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Perils of this hobby

urquell

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Feb 24, 2013
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None of this is a "one-size-fits-all" description of how life and the mongering life works. It's a snapshot of how it works here. Were you to be in other locales and cultures free time would absolutely be in play, social dates would be in play, and vacations would be in play. I have taken many women on vacations and have never paid a dime other than the cost of the vacation itself and any expenses along the way. People in other markets are more aggressively seeking husbands or the opportunity to travel which are not easily available to them and which we take for granted here. They are more inclined to spend time with people just because they like them. I think LC's approach is the way that everyone should understand and expect the system to work here as a baseline, because here it is purely and simply a job. It's also important to recognize that not all mongering cultures are created equal, that not all national cultures are created equal either, and that a measure of people working here come from other locales and have different expectations, that exceptions happen, even here, and that anywhere else any Canadian/US perceptions you have of how the mongering world works should be thrown out the window. In other words, anything can happen, anywhere, and nothing should be discounted, but some things are more likely to happen in some places than in others, and if you're dealing with people from here you should generally expect as a rule to simply pay as you go and not overthink it.
 
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Fradi

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None of this is a "one-size-fits-all" description of how life and the mongering life works. It's a snapshot of how it works here. Were you to be in other locales and cultures free time would absolutely be in play, social dates would be in play, and vacations would be in play. I have taken many women on vacations and have never paid a dime other than the cost of the vacation itself and any expenses along the way. People in other markets are more aggressively seeking husbands or the opportunity to travel which are not easily available to them and which we take for granted here. They are more inclined to spend time with people just because they like them. I think LC's approach is the way that everyone should understand and expect the system to work here as a baseline, because here it is purely and simply a job. It's also important to recognize that not all mongering cultures are created equal, that not all national cultures are created equal either, and that a measure of people working here come from other locales and have different expectations, that exceptions happen, even here, and that anywhere else any Canadian/US perceptions you have of how the mongering world works should be thrown out the window. In other words, anything can happen, anywhere, and nothing should be discounted, but some things are more likely to happen in some places than in others, and if you're dealing with people from here you should generally expect as a rule to simply pay as you go and not overthink it.
Not everyone is like LC18 even here lol.
 

urquell

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Not everyone is like LC18 even here lol.
No, that's true, but she's right, even if she comes across a bit harsh. It's her job, and she is entitled to be paid for it. Everybody else expects to be paid when they're on working time so why should the ladies be any different? That's also the way that most of the ladies here working are, even if they're less blunt and more polished about it than LC is. That's also the way that every guy should approach the relationship here as a default, in order to manage expectations. That's how the culture is set up and men should expect to pay for the time they spend with their companion of choice, including, er..., ahem..., *snort*..., social time. If something happens outside of what is expected then it does, and hooray for the happy monger and companion, but honestly given everything that everybody knows here no guy should think that he's entitled to anything more unless it's offered. If you don't like the local system then go somewhere else or step outside of it entirely. It's not like there's a shortage of options where conditions are different. Otherwise cut the ladies some slack. It's not like there's truly any illusions about what's what for most guys here, and some gentle guidance should take care of the rest. Assholes will always be assholes and there's nothing we can do about them, but hey, everybody has to deal with assholes in their job. At least most of the assholes are clean in this profession. lol.
 

Fradi

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No, that's true, but she's right, even if she comes across a bit harsh. It's her job, and she is entitled to be paid for it. Everybody else expects to be paid when they're on working time so why should the ladies be any different? That's also the way that most of the ladies here working are, even if they're less blunt and more polished about it than LC is. That's also the way that every guy should approach the relationship here as a default, in order to manage expectations. That's how the culture is set up and men should expect to pay for the time they spend with their companion of choice, including, er..., ahem..., *snort*..., social time. If something happens outside of what is expected then it does, and hooray for the happy monger and companion, but honestly given everything that everybody knows here no guy should think that he's entitled to anything more unless it's offered. If you don't like the local system then go somewhere else or step outside of it entirely. It's not like there's a shortage of options where conditions are different. Otherwise cut the ladies some slack. It's not like there's truly any illusions about what's what for most guys here, and some gentle guidance should take care of the rest. Assholes will always be assholes and there's nothing we can do about them, but hey, everybody has to deal with assholes in their job. At least most of the assholes are clean in this profession. lol.
Like you said everybody is entitled to set their own set of rules and you either accept that or move on.
You make your own luck in life and you search for what you want until you find it.
Life is all about risk and reward, those that aren’t willing to gamble and accept that they most probably will lose shouldn’t go to a casino.
 
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Lunaseraphim

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You know, after these endless discussions about ''free extra time'', I thought very carefully about the times that I was very generous with my time and energy outside of bookings and asked myself if it actually kept them as regular clients and improved our relationship, and I realized that it didn't.. Maybe for some of them at first it was a plus, but it did not actually help in the long run, most of the time. In fact what happened is that lines and limits became blurred.. Which isn't a good thing.

It's not a question of being ''harsh'' or stingy, it's about protecting yourself and your energy. First of all there isn't always the possibility of going on free dates or spending extra time with clients. I'm really busy and most SP I know also are, many are in school or have another job or are hustling really hard to survive and change their lives. We don't have the time to do this, no matter how much we like the guy. Second of all, you guys make it sound like we are forcing guys to bring us on fancy dates, but we are not. The guys who book those dates know exactly what they're looking for and they aren't deluded into thinking they're going to enter a relationship with us. These are not the same guys who are expecting or hoping for free extra time.

However, if I offered a free date or to spend a bunch of free time with a client, it does have the potential to make him confused about the boundaries of our relationship. I've met clients who spent a lot of ''free extra time'' with certain SP's in the past.. and they told me they believed they were in love because time was given for free and they were going on dates and the guy was only paying for intimacy. In reality probably a lot of these SP's were only doing this to keep them as clients.. It's a tactic. You can tell when a client wants you to give more than you can. They usually tell you even the first time you see them, they ask you out on free dates or they talk about other girls who were generous with them.. There's a lack of boundaries here in my opinion. Why is it harsh to want the boundaries of the relationship respected?

Really often when I get out of the client provider dynamic, I find that other things end up making their way into that relationship. Of course I don't mind spending a bit more time with a regular client who books for long periods of time frequently, it's just that I know there's a point where this could get dangerous. Honestly I think it's for the better if clients pay by the hour, otherwise an arrangement is something that could benefit both parties a lot more. And the arrangement has to be fair, and between 2 people who get along very well.
 
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EastWind

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“DESPISE THE FREE LUNCH JUDGMENT What is offered for free is dangerous-it usually involves either a trick or a hidden obligation. What has worth is worth paying for. By paying your own way you stay clear of gratitude, guilt, and deceit. It is also often wise to pay the full price—there is no cutting corners with excellence. Be lavish with your money and keep it circulating, for generosity is a sign and a magnet for power.”​



48 Laws of Power - Law #40

Money keeps the hobby and the "relationship" between dude and SP, HONEST and HONORABLE. There must be a price tag even if there is a discount.
 
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Fradi

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48 Laws of Power - Law #40

Money keeps the hobby and the "relationship" between dude and SP, HONEST and HONORABLE. There must be a price tag even if there is a discount.
Are you serious?
More than half are cheating on their wife, girlfriend and fucking away money that should be going to their family or children but yeah honest and honerable lol.
 

EastWind

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May 24, 2024
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Are you serious?
More than half are cheating on their wife, girlfriend and fucking away money that should be going to their family or children but yeah honest and honerable lol.
Uhhh hello...

I guess your reading comprehension is not very well versed.

I am referring to approaching this HOBBY dealing with SPs and prevent any negative aftermath(s) and misunderstanding(s). Having money involved even at a discount insures that the HOBBY again the HOBBY honest and honorable. We are not talking about real life relationships here which you are bringing up.

You are comparing apples to oranges.
 
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