Alex Cooper controversy opinions

[Hmmm…]

So here are my thoughts on dating apps after using them on and off since 2016. Dating apps are predatory, and they are not meant for ''dating'', they are just marketed that way but initially an app like Tinder was just made for hookups. It was supposed to advantage young men in their 30's who were too busy to date and wanted a quick connection, initially. I've studied this carefully before. Not everyone sees the same matches, the apps themselves are discriminatory and don't show you all potential matches. On top of this, nowadays, you need to pay to see who likes you and to see more people on the apps.

I think it's easy to say that ''women have all the choice while men are discriminated against'', because what happens is that women are more at risk of being date raped or meeting somebody who turns out to be an abuser.. Dating apps are relatively recent so we don't have a lot of research on how it affected relationships, but all I know is that most men I know have had bad luck with dating apps, and most women I know have had terrible and even traumatic experiences with them. Women are more scared and lukewarm which doesn't lead to genuine connection probably, and men tend to like every profile they see until they get a match, which doesn't feel intentional.

Dating apps are kind of addictive because they give you an illusion of choice, and at the same time you have a limited amount of profiles that you can see, so it can make you feel trapped. People just don't use them seriously, and in my experience most people don't really know what they want when they are using them. This leads to situations that are uncomfortable, like someone only being interested in sex and just stringing you along and pretending they like you. I think it's true that it's easier for women to find sexual partners, but will these experiences be positive or lead to a relationship or even a friendship? Usually, no..

As for the money aspect, I think social media creates all kinds of sensationalized headlines and there are tons of influencers with bad intentions who gain massive popularity, we shouldn't downplay this.. but there's just so many different discourses right now that it would be weird to say that it's this specific person's bs who is affecting young people the most. I am trying to weigh my words here.. but I am a lot more scared of other dangerous stuff I see online that lead to actual violence. I definitely think this is all part of a cluster of social issues that is confusing people nowadays.

I keep hearing ''it's more expensive to have a girlfriend than to hire a provider consistently over the years'' and I'm like.. in what world do you live in? lol. I've never had a partner who paid anything for me, except for the occasional cheap resto. In fact it's often been me who was more generous. I also don't really see that pattern in the heterosexual relationships I see around me.. I don't see anybody who has everything paid by their husband or boyfriend lol this is a fantasy.

I definitely think that when you are over a certain age, financial stability is important in a partner particularly if you want to build a future with the person. But wealth isn't really necessary in my opinion. This is just me but I'd personally rather make my own money than depend on someone else, financial imbalances in a couple can create issues specially combined with other problems.. I'm sure there are women looking for rich husbands out there but I just don't think that is the norm. I think these discussions based on cliche and sensationalist online stuff are kind of absurd, even tho it is interesting to check out the bullshit that is being fed to younger ppl nowadays.

But honestly in this economy would I blame somebody for wanting to find a wealthy partner to secure their future? Not really... We live in tough times.. but this is a way of doing things that is really old fashioned and usually the other party is well aware of the nature of this relationship. It takes 2 people to create a transactional relationship in my opinion, not just one. I've refused invitations to dinner dates in my civilian life before, because I didn't want to owe the person anything, and I could sense there were expectations behind it.. maybe another woman would have accepted and played the game, idk

Swiping based dating apps are dying because of typical experiences like yours from women. There’s an interesting hypothesis that when the entire selection criteria is superficial, it’s a lot more easy to make superficial decisions. Thus, you have what they say 2/3s of women all chasing the top 10% of men with that criteria based on both looks and perceived wealth/lifestyle. It’s hypergamy to the extreme. And those guys basically become playboys sleeping around and then ghosting women not needing to ever seek escorts. The online platform essentially broadcasts them. Why pay for an escort when you have a roster of women with multiple of them not just beautiful but also highly educated and successful.

This also delves in to the consequences of more women becoming more successful, getting university and professional degrees while still looking for hypergamy. I think the past few years is the first time the graduating classes of medical students have had a higher ratio of women than men. So when these women are all chasing men at their same level or higher, then obviously there will be fewer men at that level and those men can be players aka f boys. That in turn would result in women demanding their partner show more skin in the game by demanding monetary or transactional value. That doesn’t always have to be entirely things paid by men, but it ranges from regular meals from dates you line up during the week up to one girl I knew who was a wellness IG influencer who had a crypto bro pay for her NYC condo. And if you are conventionally attractive it’s ridiculous how often you get approched through online dms or in real life when I hung out some some and got approached multiple times by promoters in the beach in Florida or them getting through the lines at the club or them getting invited to tables.

Alex Cooper’s numbers are ridiculous with her podcast having an average audience of 5 - 10 million per episode. Apparently there’s 20 million women aged 18-26 aka her core audience in the US and 2 million in Canada.

 

[AnthonyAnderson]

I think the past few years is the first time the graduating classes of medical students have had a higher ratio of women than men

It's around 75% female. Great news for these women, but.... what happened with the men? This should concern women as well! Why are so few men chosing to pursue such an important, prestigious, high paying, high status career?

 

[Lunaseraphim]

Swiping based dating apps are dying because of typical experiences like yours from women. There’s an interesting hypothesis that when the entire selection criteria is superficial, it’s a lot more easy to make superficial decisions. Thus, you have what they say 2/3s of women all chasing the top 10% of men with that criteria based on both looks and perceived wealth/lifestyle. It’s hypergamy to the extreme. And those guys basically become playboys sleeping around and then ghosting women not needing to ever seek escorts. The online platform essentially broadcasts them. Why pay for an escort when you have a roster of women with multiple of them not just beautiful but also highly educated and successful.

This also delves in to the consequences of more women becoming more successful, getting university and professional degrees while still looking for hypergamy. I think the past few years is the first time the graduating classes of medical students have had a higher ratio of women than men. So when these women are all chasing men at their same level or higher, then obviously there will be fewer men at that level and those men can be players aka f boys. That in turn would result in women demanding their partner show more skin in the game by demanding monetary or transactional value. That doesn’t always have to be entirely things paid by men, but it ranges from regular meals from dates you line up during the week up to one girl I knew who was a wellness IG influencer who had a crypto bro pay for her NYC condo. And if you are conventionally attractive it’s ridiculous how often you get approched through online dms or in real life when I hung out some some and got approached multiple times by promoters in the beach in Florida or them getting through the lines at the club or them getting invited to tables.

Alex Cooper’s numbers are ridiculous with her podcast having an average audience of 5 - 10 million per episode. Apparently there’s 20 million women aged 18-26 aka her core audience in the US and 2 million in Canada.

I don't know what you're talking about lol most of the men I've matched with on dating apps were broke artists or party guys, not wealthy men who look like models... Same thing for most women I know. None of us have encountered this type of man not are we seeking it. Oh well.

 

[AnthonyAnderson]

It's been slow at work and I've been thinking about this thread a lot. I think this is it. OP has managed to answer, not entirely, but in large part, one of the most debated questions on this board in recent memory: the lack of new talent in the industry. The social shock and the mental health crisis that followed the pandemic set the stage. The rise (and fall?) of OnlyFans was always the easy answer, but I knew that it went deeper than that, but I couldn't manage to articulate how. The popularity of dating apps sent us on the right track, in that they intensify the conflict between the sexes that has always existed, particularly in terms of resource extraction, from male to female. Now, thanks to @Hmmm… I believe we now have the most general and plausible answer to why fewer women seem to be entering sex work, at least in agencies. In a nutshell, options to rapidly acquire money in a non-stigmatized (and safer?) way are more easily accessible than in the pre-dating app era.

P.S: It would be ideal if you could change the title of this thread to clearly reflect the nature of the discussion.

P.P.S: we rarely discuss the concept of stigma associated with sex work here, but it is a central concept in sex work research that should be considered for inclusion in any analysis.

 

[Lunaseraphim]

It's been slow at work and I've been thinking about this thread a lot. I think this is it. OP has managed to answer, not entirely, but in large part, one of the most debated questions on this board in recent memory: the lack of new talent in the industry. The social shock and the mental health crisis that followed the pandemic set the stage. The rise (and fall?) of OnlyFans was always the easy answer, but I k In a nutshell, options to rapidly acquire money in a non-stigmatized (and safer?) way are only one swipe away.

No. No they're not one swipe away.

The reason why less people want to enter sex work or quit it is because mentalities have changed. 10-15 years ago there was a lot of glamorization of types of sex work like sugaring online.. A lot of girls I know started sugaring because they thought it would be easy money, only to find out that they were better off being escorts. Younger women now know better. Less of them want to expose themselves to violence, which people discuss more openly now.

I think it's wild that the only 2 options for young women to make money in your heads is to suck a merb guy's dick and do all his MSOG PSE performance to have reviews detailing her entire body online OR ''magically finding a billionaire on a dating app who will fund your lifestyle''..

Options to rapidly acquire money are not one swipe away.

 

[AnthonyAnderson]

I think it's wild that the only 2 options for young women to make money in your heads is to suck a merb guy's dick and do all his MSOG PSE performance to have reviews detailing her entire body online OR ''magically finding a billionaire on a dating app who will fund your lifestyle''..

Options to rapidly acquire money are not one swipe

With regards to the first point, that's not what I said. With regards to the second one, it was indeed an overstatement, and I modified it.

 

[Lunaseraphim]

With regards to the first point, that's not what I said. With regards to the second one, it was indeed an overstatement, and I modified it.

I also want to point out, since you're capable of hearing criticism, that you're not yourself doing research on sex work. There are people doing this, in Montreal. Most of them used to be or are sex workers themselves.. Some people have been working with sex workers in the past 30 years. They understand those realities better and could probably answer your questions more.

I know nobody wants to hear that but if you pay attention, you will see that violence against women has actually been on the rise in the past 10 years, particularly since the pandemic started. It's not an ideological statement to say that, it's just facts. In that context, it's no wonder many of us want to eventually quit the industry, or don't want to enter it at all. Besides, I know a lot of people who did sex work briefly when they were younger because they were in trouble financially, it traumatized them and they never wanted to get back into it. They were able to find other options that made them able to quit, and none of it involves being given money by men.

I've had wealthy clients.. none of them would ever consider just giving money to a young woman.

''Hypergamy'' is just not more of a thing nowadays than it ever was. I don't know where you guys are finding your statistics lol. Sure nowadays it's slightly easier to meet people of different social classes, but generally somebody who is in a higher class than you are won't truly want to date you to begin with.

 

[Giselle Montreal]

In a nutshell, options to rapidly acquire money in a non-stigmatized (and safer?) way are more easily accessible than in the pre-dating app era.

Yeah, it's always been an option to have a regular job that's not related to sex work, like most people do. And it's easier than ever to build your own company, create a website and advertise with social media. I am not talking about influencers, just using your phone and computer to build a business. We have more self-employed people than ever, in every field, and I understand why.

 

[AnthonyAnderson]

Yeah, it's always been an option to have a regular job that's not related to sex work, like most people do. And it's easier than ever to build your own company, create a website and advertise with social media. I am not talking about influencers, just using your phone and computer to build a business. We have more self-employed people than ever, in every field, and I understand why.

Like I said elsewhere, it's a positive development if fewer women, particularly young women, are entering sex work. I am trying to gain a purely theoretical understanding here.

 

[Lunaseraphim]

And it's easier than ever to build your own company, create a website and advertise with social media. I am not talking about influencers, just using your phone and computer to build a business. We have more self-employed people than ever, in every field, and I understand why.

That's a very good point. I myself want to build my own business and quit escorting, eventually. Besides, being an independent escort is a real business.