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Was I wrong to be annoyed?

envelopes

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Oct 7, 2019
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Can I ask why you’re driving to another city, sometimes very far from your home, without a back up plan?

I wouldn’t even plan a date in a coffee shop without a back up plan in case it’s too packed.
I still had a good time as I found an alternative at an incall to take care of business.... but still.... seeing a backup for 1 hour at an incall vs a favorite regular for a 3 hour session with dinner + activities is something I looked forward to for 2 weeks, so it's still very disappointing and annoying.
 
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Sylar

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Jun 17, 2019
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God damn it.

I've been complaining for a year about this sort of stuff happening.

It just happened again. This is the 5th time this past year. I got to Montreal this afternoon for a 6PM 3 hour appointment and she suddenly stopped responding (regular, multiple repeats, this is her 2nd time doing this)
The surprising part is that you gave her another chance after this happened once before...
 

talkinghead

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Aug 15, 2007
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I'd like to add a somewhat different perspective to the Plan B advice because it presumes that the one and only goal of a date is getting off. It's a version of "any port in a storm"; if your three-hour date with your regular falls through, then a last-minute incall with a random lady will have to do. But for some clients it's not about the climax but about the narrative. It's undoubtedly because I'm no longer sowing my wild oats (I'm getting old!) but I only book 2-3 hour evening dates that include a nice bottle and a nice hotel room. If that falls through at the last minute, I'm not interested in hustling to an incall or MP. Since it's unlikely that an indy would be available at the last minute, that means trying to find an agency outcall--and that's not exactly a "plan." There are lots of approaches to this hobby, from the perspectives of both the SP and the client, and all of those approaches have their weak points.
 

LC18

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I'd like to add a somewhat different perspective to the Plan B advice because it presumes that the one and only goal of a date is getting off.

More like picking 2-3 girls you’d like to see before planning the trip not so much of a “booking on the spot thing”.
 

talkinghead

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More like picking 2-3 girls you’d like to see before planning the trip not so much of a “booking on the spot thing”.
Sure, that's easy! Like many, I enjoy the research. But I would never book more than one girl, with one as a backup. So if it's 7pm, I just got the cancellation notice, and I find myself high and dry in a hotel room, then it's an agency hail mary or I fly solo into the night...
 
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Giselle Montreal

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I only book 2-3 hour evening dates that include a nice bottle and a nice hotel room. If that falls through at the last minute, I'm not interested in hustling to an incall or MP. Since it's unlikely that an indy would be available at the last minute
I would say that it's worth contacting a few of them to know ;)
 

peachy

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I'd like to add a somewhat different perspective to the Plan B advice because it presumes that the one and only goal of a date is getting off. It's a version of "any port in a storm"; if your three-hour date with your regular falls through, then a last-minute incall with a random lady will have to do. But for some clients it's not about the climax but about the narrative. It's undoubtedly because I'm no longer sowing my wild oats (I'm getting old!) but I only book 2-3 hour evening dates that include a nice bottle and a nice hotel room. If that falls through at the last minute, I'm not interested in hustling to an incall or MP. Since it's unlikely that an indy would be available at the last minute, that means trying to find an agency outcall--and that's not exactly a "plan." There are lots of approaches to this hobby, from the perspectives of both the SP and the client, and all of those approaches have their weak points.
Good point and well said. I agree that maybe just a plan B isn't always an option. Planning a longer date is a different story than planning the 1 hour rendezvous. And a last minute cancellation on a date that has been planned well in advance is very frustrating, no matter which side of that it is. But sometimes, it's just a matter of shit happens and we have to accept it and move on. I feel we can all be a little upset about that because after all, we are only human but we should also always be prepared mentally for that possibility. The posts about ghosting are something totally different, imo. In the case of the OP, it seems the SP made an honest effort to make some amends to the unfortunate situation so despite the understandable frustration of a last minute issue, I likely would have just chalked it up to bad luck and left it at that.
I will say, this whole conversation brings up some interesting points on our perspectives though. Everything in life as seen differently through every minds eye. And even that view can change constantly, depending on our own situation in any given moment in time. Sorry if I am getting off track and philosophical, y'all. I seem to be doing a lot of that lately. Pondering our existence and all that. :rolleyes:
 

Giselle Montreal

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Pardon me for asking but don't most SPs frown on guys contacting them without really intending on booking? It seems to be something many say is somewhat of a pet peeve.
I guess so. But those who accept same-day bookings or last-minute appointments mention it on their website. That's what preparing your trip is about: reviewing websites, taking notes of those who could be available during your trip (their Twitter might help with that information, not only their website) and then if when your plan falls through, you know who to contact. It's not sure you will find someone available of course. But trying is better than thinking that no one is available and all indies are the same.
 
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Rebaynia

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Pardon me for asking but don't most SPs frown on guys contacting them without really intending on booking? It seems to be something many say is somewhat of a pet peeve.
Depends on the SP. Some expect appointments in advance. And want to feel out a future potential visit. Saying I will be planning visits in future and am seeing if we might be compatible isn't a bad thing, and then if you get canceled on last minute, and reaching out to someone who peeked your interest in the past to see if they are available now isn't the worst thing. Some see them as time waiters, some might see it as a potential future date.
It is a bigger red flag if the appointment is made and flaked on or canceled last minute. I wouldn't blame someone for starting a chat today, to see if we get along and then when they are ready reaching out then for the appointment. There are a lot of men who go straight to are you available? as an introduction, and that to me is more annoying than someone who contacts when interest is peeking, and gives us time to feel if this is right or not, could be the SP he is looking to book next time he comes in town, but this one canceled, so let's see if this other person is available today.
Not all SPs see things the same way. Not all SPs expect first contact to be a setup for an appointment right away. It's about laying out your intentions of your contact right away. 'Hi I find you attractive and though I don't live in the area am hopeing to visit soon. Was wondering if you don't mind sparing a moment to see if we might be compatible for a date when I am able to set up time to travel to your area.' If the conversation doesn't go well, then you weren't compatible.
No harm, no foul, no hurt feelings, and if you are canceled on you have a backup with some kind of repertoire, sure the backup may not be available, but there is also the chance they are, and it has been a slow week, and they are happy you reached out to them.

Not all SPs see it as timewaisters, to some it is just an appointment not yet finalized.
 

LC18

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Sure, that's easy! Like many, I enjoy the research. But I would never book more than one girl, with one as a backup. So if it's 7pm, I just got the cancellation notice, and I find myself high and dry in a hotel room, then it's an agency hail mary or I fly solo into the night...

Let me clarify.

You do not book 3 different women for the same day.

Plan A is the woman you really want. You contact her, arrange a date and hope she will not cancel.

Plan B (a few minutes after finishing plan A) You look in agencies or massage parlours for back up plans. Except a few, they’re almost always available. The very popular girls might be fully booked by the time you call but if you’ve picked 3-4 girls there will probably be one available.

Plan C is to book just anyone and hope for an amazing surprise.

Does it make more sense?
 

talkinghead

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Aug 15, 2007
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It makes total sense. I've used one agency for eight or nine years, and if I book an indy then the agency is always my back up. As I said above, I don't really consider that a "plan." To use your example above, it would be like saying that if the coffee shop is full, you can always stroll over to the park.

Personally, I wouldn't do a last minute incall or MP but I would do a last minute agency date ... and hope for an amazing surprise! I tend to trust the booker(s) anyway so I am always hoping for the best. As for a last minute indy booking, I myself have never had luck with that. Since I prefer evening dates, a late cancellation means that I'm sending out emails or texts in the late afternoon or early evening, and in my experience Indies have not been too pleased with the late request. A couple have even commented that they must be a backup! So I've ended up feeling disrespectful. Again, that's just my experience and I hear you: there ARE Indies who would welcome a last minute date if they could make it work.
 

Fradi

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This always depends on who you are booking and what the circumstances of the cancellation are.

If I book a known regular and she cancels at the last minute because she hurt herself. I would simply ask if she needs help of any kind whether to drive her to a clinic or pain medication and tell her that her health is the most important and ask her to let me know when she is better and we can reschedule.

If I book someone for the first time and the same thing happens again I would give her the benefit of the doubt and try to reschedule.

If I book someone and she ghosts me, there are no second chances she will never hear from me again.

Seeing as I am a local I really don’t need to make a plan B I can wait a couple of days to book ladies I know well and sure to have a great time with, but definitely someone driving a couple of hours to Montreal should have a plan B, shit happens.
 

EagerBeaver

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The one thing I should add to this thread, after re-reading CenterofNH's original post, is that this exchange went on WAY too long with each side trying to make the other feel bad, with nothing constructive getting accomplished in the process. While both sides injected needless drama, I think that a cancellation is a risk the client takes on. In effect, when you book, you are betting against a cancellation. I suppose CenterofNH would contend that the SP's assurances that she could make the date made it a low risk bet, but she impaled her rib after those assurances. The risk of that happening was low. However, plenty of low risk bets are lost. It would be no different than betting on the Edmonton Oilers to win the Stanley Cup, and then screaming abuse at Leo Draisaitl in an effort to shame him after they lost. It was a relatively low risk bet, with odds. Losing the bet doesn't change the risk or the disappointment with the result- the Oilers lost in a deciding game 7, by 1 goal, after a series of very erratic offensive performances, with Draisaitl performing poorly a constant in the series. But verbailizing one's disappointment, in a loud, profane, or shame-inducing manner, is not likely to give Leo Draisaitl any incentive to perform better in a possible final series next year than he already has, based on what happened. The exchange of the CenterofNH with the SP was equivalent to the abusive fan who lost his bet on the Oilers and later yelled at Draisaitl as he skated dejectedly off the ice (and possibly with a hurt rib), "you monkey ball sucker, you caused me to lose a lot of money and waste my time!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" Is it going to make Draisaitl feel any worse than he already does, having let down his teammates? Unlikely. And a similar piling on occurred here.

Perhaps, CenterofNH felt he was lied to. But does guilting the SP change anything? He managed to guilt her into $300 in credits, which he did not accept, but given the amount of bad will he created with her, no date with her, for any amount of money, is going to repair the damage that was already done. She is not going to forget this exchange with the "guilt trip dude".
 
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Cap'tain Fantastic

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Damn EB, you couldn’t resist bringing that up in mid August! Lmao
Someone here is probably still working on digesting the lost!
 

EagerBeaver

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Damn EB, you couldn’t resist bringing that up in mid August! Lmao
Someone here is probably still working on digesting the lost!
I know some posters here did bet on the Oilers and lost money, money they had counted on. They will appreciate the analogy. But CenterofNH was no different. He lost his bet, and dealt very badly with losing it.
 

envelopes

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Oct 7, 2019
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More like picking 2-3 girls you’d like to see before planning the trip not so much of a “booking on the spot thing”.
Maybe that would work in 2018. But that’s impossible now.

Same day booking for popular girls doesn’t happen
 

envelopes

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Oct 7, 2019
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The one thing I should add to this thread, after re-reading CenterofNH's original post, is that this exchange went on WAY too long with each side trying to make the other feel bad, with nothing constructive getting accomplished in the process. While both sides injected needless drama, I think that a cancellation is a risk the client takes on. In effect, when you book, you are betting against a cancellation. I suppose CenterofNH would contend that the SP's assurances that she could make the date made it a low risk bet, but she impaled her rib after those assurances. The risk of that happening was low. However, plenty of low risk bets are lost. It would be no different than betting on the Edmonton Oilers to win the Stanley Cup, and then screaming abuse at Leo Draisaitl in an effort to shame him after they lost. It was a relatively low risk bet, with odds. Losing the bet doesn't change the risk or the disappointment with the result- the Oilers lost in a deciding game 7, by 1 goal, after a series of very erratic offensive performances, with Draisaitl performing poorly a constant in the series. But verbailizing one's disappointment, in a loud, profane, or shame-inducing manner, is not likely to give Leo Draisaitl any incentive to perform better in a possible final series next year than he already has, based on what happened. The exchange of the CenterofNH with the SP was equivalent to the abusive fan who lost his bet on the Oilers and later yelled at Draisaitl as he skated dejectedly off the ice (and possibly with a hurt rib), "you monkey ball sucker, you caused me to lose a lot of money and waste my time!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" Is it going to make Draisaitl feel any worse than he already does, having let down his teammates? Unlikely. And a similar piling on occurred here.

Perhaps, CenterofNH felt he was lied to. But does guilting the SP change anything? He managed to guilt her into $300 in credits, which he did not accept, but given the amount of bad will he created with her, no date with her, for any amount of money, is going to repair the damage that was already done. She is not going to forget this exchange with the "guilt trip dude".
Well that’s not a really comparable analogy.

It’d be like if he was skating off, centero says “I lost money and time, but it’s fine, we’ll get them next time……”

And instead of being a professional and just leaving it there, Leo turns around and said “I DOUBT IT!! YOURE NOT THE TYPE OF FAN I WANT ANYWAY”

It’s ridiculous
 
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