Fingering: The basics

[horus2023]

Well, for starters DATY feels best when:

- You aren’t licking the inner thigh or groin area thinking you’re flicking the bean ( & then later making a review on merb saying you made us cum with your incredible DATY/DATO skills )

- When you’re not munching on the labia majora or minora like it’s beef jerky

- When you are stubble free. Why do you want to stab us in the pp? (Beards or clean shaven feels best)

As LC mentioned, we are all different in regards to what we like. It varies. The list above just serves as universal pointers.

DATY is an art! I learn new things everytime and with all women are different! Listening and feeling her body a woman's pleasure is the most sound to ears!

 

[horus2023]

That’s a personal taste! I LOVE when fingers are added to the mix during DATY since I’m more of a G girl (even though DATY alone feels great - depending on peoples’ skills )
- 2 phalanges is nice
- butt stuff needs to be asked but not for me.
(I’ll allow certain clients to touch, rub, the surface of my litol a hole during doggy - but I gauge who has access because again some people don’t rub, they scrub as if they’re using an SOS sponge)

Evolution has given us a THUMB....It needs to be used!! It s magical...well that is what I have been told for 30 years

 

[Giselle Montreal]

Evolution has given us a THUMB....It needs to be used!! It s magical...

You are right when you say every woman is different!

 

[Jordd]

You mean a finger in the ass while you’re having sex? I absolutely hate it.

Either you’re going to stick your whole D in it or nothing. A finger isn’t comfortable or fun to me.

Yup, that’s exactly what I mean. Some like it, not all. I’d rather stick my dick in too - so we’re on the same page there!

 

[Jordd]

It's always amusing to notice how fine the line is between humour and ignorance

??

 

[Rebaynia]

Most men are stimulating my urethra more than my clitoris (and it hurts), so I allow it but I ask you to be gentle and you need to follow my directions, and accept that I reposition your hand from time to time!

You would think they could tell the difference between the vaginal hole, a micro hole (urethra), and what looks and feels to me like a mini penis head hidden under a hood.
I'm kind of surprised how many men have to be guided and shown what and where the clit is found, and somehow loose it. And how it is concidered hard to find... it's not.. clit top of the slit under the hood. Vaginal hole bottom of the slit... between the 2... your hitting the wrong spot.

And agreed so much on never back to front... guys seem stunned to hear there are more infections than sti's that we can get because they play with us wrong.

 

[curly]

@Rebaynia we have to learn these things, we dont have a pussy. And when you see men who don't have a lot of experience with women, which is often why we go to see SP, you'll get some clumsiness and some ignorance...

 

[Julia Sky]

@Rebaynia we have to learn these things, we dont have a pussy.

Secondary 3 (maybe 2? I cant remember the exact year), in science class, the teacher taught us this anatomy, maybe not the case for every school? But that's where I learned the anatomy of a vagina and vulva, and also a penis despite not having one myself.

 

[Rebaynia]

@Rebaynia we have to learn these things, we dont have a pussy. And when you see men who don't have a lot of experience with women, which is often why we go to see SP, you'll get some clumsiness and some ignorance...

Schools sex ed classes are failing boys then... we know what a penis looks like from a diagram. Diagrams of vaginas are just as detailed, they just aren't looking... (I eat my words mid message)

And annoyingly I went to google it, and get why a guy might get confused. There's more about the insides then the outsides. Even there it can look like the moment you penetrate your inside the uterus.
And most of what I find on the outside seems more about how you would break down a face for simetrical beauty... shit... guys really need to ask girls on the spot for an actual anatomy lesson.

You need to get a good view of the body part you claim to love playing with so much... you'll know what your doing the moment you get an up close and personal view.

 

[horus2023]

Schools sex ed classes are failing boys then... we know what a penis looks like from a diagram. Diagrams of vaginas are just as detailed, they just aren't looking... (I eat my words mid message)

And annoyingly I went to google it, and get why a guy might get confused. There's more about the insides then the outsides. Even there it can look like the moment you penetrate your inside the uterus.
And most of what I find on the outside seems more about how you would break down a face for simetrical beauty... shit... guys really need to ask girls on the spot for an actual anatomy lesson.

Communication is key to EVERYTHING! No shame in asking: How do you like? or Tell me what you like?
As they say, happy wife or whatever...happy life

 

[Giselle Montreal]

Schools sex ed classes are failing boys then... we know what a penis looks like from a diagram. Diagrams of vaginas are just as detailed, they just aren't looking... (I eat my words mid message
And annoyingly I went to google it, and get why a guy might get confused. There's more about the insides then the outsides.

Of course, if you type "vagina", you will see images of our internal organ. When we type "vulva", enough clear and informative images come up of the external organ. Using the proper words is always helpful.

 

[Like_It_Hot]

Of course, if you type "vagina", you will see images of our internal organ. When we type "vulva", enough clear and informative images come up of the external organ. Using the proper words is always helpful.

So true! I'm always surprised to read things as "I licked her vagina". Maybe this guy from KISS could do it. But I can't.

 

[Like_It_Hot]

You would think they could tell the difference between the vaginal hole, a micro hole (urethra), and what looks and feels to me like a mini penis head hidden under a hood.

Often this mini-penis head is well covered and can't be seen or even felt. Caressing the area and asking our companion if it is the right spot does miracles. There are also a surprising amount of women who do not know what is an orgasm even trying masturbating.

 

[Rebaynia]

Communication is key to EVERYTHING! No shame in asking: How do you like? or Tell me what you like?
As they say, happy wife or whatever...happy life

Half the answeres are answered by knowing what your playing with. And treating it like if it was an extension of, or similar to your own parts.
When you jerk off dry does it not hurt? Same for us. Add lube, or moisture and results are very different. First lesson dry rubbing is rarely a good thing.
One of the most common complaint I think I hear girls say, is he sticks his fingures in while it is still dry. It needs to be made excited to get wet. Your fingures aren't exciting, they hurt if she isn't wet yet.
Yes there is asking. But I think sometimes when from the very start he might be so far off base, we give up before even getting started. It feels like micromanaging.. not to mention it is a mood killer when a guy in his 40's-50's, realizes he has never known what he was doing when playing with a woman's body before. Many go in blindly groping and proding with no meaning or reason, doing what he feels and just expects her to enjoy what is being done. And as an SP, we want to protect your ego more than worry about our pleasure. Lord knows how many times I just gave up trying to communicate, and just looked forward to getting him his pleasure so he could stop trying to please me. (In relationships as well not just as an SP.)
Admittedly it is still more difficult than that. I still refer to myself as a pandoras box, it can be very tricky some days and easy others. But unfortunately it is easier to point out when we don't like something, and hard to explain how to do something right so we do enjoy too.

 

[Rebaynia]

Of course, if you type "vagina", you will see images of our internal organ. When we type "vulva", enough clear and informative images come up of the external organ. Using the proper words is always helpful.

I searched for 'diagram of female and male genitals.' I didn't think of searching direct body part names as I was looking for an educational piece. Silly me. But your point is well made, unfortunately maybe 2% of men might think to google vulva.

 

[Rebaynia]

Often this mini-penis head is well covered and can't be seen or even felt. Caressing the area and asking our companion if it is the right spot does miracles. There are also a surprising amount of women who do not know what is an orgasm even trying masturbating.

I will take your word for it as I am pretty sure you've played with more women then me. But the expierience I have come to understand, when it is being pleased and is excited, like a penis, it gets hard too, some grow a little, and becomes less of a guessing game. Often the problem is rubbing it dry hurts the sencitive area. And once hurt it is harder for it to feel good after.
I can't say I've seen or played with a lady that the clit was so small it couldn't be found, but I can't say it doesn't exhist. The pool I have played with is still pretty small. Every woman i have seen it was right there and easy to find. Pull back the hood like pulling back the forskin on an uncircumcised penis and I promis you, you will see it and wonder how you ever missed it before.

As for many woman not ever experiencing an orgasm. It is a personal goal, enough men know how to play with a woman properly so this injustice can be rectified lol

 

[Like_It_Hot]

I will take your word for it as I am pretty sure you've played with more women then me.

As for many woman not ever experiencing an orgasm. It is a personal goal, enough men know how to play with a woman properly so this injustice can be rectified lol

You are right on almost all you wrote! I'm also a lot older than you! And yes I experienced several women in 6 months to 15 years relationship. I don't take in consideration one night stands as you never know what is real, what is faked and what is in between. But take my words, females orgasm is not as automatic as in males. When I come and ejaculate, I can't fake it. lol! The woman being wet is a good sign, but will she get one or mutual orgasm? I had some women mainly clitoral, others much more appreciating being penetrated and being quite in body fusion with me. Making love is as a buffet, not every ones wanting the same things. The important is every ones finding what they want or need at this moment. Otherwise it just a routine, so sad. Communication is the key! Enjoy!

As for fingering, the woman should be quite confident in her partner to enjoy it sometime. Some guys just don't mind if they fingered anal before going back to vagina, really bad idea... Hygienic concerns are always important in those areas. Also short and clean nails. As much pleasure can be felt in those area, pain and discomfort could also occur. Being gentle is the way to start, if she wants it more intense she will tell you. In doubt, guys should ask.

 

[Like_It_Hot]

When you jerk off dry does it not hurt? Same for us. Add lube, or moisture and results are very different.

Men do not stay dry while jerking. They do it because they need it and the preputial glands are responsible for lubrication. For vaginal penetration, it's different, most of the time a little saliva does the job for the first centimeters then the woman's secretions take over. With some women a little KY may be necessary because with age lubrication may decrease. One thing is certain when the woman is sexually aroused by her partner, it helps a lot.