sexual fun but I ended up
just needing that genuine GF feeling, which did make it worse.
4. While I was in Montreal, it was my first time ever feeling like that. It sucked
and ruined the remaining days I had left in Montreal.

I don't think you expected me to reply but I think I need to so I can stop lying to myself about what I was feeling then. Thanks for the questions BDC. It's helped me realize that at my current age, this hobby may not be right for me. I was actually planning to go back to Montreal this August, but am having second thoughts now. I keep seeing new gorgeous girls on agency websites and its making it harder not to go to Montreal. Its like this hobby is pulling me back in LOL.

 

[EagerBeaver]

It's helped me realize that at my current age, this hobby may not be right for me.

MannyV,

I saw my first SP in New York City at age 23, but after that, did not regularly see SPs until I was over 35. My personal opinion is that it is not right for a guy in his early 20s, whether it's you, me at the same age, or Robertpal. Whatever you decide to do, good luck. You have plenty of your life ahead of you so enjoy it.