French Language help

[ValWangSmiles]

Moderators, I searched for "French Language" and "French language help" before posting as I couldn't find a thread that could help me. Hence, this new thread.

I'm trying to learn and come up with sexy, fun things to say in bed with a mostly French speaking girl. I've downloaded, borrowed from the library, and briefly perused a number of French language self instruction books and textbooks, but of course they're not focused on "intimate" words. Online dictionaries don't help much when trying to convey figurative meaning in intimate encounters, or even with just being flirty or fun.

Even a list of basic commands would probably help especially if finding oneself in bed and being explicit about what to do or want. (Top? Bottom? Put your hand here... where does it hurt, or sore, or knotted in your back, ...?)

So to start things out, is this correct what I'm saying?

Tu es moite, tu as très moite, pour moi!

And I'm trying to anticipate what she might say:
Tu me fais mouiller.

How to say the other way, I make you wet?

And while we're on the subject,

What does tabarnak mean? I see that a lot on québécois memes on FB, and urban dictionary doesn't do well to describe it (your version of the f word?) et

"Otis" ?

And how severe is saying putain? Not to be used even in bed?

 

[jalimon]

Top?

"Haut" to be used as "Plus Haut" maybe? As in Higher

Bottom?
"Bas", as in "Plus bas", as in go lower

Put your hand here...
"Place tes mains ici"

where does it hurt, or sore, or knotted in your back, ...?

Are you sure you want to go there? Perhaps you would be better with:
"Je ne veux pas te faire mal" which means I do not want to hurt you.

Tu es moite, tu as très moite, pour moi!

Do not say "moite", say "mouiller". But honestly I would avoid and perhaps go with "j'ai vraiment envies de toi"

And I'm trying to anticipate what she might say:
Tu me fais mouiller.

If she says that you are a lucky one. It does not happen often But it's a correct sentence.

How to say the other way, I make you wet?

Je veux te faire mouiller

What does tabarnak mean?

Avoid saying that!

"Otis" ?

Same, avoid that at all cost with a girl

And how severe is saying putain? Not to be used even in bed?

To be used if you have seen the girl 10 times including a few dinner and a all nighter. Then if she takes too much time in the bathroom just say to her "Allez pétasse tu te magne ou quoi!"

Cheers,

 

[tiga]

The sware words may be funny coming from you and with your accent but it can be a turn off, so I also would avise against.
Putain means prostitute, so I would also advise against, in this situation it may be perceived as an insult. (It is also more of a French from France sware word).
Tabarnak and osti are words that come from the religious Tabernacle (the furniture where you find the Hostie) and Hostie (the bread wich is the body of Christ).
The French.Canadian would use these words and.others to sware and free themself from the stranglehold of religion.
To use these words well is an artform in it's self, here is an example:
Osti de calvaire de chriss de tabârnak de câliss que tu me fais bander!
This is a more advanced version but sware words are fun to string along, but don't run before you can walk.

In my experience, women like complements, you could say these simple words that could go far:
Tu es belle, tu es si belle, t'as de beaux yeux, tu m'excites and so on...

Good luck...

 

[SylvainP]

In my experience, women like complementsn...

In mine too.

 

[jalimon]

In my experience, women like complements, you could say these simple words that could go far:
Tu es belle, tu es si belle, t'as de beaux yeux, tu m'excites and so on...

As in my post above you see I too suggest avoid all bad words because these words are hard to master as you said.

But nice sweet compliment these girls here them all the time. It has no effect.

I like to go a little further than that. That's why the "Je veux te faire mouiller" of the original OP will have great effect if well said and at the right time.

Let's say you open the door, let the girl in, do not say a word for 5 second while looking at her top to bottom and then you say "Tabarnak!!" quite loud and with a smile, it will have a great effect on the girl I can assure you. I did the opposite once in vancouver. The girl let me in her condo and I stared at her for 10 seconds then I said loud, slowly and with a break between each words: "Fuck.... Me...." with a big splatered smile on my face. The girl laught, jumped on me and said "I will!". I knew then I was in for a good time

Cheers,

 

[ValWangSmiles]

Thanks guys, all this is good and very clarifying, especially with the swear words.

@jalimom "bottom", ah colloquially or slang wise, bottom would immediately imply that the person is on the bottom position, so is there a better French word for that, to indicate position (better to imagine missionary, where girl is usually at the "bottom" (I know English is imprecise) or cowgirl, when the guy is at "the bottom"

Merci tout pour m'aider (hope I said that right)

Since we're in the season, and I wanted to say this to one of the special ladies, working, so what would you suggest to say, with sincerity, I wish you a merry Christmas and a happy new year? I looked up wordreference.com for some phrases and someone claimed this is what they say in Quebec:

Joyeux Noël et Bonne Année
Meilleurs Vœux pour l'année à venir
Meilleurs souhaits en ce temps des fêtes
Santé, bonheur et prospérité pour l'année à venir

Je te souhaite de bonnes fêtes de fin d'année

Venir in this case, it'd mean what would come in the future?

Any suggestions on simple, but charming Christmas and New Years wishes, to say and warm the hearts of the ladies?

 

[VictoriaJolie]

I will give you private courses!Xox Merry Christmas hun!

 

[jalimon]

Ho ok got it now! So bottom would be "en dessous", like in "tu peux aller en dessous", the opposite (cowgirl) would be "au dessus" but to be honest we all use the word cowgirl in that case

I would go for:
Je te souhaite un Joyeux Noël et une Bonne Année!

If you really like the girl and in english you would say "you are so amazing you drive me nuts!" you can say "tu es incroyable tu me rend fou!"

Cheers,

 

[ValWangSmiles]

@VictoriaJolie haha I may just take you up on that offer in the new year! As long as more vodka shots for you and friends are also involved.

@jalimon oh cool, I am definitely using "Je te souhaite un Joyeux Noël ..." for the other, I was originally going to say,

"Tu es une personne magnifique, ... "
You are an amazing person

But I didn't know the differences in meanings between

magnifique et incroyable.

P.S. You know 1 time, with some one from Euphoria, je veux se parle, "tu es ma la fille de mes rêves." took me 5 tries to pronounce rêves so that someone could guess correctly what I was trying to say.

 

[tiga]

You've got quite a few there for the hollidays, they are all spot on perfect, just need to memorise and practice pronounciation.
You know just the effort, just the fact you want to comunicate in the girl's mother toungue is allready a big turn on for a smart girl.

The best way to learn a language is with a good teacher, Victoria Jolie seems willing...

 

[SilverDust]

Correction to OP. "Otis" should be Osti !

This may help in what not to say...https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Quebec_French_profanity

Happy holidays.

 

[martymtl]

What does tabarnak mean?

Avoid saying that!


not true ... girls like when a English men try to say it with a accent .... she say its cute

and its a word know internationally to come from quebec ... its a slang word


here are somes

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Quebec_French_profanity

 

[martymtl]

haha i just post the same thing ... we do a google search on this lol

Correction to OP. "Otis" should be Osti !

This may help...https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Quebec_French_profanity

Happy holidays.

 

[tiga]

That's a personal choice, for instance I don't apreciate French from France trying to sware in quebecois joual, they just don't do it well and it gets a bit folklorique or cliché.
I would rather hear their own slang or argot, verland or whatever is happening there and now and learn something from them.

But why not just ask the girl to tell you what she likes to hear.

 

[Halloween Mike]

Tabarnak is more or less the Quebec equivalent of "fuck" (including fucking, fucker etc) for an american. You can use it at all flavors

TABARNAK !! (if you hit your small toes on something or hit your thumb with a hammer)
Ahhhhhhh TABARNAK !!! ( when you loose your call of duty game and you end up being there last kill on the kill cam or anything sad, depressing)
Mon Tabarnak !! (You motherfucker)
Tabarnak de fatiguant (You annoying fucker)
J'vais t'en crisser une tabarnak (Im gonna fuck you up / violent context)
Sa ces un tabarnak de gros penis !! (Thats one big fucking dick)

I think it covers it all. Thats pretty much the word to learn when coming to Quebec, use it wisely and people will like you very fast. But make sure to pronouce it right.Not Tabernacle or taBERnak but TA-BAR-NAK. The tricky thing for english speaking peoples is the BAR part, cause its in your accent. You must pronounce it not like a bar (place to drink beer) but imagine wonderbar in german, same type of bar.

As for using french dirty talk...just dont lol. It sounds awfull. When i was younger before brazzer existed i used to rent porn movies at the video store and those one that where translated in french i had to mute them, i would loose my boner and just laugh hard instead.

 

[tiga]

You see, you're getting an education, at the end of the day; "tu vas sacrer comme un vieux tabarnak"

 

[ValWangSmiles]

Merci,
this has all been useful!

I'll avoid tabarnak but yeah, @halloweenmike explained tabarnak, sometimes I look at Québécois humorist or memes pages on FB and it's all tabarnak this tabarnak that tabarnak mon ex boyfriend etc tabarnak

@silverDust @martymtl I've looked at that Wikipedia page and urbandictionary before, but it doesn't help with context or how people actually use it. Yep it's Osti; I saw someone Snapchat annotate Osti on a girl before but didn't know if it was being somewhat mean or playful. And definitely not that Wikipedia definition with the religious meanings!

Before letting this go, to call a girl an amazing person, with sincerity, should I use

Magnifique ou incroyable

?

You know, I'm filling out these Xmas grams right now...

 

[tiga]

To help you pronounce it for English people the A would be the problem, so think of the word back (as in Back to the Future) rather than bar (like the pub) as one said before.
So all the As sound like back or rack or sac.

 

[tiga]

I would go with magnifique (magnificent).
If she looks very good: tu es magnifique!

 

[Halloween Mike]

Merci,
this has all been useful!

I'll avoid tabarnak but yeah, @halloweenmike explained tabarnak, sometimes I look at Québécois humorist or memes pages on FB and it's all tabarnak this tabarnak that tabarnak mon ex boyfriend etc tabarnak

.

With an SP yeah its preferable, the only context i would see it be nicely use is if she is sucking you and you say Taaa....baaaarr....naaaak with a big smile on your face, this would definately mean holy shit or something like that in english as in "its very good" but it wouldn't feel natural for a non quebecois. But outside your meeting, feel free to use it. Unlike americans we are not ashame of our curses. Always make me laugh when i hear fuck being censored on TV even to a point of putting a mosaic over the mouth (wtf...lol) here its all good to use.

Other popular words : Sacrament, ostie, criss, calisse, calver

And yeah despite the religious conotation of the past, it does not mean much of that anymoe for anybody.