When you start hating your job

[kira005]

I am sure you’ve met or will meet a service provider who just lacks energy, enthusiasm and just wants to rush you out of the door.

Being a sex worker is just like any other job and you can suffer from exhaustion/burnout.

The simple difference is that since you are an independent worker, you can’t just go on a wellness/medical leave.

Many providers just keep seeing clients because they don’t have a choice. I am writing this because, yes, I do read reviews when I’m off. (Usually during that week of the month). I can tell in some of those reviews that the person you’ve seen most likely doesn’t like her job anymore.

When I read things like “I’ve seen her a few times and her service has decreased in quality”, I know she is most likely just exhausted.

Some companions/masseuses just push their own limits by trying to see as many client as possible or by accepting things they wouldn’t normally do.


What would you do if you’ve noticed your ATF or a regular SP’s mood dramatically changed? Would you keep seeing her and hope she finds her mojo again?

I believe this is a very complicated matter and it would varies from client to client and from SP to SP.
Whether we like it or not this is a very demanding and DAMAGING job mid term and especially long term.
Exhaustion, burnout, depression...you name it, are all part of the equation. This is why you need friends ''REAL friends'' the ones that doesn't mind calling you out on your BS, the ones that will tell you the truth even if it's not something you wanna hear sometime. How about your family... brothers, sisters, father, mother...
A long time client with whom you have develop good chemistry and trust might be more empathetic, but at the end of the day, how nice could one be when they are charged 250$+/hr to fix your problems. If you guys somehow broke through the transaction barrier and are friends, by all means go grab a drink or a bite to have a nice conversation if both of your are comfortable...but wouldn't it make it weird to get back to client/SP relationship after?

This might sound harsh but independent workers or not; how you manage your time, money, well being and priorities are entirely up to you.
I don't really buy into the ''we don't have choice to keep seing clients'' you probably just have to re-evaluate your choices here.
There are people working at minimum wages out there while going to school and they can manage it... is it easy? most likely not... but the keys words are still ''priorities'' and ''choices''

I don't have an ATF or a regular SP at the moment but if somehow I meet an incredible SP with whom I connect on every level and she's going through a tough time... of course I will try to help.
But I understand very well that my help is limited. If she's comfortable and ONLY if she suggest it herself, we could spend some time off the book...but I'll be upfront with her that might change our relationship forever, I probably won't go back to be her client after that. It will just be too complicated and I don't think it's wise to spend money to complicate my life.

To finish this essay of mine... If the situation is reverse...your client(s) (really good ones) is/are going through a tough time and did or say something wrong... would you extend the same courtesy...?

 

[CLOUD 500]

I am sure you’ve met or will meet a service provider who just lacks energy, enthusiasm and just wants to rush you out of the door.

Happens all too often. Many strippers I meet these days seem so disinterested.

Being a sex worker is just like any other job and you can suffer from exhaustion/burnout.

True say. I guess it is a decision she has to make on whether she has to take a break?

The simple difference is that since you are an independent worker, you can’t just go on a wellness/medical leave.

True say but then again you can go on a vacation whenever you like. I cannot do that. I have certain vacations available and the job I do in a 24hr environment. I cannot just leave whenever I want. The team is small and if I go someone else has to do my shift. I wish I can take days off whenever I want and take a vacation whenever I want to. Even to take an unpaid vacation I would not be able to just leave since the team is so small, someone would have to do my shift and that would generate overtime which is an additional cost to the company.

Many providers just keep seeing clients because they don’t have a choice. I am writing this because, yes, I do read reviews when I’m off. (Usually during that week of the month). I can tell in some of those reviews that the person you’ve seen most likely doesn’t like her job anymore.

When I read things like “I’ve seen her a few times and her service has decreased in quality”, I know she is most likely just exhausted.

Some companions/masseuses just push their own limits by trying to see as many client as possible or by accepting things they wouldn’t normally do.


What would you do if you’ve noticed your ATF or a regular SP’s mood dramatically changed? Would you keep seeing her and hope she finds her mojo again?

So to answer your question, if my regular's mood changed drastically for the worse then it is my queue to move on to the next. So far the regulars I have seen it has been very good and keeps on getting better.

 

[LC18]

True say but then again you can go on a vacation whenever you like.

Yes and no. You don’t have to ask your boss (unless you work in an agency I guess) but it could represent a significant financial loss so most people don’t allow themselves to leave.

 

[CLOUD 500]

Yes and no. You don’t have to ask your boss (unless you work in an agency I guess) but it could represent a significant financial loss so most people don’t allow themselves to leave.

True say for financial loss. In my case even if I saved up the money to take that unpaid week off, I still could not go.

 

[FrankytheMobster]

Hey, it's refreshing to see someone addressing the well-being of service providers. If you notice your regular isn't herself lately, maybe express concern and offer support. Encouraging self-care is important. On a side note, you can find out Licensing and Certification Requirements in Washington for service providers might be insightful.

 

[Rebaynia]

I wouldn't say I am hating the job.
But do find ever since starting this job I have become more and more shut down. I used to be more adventurous, fun loveing, but things that used to excite me, I fear more than enjoy now. My adventurous spirit to explore sexual things has disappeared.
A large portion of things that happen behind closed doors take trust, and I so don't trust, that it has even affected my relationship and ability to relax and be comfortable there even. I don't want to do things in my own relationship, because i don't want to be in a position where clients might try to take advantage of the aftermath. I find more often then not i just want to hide from society and the whole world. I fear the exposure, and there are so many more nasty people than nice ones it makes being able to see new people difficult.

Honestly.. people on the other side may not see this job as equivalent to other means of work. But all other means of work are actually easier to deal with. And uplift you in your life, while this one has almost a direct correlation to tearing you down. Men think being paid to have sex is like a dream come true for them... it so isn't that way. The demands and expectations and absolute disregard we go threw as people by the very men who are turned on by us.
To give perspective... your a straight man, and have no desire to be penetrated yourself, but being asked 10 times a day by people who will even get pushy about asking because they want it, and constantly being asked if they can have their way with your a$$. No matter how many times you say your not into it, especially not with someone your not close to, and then still having them try to enforce their desires onto you. Slowly over time people like that take all the fun out of it. Oh and lets add then being disgraced and criticized because your not comfortable with just doing anything. How dare you have standards and limits. (And don't let him see this is how you are feeling, because they pay good money for their expierience and want to only see the happy side of things, that you are enjoying your time with him.)
I have my citizen job which has been bringing me back some life. But it still isn't enough to survive off of.

 

[LC18]

To give perspective... your a straight man, and have no desire to be penetrated yourself, but being asked 10 times a day by people who will even get pushy about asking because they want it, and constantly being asked if they can have their way with your a$$. No matter how many times you say your not into it, especially not with someone your not close to, and then still having them try to enforce their desires onto you.

That point!

So true, most straight men I mean even some gay men would never want to do greek even if they were paid and people just expect us to do that with just anyone. I’ve stopped offering this when I realized most men have no idea what they’re doing and I’m not going to get injured because of that. Most men just assume that it works like any other hole and that they can just shove themselves in it without any preparation. A few (but already too many) men believe that if she agreed for one hole, she probably agreed for the other one and don’t even ask before they try to find their way in.


That’s a tough job, you’re expected to turn someone down, be firm, state your boundaries and keep a smile on otherwise you might face negative reviews even though all you did was to say “no”.

 

[peachy]

This is a very interesting topic and obviously, there really is no single answer or one size fits all. Like almost everything in life, every individual has to find balance in their psyche and know when they have to take a break. Part of the biggest problem we all have is the ever increasing want and need for money. It's unavoidable because we obviously need to survive but sometimes I think we get a little too hung up on having "things" and feel we need excessive amounts of money to accomplish that need and sacrifice our own mental well-being in the process. We overdo our work schedules and try to do too much in the name of success and it just simply wears a person down to a state of exhaustion and burn-out.
For sex workers, this level of burn-out can be even more apparent just due to the intimacy and nature of their chosen profession. As has been mentioned, the services clients want can be very stressful and uncomfortable and some feel they have to provide these in order to continue to attract clientele. Partly due to review boards like this where one individual's experience can produce a negative effect on her business. This is not limited to sex work either but obviously, the one on one and intimate nature of the business is very different than other industries. As LC said, don't be afraid to say no in a polite manner if what the client is asking for is uncomfortable. Most of us good clients can read between the lines of certain "bad reviews".
As for me, if I meet and have a very good rapport with one of the women that I see on a somewhat regular basis, I am empathetic to her feelings and can usually get a good sense of how she is feeling. Without me getting too emotionally involved or prying into her life too much, I do try to adapt and show her some kindness and am not overly hung up on the "I'm paying all this money and I want what I want" thing. Yes, I am paying a tidy sum of money and yes, I'm a horny hound dawg but the money is disposable for me and my dick doesn't control my life. If I think my regular is really down in the dumps, so to speak, I would likely ask her if she would just like to go out for dinner or even just lay there and cuddle for awhile. If she wanted to talk about it, I would listen and offer a suggestion if she asked but I will never tell another person what they should or shouldn't do for their mental health. Only suggest (again, if asked) that maybe a vacation is in order or a possible re-think of where the priorities are and is there a better situation out there. As for continuing to see her, I would likely leave it up to her and how she feels about my company. Maybe she's not as into me as I think she might be or conversely, maybe she wants to spend more of her time with a client like me. I don't know and don't make assumptions.
One thing I will say for a fact on the matter is that if one is experiencing burn-out and exhaustion in their profession, they can't keep doing it and continue down that path as the old myth of "working your way through things" doesn't work and only makes matters worse. Again though, this has to be a case of looking inward and knowing one's self and being able to figure out what suits you best. And it will depend on one's personal situation as well. You may be in financial distress and think you have no choice but maybe there is a choice that you just don't see yet. At any rate, if anyone is going through this, I do hope they find someone to talk about it with and find a healthy solution. Don't let it cause a spiral into depths that are difficult to climb out of.