I've dated few single moms. As mentionned previously the kid wasn't at all a problem except once (but again the kid was not really the problem, his lack of education was the problem, we cannot blaim children).
Reasons why I won't date single mom (never say never but...she must be f****smart, cute and hot (rich is a bonus!)):
- The influence of the kid's father is a complicating factor: I've few exemples in mind. I had to deal with probably one of the worst father in Quebec...the grand father's companion (Gay) actually abused the kid when he was 3.. Because of the money, nobody including the kid's father himself didn't step-up and say something. Everybody act like nothing happen. In my situation, there's nothing you can say! You're not the father...so shut-up. They almost threatned me because I've mentionned once the possibility to call the DPJ.
- Education: most of the time there's nothing you can say about kids education...they're just not yours! If things are going all right...it's normal, if things are going bad, just shut the fuck up these are not yours and enjoy the situation in silence.
- Competition between the parents: Separated parents are always trying to be prefered by their kids and they re willing to do crazy things to be that one. Exemple: buying stuffs and presents without no limit...the "Yes" pattern.
- Gap between educations: Kids are just kids, you cannot ask them to adjust themselves like mature adults. Parenting is not easy! I lived crazy situations. Kid's going to his father's place and it takes 3 days to get him back on his mother education style. Same thing with nutrition...
- Money: most of the time single mothers doesn't really have supports from the daddies. Consequence is simple: single mother= broke. There are exceptions sure, but for the most part, a man's wallet will come in to play here over the long run. Men tend to have reservations about spending money on another man's child. It's a biogical thing.
- Time: If you didn't have kids, we'd have more time with each other when we want it. Sure, call us selfish or immature but again, without kids you are more available and more free. Remember before you had kids what it was like ladies? The father of your kids does!
- Competition between you and the kid:Yes there's one! believe me. The bulk of her compassion, devotion and sympathy is reserved for her child. Can you deal with second place? Single mother won t love you in first place...you're always be second or third. Don't even think about being her priority...even once in a while! Because for the most part, her child will be the default recipient of her love. You must be capable of understanding and accepting that fact. And guess what, there's nothing you can do...that's normal. Mature women'll tell you, I love you but in a different way. May be I've too much trauma based on my oedipe complex...ahahaha
Based on my different experiences, there's one exception I could consider which is Widow. Not really sure but!
To be frank, a lot of the young mentality women is very selfish and immature. And by immature, I mean unwilling to accept the consequences of choices you've made through out your lives. There are trade offs in life, and based on my different experiences, women expect men to make trade offs but not make any trade offs themselves. I remain optimistic that this mentality is not the majority of single mothers. Not all single mothers made bad choices, even those that did marry a looser because of their own insecurities could have grown as a person and become emotionally healthy. Some are just victim's of circumstances, their past relationships didn't work.
My advice to Men:
"For every single mom, there is a dad who is delinquent in the dad department.' Men have been walking away from children since the beginning of time. If you are not man enough to be a dad, keep it in your pants.
At the end of the day, date whoever you want...kid or no kid. Be responsible!
PS: Feel free to say I'm selfish bastard....no problemo!
too much visit..too much discussion..always calling..always complaining..always coming to her house for nothing..still in love...etc.etc,,etc..so no way for me...
