What’s the criteria for your ATF

[Sylar]

Hello Merbists,

Happy New Year first of all. I hope everyone had a good start in 2025.

As someone who usually prefers experiences with new SPs over repeats I was wondering how you all set the “criteria” for your ATF. In other words, how and when did that special lady become your ATF and what triggered this unique “promotion”?

Was it after a certain time period? (Duration)
Was it after certain amount of dates? (Frequency)
Was it a service only that particular SP offered?
Were you comfortable sharing private details outside the bedroom?
Did you meet outside of the paid hours as friends? (Activites without intimacy)
Common interests?
Or just feeling a connection?

I understand it will likely be a combination of all the above but I am curious how each of you found your ATF and what made that person so special.

Bonus question: Once you had your ATF, how often do you see her compared to other SPs.

Thanks!

 

[rando555]

Connection + Chemistry. That's it.

Lack of physical attraction precludes the latter.

Also I put a lot of effort into myself so having my partner be attracted to me is also a major factor and it cannot be faked, although there's definitely individuals that are good at acting

 

[LC18]

My ATFs are men that not necessarily book often but that make every date a special moment.

Men I can be my true self with and not be scared to be weird and make inappropriate jokes.

Men that make me comfortable enough to see them in their private residences.

Men that I could forget to ask them for money because it felt like a regular date.

Men that aren’t necessarily rich but that will still spoil me by booking longer dates or by taking me to a restaurant.

Unlike clients, I have no control on how many times I see them so I just hope that I am their ATF as well.

 

[envelopes]

I know there are differing definitions of ALL Time Favorite. For me, my definition of an ATF is "real" GFE.

I know on this board, GFE is a term used for certain services provided.

For me, I think GFE means you really feel like the SP is your GF where you can have a good chat and have great action. Had 2 ATFs according to that definition.

 

[David Sel et Poivre]

For me, the SP will become my ATF if (overtime) there is a genuine / authentic mutual interest (vibe) whereby we can explore / experience the 5 types of intimacy together easily and / or with some effort and attention.
Physical.
Intellectual.
Spiritual.
Experimental.
Emotional.

 

[T'storm]

How did she became my ATF? It was simple enough, I first saw her pictures and had this physical attraction about her, read her very well review and was immediately drawn to her even before seeing her in person first. Our first date was amazing, her reviews were accurate and I felt this sensation that was hard to miss, I'm sure she felt it too.
I needed to make a second date so I could go back and pick up my jaw that fell to the ground on our first meeting. After picking it up we sat and chatted about our childhood...she is 14 years younger then me and yet still so much in common, the way we were raised, music, activities, she likes older gentlemen and she also felt close to me. She became my one and only for 2 years and I wanted more but I thought, what if there are more gems like her out there?
My search started but it was never easy, I found others that were very hot, sexy, but without the personality that my ATF has. I never did stop seeing her but every second time I needed to be with someone I did my research and after 1 year I stuck with her because she gives me comfort and I feel like I'm at home with her, true GFE.

 

[LeDodo]

Hello Merbists,

Happy New Year first of all. I hope everyone had a good start in 2025.

As someone who usually prefers experiences with new SPs over repeats I was wondering how you all set the “criteria” for your ATF. In other words, how and when did that special lady become your ATF and what triggered this unique “promotion”?

Was it after a certain time period? (Duration)
Was it after certain amount of dates? (Frequency)
Was it a service only that particular SP offered?
Were you comfortable sharing private details outside the bedroom?
Did you meet outside of the paid hours as friends? (Activites without intimacy)
Common interests?
Or just feeling a connection?

I understand it will likely be a combination of all the above but I am curious how each of you found your ATF and what made that person so special.

Bonus question: Once you had your ATF, how often do you see her compared to other SPs.

Thanks!

For me it's more like there was something at first that attracted me that gave a first impression to book her. Mainly it's about the character, intelligence and energy that she has.

I would say an ATF is not based on the first encounter or the following. But more on the indescribable feeling to want to see her again and get to know her more.

As for the bonus question I would answer in the opposite way: once you have your ATF you are less likely to see other SPs.

But I would rather ask if you have ATFs

 

[philonius]

I've thought about it but I don't have any one person I would consider an ATF rn. Everyone I've seen (that I would repeat with) brings something different and exciting and I find it hard to put one above another for very long. It's a good and bad problem bc it's hard to narrow it down to just a couple dates when I'm in town.

 

[Wessex]

Charles Bronson's ATF ( The Mechanic film) :

 

[Ogre Tones]

Great thread!

Emotional compatibility: a trustworthy person that is drama free. I also feel most comfortable with people that have a personailty of their own (I am ok with weirder people - aren’t we all ) but emotional intelligence is important as well.

Physical chemistry: I am not looking for Claudia Schiffer…but someone I find beautiful in her own body. Like a confident girl next door - I find more attractive and a top model without personality. Most importanly, respect in the physical part of dates. As I said here before, Aniah (massage) is by far my ATF - she was no full service. I’ve always respected this and I know she appreciated and gave back more (like amazing bbbjs). We did indulge once into full service at her initation, but I felt I was crossing a line…never happened again even if I still fantasize about that late afternoon meeting.

Fun factor: to have each meeting fun, chatting about what’s on the news, or the last hockey game etc. But also getting to know each other and get more genuinly intimate (how did your dad’s surgery go etc.)

Communication skills: easy to talk and organize our rendez vous. Getting a feeling that we are telling each other some true things (without revealing our personal life that should stay confidential). This feeling that you and her can stay honest and open.

These are my quick reflections on this Saturday am

OT

 

[Gazoo64]

^^^^
I agree with this criteria, pretty close to how it is with my current ATF.

Especially this part:
“Emotional compatibility: a trustworthy person that is drama free.”

Cheers!

 

[NoPantiesAllowed]

Must be a kisser, non stop kisser and with cute feets. I'm happy with that!

 

[PSEfreak]

In no particular order:

Great kisser
Great dirty talker
Enthusiastic PSE provider including Greek
Confident
Shorter than me

 

[Fradi]

I picked her out after reviewing hundreds of ladies web sights and photographs so obviously in my eyes she was gorgeous and I liked the elegant and classy photographs in cocktail dresses instead of the in your face nude porn type and the way she described herself the experience you could have with her.
She didn’t disappoint and after seeing her a few times I was hooked on this kind smart and easy going elegant lady that always looked as if she stepped out of a fashion magazine.

It has been 8 years now that I have been seeing her and she is a close friend, we talk often through email, text, I see her often it is really like having a gorgeous girlfriend without any commitment or the hassles.
She is so easy and pleasant to be with, be it in the bedroom or in a restaurant, just an amazing young lady who I will always be grateful to for her kindness and for being in my life and making it so much better.

 

[Ogre Tones]

Must be a kisser, non stop kisser and with cute feets. I'm happy with that!

If half the toes were missing, I would still be happy to see my ATF ahahaha. Never been too much into feet. I miss her.
OT

 

[Enjoying life]

I picked her out after reviewing hundreds of ladies web sights and photographs so obviously in my eyes she was gorgeous and I liked the elegant and classy photographs in cocktail dresses instead of the in your face nude porn type and the way she described herself the experience you could have with her.
She didn’t disappoint and after seeing her a few times I was hooked on this kind smart and easy going elegant lady that always looked as if she stepped out of a fashion magazine.

It has been 8 years now that I have been seeing her and she is a close friend, we talk often through email, text, I see her often it is really like having a gorgeous girlfriend without any commitment or the hassles.
She is so easy and pleasant to be with, be it in the bedroom or in a restaurant, just an amazing young lady who I will always be grateful to for her kindness and for being in my life and making it so much better.

Sounds great! Not like a friend of mine who is cheap with no balls to getting an sp waiting around for off and on co worker 60 girlfriend who controls him when to have boring sex!

 

[DetectiveDavidMills]

She is in the same kinks as you
She says the right things at the right time
She gets you hard constantly (even you think the session is supposed to be over but you're ready to go again)
You are able to make her cum both clitorally and vaginally...
Genuine connection and chemistry...
Long hair...
She gets very wet before going down on her

 

[Cap'tain Fantastic]

She is in the same kinks as you
She says the right things at the right time
She gets you hard constantly (even you think the session is supposed to be over but you're ready to go again)
You are able to make her cum both clitorally and vaginally...
Genuine connection and chemistry...
Long hair...
She gets very wet before going down on her

Damn, sounds like Rosa!

 

[Cap'tain Fantastic]

My ultimate ATF kept me going hard for 14 years! I dont expect this to happen again, and its perfect as it is.

It started with her taking all the initiatives on our first session and even though I was already well seasoned in the sex department, she left me speechless! Not much talk went on that day, but on our following encounters we quickly started to open up about our respective lives.

From there the chit chat was always honest and genuine and the sex just got steamier with time. She never started the clock really, the lenght of time we spent together was random, sometimes I had only 1 hour between work and other times we could spend 3-4 hours together.

Never got charged more than 1 hour and we would often meet for lunch out and book a hotel room after at no charge. I have to admit, it sometimes felt like having a gf, a very naughty one!

 

[lapadict]

Had a regular back in the 90's. She was my ATF because first off the price was affordable to me at the time and was able to see her every 2 weeks or so for about 3 years. Now for the next reasons. She was cute. My body type. Great smile. Smelled good. Dressed a bit trashy which was a turn on. Now for the next level reasons. Every few months she would add to the experience by surprising me with new experiences. I didn't ask for any and there was no asking for more money from her but I did throw in a few extra dollars. The first time, out of the blue, after vigorously giving me a CBJ she ripped off the condom and begged me to COF. I had never done it before. To have a fantasy come to life just like that was stunning. Now, I only ever do CBJ, NEVER FS, but I was so comfortable with her that the day she took off the cover to finish me off, I just went with it. The next year I struggled to not go FS despite her repeatedly doing her best to get me to cave. The closest I came was when she told me that "I need you in my ass". OMG that took discipline.

There were other firsts with her. The without warning prostate massage became my all time greatest orgasm. The time that she insisted on showering with me only to realize that her plan was to RIM me. I may have passed out. I totally sub missed to her when unexpectedly she Snowballed me and nearly started to cowgirl. She stopped but not before getting herself off while still Cum kissing. To this day, I have never seen a girl have such an intense orgasm. I didn't know back then about this fetish.

Then a few months later it was all over. She told me one September night that I was her last client and I could do whatever I wanted. I told her that I just wanted to make-out for an hour. We mutually finished each other off. She refused my money and we went off to live our lives. I saw her once about 10 years later at a mall with two toddlers. I kept my distance and she didn't see me. Haven't been to that mall since.

Nothing has come even remotely close to that ATF.