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Thread: Trip report and general musings

  1. #1
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    Trip report and general musings

    I`m recently back from a 4-day trip to Montreal, during which I saw 13 escorts. Reviews will follow, but rather than explain some things in each of the reviews I thought it might be more useful to make some general comments here and to specify some of the prejudices that will color my reviews. I was a bit tired when I got home on Sunday and had some work to catch up on, hence the delay in reviews. Feel free to offer constructive feedback on the reviews themselves.

    The trip was for the specific purpose of seeing escorts, but at the time I left my office mid-day Wednesday I had only pre-booked 4 appointments. I do understand why it`s difficult for agencies to offer this, but I would dearly love to have had everything arranged before I arrived.

    It can be very challenging to arrange multiple appointments per day with escorts given different schedules at different agencies as well as the need to allow sufficient time to recharge between appointments. Saturdays are particularly frustrating since, counterintuitively, that is a night with relatively few escorts working. Some agencies are closed.

    My task was made vastly easier by my Coochie Concierge (R). My wife (once LOM here, but long since run off the board) is truly a Ho Whisperer - she`s able to look at photos on websites and see things that I`d never notice in a million years. When she notices runs in stockings or chipped nail polish she`ll say "She`s sloppy and careless and won`t take good care of you." Other times she`ll say that a girl seems particularly comfortable with her body, poses well, or looks flexible. "Get her. You`ll have fun." She can be brutal about thighs or tummies. She`s almost always right. Of course, she knows my preferences thoroughly, but it`s more than that. She`s got an almost-magical ability to set me up with escorts that I love spending time with.

    The Coochie Concierge part is nearly as useful. While I shopped or ate or whatever (or in a couple of cases while I was enjoying an appointment), LOM would have a look at the websites to see who was available then text me her recommendations about whom I should schedule. Without this help I doubt I would have been able to schedule as many great girls as I did. LOM also has a woman`s practical perspective that I lack. In one of my emails to her last year I commented on how very talkative a girl was between rounds. Her response was "Sweetie, you pay those girls to work. Just tell her it`s time to go down on you again and that`ll solve several problems at once." She also wanted me to collect some data from the girls (Shave, wax, or laser? Where do they shop for stockings and bras?) Let me tell you, it typically freaks escorts completely out when I tell them my wife picked them for me then quiz them about stuff like that.

    Some agencies are much easier to deal with than others, especially when it comes to pre-booking. Overall, I`ve tended to use the same group of agencies year after year based both on my general experience with their girls and on their customer service. I tried a couple of new ones this year and skipped a couple of old ones. All the ones I use are advertisers here.

    LOM takes kinky glee in sending me off to Montreal to meet with escorts and in reading my emailed reports of my experiences. She has 2 rules: no kissing and no anal. Those are for her alone. Anything else that I`d like is fair game. Thus, I can`t comment on DFK, LFK, or indeed any sort of FK. When a girl specified that she doesn`t do anal or if she offered me her ass I`ll include that in my review. Otherwise, it`s not something I ever ask about.

    I stayed this time at the le Cantlie Suites Hotel, primarily because of a great price on Expedia (under $90/night). The location was unbeatable for my purposes - near the Peel metro and Ste. Catherine as well as several of my favorite restaurants. The room had a tiny kitchenette in a closet (with a non-functioning fridge) and a microwave. The beds and linens were surprisingly nice for the price. I got 2 queen beds, since that lets me reserve one for sleeping and use one for recreation. There was a mirrored closet door that allowed a nice view of what was going on near the foot of the recreational bed. The room was nicely lit for my purposes, had a big chair near one bed that was a nice place to watch some stripping or other things, and was reasonably quiet.

    My prejudices include:

    - I speak several languages, but not French.
    - I like natural tits. I hate fakes.
    - I love slim, willowy girls. Ballerinas are my favorite body type.
    - I love tits. Love `em. All sizes. I always seem to end up most enjoying the tiniest and the most massive as opposed to mid-range, though.
    - The smaller the nipples and areolae, the better. The paler they are, the better as well.
    - I`m not a fan of tattoos.
    - I`m a huge fan of piercings, especially nipple piercings.
    - I hate coming in condoms. I prefer faces, then mouths, then tits.
    - Not a fan of doggy at all, so won`t usually be able to comment on how it was.
    - I prefer my balls and butt left alone, so can`t comment on BLS or rimming.
    - I enjoy DATY with my wife, but with escorts I`m a selfish hedonistic pig so rarely do this.
    - My reviews are written primarily for my wife, then edited to remove stuff nobody else would be interested in. Sorry if they`re too graphic or whatever.
    - My wife`s a freak who`s ready to do all sorts of things that most escorts won`t. As a result, I`m very picky about things such as blowjobs that might not be at all disappointing to the next guy.

    Here are the reviews in the order of when I saw each girl:
    Heidi of Eleganza https://merb.cc/vbulletin/showthread...l=1#post505952
    Paris of Eleganza https://merb.cc/vbulletin/showthread...l=1#post505953
    Rachel of Devilish https://merb.cc/vbulletin/showthread...l=1#post505969
    Jazz of Eleganza https://merb.cc/vbulletin/showthread...l=1#post505960
    Lexi of Angels Escorts https://merb.cc/vbulletin/showthread...l=1#post505961
    Summer of Girls on Fire https://merb.cc/vbulletin/showthread...l=1#post505962
    Leah of Eleganza https://merb.cc/vbulletin/showthread...l=1#post505958
    Mandy of Girls on Fire https://merb.cc/vbulletin/showthread...l=1#post505963
    Nadia of XXXtase https://merb.cc/vbulletin/showthread...l=1#post505965
    Elena of Devilish https://merb.cc/vbulletin/showthread...l=1#post505966
    Caresse of Chloe`s/Candy Shop https://merb.cc/vbulletin/showthread...l=1#post505967
    Maritsa of Queens of Spades https://merb.cc/vbulletin/showthread...l=1#post505968
    Last edited by Mod 8; 07-10-2013 at 02:25 AM. Reason: Added DATY info

  2. #2
    Jesus Christ Muffinbuster...This was an amusing read...but no kissing? 13? How long were you there? You need to work this out with the wife. I love to deep french kiss while I fertilize the womb in the missionary position.

    thanks for the great read

  3. #3
    Veteran of Misadventures
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    Muffinbuffer,

    Thanks for the reviews and trip report. I think your inclusion of your "prejudices" is extremely helpful and more hobbyists should do this when posting reviews. I must admit that I was amused by your repeated insistence that your "balls be left alone." I do not mind BLS, personally. However it was a very good and informative read as were all of your reviews.
    Last edited by EagerBeaver; 11-06-2010 at 12:40 PM.

  4. #4
    Well done and informative.
    Please forward our thanks to your wife .

  5. #5
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    Quote Originally Posted by hungry101 View Post
    but no kissing? 13? How long were you there? You need to work this out with the wife.
    Nope. No kissing. I get plenty of that at home and don't miss it when out playing. A large number of girls smoke, which is a major turn-off for me. Besides, I know what else I'm planning to do with that mouth very soon.

    No need to work anything out with my wife. For goodness' sake - she selects escorts for me, helps me work out schedule issues, and encourages me to have the maximum fun available! Most wives would hand me my balls while driving off in my car if they caught me doing this. Mine loads up my car with bottled water and wine for the girls while I'm finishing up work the morning I leave. The least I can do is follow her extremely short list of rules.

    I arrived last Wednesday around 5PM and left Sunday morning. In retrospect, my last day was badly scheduled with 4 appointments crammed into 9 hours. I won't be doing that again. I'd originally planned for 10 or so girls over the trip. Two were definitely last-minute add-ons (my first and last nights) and probably would have been disappointments out of the context of the temporary harem motif.

    I've never claimed to be anything other than a disgusting pervert. One of the girls confirmed that, though she kindly omitted the "disgusting" bit.

    Quote Originally Posted by EagerBeaver View Post
    I must admit that I was amused by your repeated insistence that your "balls be left alone."
    My wife doesn't get this one at all, either. It's just something that I've usually found more annoying than enjoyable. I mention it, as with my other prejudices, so that readers of my reviews can understand why I don't address the quality of a service I try to avoid.

    Quote Originally Posted by cloudsurf View Post
    Please forward our thanks to your wife .
    I've been forwarding mine daily for decades. There are probably a few of her own reviews still floating around out there somewhere. It's impressive to me how different her and my versions of the same encounter can be.

    Quote Originally Posted by johnmbot View Post
    you buffered 13 muffins in 4 days and still had the energy to write about it?
    Well, sort of.

    I wrote most of the reports right after buffing each muffin in question so I could email them to my wife. The last 4 I was simply incapable of doing until after I got home and caught up on fluids. It also took me a while to make them postable as opposed to half-drunk rambles to my wife.

    LOM got her muffin buffed right before I left and as soon as I got home, so it was really 14 muffins. It's just that one of them wasn't a rental and isn't reviewed here.
    Last edited by muffinbuffer; 11-07-2010 at 11:06 PM.

  6. #6
    Can you please please please share with me the secret to doing 3-4 girls a day with MSOG each? Are you just a freak of nature? Kegel exercises? Or do you just take a cocktail of viagara+levitra+cialis+crushed tiger penis in the morning? You da man.

  7. #7
    ebonylover retired...
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    Quote Originally Posted by Matahorn View Post
    Can you please please please share with me the secret to doing 3-4 girls a day with MSOG each?
    Yep ! Was wondering exact same thing
    Pleeeeease give us your recipe !

    Thanks for these amazing reviews !
    Last edited by pat98; 11-06-2010 at 06:20 PM.

  8. #8
    the last of the mohicans
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    Really fantastic rundown muffin buffer...!
    Complete, Thorough ,and specific.
    Thank you for sharing... and if I was the mayor..? I'd name a street, or a day after you.
    "Scars remind us where we've been. They don't have to dictate where we're going"

  9. #9
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    Quote Originally Posted by johnmbot View Post
    in this age of hi-tech have your wife watch via laptop webcam/video chat. i doubt the sp`s would mind as long as they see her on the other side. whaddya think...
    I did check and it turns out they mind very much even if LOM is waving back at them. I can`t say I blame them. That sort of thing could lead to almost unlimited stalkerdom.

    Quote Originally Posted by Matahorn View Post
    Can you please please please share with me the secret to doing 3-4 girls a day with MSOG each? Are you just a freak of nature? Kegel exercises? Or do you just take a cocktail of viagara+levitra+cialis+crushed tiger penis in the morning?
    Dunno. Always been like that.

    I will point out that I get the girls to do a lot of the work and by the end of a trip I do tend to be a bit sore and worn out.

    As far as taking anything, espresso or cafe au lait is about as far as I go.

    Have you seen these girls, though? Who wouldn`t want them once they were naked?!

    I`m just your average, out-of-shape, middle-aged horndog.

    Quote Originally Posted by johnmbot View Post
    Thanks for catching that. Fixed it.
    Last edited by muffinbuffer; 11-07-2010 at 11:07 PM.

  10. #10
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    Muffinbuffer, thanks for an awesome trip report and great reviews.
    Your reviews are making me edit the good ol' "to do list"... (I suspect other merbists are probably also working on theirs right now)

    Salutations to your wife for her contributions to your amazing journey...

  11. #11
    Bizarre. In a word, that's how I'd sum up this thread. You lost me at "Coochie Concierge" and "Ho Whisperer".

  12. #12
    Impressed. you had me at "Coochie Concierge" and "Ho Whisperer"...

    ;-) CWipes

  13. #13
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    Quote Originally Posted by CWipes View Post
    Impressed. you had me at "Coochie Concierge" and "Ho Whisperer"...
    Same here. I wonder if his wife would be interested in going out to dinner with me?

  14. #14
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    Quote Originally Posted by Aeolus View Post
    Bizarre. In a word, that`s how I`d sum up this thread. You lost me at "Coochie Concierge" and "Ho Whisperer".
    Then you probably wouldn`t be amused at all that my wife once referred to my Montreal trip as "Camp Po-Ka-Ho..."

    https://merb.cc/vbulletin/showthread...Ka-Ho&p=434486

  15. #15
    "Camp Po-Ka-Ho..."
    And just when I had thought that I had heard it all...

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