Trip report and general musings

[CocaCola]

Muffin

How do you get throught canadian customs? What do you tell them? Can you share any advise for dealling with the questions they pose. Thanks.

 

[muffinbuffer]

How do you get throught canadian customs? What do you tell them? Can you share any advise for dealling with the questions they pose.

I don't really understand your question.

They ask the same standard questions customs and immigration officials ask all over the world. I answer them honestly. Easy-peasy.

When they ask the purpose of my visit, I say "pleasure." I know this sounds like a "duh," but the correct answers are either "business" or "pleasure." If I have some wine and they ask, I tell them about it. I don't bring weapons apart from my Swiss Army knife with the corkscrew, but I tell them about the knife when they ask about weapons. When they ask how long and where I'll be staying, I tell them.

Am I missing something?

 

[CocaCola]

Some examples:

What kind of pleasure? I see you've been here before. Why back so soon? What kind of work do you do? Will you be doing any work here while in canada? Will you be meeting anyone here in canada? For what purpose? What is the name and number of the ppl you are going to meet? How long have you known them? DO you know anyone here in canada? Do you travel alone often? Why are you alone on this trip? Have you recently traveled to other international destinations in the last month? Do you have any food or drugs on your person? Where will you be going in Montreal? What tourist sites do you plan to visit? Do you have your tickets already purchased for the events you plan to attend? Why not? DO you often not purchase tickets for sold out events before you travel to them internationally.

Ive stumbled upon all of these and I have been sent to the interrogation area several times. Ive learned over time to have a set story but I still get pestered with your here for vacation and you dont know anybody? My classic moment was that I was here to see canada, your going to see all of canada in 2 days? Go to the next line sir.

Im sure Im a bit nervous so they flip out on me. But I try to judge the line and get a younger agent, If I get an older agent espeically a woman it can be quite an experience.

Thats why I ask. I never tried this but I suspect it would cause a stir if I said I was her to screw a few escorts. Even if its not illegal (which I don't know definitively if it is or not) it still would turn a few heads in line.

 

[muffinbuffer]

Some examples:

Ah. "Guilty conscience" questions.

I was in Montreal at the beginning of October then again at the end. The agent asked the last time I was in Canada and I told her. She obviously already knew the answer. She did ask what kind of work I do. I told her. She asked if I'd be meeting anyone. I said "no." That's the sort of thing I'm simply not going to get into with a border agent, and there's no way for them to confirm or disconfirm my answer. I say I'm going to do some shopping and go to restaurants (which is at least partially the reason for the trip). Sometimes they throw me a curveball - hell, the previous time they asked my license plate number and I didn't know it! It was a dealer loaner. They wanted to know what was wrong with my car so I told them (bad GPS). As far as visiting escorts, that's no more the border agent's business than telling her that I plan to brush my teeth, get my shoes shined, or shag my wife once we get to the hotel.

Where I cross, there's only ever been one lane open going into Canada. It could conceivably help that my license plate is from a state that borders Canada. I don't know.

The primary purpose for such questions is not to elicit the answers. It's to elicit your emotional and behavioral response. Not a single one of the questions they've asked you would cause me the slightest concern. Of course, I'm a boring middle-aged guy who doesn't look nervous. I'm not breaking any laws, so I have no worry about being "caught." If they want to interrogate me, that's fine by me and might be kind of interesting.

 

[czar]

Thanks Muffinbuffer....excellent read.

 

[Man from Down Under]

I am intrigued by the concept of a "Coochie Concierge" - is there anybody that offers this service? On my last trip I spent countless hours doing research developing my to do list. Also, I was in town for work without internet access (to non approved sites) during the day, which made the booking for the night a challenge.

I think how I got a recommendation mid way during my trip from an SP about Scarlett at Devilish, who I then booked, and she turned out to be one of my favorites. I had previously scanned the Devilish site, but just didn't have the time research every girl. Conversely, one girl I researched that I thought was going to be the best, turned out to be my least favorite.

How great would it be to have someone you can call up, describe what you are looking for, be given a number of options to chose from (and can trust that you are getting honest up to date descriptions of the girls), have them arrange the booking, etc... That would be worth something to me.

 

[Aeolus]

When they ask the purpose of my visit, I say "pleasure." I know this sounds like a "duh," but the correct answers are either "business" or "pleasure."

Personally, my advice would be to avoid using the term "pleasure" to describe the reason for your visit if you are a single male who is traveling alone. Might work with the "Coochie Concierge" sitting next to you in the passenger seat, but alone?

Im sure Im a bit nervous so they flip out on me. But I try to judge the line and get a younger agent, If I get an older agent espeically a woman it can be quite an experience.

I think you'd be doing yourself a disservice by trying to get screened by a younger officer. I would think that the younger ones would be more apt to search your car to find the motherload and make names for themselves. Officers get jaded and do less as they age. I'd go for the old guy who has been passed over for promotion five times and looks like he's about a year from retirement. You're definitely right about female officers, though.

Ive stumbled upon all of these and I have been sent to the interrogation area several times.

Don't you just want to turn to the fellow border crosser sitting next to you in the interrogation waiting room and ask, "Pussy or Drugs?"

 

[muffinbuffer]

Personally, my advice would be to avoid using the term "pleasure" to describe the reason for your visit if you are a single male who is traveling alone.

Nope. Seriously - by tradition the only official reasons for crossing a border are "business" and "pleasure." In the past, the first question asked by a border officer was "Business or pleasure?" I've said "I'm on vacation" and had a border officer in more than one country correct me by saying "So, pleasure, then." Use whatever synonym you want.

They really don't care whether you're planning to go to a strip club or hire an escort or whatever. What they want to know is whether you're traveling on business or not. By "business" they don't mean spending money shopping, dining, or (ahem...) on personal services - they want to know if you're engaging in international trade, especially import/export, so they can tax you. We do the same thing. I told a US agent on my return a few weeks ago that I'd bought some coffee cups. He became briefly excited when he thought I might be importing them for sale then quickly lost interest when it turned out to be 6 cups.

Of course, they do also want to know if you're bringing in contraband such as drugs or weapons, entering the country to spy on it or commit a felony, fleeing criminal charges somewhere else, suffering from a communicable disease, planning on immigrating illegally, or otherwise likely to pose a risk to their citizenry. I can't give any advice on this since I don't do those things.

Has anyone here ever been turned back at the Canadian border based on hobbying alone and not on legal history or being caught with contraband?

 

[bumfie]

I can't imagine how the agents would figure out you were going there to see escorts, unless they uncovered a boatload of lingerie and a list of agency phone numbers. And I really don't think they would care. I have been detained at the border briefly for silly reasons and then let in. I agree with the above comment that you are far, far better off with a jaded old guy as a border agent than a young agent, especially the females. Young female agents have harassed me for no good reason, and I suspect part of it may be a suspicion as to what I am after...though I have no way of knowing for sure. I just say I am going to the casino and out for a great dinner since I love Montreal's restaurants. That seems to be enough.

 

[CocaCola]

If your driving in from a neighboring state I can see that be easy. If your flying in from hundreds of miles away you have to have more planned to say than dinner.

Ultimatley Im not to worried about it but it is a pain in the ass to have to deal with the questions. I have not been rejected, pestered yes. There were stories on Terb of some guy actually telling his reason for his visit and he still got in but after being detained for some time.

 

[Kansas Frank]

I hereby nominate Muffin Buffer as the Hobbyist of the Year (2010)! Thanks for sharing your pleasurable trip with all of us and many thanks to your ultra cool wife.

 

[CocaCola]

Hello Muffin and the rest of you.

I recently returned from my trip to Montreal and want share a little story that feeds my paranoia related to my comments above.

My flight went through Toronto where I had to go through Canadian Customs. As I approached and counter I put my paperwork on it and he pickled it up and without looking he said " and what brings you back to Canada again?". That struck me as terribly odd but my secret agent sense kicked in and I quickly ratled off my agenda. I didn't question him about it. They were not busy when my flight began to fill into the area, is it possible they know who you are before you even approach? Or is that just a tactic they throw at travelers to stir the pot?

Anyways I had a good trip. Not as wild as in the past but fun. Ill post a few comments in a differnet thread later.

 

[evillethings]

< bump >

So when's the next installment of muffinbuffer does Montreal coming out?

 

[muffinbuffer]

< bump >

So when's the next installment of muffinbuffer does Montreal coming out?

Probably around the same time next year.