submissive ladies
- Thread starter stoneeca
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Hi stoneeca
Their is some similarities but also big differences about Porn and escort settings !
Escort primarily excel in one on one scenarios and no guidance within the service while in the porn their is security and guidance to insure a form of safety net .
Cheers
Booker
I may be wrong, but I think one of the reasons why there may be so few is because of trust and security.
When you're being submissive, and even allowing the other partner to take control, possibly bound you in some way, you're giving all the control to them, which can be an extremely scary thing to do with a complete stranger you don't know. They might not respect any of your limits once you're bound, and you might be stuck in a very scary situation at that point.
There may be plenty of ladies who don't advertise it, but are perfectly willing to be submissive with someone they've met and become comfortable with.
Just like how it's slightly difficult to start up dom/sub relationships in your personal life with someone you've maybe just picked up at the bar. It requires a certain level of trust and comfort, especially for the sub(at least from my experiences, I may be wrong here).
I'm very open to the idea of being submissive with a client(I actually prefer it!) but I don't advertise it either because I would need to feel safe enough around the other partner to allow them to take control.
Now it does seem like the mistress/male being dominated fantasy is a pretty popular one, which might be a reason why there's so many more women offering that instead.
When you're being submissive, and even allowing the other partner to take control, possibly bound you in some way, you're giving all the control to them, which can be an extremely scary thing to do with a complete stranger you don't know. They might not respect any of your limits once you're bound, and you might be stuck in a very scary situation at that point.
There may be plenty of ladies who don't advertise it, but are perfectly willing to be submissive with someone they've met and become comfortable with.
Just like how it's slightly difficult to start up dom/sub relationships in your personal life with someone you've maybe just picked up at the bar. It requires a certain level of trust and comfort, especially for the sub(at least from my experiences, I may be wrong here).
I'm very open to the idea of being submissive with a client(I actually prefer it!) but I don't advertise it either because I would need to feel safe enough around the other partner to allow them to take control.
Now it does seem like the mistress/male being dominated fantasy is a pretty popular one, which might be a reason why there's so many more women offering that instead.
Any escort who would allow a stranger dominate her in the BDSM sense is plain nuts. Lots of wierd people out there. Especially in Montreal.
Amber made some great points. While there are certainly escorts who enjoy being submissive, most are not going to indulge in that sort of play unless there is a certain level of trust established with their client. It's highly unlikely that a girl is going to feel comfortable with playing a submissive role on a first encounter with a new client.
Additionally I have found that many men who have requested submissive services also want to be degrading and disrespectful. In my opinion that's a turn-off.
Additionally I have found that many men who have requested submissive services also want to be degrading and disrespectful. In my opinion that's a turn-off.
This is certainly a service that as Miss Tiannas has stated " unless a certain level of trust has been established " will probably never be offered due to the nature of the service and the potential for abuse.
It was a retired SP who actually brought it up with me. Just to give an idea, I had been a frequent customer for approx. a year and a half before she felt comfortable enough to discuss it with me. It was actually a fantasy of hers to be bound and be completely submissive. This was purely on a sensual level and did not include any degradation. We clearly discussed how the session should unfold beforehand. For those of you old enough to remember, think 9 1/2 weeks with her being blindfolded and bound by the hands and feet. The satisfaction and arousal was euphoric for the both of us.
Needless to say, there has to be an extremely high level of mutual trust and respect I was very fortunate as this happened to "fall into my lap' so to speak.
It was a retired SP who actually brought it up with me. Just to give an idea, I had been a frequent customer for approx. a year and a half before she felt comfortable enough to discuss it with me. It was actually a fantasy of hers to be bound and be completely submissive. This was purely on a sensual level and did not include any degradation. We clearly discussed how the session should unfold beforehand. For those of you old enough to remember, think 9 1/2 weeks with her being blindfolded and bound by the hands and feet. The satisfaction and arousal was euphoric for the both of us.
Needless to say, there has to be an extremely high level of mutual trust and respect I was very fortunate as this happened to "fall into my lap' so to speak.
Being degrading can be half the fun! But being disrespectful is never okay. You always have to be respectful of the other person's limits.
While talking down to someone is what some people what, they need to understand that's something you need to ease into with someone, especially in this profession. You need to show them you can be a respectful gentlemen first, and respect what they say, then discuss going further, otherwise you may scare them off straight away. I've had some men who wanted to be dominating with me, but when discussing certain limits, specifically told me they might not respect those during the session. That's not going to make me feel very safe or turned-on at all!
To disrespect someone, you need to be serious. Sex is the game, so if you're a gentleman before and after with the lady, and very dominant with her previous agreement during the sex, then I don't see any disrespect.
There is more disrespect when a boss check the hand of his employee without even looking at him, than during a BDSM act between 2 consentent adults.
The most important thing in domination is to have a Key Word that the lady can say when she feel incomfort for real. Cause sayin "please stop !" could be taken as a part of the game..
Hello all,
If the industry was open and legal with everything registered and recorded appointments it would increase comfort levels and control since everyone would be accountable. Still, there would be those whose definitions of boundaries would continue to create problems, and then the nuts probably wouldn't care or be able to control themselves either way, legal or not. In my case this has not been an issue since I have never sought it out, but there have been a few ladies who let me know they were into submission after we had a number of meetings and knew a little about each other. Then again there were some who seemed to encourage being referred to in degrading terms by making those references to themselves during sex. While I enjoy certain kind of submission by a woman it has taken me by surprise to hear an escort start to really get into it, especially on a first meeting. I'm not sure I'm comfortable doing this with an escort. With a long time girlfriend it's easier but it's still discomforting in some complicated ways. Generally I've stayed far away from anything hardcore of this kind, escorts or not. It's fun when it's light, but then going further is not for me.
I don't see how any escort can feel good about getting into some hard submissive stuff with strangers within the current standing of the laws and the near lack of any security, unless it's with a long time client you've gotten to know and know enough about.
Good luck,
Merlot
If the industry was open and legal with everything registered and recorded appointments it would increase comfort levels and control since everyone would be accountable. Still, there would be those whose definitions of boundaries would continue to create problems, and then the nuts probably wouldn't care or be able to control themselves either way, legal or not. In my case this has not been an issue since I have never sought it out, but there have been a few ladies who let me know they were into submission after we had a number of meetings and knew a little about each other. Then again there were some who seemed to encourage being referred to in degrading terms by making those references to themselves during sex. While I enjoy certain kind of submission by a woman it has taken me by surprise to hear an escort start to really get into it, especially on a first meeting. I'm not sure I'm comfortable doing this with an escort. With a long time girlfriend it's easier but it's still discomforting in some complicated ways. Generally I've stayed far away from anything hardcore of this kind, escorts or not. It's fun when it's light, but then going further is not for me.
I don't see how any escort can feel good about getting into some hard submissive stuff with strangers within the current standing of the laws and the near lack of any security, unless it's with a long time client you've gotten to know and know enough about.
Good luck,
Merlot
You are absolutely correct and there are very fine lines when it comes to this stuff. I have been called names by a client I was extremely comfortable with and I did find it to be a turn on. But again, that comfort level needs to be there. However when I was talking about what I felt to be degrading, I was thinking more about acts such as being slapped in the face, having a penis shoved down your throat until you choke and gag, rough anal penetration, stuff like that. Maybe some girls like those things, but not me.
I have done bondage session with maybe 8 ladies over the years. Best tips I can gave is talk about this with a girl you see for some time and with a mutual trust between you. Bondage is just not about whip, floggers, slap on the face etc.(i'm really not a fan of this aspect)..It can be very sensual too, like tied to a bed, spreadeagle, blindfold, very slow teasing. When it's done right it really turn on woman and good chance she will ask for it again, then you can move slowy into more heavy stuff if she willing to.
Be gentle and ask ofthen if everything is alright, she must feel in confidence.
Don't PM me for names, I will never disclose the identity of those wonferfull laidies by respect.
Be gentle and ask ofthen if everything is alright, she must feel in confidence.
Don't PM me for names, I will never disclose the identity of those wonferfull laidies by respect.
You could always bring one of these lovelies over here...I met with one in Germany and man can i tell you, if you want submissive, it's worth a trip.
http://www.international-fetishescort.com/de
http://www.international-fetishescort.com/de
Some of you might remember one SP had a writing contest where she would pick the top three and reenact the stories that were written offering a free hour for the winners. I was one of the winners and shared a two hour session with her. The story related to a teacher and a student who was a major flirt. The teacher decided to take matters into his own hands and give the flirty student a lesson. The session covered bondage, slapping, blindfolds, ice and various other teasing techniques. In the BDSM world it might rate a 6 out of 10 in terms of intensity but that was by design.
At the end of the session she told me how she was interested and excited to try this and the contest offered an opportunity.
At the end of the session she told me how she was interested and excited to try this and the contest offered an opportunity.
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