Getting soft with SP

[men-on-pause]

Ok, so here's the issue and would like to know if I'm alone... im perfectly fine with erection with wife or gf (on the side ) can have sex for hours... I get good enough sex in my regular life but I'm curious and like to "try" SP'S and did quite a few times ....
But for one reason or the other im never sure if I will get or maintain erections...so let's say if I had call 30 girls maybe with 5 of them I didn't get hard. ..pretty embarrassing. .. and waste of money...
am I alone ?
I'll answer any questions you may have for me

 

[tiannas]

Do you not get hard at all? Or is it just when it's time for the condom to go on? Because a lot of guys tend to lose at least some of their erection when putting on condoms. It's pretty common.
Also how old are you?

You should never be embarrassed when things aren't working. It happens a lot, especially as men get older.

 

[rollingstone]

This would happen to me (even when I was in my 20s) if I masturbated regularly in the days up to the 'event' so to speak. I think it was a sensitivity issue because even when I tried ED medication it did nothing for me. Then I just laid off spanking the monkey and the issue went away.

 

[Lily from Montreal]

Like Tiannas said condom plays a big role,make sure you have the right size and experiment with brands to find the one that is best for you...

 

[wolfie7]

Hahahaha, it's performance anxiety for me. What a cruel irony - the more I really want to, the more likely I'll be a no-show... As others have echoed, it's all in the head. We have all our own unique fucked-up heads...

Oh, and mending ribs and painkillers can apparently make you no fun, too. Learn something new every trip. :crazy:

 

[Garito]

Quit watching porn....and porn is the cause. Google "yourbrainonporn" and you'll see the science behind it. It truly is an addiction. I've been "clean" for a month now, but was trying on and off to stop for almost 4, while relapsing maybe 3 times in that timeframe......You'll notice you'll get more boners throughout the day, and you'll be much more excited when you see a beautiful lady. Soon you'll regain your hard erections.

Great advice. With Cialis I DO get hard but I like to take that a few hours before an encounter, not just one hour before. Sometimes the next day after Cialis I'm even harder. I'm sure beating off affects it, but it's hard (ha,ha) not to sometimes. Go 4 or so days without, don't drink any alcohol that day and not much the night before, keep very hydrated. If you still loose it during a session, perhaps keep her mouth off your damn cock so you don't loose so much pre-cum. Perhaps do some DATY for a while and then you'll be good 'n hard, then go in for the kill straight-away. Finally, if all else fails, I've beat off with her sucking me off at the very very end (another pun) and that too can be really satisfying. You never said if you could masterbate to get hard in such situations?

 

[Sol Tee Nutz]

With Cialis I DO get hard but I like to take that a few hours before an encounter, not just one hour before. Sometimes the next day after Cialis I'm even harder.

I take Cialis and found with me it worked far better than Viagra. I also take it 6 hrs before and if I see 2 within 24 hrs it still works. Alcohol & fatty foods does not effect Cialis as much as it does Viagra.

 

[Sol Tee Nutz]

Maybe if you try repeating with one of the 5 girls who gave you an erection,

Yes, with the lady I mostly see no Cialis is needed, with a new person it is almost a must. Age of SP makes a difference with me also, before when I booked I always asked for the oldest SP and most were no issue, the young ones effect me a little, maybe telling me something.

 

[lastvisit]

I will agree with STN about the effects of Cialis : even half a pill works for 24 hours for me. Viagra, not so much, mostly a one time deal. I will also agree with the age of the lady : lately it has been less appealing for an SP to be less than 25. That's an age thing for me (almost 59) and also with my personal history with my own kids (27, 24 and 20). It just gets a little too close to their ages. Plus, its a free ticket to hell. Oh well I'll have lots of friends there. Thanks for the time gents.

 

[men-on-pause]

I will agree with STN about the effects of Cialis : even half a pill works for 24 hours for me. Viagra, not so much, mostly a one time deal. I will also agree with the age of the lady : lately it has been less appealing for an SP to be less than 25. That's an age thing for me (almost 59) and also with my personal history with my own kids (27, 24 and 20). It just gets a little too close to their ages. Plus, its a free ticket to hell. Oh well I'll have lots of friends there. Thanks for the time gents.

Last year i visited Columbia , and thaught will have lots of sex since i had a bottle of cialis with me. Againg SP showed up and still no "show".
Took 2nd (20mg) next day. Same result.
I think ill quit (the hobby) and stick with the wife because it NEVER fails.

 

[malboro_man]

Last year i visited Columbia , and thaught will have lots of sex since i had a bottle of cialis with me. Againg SP showed up and still no "show".
Took 2nd (20mg) next day. Same result.
I think ill quit (the hobby) and stick with the wife because it NEVER fails.

20 mg is too beaucoup! The more you take the less effective it is. Don't take it everyday! 5 mg should be enough. Losing weight helps if you are overweight.

 

[Abathur]

were you anxious? it's all in your head.

 

[Abathur]

Yes, with the lady I mostly see no Cialis is needed, with a new person it is almost a must. Age of SP makes a difference with me also, before when I booked I always asked for the oldest SP and most were no issue, the young ones effect me a little, maybe telling me something.

the age gap? because in your head, you might worry the younger ones would judge you (or not be happy) by seeing them?

 

[Daylenkrier]

Nothing worse than planning the date, booking the time, paying the rate then “throwing rope” at a gorgeous escort. I’ve been there.

A lot depends on age and fitness but more likely it’s in the head. “Thinking” about sex can often ruin it. Guilt, fear and anxiety can be motherfuckers.

Cialis is great if you want spontaneity and helps with issues if you’re taking antidepressants and Viagra is great if you are “planning” your play time, it’s like cocaine for your dick just be careful with Viagra if you’re not in shape and or have high blood pressure.

 

[sibar]

Last year i visited Columbia , and thaught will have lots of sex since i had a bottle of cialis with me. Againg SP showed up and still no "show".
Took 2nd (20mg) next day. Same result.
I think ill quit (the hobby) and stick with the wife because it NEVER fails.

might be anxiety...no matter for which reason...performance, depression, or fear to catch something...its all in your head.

I have been mongering for years, always with a wife (diff wifes and gf), and I always performed well...lately I have a fearv o catch a std and I am paranoing so much that it takes me time to get ibto it.. Me too I am thinking to stick with the gf..on top she gave such good sex

 

[BastardChief]

I was hesitant to post but here goes. I think there's a lot going on with this problem. For me it's a little of a lot of factors.

1- Time constraint. I usually book for 1 hour and that's the time in which I have to perform. I try to visualize stuff I want to do but it pretty much goes out the window once I meet the SP. I try to limit the chit chat at the start and get to groping and kissing. I can't really sog 2x in an hour anymore so after the sog, if I sog at all, I tend to talk and make the SP laugh.

2- Physical constraint. Getting older just sucks physically. I'm 43 and don't need pills, thankfully, but I know it's not been the same in the last 2 -3 years from before. Bad news, it's not going to get better either.

3- Condom. I've come to realize that for me, having penetration is so hard due to the condom. The smell, the slimy texture, it's just damn gross I can't stand them. So I stick to blowjobs, foreplay, dinner at Y, everything but penetration. The last SP it happened with was Jennifer at Euphoria, back in 2016. I was professionally in love with her, it just felt natural and wasn't forced at all.

4- Freedom. There's also a loss of freedom when dealing with the condom. I'd just like to have the freedom of, to be blunt, move from one hole to another freely. Obviously the influence comes from porn and from plain freedom itself. For me, I guess my brain computes that into the following formula, reality + porn = disappointed in life and loss of hardness. This thought pulsates in me throughout a session and even before, when I do try to visualize stuff. I'm going to say Hi, kiss her cheeks, offer her something to drink, chit chat, DFK, get a blowjob and not fuck because I have to put a hat on.

Those were my 4 cents. There might be more to it but I'm no psychologist.

 

[bodick7]

I was hesitant to post but here goes. I think there's a lot going on with this problem. For me it's a little of a lot of factors.

1- Time constraint. I usually book for 1 hour and that's the time in which I have to perform. I try to visualize stuff I want to do but it pretty much goes out the window once I meet the SP. I try to limit the chit chat at the start and get to groping and kissing. I can't really sog 2x in an hour anymore so after the sog, if I sog at all, I tend to talk and make the SP laugh.

2- Physical constraint. Getting older just sucks physically. I'm 43 and don't need pills, thankfully, but I know it's not been the same in the last 2 -3 years from before. Bad news, it's not going to get better either.

3- Condom. I've come to realize that for me, having penetration is so hard due to the condom. The smell, the slimy texture, it's just damn gross I can't stand them. So I stick to blowjobs, foreplay, dinner at Y, everything but penetration. The last SP it happened with was Jennifer at Euphoria, back in 2016. I was professionally in love with her, it just felt natural and wasn't forced at all.

4- Freedom. There's also a loss of freedom when dealing with the condom. I'd just like to have the freedom of, to be blunt, move from one hole to another freely. Obviously the influence comes from porn and from plain freedom itself. For me, I guess my brain computes that into the following formula, reality + porn = disappointed in life and loss of hardness. This thought pulsates in me throughout a session and even before, when I do try to visualize stuff. I'm going to say Hi, kiss her cheeks, offer her something to drink, chit chat, DFK, get a blowjob and not fuck because I have to put a hat on.

Those were my 4 cents. There might be more to it but I'm no psychologist.

1- Play, don’t perform. As I got older, I now appreciate longer action with a single sog. I got some « no happy ending » too but I learned not taking them as failures over the time. We’re not machines.
2- At 44, I realized that if I had to continue enjoying sex I did quit smoking because I didn’t wan’t to end with a hart attack… Now I’m 56, I do CrossFit training since more than 2 years. Guess what? I’m still hard, I can have long and intense sessions and second sog reappeared recently. All this without any pills.
3- Find the good condom for you. I did and I bring them. It makes a lot of difference.
4- Even with a bare finger, you don’t switch holes because it can cause infections to the girl… That being said, I sometimes get soft after putting a condom. That’s where a very good SP comes into action to get it back hard with her mouth. I found one so good at it that I have to tell her to stop before coming. If it’s not the case, don’t be shy to ask her to help you do so. I understand porn can be a factor when reality is catching..

As someone advised me on this board, I now use pre workout preparation to help my most important muscle get fully vascular. I also get in the mood by hourly masturbate 2-3 times without coming before the session. This helps me having explosive endings instead of wet firecrackers.

 

[Cap'tain Fantastic]

@bodick7

#1 is the most important for me, I'm 61 and understood a long time ago that sex is all about play fun between 2 human beings. I, personnaly make a point to show up at my rendez-vous with a clear head, no scenarios and no expectations. Performing is not part of my vocabulary, I rarely watch any porn, I have enough crazy wild memories from my own real sexlife to feed my brain, no need to watch someone elses fantasies.
For sure I do, sometimes, for all kind of reasons, have to deal with my non-cooperative dick but, I am usually able, with the right girl, to get my mind to switch back on track. As soon as I can stop thinking about it, everything falls back into places. Sex is between th ears.

 

[IamNY]

When I'm sport fucking in Montreal I learned long ago that Viagra is the best insurance policy to cure any performance anxiety issues.

 

[bodick7]

@bodick7

#1 is the most important for me, I'm 61 and understood a long time ago that sex is all about play fun between 2 human beings. I, personnaly make a point to show up at my rendez-vous with a clear head, no scenarios and no expectations. Performing is not part of my vocabulary, I rarely watch any porn, I have enough crazy wild memories from my own real sexlife to feed my brain, no need to watch someone elses fantasies.
For sure I do, sometimes, for all kind of reasons, have to deal with my non-cooperative dick but, I am usually able, with the right girl, to get my mind to switch back on track. As soon as I can stop thinking about it, everything falls back into places. Sex is between th ears.

I agree but with a girl with good mouth skills, it’s amazing how it get back hard faster than my mind. Sometimes I think it’s over until emergency rescue reanimates. Good job girl! Ha!Ha!