I wrote this as a review a while back, which never got posted, and there doesn't seem to be an appropriate category so just sharing if anyone needs a laugh 
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I nearly fumble the box of chocolates into the shoe bin and an almost-memory skirts across my mind. ‘You don’t have any allergies, do you?’ Of course she does. ‘non, merci pour les chocolats, c’est gentil’ she speaks tenderly.
‘look, I’m really just so happy to finally meet you, I happened to be in the area today and I’m not really sure I’m in the mood for anything so we can just talk if that’s ok’ I pant, breathless.
I tried to explain how for more than two years I lusted incredulously after her body and mind; wondering if such a nymphomaniac could exist, but fearing it was somehow a ruse.
How I fantasized about stalking her at her local Metro supermarket and trying to pick her up with a cheesy allusion to the thief from Road to Eldorado.
How I would work out, get in shape, rid myself of my inhibitions, learn to dance, so I could one day show myself off to her, trading places in a sense, to fulfil her deepest fantasy. Anything she wanted. What did she want?
She pulls me in close and whispers ‘Je veux ta queue’, as a tattoo of Mother Mary smiles at me from one arm and the other toys with my hair.
‘puis.. je veux voyager, partout!’
I reach down, and retrieve a rolled up map marked with an x.
‘Promise you will meet me here at the end of the world?’ I ask.
‘Ok’ she agrees, ‘And from now on I will also shop at Metro.’
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I nearly fumble the box of chocolates into the shoe bin and an almost-memory skirts across my mind. ‘You don’t have any allergies, do you?’ Of course she does. ‘non, merci pour les chocolats, c’est gentil’ she speaks tenderly.
‘look, I’m really just so happy to finally meet you, I happened to be in the area today and I’m not really sure I’m in the mood for anything so we can just talk if that’s ok’ I pant, breathless.
I tried to explain how for more than two years I lusted incredulously after her body and mind; wondering if such a nymphomaniac could exist, but fearing it was somehow a ruse.
How I fantasized about stalking her at her local Metro supermarket and trying to pick her up with a cheesy allusion to the thief from Road to Eldorado.
How I would work out, get in shape, rid myself of my inhibitions, learn to dance, so I could one day show myself off to her, trading places in a sense, to fulfil her deepest fantasy. Anything she wanted. What did she want?
She pulls me in close and whispers ‘Je veux ta queue’, as a tattoo of Mother Mary smiles at me from one arm and the other toys with my hair.
‘puis.. je veux voyager, partout!’
I reach down, and retrieve a rolled up map marked with an x.
‘Promise you will meet me here at the end of the world?’ I ask.
‘Ok’ she agrees, ‘And from now on I will also shop at Metro.’
