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Thread: Muffinbuffer's 2013 Trip Report, or "Return to Kamp Po-Ka-Ho"

  1. #1
    Registered User
    Join Date
    Nov 2007
    Right here, except when I'm elsewhere.

    Muffinbuffer's 2013 Trip Report, or "Return to Kamp Po-Ka-Ho"

    I`m just back from a 4 1/2-day trip to Montreal, during which I saw 17 escorts. Reviews will follow, but rather than repeatedly explain things in each of the reviews I prefer to make some general comments here and to specify some of the prejudices that will be reflected in my reviews. Feel free to offer feedback on the reviews themselves in the relevant threads. Please avoid private messages unless there really is some reason to keep something confidential.

    As usual, I had to make a significantly larger number of appointments than were kept. I made a total of 26 appointments to end up with the 17 girls I saw. That failure rate is one of the main reasons I can’t see this number of girls in this amount of time without a scheduling helper. It’s also why I start off anticipating the possibility of 4 appointments per day but have never achieved that for the majority of a trip. One girl actually canceled on me twice on two separate days. Perhaps her friends talked about me.

    Some agencies are much easier to deal with than others, especially when it comes to pre-booking. I`ve tended to rely upon the same group of agencies year after year based both on my general experience with their girls and on their customer service. I try to avoid booking a majority of my appointments with a single agency on any trip. Most of these agencies are now booking via text message, which is simply fantastic - no garbled cell signal, no ducking out of a meeting to take a call, no calling back to get something repeated. I love this and probably won`t book with agencies in the future unless they work by text message. This year, an agency on which I’ve relied in the past for pre-bookings seems not to be doing them at all, much to my disappointment. One that I’ve only used a little in the past now offers much more outcall and pre-booking and supplied many of my companions this trip.

    For those interested in details of arrangements, it’s necessary to develop a feel for which agencies have daytime girls or nighttime girls, when agencies tend to post their “who’s on” lists, and sometimes the idiosyncrasies of the bookers. Saturdays are crazy because typically so few girls work and demand is high, so it’s particularly important to book ahead for then. Cancellations on a Saturday are very hard to fill. I had a total of 3 cancellations for Saturday over the course of the week and was only able to fill 2 of them. One of the cancellations was very shortly before time and was a girl who’d canceled on Tuesday. By that time I could find nobody else. I preconfigure my laptop and phone for the trip with links to useful sites where I can find them easily. I also double-check that the contact info I have hasn’t changed (which it did for 2 agencies I use). If I’ll be with a girl when I need to be checking a site I’ll ask my wife to do it and see if she can find someone for that cancellation or whatever.

    As usual, my wife screened all of my proposed pre-bookings and made suggestions for whom else to see for what she called “your annual pussypalooza”. She referred to this as “finding counsellors for Kamp Kumalot” (which she previously dubbed “Kamp Po-Ka-Ho”). Her overall track record in this regard is superior to mine. She always seems to see things I don`t. The best ones are when she simply says "try her" or "yes" - those are typically great. We do this by email and text even when we’re in the same room because it’s simply impossible to remember dozens and dozens of possibilities, some of whom use the same names. That way I can refer back to what she said on the fly.

    Some of her catty comments this trip I thought people might enjoy:

    fine, if she would exhale
    public toilet selfies - euw!
    NO! Something about her creeps me out big time. shudder.
    that photo (her? her mom?) looks old
    a very sturdy gal
    too skinny - check out her huge elbows
    NO on red plaid heels with pink undies. Just NO, NEVER.

    On the positive side there was:

    her lingerie fits well, so I suspect she knows her body
    pasties! she wears them well
    try her. she makes that ugly chair look good.
    could be flexy.
    yes. this one.

    She was particularly helpful when my bookings fell through since she and I could simultaneously be looking at different sites. If a booker offered me a replacement I could text her the name and get her thoughts. I inadvertently outed myself to an agency this way, though, when I said I needed to run a booker’s suggestion by her.

    I`m not that interested in whether a girl swallows or not, but CIM surely is nice. I really don`t like negotiating prices, though, so if anything is an "extra" I usually decline.

    I`m usually a 2-shot guy... early in a trip. As the count increases, usually around girl 8-12, I tend to drop back to 1 shot per appointment unless there`s something special. If I have a very busy day (4 girls), I`ll usually try to pace myself. I`m really bad at pacing myself.

    Girls always seem surprised when they ask why I`m in Montreal and learn it`s entirely to see them. For some bizarre reason, many ask if I`m from Montreal, even though it`s obvious I`m a complete nitwit in French and for some reason am staying in a hotel.

    My wife takes pleasure in sending me off to Montreal to meet with escorts and reading my reports of my experiences but no longer hires them for herself and doesn’t often enjoy them along with me as she`s become more self-conscious with age. She has 2 rules: no kissing and no anal, which are for her alone. Anything else that I`d like is fair game. Thus, I can`t comment on DFK, LFK, or indeed any sort of kissing.

    When a girl specifies that she doesn`t do anal or if she offers me her ass I`ll include that in my review. Otherwise, it`s not something I even ask about. I`ve never once had a girl express disappointment that I won`t be asking for anal, and a number of girls who are listed as providing anal express relief and say they don`t like it.

    I get to eat all the pussy I want at home and almost never do so with escorts because I`m selfish, so DATY is not usually going to be anything I`ll know about.

    Repeating is not something I really do. For me, the entire point of this is variety. Since there`s nothing I enjoy doing that I can`t do at home, I`m always looking for something different. I`m one of those people who can rarely read the same book or watch the same film twice. Therefore, whether I "would repeat" or not is usually not something I even consider so don`t assume anything based on its absence in a review.

    I stayed at the Hotel Le Cantlie Suites. I was upgraded for free to a large suite with a living room and separate bedroom via membership in Expedia`s elite program (which isn`t hard to get into). This is a weird hotel - I’ve stayed a half-dozen times and none of the rooms have even resembled each other. This time, the washroom was smaller than many on sailboats or RV’s, while the nearly-empty living room could’ve served as a badminton court. The furnishings were generally appropriate for my purposes, including 2 beds (one for sleeping, the other for recreation) and a large “leather” couch. I think the housekeeper remembered me - she brought 6 extra sets of towels without being asked.

    Honestly, for the kind of trips I do, apart from the obvious issue of booking and juggling multiple appointments, the biggest issue by far is towels. For a 4-girl day, that’s 4 girl showers and 8-9 for me - I shower before each appointment and after (I’ve got all sorts of stuff on me after), and when I get up. That’s at least a dozen showers a day. I can reuse a towel, but not 8 times - it’s a sodden mess after two! Every time I leave the hotel (for lunch or whatever) I ask the front desk to have housekeeping refresh my towels. I hide a couple in the closet as insurance, and I’ve always ended up needing them.

    My prejudices include:

    - I speak several languages, but not French. Communication issues with francophones are common with me. This trip nearly every girl spoke great English.
    - I love slim, willowy girls. Ballerinas are my favorite body type.
    - I love tits. Love `em! All sizes. I always seem to end up most enjoying the tiniest and the most massive as opposed to mid-range.
    - I only like natural tits. I can`t stand fakes, nor can I be fooled by them.
    - The smaller the nipples and areolae, the better. The paler they are, the better as well.
    - Unlike Sir Mix-a-Lot, I don`t like big butts or big thighs.
    - I`m not a fan of tattoos.
    - I`m a big fan of piercings, especially nipple piercings.
    - Not a proponent of doggy in general (my view of the tits is obscured), so won`t usually be able to comment on how it was.
    - I prefer my balls and butt left alone, so can`t comment on BLS or rimming.
    - I don`t really care at all about digits. With a stranger it seems too much like a pelvic exam.
    - I`ll practically always request a facial, CIM, or COB, and in that order.
    - Although I enjoy being swallowed, it`s not important enough to me to request it or to pay extra.
    - My wife is eager to do all sorts of things that many escorts won`t do. As a result, I`m very picky about things such as blowjobs that might not be at all disappointing to the next guy.
    - To me, a blowjob is done with the mouth, not the hand. Constant switching back and forth annoys me, as does pausing right when things are about to happen.
    - My reviews are written primarily for my wife, then edited to remove stuff nobody else would be interested in or that provide personal detail. Sorry if they`re too graphic or insufficiently so, or if they omit data someone finds vital.

    In summary, my reviews are unlikely to include anything about any form of kissing, DATY, BLS, rimming, digits, or Greek. If it`s not in the review, asking me won`t do any good at all, so don`t waste PM`s about those questions. If my review does not list facials or CIM, it`s unlikely that this is a routine service for that girl.

    Total damage $3,140. Here are the reviews in the order of when I saw each girl:

    Helena of Eleganza:
    Porchya of Eleganza:
    Sophie of GoodGirls:
    Gabrielle of Satin Dreamz:
    Allyson of Montreal Sex City*:
    Mary of MTL GFE:
    Tanya of GoodGirls:
    Mary of Montreal Sex City*:
    Malicya of Eleganza:
    October Night of Sexy Indies:
    Raven of Eleganza:
    Hannah of GoodGirls:
    Megan of GoodGirls:
    Cynthia of Angel Escorts:
    Gabriela of Eleganza:
    Penelope of GoodGirls:
    Charlie of MTL GFE:

    *also known as Backstage Divas

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Apr 2012
    on the border
    Year after year, simply and truly amazing. I hope you are really a person and not some sort of Nicolas Bourbaki of hobbying... Thank you sir for sharing it with us.

  3. #3
    ebonylover fully booked pat98's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2010
    Quote Originally Posted by easyguy View Post
    some sort of Nicolas Bourbaki of hobbying...
    had to check about Nicolas Bourkaki ...
    ... Nicolas Bourbaki is the collective pseudonym under which a group of (mainly French) 20th-century mathematicians wrote a series of books presenting an exposition of modern advanced mathematics ... While there is no Nicolas Bourbaki, the Bourbaki group, officially known as the Association des collaborateurs de Nicolas Bourbaki (Association of Collaborators of Nicolas Bourbaki), has an office at the École Normale Supérieure in Paris...

    Woah ... French? in Paris really? I guess my maths professors were not at ease with a "collective" group disguised under one name.

    Anyway I disgress! lol

    Agree there about towels, some place are so cheap providing only 2 and of very poor quality meaning that after only one shower it's not useable anymore until it dries.
    Next time, you should rent some appartment hotel! Dryer/Washer are included or just make a stop at Déco-Découvertes or LinenChest before going to your hotel there you can find 5$ good quality towels!

    Thanks for sharing, very informative as always!
    Last edited by pat98; 10-28-2013 at 06:43 AM. Reason: added & Déco-Découvertes or LinenChest :-)

  4. #4
    Registered User
    Join Date
    Jan 2004
    The Da of the Dasein
    Quote Originally Posted by pat98 View Post
    Bourbaki...Woah ... French? in Paris really? I guess my maths professors were not at ease with a "collective" group disguised under one name.

    Anyway I disgress! lol
    Besides Bourbaki, there was also the so-called Oulipo group.

    Digressing on a digression doesn't make a straitghforwand and up to the point comment...sorry, I know....
    ἄνθρωπος μέτρον
    Man is the measure of all things

    Sexo sin pecado es como huevo sin sal (Le sexe sans péché est comme un œuf sans sel/Sex without sin is like an egg without salt) [Carlos Fuentes]

  5. #5
    That's amazing unbiased reviews of sooooooo many girls.

    You have an incredible sex drive and are a lucky man to have a wife that pleases you as she does and also allows and assists in these adventures.

  6. #6
    Registered User
    Join Date
    Jun 2003
    Great reviews muffinbuffer, 1 yrs worth of SPs in 4 1/2 days and your wife helped you out.

    You take hobbying to the next level.
    "Just When I Thought I Was Out.....They Pull Me Back In!!!"

  7. #7
    I don't know how you do it ??

    Great reports

    Best Regards

    Savoir Faire Is Everywhere !!!

    Trying one day to be " In the Know "

  8. #8
    a.k.a. NewestGuy
    Join Date
    Aug 2013
    I knew the reads would be good after seeing your first "premature" update, but what the others have said is bang on, you sir know how to tell a tale. Very entertaining and educational and makes my desire to take up writing come to the fore.

    It's too bad others can't convey the good, the bad and the ugly as you do, it really does speak volumes without the bad being an attack or the good seeming to be provided by a shill. I look forward to reading about your sexcapades next year if I'm still around!

    Thanks for all the effort put in to writing all this up.
    Tell me and I forget, teach me and I may remember, involve me and I learn.

  9. #9
    Lily from Montreal
    As always,very entertaining reading material...kisses your wife for me Muffinbuffer...

  10. #10
    so do you eat anything special during these trips to help keep the ying up and reload so frequently?

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