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Thread: Funny things that happen in an encounter...

  1. #1

    Talking Funny things that happen in an encounter...

    Alright let's shift into some light-hearted humor. What are some of the funnier things that happened to you in an encounter? In my recent encounter with Laika, something funny happened (no, not when I got limp in the doggie position ).

    We just got in the jaccuzzi, relaxing, when all of a sudden the phone rings. She was kind enough to get up and see who it was. I thought it was the agency but it was the front desk of the motel telling me to move my car or else they'll tow it away!

    I hop out of the tub, full of foam, put on my pants and slap on my coat with no shirt and no socks. I moved that car so fast because a) I was really horny and b) it was freezing cold!


  2. #2
    Mired in the red dust.
    Join Date
    Apr 2005
    A few years back, I had this Chinese SP come to my house. It turned out that she had the emotional depth of a twinkee, so it was without much enthusiasm that I managed to get her into the doggy position. While I pounded away she occupied herself by making a long cellphone call in which she berated her poor boyfriend for not spending enough time with her. For fun, I tried targeting my thrusts so that she would yelp and give herself away, but no dice. Her vagina seemed about as sensitive as her brain.

  3. #3
    Once, when I was just about to reach SOG, there was a citywide power outage and the hotel lost power. All the lights and appliances in the room went out.

    Farts are the worst. Sometimes, I wonder if there is an affect on the digestive system by the sexual system.

  4. #4
    I am me, too!
    Join Date
    Mar 2004
    If only I knew...
    I had an old grandma (she'd be over 100yo now) who tought orgasm was whe she farted while laying on her back and doing "her marital duty" to make kids. And she was good at doing her duty! 15 kids total!

  5. #5
    Gentleman Horndog
    Join Date
    Jun 2003
    A few years ago, I had an escort come to my hotel room in Thunder Bay, Ontario.

    As soon as I closed the door, she looked me up and down several times. She then leaned forward, and asked me, "Do you have a big dick?" I was kind of taken aback, and I replied something like, "You can be the judge of that soon".

    A few minutes later, we were naked on the bed, fooling around. She had my dick in her hand, and she examined it closely. She then made a comme-ci, comme-ça gesture with her hand and said, "Average."
    May your genitalia never fail ya.

  6. #6
    proud infidel
    Join Date
    Sep 2004
    from the civilized world
    Quote Originally Posted by bond_james_bond
    Once, when I was just about to reach SOG, there was a citywide power outage and the hotel lost power. All the lights and appliances in the room went out.

    Farts are the worst. Sometimes, I wonder if there is an affect on the digestive system by the sexual system.
    Once, I was in such a hurry after a ''date'' at Chablis that I left my briefs inside a dresser drawer...

  7. #7
    Quote Originally Posted by bond_james_bond
    Farts are the worst. Sometimes, I wonder if there is an affect on the digestive system by the sexual system.
    LOL, it has happened to me where I ate something, rushed to an encounter, and was holding my gas back while getting a BJ. I often visualize about how they would react if I farted while getting a BJ! I am a sick bastard!!!


    P.S. Then again, how would I react if they farted while I dined on them?

  8. #8

    Is there a plumber in the house?

    About 3 years ago, I was again, in the process of re-inventing myself, this time as a general contractor. Working on a home just off the Jersey Turnpike, I decided to check in with M.L. to see who might be working in the Meadowland’s. M.L. had never steered me wrong and I decided to roll her recommendation. Adrianna, was a petite and beautiful blond, but of course she was, she was visiting from Montreal.

    Up to the room, knock-knock…… yes, she was amazing! I enter, place the gift on the dresser and was greeted with a sloppy wet kiss,…..this was gonna be great! I excused myself and went off to the shower. Just as I was lathering up, Adrianna asked if she could join me,……hot damn, but of course you may! The toilet seat went up, she took a leak, fumbled around a bit, the curtain opened stage left and there stood this perfect naked woman with her hair up. She had one leg with partial torso in the shower, that’s when I noticed she was still wearing her watch.

    She removed the watch along with a ring, which I had not noticed. As she attempted to reach across and place the items on the tank lid, you guessed it, both the watch and the ring fell right into the shitter.

    Panic!,……extreme panic set in. Adriana was literally in tears. Outta the shower, covered in suds with immediate deflation of my manhood, I reached into the toilet and managed to rescue the watch, which was not totally consumed by the bowl. The ring was nowhere to be found. She called down to the desk and was told the maintenance engineer was not in the building and would not be until the next morning, as my attempts with the bent hanger failed.

    Down to my truck, I grabbed my leather tote bag, wrenches, pliers and a hammer?,…….. that’s it, I’d smash the fucker,...not!………Teflon tape,……a seal?,….Shit!....No wax seal,…. Back to the room with my bag, I consoled Adrianna, assured her all will be fine,…….back to the truck for a trip to the hardware store, Home Depot, anywhere,…….for a $2.00 bees wax toilet ring.

    Back in the room, I disconnected the supply line, unbolted the toilet and off with the bowl,……carefully. We placed a towel in the shower making sure to cover the drain. I turned the bowl upside down,… shake, shake, shake and out dropped the ring,…….I was a hero as visions of multiples danced in my head.

    I put the seal in-place and Adrianna asked what she could do to help. I planted her on the toilet seat to compress the ring as I moved from left to right, tightening the hold-down bolts a little at a time. This was actually great, as Adrianna was wearing just a bathrobe and each time I moved from side to side, I viewed her marvelous shaved clam. We have wood!,……..Houston, we have wood! My mind was racing wildly,…..another ten minutes and,………..

    A knock at the door. It’s Adrianna’s next appointment and in walked the John. I continued in my roll as mister-fix-it and heard Adrianna tell the next participant that I’d be done momentarily. I hooked-up the cold water supply and test drove the set-up for function and leaks,…. everything’s worked fine. Still in plumber mode, I apologized for the inconvenience as Adrianna excused herself and walked me out the door.

    Another big sloppy kiss, with promises of making it up to me, but not to tell M.L. what had happened. I obliged and as everyone knows, it never worked out. I did have a conversation with Adrianna around dinner time. She wanted me to come back to the hotel after her last appointment, which was at 11:00pm. I suggested the following morning would be better, but she was checking out in the morning, as she had already been visiting for four days and was heading back home. FUCK!!!!!

    So, I was out 300 and change, extremely disappointed, horny as fuck and shit-outta-luck. A week or so later I checked in with M.L. to see if, when Adrianna might be visiting again. She was not sure but asked how my session went. I had always followed-up, this time I did not, and she asked if everything was ok? She knew something was up.

    Reluctantly, I told her the story to which she responded with silence,………after about a ten-second pause,….she burst out laughing. She expressed her thanks for helping out and said she would make it up to me on my next visit.

    The short,…she did not give me a free return trip but did give me a 2-hour visit for the price of one. No, it was not the best deal but what the hell,……

    Unfortunately, Adrianna never did return and although my next visit was great with a different GFE honey, I was really counting on seeing Adrianna again.

    To this day, I wonder if she remains working in Montreal?

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