How to find a girlfriend in 2026 (outside of dating apps)?

[EastWind]

This might be the worst possible forum to ask this question in haha. Have you seen how some of the men here talk about women?

It's awesome. Coming here looking at dating/relationship/friendship advice is like going to a crack/fentanyl den asking for advice how to quit drugs. LOL. Or an adult home with everyone in adult diapers asking how to wipe your ass and flush afterwards.

Then the whole thread somehow hit 8 pages talking about how to launch a used condom into space.

If you think dating advice on Merb is bad try doing so in those manosphere/incel sites and forums.

 

[EastWind]

I hate the dating apps.. All the power is to the girls where they get bombarded with hundreds of messages and it reinforces superficial behavior. If you are not over six foot very likely you will be ignored. With in person you can use other assets such as charisma and talking but on an app all you got are pictures and your height. Best way is introduction from friends. Girls got this mindset to refuse advances of men unless you are very attractive. Good luck.

Women on dating apps are looking to date the devil or a demon and they don't even know it. 6 feet tall. 6 inches. 6 figures. 6-6-6.

 

[CLOUD 500]

Women on dating apps are looking to date the devil or a demon and they don't even know it. 6 feet tall. 6 inches. 6 figures. 6-6-6.

Yep. I seen some giants find a stripper GF from the stripclubs. I know two guys personally. One guy was 20 years older then the girl but these guys both had one thing in common, both were 6'6". Girls just fall for the giant. Height is a much bigger attraction then money will ever be. A poor giant will have far better chances then a rich short man or average man. Girls do not like average men.

 

[Michelle Gunn]

1. Who is your target market? age range? Divorcés? Drinkers? Yoga ladies?
2. Go to where they are. Try not to be sleazy.

 

[Lunaseraphim]

If you think dating advice on Merb is bad try doing so in those manosphere/incel sites and forums.

I mean, isn't that what Merb is? Maybe not exactly, but pretty adjacent.

As a curious teenager and in my 20's I went on a lot of these forums, some were in the early stages of that social trend. When I started posting here, I was shocked by how similar it was to some of these spaces. I wouldn't be surprised if many people here aren't on those other sites as well, and following social media influencers who share that type of ideas.

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A lot of what I see here is completely disconnected from reality, and I feel like it's just a self fulfilling prophecy to post here - the answers are already along the lines of ''girls are superficial and will only talk to you if you're a super model, have a huge dick and a millionnaire'' .. nothing that will really help OP feel better about himself and improve his life.

As someone who has actually met OP in person and somewhat cares about him despite our differences in opinions, I think him and others struggling with loneliness are only hurting themselves by seeking answers in this space.

 

[Fradi]

1. Who is your target market? age range? Divorcés? Drinkers? Yoga ladies?
2. Go to where they are. Try not to be sleazy.

Definitely Drinkers.
Half the time they can’t see strait so looks don’t matter, and won’t remember where you live or who you are.
Only gripe is I wish they had better taste in wine.

 

[Leovinci]

A lot of what I see here is completely disconnected from reality, and I feel like it's just a self fulfilling prophecy to post here - the answers are already along the lines of ''girls are superficial and will only talk to you if you're a super model, have a huge dick and a millionnaire'' .. nothing that will really help OP feel better about himself and improve his life.

The problem is dating apps have skewed people's perceptions of reality. I also know women who use dating apps a lot, and they keep running into men who sleep with them once, then just ghost them.

So you end up with an image of reality where 'women only want the top 10% of men' and 'men just want to use women for sex then dump them'

 

[Lunaseraphim]

The problem is dating apps have skewed people's perceptions of reality. I also know women who use dating apps a lot, and they keep running into men who sleep with them once, then just ghost them.

So you end up with an image of reality where 'women only want the top 10% of men' and 'men just want to use women for sex then dump them'

We can all agree with the fact that dating apps are trash and a lot of people don't use them. OP asked for stories and suggestions that don't involve the apps yet everybody keeps mentioning them.

You're also thinking about this in terms of percentage and calculations when actually it has to do with standards. Nobody is entitled to having a partner. You actually have to work on yourself in order to find a relationship, let alone a friendship, and many are not willing to do that work or they don't see what the problem is so they are trying to fix the wrong thing.

I know a lot of men who aren't super attractive and wealthy who always have girlfriends. What they all have in common is that they have passions, rich inner lives, creativity, spirituality, compassion, etc. They have interests that they can share with women like music, art, literature etc. You'll rarely meet a creative mind and art lover who is an incel.

If you are very negative about yourself and the world and you are close minded and disinterested in a lot of things, it will be hard to find a relationship. Change comes from within.. if you open yourself up to new realities and get out of your comfort zone you might find a relationship.

 

[Verbal Kint]

I mean, isn't that what Merb is? Maybe not exactly, but pretty adjacent.

As a curious teenager and in my 20's I went on a lot of these forums, some were in the early stages of that social trend. When I started posting here, I was shocked by how similar it was to some of these spaces. I wouldn't be surprised if many people here aren't on those other sites as well, and following social media influencers who share that type of ideas.

---

A lot of what I see here is completely disconnected from reality, and I feel like it's just a self fulfilling prophecy to post here - the answers are already along the lines of ''girls are superficial and will only talk to you if you're a super model, have a huge dick and a millionnaire'' .. nothing that will really help OP feel better about himself and improve his life.

As someone who has actually met OP in person and somewhat cares about him despite our differences in opinions, I think him and others struggling with loneliness are only hurting themselves by seeking answers in this space.

Here or anywhere else. Most of the damage to us, society, is already done. Now it's either denial, ride the wave or try to fix it. Merb is a place to exchange stories about meeting escorts. If you think about it, it's not the most upright gentleman type of conversation. So we devolve in the exchange of ideas. And then, often turn it into a dumpster fire.
*(I'll assume some responsability there.)

Like someone mentioned. Is it the best place to do so? No!
Yes, you are correct. Whatever advice you get from the internet, should be taken lightely and fact checked. Doesnt keep the smart ones from saying great stuff; and the funny ones to make us laugh.

 

[Lunaseraphim]

I have met a few men through being an escort who think they can buy a girlfriend with money. They themselves are superficial and have all kinds of eyebrow raising criteria about the type of woman they want to meet that have nothing to do with her interests, who she is as a person and how they would like to be treated.

Naturally this will attract these superficial women who only care about money when it comes to dating, even if she finds the guy repulsive physically and annoying. These guys often confuse sugar babies with girlfriends as well.. Then these guys will hire escorts and cry on their shoulders. They have established a superficial and transactional relationship and they blame the woman for it.

It's the same thing with people of both genders who are only looking for someone who's all about appearances... Nothing about this relationship will feel genuine. I've often met people who were seeking a partner who has qualities that they themselves don't have like good mental health and physical attractiveness.. this won't work out.

Once you do start working on developing these qualities yourself chances are you'll discover that a lot more is missing.

 

[Fradi]

Other clients and SP are the perfect people to ask for advice on love and relationships lol.
Seems like a movie theme for Borat.
It is entertaining though

 

[WAZZAP1]

2 of my last 3 GFs were met at work. The other one was at the gym.

Don't be on the hunt, it doesn't work.
And stay far from the manosphere bros!

 

[Verbal Kint]

Searching for love desperatly rarely works. Like trying to find your keys when pinched for time. Flip the couch coushins 100 times, on the 101st... they're still no where to be found. So you call for AAA. and while waiting, you realise you left them in the ignition with the doors unlocked...

 

[PSEfreak]

In my experience the best dating app is Facebook Dating. Far and away the best results for me.

 

[LeDodo]

In my experience the best dating app is Facebook Dating. Far and away the best results for me.

What's FB dating?

 

[PSEfreak]

What's FB dating?

Not sure exactly how to explain it or how I found / discovered it (it was years ago)
Within the Facebook app there is a Dating component, open you FB on your phone and DL it.

Its well done and I found its a lot more serious that all the other options out there. But that's just my experience

 

[Leovinci]

OK Cupid was the best dating app for serious relationships, but they paywalled a lot of stuff since I had my success

 

[LeDodo]

You need to first go to places with high quality people with a focus on building a community. From there you have a high chance of making friends. As an adult means heading back to classes. A fitness class, a cooking class, an improv class, etc. Right now the most popular are fitness classes especially for HIIT and running that have a social element like beer or coffee afterwards.

I agree. You won't find someone by just staying home and taping/swiping some dating app.
Actually the dating app could be a good start as it will trigger the initial contact for a first meeting or dating activity.
Back in the days I wasn't really looking for a relationship but I use to go out a lot to different activities either from my group of friends or from a friend of friend. This activity itself will just drag lot of different people together and allow to start connecting with people.
If by chance we see that we were both single it could lead to further one on one meetings and more ...

Back to the dating apps, I was extremely shocked when my coworker having move to Montreal recently has found a girlfriend quite quickly. On the other hand another colleague seems to have more difficulty and even shared the struggles. Like he connected with someone but she refused to discuss further when he replied negatively to being a homeowner.
We even asked the successful colleague how he filled up his profile to finding someone that quick.

Coming to my initial point, it's summer, go out, join the numerous activities Montreal has to offer. And as @Lunaseraphim said, work on yourself first. Nobody would want to be with someone negative (or maybe if she wants to have an echo chamber to mumble about anything lol).

Enjoy!

 

[LeDodo]

Not sure exactly how to explain it or how I found / discovered it (it was years ago)
Within the Facebook app there is a Dating component, open you FB on your phone and DL it.

Its well done and I found its a lot more serious that all the other options out there. But that's just my experience

Good to know. Never heard about it!