That's not even close to what I was saying. I have no recommendation and I never said tipping would ruin it for other clients. I only said that I understood it. if you want to be the White knight for the SP's go right ahead, don't drag me into your twisted analogy of what I actually said. Tip all that you want and be proud of wasting your money. Good for you.
What's a good tip?
- Thread starter MonkMcG
- Start date
My friend, I am saying this respectfully but a provider getting 250 for a 240 rate at the start of a session is not thinking you gave it to her as a tip. She is assuming you just didn't have change.
The tip comes at the END of the session, as a gesture of appreciation. It can certainly be given at the start, with the payment of her rate but in this case it shouldn't be tied to an expectation that "she will worker hard to make that extra $10".
Out of curiosity.. Exactly how much harder would $10 make you work for 1hr?
I'm not trying to be disrespectful, I'm genuinely being honest when I tell you that there are very few people for whom $10 will be a big motivation to "work harder".
That is less than 5% of her hourly rate. She's more likely to save that energy for another session than to tire herself out for $10.
If you want to give that tip, it should be at the end, so she knows it's a tip and it tells her you were happy with the session and her as well. That's what tips are for.
There is literally no chance that "everyone starts tipping" and equally no chance of "ruining it for everyone". Like, no chance. So it is not a reason for not tipping.
No one will think anything less of you not tipping, so you don't need to come up with reasons, justifications or excuses. Tbh it's just a bad take.
The standard "tips are never expected but always appreciated" (or something similar) many providers include on their website is true. It is not the norm to tip, so it's not an expectation. However, I can tell you from experience that it is why it's genuinely appreciated.
When someone, as they are getting ready to leave, tells you how much they enjoyed your company and with a big smile on their face, offers you whatever amount they are able to as a tip.
*Everyone* likes to feel that their work is appreciated.
How do you feel when you get your end of year bonus based on how well you performed at your job? Do employers ruin it by rewarding people whose work they appreciate?
I saw this a while back and thought it was pretty interesting.
( @Jay2574: Notice none of the tips are used to get something more or offered with expectations or strings attached)
So you start the session by telling them that if they give work hard enough, you have a big $10 tip for them?
I'm begging you to tell me I misunderstood. Because honestly, I would expect the opposite to happen if you start the session with this kind of attitude. She's most likely to be offended and turned off than motivated. I sure would be.
But I'm still hoping I misunderstood.
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I had a question mark at the end of saying you recommend no tipping, so thanks for answering you don't, even though you understand that it coud ruin it for everyone. I just offer a different opinion. No twisting no analogy, just reciting. No white knight here either, I dont tell anyone to tip, only express my experience, which hasn't been a waste of money at all, quite the contrary. And yes, thanks for noticing, It has been good for me - my whole point from the start.
Anyway I feel @Anna Bijou presents the most authoritative opinion on this that there is "no chance of ruining it for everyone" so I'll continue to go with that.
Cheers, DB
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I agree with everything @Anna Bijou said.
I really really cringed at that line tbh. "she will work hard to make that extra $10" sir that is between 2% and 3% of my rate depending on service. I tip all service people more than that. Am I happy to get a 10$ tip? Sure I am, when it's to thank me for good service, but not when it comes with the expectation that I'll tired myself out for it. I work pretty damn hard as it is, lol. As Anna said we could save the extra energy for another date instead. I'd rather not get a tip at all than get a tip "to work harder". I give my best already.
I really really cringed at that line tbh. "she will work hard to make that extra $10" sir that is between 2% and 3% of my rate depending on service. I tip all service people more than that. Am I happy to get a 10$ tip? Sure I am, when it's to thank me for good service, but not when it comes with the expectation that I'll tired myself out for it. I work pretty damn hard as it is, lol. As Anna said we could save the extra energy for another date instead. I'd rather not get a tip at all than get a tip "to work harder". I give my best already.
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Like Anna said the only time I ever gave $10 well actually it wasn’t $10 I gave my usual tip which I think is decent ( usually a gift card to a store I know she likes to shop at or Amazon) while not being way over the top, the additional $10 in the envelope was simply because I didn’t have the exact amount and I was too lazy to stop by a convenience store to buy a pack of gum or mints to get change. I never mentioned it but I am sure she knew it was because of that because to be honest I would not insult her with a $10 tip. It is much better to give nothing in my opinion than to give $10.
Like at a restaurant, it depends on how you liked the services provided. It could be 0$-50$-100$ I usually tip 50$ or 100$ for 1 hr session when it is good.
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Come on guys. Really? hahaha If you tip it's really nice and appreciated. There is nothing too complicated about that lol Personnally I tip any service provider I hire (esthetician, nail artist, hairdresser) because I know it's a shitty economy and I also know how it is to never be able to budget your month when you're self-employed. I'll never expect a tip but like... it's a nice thing to do? I have a really hard time understanding why every little thing should be calculated and mean something more haha
As someone relatively new to the hobby, I have always tipped regardless of the level of the service. Always generously. Many a time since, when the service was bad I cursed myself for leaving the tip, bit my tongue and moved on, knowing full well that I would not be seeing this provider again.
I have also given gifts but this is something that is very personalized and means that one should have already begun the process of getting to know the likes and dislikes of the SP. Indeed, it is something that I would be hesitant to give on a first session.
This is a great thread and has opened my eyes to this subject. I particularly find the perspective of the SPs to be enlightening and something that I would take to heart. It is also good to hear fellow Merbs and what their beliefs are in terms of tipping. I move forward with this newfound knowledge.
I have also given gifts but this is something that is very personalized and means that one should have already begun the process of getting to know the likes and dislikes of the SP. Indeed, it is something that I would be hesitant to give on a first session.
This is a great thread and has opened my eyes to this subject. I particularly find the perspective of the SPs to be enlightening and something that I would take to heart. It is also good to hear fellow Merbs and what their beliefs are in terms of tipping. I move forward with this newfound knowledge.
I think giving a tip to the above mentioned is called bribery.
I agree with your whole comment.
Assuming I am satisfied with the service (and I usually am), I like to tip around $50 or $60 depending upon what currency denominations I have.
No. I also don't tip independents since the entire fee is theirs. I only tip agency women.
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