What are your tricks to not get caugth by your wife?

[mrten]

I was at a hotel reception desk once and the receptionist was on the phone with an irate wife demanding to speak with her husband. It seems that he had called his wife from the hotel room and she had either pressed *69 or she had call display and found out that he was at the hotel. Listening to the wife yell on the phone and the receptionist trying to explain that she didn't know what room he was in was funny. I mean, how can you be so stupid. Anyways, I'm sure that the shit hit the fan that night.
So remember gentlemen...............

 

[mrten]

How not to get caught...........

Don't reply to this thread, she might be here on MERB !

Ooooopppss! what have I just done??

I knew that you were up to something, you no good........
Mrs.b_cup_lover

 

[cinque]

Have a second "pay as you go" cell phone for making dates. Wives and their lawyers have a nasty habit of looking at cell phone records and checking your history and the dates, times and locations of cell phone calls.

A throwaway phone saves a lot of angst and somehow just gets lost before anyone can use it/

 

[Mike Mercury]

Women appreciate honesty in men.

You really think so?

 

[mrten]

If it flies, floats or fucks-it's cheaper to lease. SP's, MP's and strippers that may cost more in the short term will save a boat load in the long run. Girlfriends, while usually hornier and more sexual than wives will turn on you if the relationship goes too long or gets sour. I've seen too many guys get hosed by a girlfriend who "anonomously" tipped a wife to the cheating. Get's real ugly real fast. Never promise a girlfriend that you will dump wifey for her unless you mean it. Therefore, if you have the luxury, hobby out of town. Work, and golf trips usually work the best for me. Here's the One axiom I live by> Never ever, ever tell your wife/girlfriend you fucked around to ease your pain or guilt. Take it to your grave. She will not, repeat WILL NOT, forgive you and say how can I be a better wife and lover so you will want to stay home. SHE WILL MAKE YOUR LIFE A LIVING HELL. If you feel guilty over what you did, too fucking bad, shut up about it. So don't tell your wife, mom,dad,sister or anybody who's wife knows you or your wife, they don't care either; it's not their problem and they may figure "she has the need to know" SHUT THE FUCK UP.

Now there's wise woeds from a wise man

 

[Juliana]

How Funny!

But very true. I have to remember this quote/advice.

I finally decided to get into this hobby a few years ago when I realized it is less expensive than dating or marriage/divorce.

Best lover you are making me laugh, thank you for your great insight.

''If you dont find it in the index please look carefully and slowly at the entire cathalogue''.

 

[DirtyOWL]

MERB can be Googled

Here's what I found out the hard way : MERB posts and PROFILES show up in Google searches. If you use a handle, and then your significant other finds what it is and does a Google search on it, it will list your posts in MERB. A web site can put a file on the site to suppress Google from indexing the site, but MERB chooses to allow Google to index the site. Is this info in the FAQ anywhere?

Don't use a handle to post on MERB that you use anywhere else.

 

[t0xic_alien]

Wtf

man, the google thing just sucks.
mods, given the nature of this forum and also the nature of our posts, is there something you can do about it?
if not, it kinda sucks. And this time it ain't good.

 

[muddy]

Here's what I found out the hard way : MERB posts and PROFILES show up in Google searches. If you use a handle, and then your significant other finds what it is and does a Google search on it, it will list your posts in MERB. A web site can put a file on the site to suppress Google from indexing the site, but MERB chooses to allow Google to index the site. Is this info in the FAQ anywhere?

Don't use a handle to post on MERB that you use anywhere else.

Well, I don't know about you guys, but Google was the way I found this site in the first place, quite a while ago. I was googling the name of a massage place and struck pay dirt: a site that gave me all the ins and outs and reviewed all the girls!

 

[spiky]

Here we are...

Some usefull....


Never write phone # on a paper that will remain in your pockets( sooner or later she’ll find something)

If you do it , code it… use a man’s name or false name or false professional position AND a false area code ( if your wife tries)

Use different hotels and resto. Two or tree time at the same place is enough

Plan your meetings on different days of the week

Never be sharp on time scheduling on anything ( approximation and slight confusion can save you !!!)

Avoid to much precision on every thing and persons( it takes a huge memory to recall)

Involve some imaginary persons and forget their names, they may save you one day….

ALWAYS DENY…

Pay cash as much as possible

Have 2 credit cards one with home address and one with your business address so the bills will of your second one will be mailed to your office

Keep journeys with your girl friend as short as possible ( one day is the best )

Use the dry cleaner as much as possible

Always clear your browser’s temporary files and history each time you leave your computer. It’s like locking your car’s doors when you go shopping.

There so much more but these are some basics…

Have fun…

Spiky

 

[General Gonad]

There so much more but these are some basics…

Have fun…

Spiky

Spiky,

Great list. You forgot to mention not to call her by your favorite SP's name when you're making love to her!

GG

 

[naughtylady]

He said: Oh Karen, your the girl for me.
He said: Oh Karen, you mean the world to me.
He said: Oh Karen, will you marry me?

She said: My name is Susan.


Ronnie,
Naughtylady

 

[nacho]

Ass-Lover>> & spikey Most excellent lists

9) If you forward your calls to your cell phone, never answer while DATY, or SOG, your voice might sound different enough to arouse suspicion.

10) Never have a SP perform after she ate Lebanese or greek food and go back to your wife for a last BJ before going to sleep.


#9. This is LOL funny right there, I can`t imagine any phone call from any one on the planet important enough to take while I am dining or being dined on or taking an SOG. The cell has an off button use it.

#10. The things you learn on line. I also can`t imagine getting a BJ at home after one on the road either. Hell I haven`t had a bj at home since the wedding.

 

[nacho]

That is hilarious

A_L. Trulu one of the best stories I've read. You owe that guy abeer just for the mileage alone.

Dee, Two others..

The food that cuts a womans desire for wild sex in half? wedding cake

Why do women smile at their wedding? They know they've given their last blow job. cheers

 

[Carla]

Sleep talking..

None of you guys ever talk in your sleep?

I have a serious problem talking in my sleep, especially when I hear someone talking (to me).. I've been told I even tell stories - events from my life in my sleep!

The most embarrassing part for me is sleeping over at someone's house and say what I truly think about the owners.. I've even had this done to me!

I've been wondering for a while what activities and substances make me more or less prone to talking in my sleep. I discovered that stimulants, listening to loud music with lyrics and any exciting events during the day make the chances more prominent. On the other hand, being really tired reduces these chances.. Eating before sleep is not good, while beer and any kind of depressants will contribute to a silent sleep.

I'm surprised nobody mentioned this problem. Those who don't talk in their sleep are lucky..

Carla

 

[chef]

.................I've been wondering for a while what activities and substances make me more or less prone to talking in my sleep. I discovered that stimulants, listening to loud music with lyrics and any exciting events during the day make the chances more prominent. On the other hand, being really tired reduces these chances.. Eating before sleep is not good, while beer and any kind of depressants will contribute to a silent sleep.
.............

Carla,

I'm by no means an expert on the subject (even though I did work in a sleep research lab for 4 years), but I have found that the prep before the sleep is important - take some quiet time before you attempt to sleep (reading, listening to quiet music, meditating, etc), so that your mind is calmed down. I think you will find that you then do not talk in your sleep.

 

[Chuckles]

None of you guys ever talk in your sleep?
...
I'm surprised nobody mentioned this problem. Those who don't talk in their sleep are lucky..

Carla

Beats the heck out of me - I'd kinda have to have someone else in bed (awake) while I'm in bed (asleep). As it is, I don't think I have a loud enough voice for the neighbors to hear me if I am...

But back to the topic - I would think that the folk who are concerned about not letting their SOs know about their hobbying would be at least a little concerned as well about what they may say in their sleep. Are there any other helpful hints regarding elimnating sleeptalking?

 

[cutterbuck]

I usually tell the "warden" that i'm going to the golf driving range. It's worked so far, touch wood.

 

[MakeIt]

I'm surprised nobody mentioned this problem. Those who don't talk in their sleep are lucky..

Carla

That's good advice I would have never considered but I suppose if you're predisposed to talking while you sleep you become aware of this problem. Interestingly, I've been told that I laugh in my sleep so it shouldn't be a problem...I think

 

[MakeIt]

I usually tell the "warden" that i'm going to the golf driving range. It's worked so far, touch wood.

Has you golf improved?