Single SPs with children and abusive men

[daydreamer41]

This trip to Montreal, two of the women I was with had children. In between SOGs sometimes I talk. Both had volunteered the information on their children, and I asked about their boyfriends or ex-husbands, and both said that they had boyfriends who were abusive. They said that their men did cocaine or drunk too much and hit them and they were happy that they were gone.

Now, I was not shocked. I know that abusive men exist. But is this a pattern amongst some SP's? One was in her late 20s, and the other was in her early 20s. The majority of the SPs that I have been with are not mothers, but the ones that are, it seems to be a familiar story.

Is this a natural progression? They find a man who is the abusive type and he charms her. Then he she gets pregnant. He gets abusive. She finds it difficult to make ends meet. She becomes an SP.

I know that the childless single girls who are in college or were dancing and find SPing the next step and more lucrative are a different story and don't fall into this scenario.

What has been your guys experience talking to the women who have children?

 

[Big Daddy Cool]

I don't shed one tear for these women. There's plenty of nice decent men out there, but they don't give these guys a chance. Instead they throw themselves at men who treat women like shit. Leason learned: wake up and make more intelegent choices when picking a man.

 

[naughtylady]

I will explain the most typical way women end up in abusive relationships.

The relationship begins like any other relationship.

For arguments sake, lets give fights a violence scale of 1 to 10, where 1 is a very low level of violence.

Like in any other relationship, there is a first fight. It's level is a 2. For you anything over a 3 is too violent and that is it. After the fight he is very apologetic and loving and wonderful. He is forgiven.

The next fight is a 2.5. Again after he apologetic, and sweet, and sorry. He is forgiven.

The next fight is the worse ever. It is a 3. He is more apologetic than ever. He acts like he feels truly sorry. He cannot believe he lost control like that. He is forgiven.

Several years later, they are still together. She wakes up one day and wonders, "How did I get here?"

Obviously it is not quite as simple as that, but that is essentially how it happens.

Ronnie,
Naughtylady

 

[John_Cage]

Very simple... the mentality of women is why. This is not meant to be a sexist statement. Women's very nature is loving, trusting, forgiving and seeing the best in people. Some people that most guys would KNOW are abusers and losers... girls can't tell. I am dead serious about this. Girls ALWAYS think "there's good in people" or "maybe he will change" or "maybe it's my fault" or "he's like this because he had a bad childhood"... etc...

This kind of thinking makes women SO EASY to take advantage of...
Hey, don't get me wrong, it's Great to give people a chance; but a chance equal ONE chance... maybe two if he's really really sorry.

New flashes: The world isn't rosy... unicorns don't exist... and people don't change (their core).

Women love to "mother" bad boys, they like to "make a difference", "help people", "touch someone's life"... With these rosy lens on, it's hard for them to see people the way guys do (hardcore logics and facts). This is also why lots of men are harder on criminals (women believe in reform; we just want the bad guys locked away so our families are safe). We accept that the world sucks, we do our best in it; women try to change the world too much (hope is nice... willfully blind to things isn't).

In a way, women are "too fair"; they believe everyone is equal to the point that they are ALL THE SAME (which is not true, because evil people exist !!!).

Edit: Guys, this is also why girls try to "change" us. If your gf don't like something about you, it's not GOODBYE (like guys do), it's "I will change him". Some of us CAN change (to a degree), but most of us will stay pretty much the same.

 

[metoo4]

Not all sp are abused womens with kids, as you said. NaughtyLady pointed out pretty good one of the usual pattern. That pattern apply to almost all abused womens, not just sp.

The ones who become sp might do it because they feel that's the only thing they are good at? Maybe they're so used to be degraded, their self-esteem drives them to being an sp as the only way to get money? Or it's the appeal of apparently easy money attached to the job

JC, what you say is sad but I tend to agree. Too many womens see "bad boys" as somebody who need their help to change. Some might change but as you said, chances aren't something that should be given away forever. One, maybe 2, then bye-bye!

 

[naughtylady]

Very simple... the mentality of women is why. This is not meant to be a sexist statement. Women's very nature is loving, trusting, forgiving and seeing the best in people. Some people that most guys would KNOW are abusers and losers... girls can't tell. I am dead serious about this. Girls ALWAYS think "there's good in people" or "maybe he will change" or "maybe it's my fault" or "he's like this because he had a bad childhood"... etc...

This kind of thinking makes women SO EASY to take advantage of...
Hey, don't get me wrong, it's Great to give people a chance; but a chance equal ONE chance... maybe two if he's really really sorry.

New flashes: The world isn't rosy... unicorns don't exist... and people don't change (their core).

Women love to "mother" bad boys, they like to "make a difference", "help people", "touch someone's life"... With these rosy lens on, it's hard for them to see people the way guys do (hardcore logics and facts). This is also why lots of men are harder on criminals (women believe in reform; we just want the bad guys locked away so our families are safe). We accept that the world sucks, we do our best in it; women try to change the world too much (hope is nice... willfully blind to things isn't).

In a way, women are "too fair"; they believe everyone is equal to the point that they are ALL THE SAME (which is not true, because evil people exist !!!).

Edit: Guys, this is also why girls try to "change" us. If your gf don't like something about you, it's not GOODBYE (like guys do), it's "I will change him". Some of us CAN change (to a degree), but most of us will stay pretty much the same.

I have to agree with you. This is the way women are socialized; which allows the pattern I described to take place; each time he pushes the limit just a little bit and she forgives, a new higher limit is set; and then this limit is pushed.

You just explained why she forgives.

Ronnie,
Naughtylady