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Thread: A rant about my girl

  1. #1

    A rant about my girl

    Well, my current relationship is on the blink of a total meltdown. After the Love fades, I realized that there are so many things I really dislike about her. I tried so hard to understand why she act/think like that, but evidently I failed. I ask you, ladies and gentlemen of the board, do you guys suffer as much as I do?

    The thing that pisses me off the most is also the most common among girls I dated (and maybe all women, I dare not say): Subtle Mind Games.

    She LOVES to get mad for apparently no reason at all and make me spend days (sometimes freaking weeks) to figure it out.

    Once I was hanging out with her and her two female friends. One of them happens to be funny, and I never noticed that before. So, being the nice guy that I am, I complimented her. The reason I said it was to be nice to her friends, since they are HER friends. Well, things went downhill from that point on that day. I am extremely sensitive to how her acts, so I noticed that she was mad at me. When I noticed that, it was already like 2 hours later. (Her mood changes often, so I can't really tell unless she's been like that for a long period of time)

    Well, I knew she was mad, but I had no idea why or when it started. I tried all my usual moves: compliments, light kisses, play with her hair, ask her how she feels, joke with her, buys her chocolate... so forth so forth... Nothing.

    Ok, around 12 that night, we were talking about something and she said something about some stupid stuff that I did a long time ago. I said "Come on, that's not funny." We love to tease each other like that. But that time she reacted very differently and telltale signs appear on her face. She said "Well, I am sorry I am not funny like blah blah blah is."

    OMFG, I thought to myself. THAT'S what it was... Then I told her, I said it to make her friend happy so she would be happy as well... I also told her how fun she was, how she's so funny all the time, it's not worth mentioning... blah blah... Then she was fine and happy.

    However, I wasn't. I spend the whole freaking day trying to cheer her up, I asked her what's wrong more than two dozen times. I told her, I really have no idea what happened, PLEASE tell me. I freaking almost begged her. All then she's all happy and better because I finally figured it out.

    What kind of a sick mind is this? WE ARE NOT PSYCHICS... I don't care how smart of sensitive a guy is, he can't always read your mind!!! I wanted to say that to her face. But that's gonna cost me later down the road, so I swallowed it. We swallow too, damn it !!!

    That's also only ONE of the things I dislike about her...

  2. #2

    Other things...

    She thinks she's the center of the freaking universe. She think that I need to spend every waking moment with her. I COULD, hell I even want to... But by God, I do NOT HAVE TO be like that. She can be so draining... If she knew I uses SP's services, she would probably commit some kind of murder suicide.

    She's also extremely sexist. She always say things like "Oh, it's because I am a girl." YES. I noticed that. I am not gay, there is a reason I am dating you. I know what you are. Being a girl does not mean I have to travel freaking 1 hour to see you everyday for like 15 minutes between our breaks.

    She's also got some kind of priority problems. She believe it's the most freaking important thing for her to FEEL GOOD all the time. She's such a baby, that she NEEDS to feel GOOD all the time. Ok, I like to please her, I do. But I don't want to have to throw everything else down, come home and comfort her because she read a sad story in one of her magazins every week.

    Last but not least... she whines and complains ALL THE TIME. Guess what? She doesn't even want or care about solutions. She just loves to whine. You want to tell me that you are stressed and sad? Great, now I know, I feel for you. You want my help in something? Fine, let's get it done. You want a solution? Ask for one. Don't just complain. I don't have a magic wand to change the freaking world or to make things better. She love to ask question like "Why is like that? Why do people do that?" Not matter what I answer, she always ask again "But that's so mean/wrong, why is it like this?" If you got a problem, do something about it. Sitting there wondering why when there is no real reason is DUMB.

    I feel so much better after spilling my guts. Last night I was watching "Beauty and the Geek" with her. I see how STUPID some of those people are (both the beauties and the geeks). None of them are all very smart. BUT the guys feel ashamed when they can't answer a question or didn't know something that regular people should. THE GIRLS DON'T. They say things like "Psst, why would I know that? Like, I don't even know this..." and then it's always followed by gigles and laughter. It's almost like they are proud to be ignorant? Is ignorant some weird way of saying "I am hot?" in the their world?

    I don't know if you guys noticed this, last night the girls were asked to install a computer. (plug in wire and press the "on" button) Some girls didn't know if they need to connect the monitor??? What??? One of the stupidest thing was that one girl didn't know where a purplr square plug goes in the back of a computer... The geek she was pair with was like "how the hell can someone not know the PURPLE SQUARE plug goes with the PURPLE SQUARE hole in the back? Is this NOT common knowledge?"

    Althought my girl wasn't stupid and she never did any of that crap, and she knows how to hook up a computer. But still I can't help but notice that girls and guys think REALLY ^ 5000 differently.

  3. #3
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    Told her it's over.

  4. #4
    2-2 in bans... loser...
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    Quote Originally Posted by Man911
    Told her it's over.
    WHy would ANOTHER user name tell John_Cage's gf that it is over? Multiple posts?


  5. #5
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    One tip

    John_Cage

    One tip,

    Get out of this "relationship"

    Get out NOW !!!

    I feel for you, my ex was manic depressive, draining you said, you have no idea. I do not wish this on anyone.

    The five "F"'s way of life of Oliver is sounds advice also

    Finally, did I mention......



    Get out NOW

    Do it for pleasure, do it for exaltation, do it
    Justforfun

  6. #6
    Working rage-aholic
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    just noticing???

    Quote Originally Posted by John_Cage
    She thinks she's the center of the freaking universe. She think that I need to spend every waking moment with her. I COULD, hell I even want to... But by God, I do NOT HAVE TO be like that. She can be so draining... If she knew I uses SP's services, she would probably commit some kind of murder suicide.

    She's also extremely sexist. She always say things like "Oh, it's because I am a girl." YES. I noticed that. I am not gay, there is a reason I am dating you. I know what you are. Being a girl does not mean I have to travel freaking 1 hour to see you everyday for like 15 minutes between our breaks.

    She's also got some kind of priority problems. She believe it's the most freaking important thing for her to FEEL GOOD all the time. She's such a baby, that she NEEDS to feel GOOD all the time. Ok, I like to please her, I do. But I don't want to have to throw everything else down, come home and comfort her because she read a sad story in one of her magazins every week.

    Last but not least... she whines and complains ALL THE TIME. Guess what? She doesn't even want or care about solutions. She just loves to whine. You want to tell me that you are stressed and sad? Great, now I know, I feel for you. You want my help in something? Fine, let's get it done. You want a solution? Ask for one. Don't just complain. I don't have a magic wand to change the freaking world or to make things better. She love to ask question like "Why is like that? Why do people do that?" Not matter what I answer, she always ask again "But that's so mean/wrong, why is it like this?" If you got a problem, do something about it. Sitting there wondering why when there is no real reason is DUMB.

    I feel so much better after spilling my guts. Last night I was watching "Beauty and the Geek" with her. I see how STUPID some of those people are (both the beauties and the geeks). None of them are all very smart. BUT the guys feel ashamed when they can't answer a question or didn't know something that regular people should. THE GIRLS DON'T. They say things like "Psst, why would I know that? Like, I don't even know this..." and then it's always followed by gigles and laughter. It's almost like they are proud to be ignorant? Is ignorant some weird way of saying "I am hot?" in the their world?

    I don't know if you guys noticed this, last night the girls were asked to install a computer. (plug in wire and press the "on" button) Some girls didn't know if they need to connect the monitor??? What??? One of the stupidest thing was that one girl didn't know where a purplr square plug goes in the back of a computer... The geek she was pair with was like "how the hell can someone not know the PURPLE SQUARE plug goes with the PURPLE SQUARE hole in the back? Is this NOT common knowledge?"

    Althought my girl wasn't stupid and she never did any of that crap, and she knows how to hook up a computer. But still I can't help but notice that girls and guys think REALLY ^ 5000 differently.

    Guys and women think differently-yeah, I'd say so. First of all, the reason she whines is that women don't really want solutions. As a man, this is very difficult to understand. My so finally clued me in one day when she came out and said it.
    When I'm upset, I WANT a solution. Women just want someone to listen. I don't understand it, but it's so.
    More importantly, Oliver has a good point. Men aren't built for monogamy. When did this become the accepted norm? Monogamy is an outdated model of relationships from a different time.
    Women look at one man and expect everything from him. It's a burden. Men look at many women and seek one, or at most a couple of qualities from each. I think our way is better.

    Hell, if I can understand that women just want someone to listen, why can't women understand what we want?

  7. #7
    proud infidel
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    Personally, I've never liked mind games. In my experience, Asian girls tend to be more secretive than Canadians. If you can't resolve the problem using friendly confrontation and honest communication, then I think you two might not be meant for each other . Good luck.

    fml

  8. #8
    Working rage-aholic
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    follow up

    About that last post--if you think it was sarcasm--it wasn't.
    And yeah, I don't know you or your gf, but I think you should get out.

    I am not a misogynist, hell if anything I hate men and love women. But...I do believe that we are seeing a fundamental change: from a "man's world" to a woman's world," atleast in America. There are more women in college in America today than men, and in public schools boys are falling far behind girls. Women under 40 are several times more likely than men to become top executives at major corporations. There are a lot of similar studies out there, but you get the idea...
    Why is this? I think women are killing us. Seriously. Not intentionally, or anything, but in my marriage, as time has gone on, I have given more and more to my wife (in terms of time, emotion and commitment, not $) and the more I do, the worse I feel.
    When I look at couples who have been married a lot longer than I have, I notice a pattern--the longer the marriage, the more the balance of power tilts in her favor. And don't kid yourself--there is a balance of power in every relationship.
    Love and attraction trap a man into a monogamous relationship that is totally unnatural for us.

    Bottom line, if you're already questioning these things, be honest with yourself-it's not going to get better.

  9. #9
    the guy w/soft hands..
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    Quote Originally Posted by btyger
    Guys and women think differently-yeah, I'd say so. First of all, the reason she whines is that women don't really want solutions. As a man, this is very difficult to understand. My so finally clued me in one day when she came out and said it.
    I see someone has been reading "Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus"

    Quote Originally Posted by btyger
    When I'm upset, I WANT a solution. Women just want someone to listen. I don't understand it, but it's so.
    The book goes on to tell you that both of us are wired differently, women just talk/whine about their problems and want men to listen. However, men tend to offer solutions to problems that women get pissed at since they want to listen only.

    Agreeing with John_Cage, women expect us to read their minds... many times I had told my Ex that we "men" aren't psychics if want something tell us, don't dick around playing little games making us guess what you want and be pissed off at the end when it wasn't something you expected.

    [quote=femaleluver2]Personally, I've never liked mind games. In my experience, Asian girls tend to be more secretive than Canadians.[quote=femaleluver2]

    Not really, it depends on their upbringing. My Ex is asian and hell no... she wasn't secretive unless she was holding out on more stuff than she already told me which was plenty.

    Quote Originally Posted by btyger
    Hell, if I can understand that women just want someone to listen, why can't women understand what we want?
    IMO. Because it's all about them and who cares about you unless something earthshattering happens to you then and only then will they understand you. At least that's what happened in my case.

    DeVries

  10. #10

    To John Cage

    Its all about empowerment. She has you running scared trying to figure out what is wrong and you wind up begging pleading apologizing for nothing etc.
    She feeds off of this Oprah-esque / Entertainment Tonight bullshit attitude.

    Tell her that growing older doesn't necessarily qualify her as an adult and that when she has grown up a bit to call you. Tell her to get over it and ignore her and her childish antics.

    Stick to your guns.

  11. #11
    To each his own. I can't agree with this approach. I'll jump into the fire by stating that if men were the ones to give birth instead of women, the human race would have ceased to exist a long time ago.

    What these articles suggest is that marriage is tough - that's not surprising since the main goal is to have and raise children. (I have no idea why people who don't want children get married - now that's pointless). By the time most people finish raising them, they're well past prime time for meeting someone else and raising a new family. SO yeah, she's not likely to look like the prom queen at 40 after 2+ kids. But guess what - you don't look like Brad Pitt!

  12. #12
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    Quote Originally Posted by MakeIt
    I have no idea why people who don't want children get married - now that's pointless).
    Hi MakeIt. Nice post. Pretty incisive, but a lot of it sounds true. I particularly agree with your above statement.

    fml

  13. #13
    Thanks Femaluvr2. I supposed it seems obvious that this comes from personal experience - the being married part that is. I didn't want to suggest that anybody getting married and not having kids were crazy. However, today, it seems like the only reason to bother going through this execise. Having said that, when women (or men) reproductive instincts kick in, the other person better be ready to follow. I think pretty much everything that happens in a relationship is related to having or not having kids. For example;

    We get laid to have kids.
    We fall in love to get laid.
    Once we have kids, we don't laid.
    We look for extracurricular companions to get laid again.

    Now who knows but maybe John Cage's lady friend is having a hormonal hurricane trying to figure if she wants to have kids and then not likely have much sex for the rest of her life. Tough choice.

  14. #14

    Wow...

    Wow, I swear I thought I was the only experiencing this horrific torture before I read the responses. Thanks, man. It helps to know that this is life and eveyone goes through bullshit like that. It's helping me feel better and stronger, for sure.
    To think that I was doing so well in McGill before all this bullshit happened, my last year was so bad, my marks suffered. Women are like vampires, they drain you dry... In more ways than one too.

    Anyways, I haven't talked to her since I posted this rant. Now her 'girlfriends' are all talking to me trying to find where I stand in this. I hope this 'stand tall' and 'stick to your guns' thing works, because wasting 3 years of my life (in my prime too) is NOT what I had in mind.

    This is very much the reason guys need SPs, it's like this emotional balance thing that we seek. TAKE THAT OPRAH !!!

  15. #15
    Quote Originally Posted by John_Cage
    To think that I was doing so well in McGill before all this bullshit happened, my last year was so bad, my marks suffered. Women are like vampires, they drain you dry... In more ways than one too.
    John_Cage,

    I read your rant but let me tell you no woman is worth your marks and your future. I wish I had the maturity that I have now back when I was in university and falling in love with beautiful hotties in the liberal arts with really screwed up minds. I was always attracted to basket cases; the more screwed up they were, the more interested I was. It was part of my then masochistic tendencies. But if I could have given myself some advice back then, I would just have reminded myself that life is soooooo long and you shouldn't worry if one woman does not like you. Move on, have confidence in yourself and never let anyone put you down or play stupid mind games with you. Trust me, you'll meet a lot of women in the next decade. I wish I could go back to my university years, knowing what I know now - they were the best time of my life!

    Finally, remember this - all women have one weapon that they use very effectively on men: the power of guilt. This is a powerful weapon that they have mastered; it's in their genes. This is why I think they are a superior species relative to us men who are slaves to our gonads!

    GG
    Last edited by General Gonad; 02-02-2006 at 09:37 AM.

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