Tender 35 on Lilianne
The post that I laughed the most was regarding the review of Tender35 on Lilianne, an SP from the South shore.
Here it is:
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Gents, after reading the interesting reviews of Lilianne, I had to give her a try. Anyone who gets a ``Fuck Pig Experience`` description deserves a shot! So, I show up one afternoon at her ranther dingy apartment building, and as soon as she lets me in, the smell of B.O. almost knocks me off my feet. She`s pleasant enough, and her looks are definitely ok, not great, but like previous reviews have said, we`ve all done worse. It`s when she opens her mouth that the real problems start. First, she natters the whole time I was there, from start to finish, about everything - the weather, sex, her apartment, sex, etc... Second, she`s got a mouth full of bent chiclets that some may find a little off-putting. Personally, when I see good teeth, I think nice clean girl...when I see bad teeth, I think...you get the picture. We move to her bedroom, and again the B.O. is wicked, but I`m there for a reason, and I won`t be distracted by a little odour...
I start by undressing as she cleans up in the bathroom. I hear her gargle, and then I guess she gave herself a quick wipe, as she moves back into the bedroom a second or two later. Personally, I like a girl who showers after every visitor, but that`s just me. I also like to shower before we get started, but that wasn`t offered, and that worried me a bit.
She starts by the backrub, and then after a minute, I get the flip tap, and she keeps giving me a pretty good rubdown, not pro, but good nonetheless. She eventually works her way down to the good parts, and starts a good , lots of noise, and some good ball sucking. She had mentioned earlier no DFK was available because she had a cold, and when I experienced her back door attention - her tongue was on my asshole like a fat kid on an Oreo - I`m glad that we didn`t swap spit.
I love a good rim job, and she went to town...I was worried she was trying to suck a kidney out through my rectum, she was pulling so hard. After a few minutes, I decided to return the favour with a little DATY. Things were clean, so I was still wondering where the BO smell was coming from....After just a few minutes, she came like Santa on Christmas, and then let me know in no uncertain terms that she needed some cock inside her right now... Happy to oblige, she steered me to her condom stash, and I slipped on a raincoat and went to make my initial approach. She let me know right away that the front door wouldn`t do, and that she wanted it in the ass ASAP. Well, I was a little disappointed, but figured, when in Greece...anyway, we banged for a good five minutes, and I couldn`t slam her hard enough...she kept demanding more and harder...yikes, this woman is starting to scare me...we both finally come, and as I pull out the dipstick, I notice that there is a Code Brown violation...I like anal as much as the next guy, but when a girl begs me for it, the least she can do is make sure she`s clean. I`m no Ron Jeremy, so I know I didn`t reach any untouched areas of her colon, and consequently, some brown loving was a major turn-off. At this point, I`m feeling a little nauseous, and I don`t know if it`s the BO in my nose, the shit on my cock, or the buzz in my ear from her incessant nattering, but I know I`ve got to get out....
As we`re cleaning up, she`s telling me about what a valuable service she provides, how she`s always available, no questions asked, etc... She genuinely believes that she is providing a noble service to her clients. I`ve got no problem with feeling pride in your work, but she needs to keep a little perspective about the job she`s doing, and she needs to enjoy the company of the men a little more, and not just use them as sex toys, assuming that by making them come she is keeping everyone happy. In fact, while she is good at making you come, she does not impart any sense of intimacy during the act.
My bottom line, if you love anal, she`s worth a try. But, for my money, I would much rather spend an hour with Nikita at A et Cie, where everything is on the menu, for a very reasonable price, and knowing that she is really into the men she meets, and that she is scrupulously clean. As my title says, better dates are available.
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I just found this extremely funny. Here is the URL:
https://merb.cc/vbulletin/showthread.php?t=11781&page=2
Lone Rider
A simple massage visit could become a novel with intrigue and drama, or incredible written stand-up performances... 
