The Bitching thread

[LeDodo]

He's not wrong, and taken outside of a local (NA) context that would absolutely be the prevailing general attitude and It is with many people here too. The thing is that it's important to take in the entire tapestry of the mongering experience and to make the distinction between the small group of SPs we know here on the board and the total population of SPs at large. I think we all agree that you could probably pay deposits to the ladies that post here and they would very likely treat them responsibly. However, when making statements of this type we're talking about everybody, not just the 6-10 SPs who post here regularly. I think everyone would also agree that there's a lot of con artists out there that the ladies on this board are not representative of, but who vastly outnumber the ladies here. Those ladies do not inspire the same level of confidence and trust and as mentioned there's a lot more of them. If you're going to make a rule it might as well be a consistent general rule and cover the majority of the likely experiences. Everyone can make their own decisions in that regard.

That's the thing, his grain of salt experience is not representative of all the clients experience same as you consider the population of escort of honest escorts here.

The point here is not to disagree with the existence of scam from escorts (genuine or scammers) nor the existence of legit escorts honoring their service.

 

[Cap'tain Fantastic]

Why would you? There are providers who will not see you without one

So? There is plenty of others, their losses , not mine!

 

[urquell]

That's the thing, his grain of salt experience is not representative of all the clients experience same as you consider the population of escort of honest escorts here.

The point here is not to disagree with the existence of scam from escorts (genuine or scammers) nor the existence of legit escorts honoring their service.

We don't really know what his experience is. We just know he's new to MERB. He can talk about that if he wants to.

I know that my level of experience certainly isn't zero or close to it and I agree with him. I've also been quite clear about making the distinction between the separate groups of people on both sides of the transaction as well as empathizing on why deposits can and should be requested and why from the other standpoint they shouldn't be paid. It's all about an individual assumption of risk and their comfort level, and to a certain lesser degree for some guys the focused desire to see a particular SP. There's not really a right or wrong answer here, just the answer that's best for you.

I'm going to qualify the above with a single statement. You should never provide a deposit in a way that discloses your personal information, nor screening that does the same. There is never a good reason for any monger to do that under any circumstances no matter who the SP is.

 

[Lunaseraphim]

I feel like everybody missed the point here lol.

This is the bitching thread.

I was bitching about the fact that I don't require deposits, and that people are able to cancel appointments without suffering any consequences, which has happened many times recently.

And I was bitching about the fact that people constantly bitch about deposits, not understanding why they exist.

And the people who bitch about deposits appeared and did their thing and missed the point.

I still don't require deposits.

And yes there are scammers who are not escorts - usually pimps or people who aren't genuinely providing services. Nobody denied this.

 

[The_super_dude]

So, then what's the best rule of thumb to avoid scams from escorts?

 

[merbuser1221]

So, then what's the best rule of thumb to avoid scams from escorts?

Rule number 1) if a deposit is required, run

Rule number 2) if you have to send your personal identification, also run

And rule number 3) if you're considering seeing a freelancer or independent woman, it's not worth your time or money unless you've read real reviews of her from previous mongers

Break these rules at your own risk

 

[Lunaseraphim]

So, then what's the best rule of thumb to avoid scams from escorts?

This has been discussed extensively. And I think usually the scammers aren't actually escorts.

Just do your research. Make sure the person has a social media presence and a website.

Check reviews if that's your thing.

 

[mtlspacial]

So, then what's the best rule of thumb to avoid scams from escorts?

1. Do your homework. Check reviews.

2. If you decide you want to TOFTT with an unreviewed escort, ask yourself, does it look too good to be true?

3. Never give deposits unless the person is well reviewed and you know for sure they are legit.

 

[Lunaseraphim]

Rule number 1) if a deposit is required, run

Rule number 2) if you have to send your personal identification, also run

And rule number 3) if you're considering seeing a freelancer or independent woman, it's not worth your time or money unless you've read real reviews of her from previous mongers

Break these rules at your own risk

You are incorrect. Several of my colleagues require deposits and they aren't scammers.

Also, when you visit agencies, you are identifying yourself by using your real phone number. So I guess, run from agencies.

Also, massage parlours have cameras so likely they have recordings of you somewhere. Run from them too.

 

[mtlspacial]

So, then what's the best rule of thumb to avoid scams from escorts?

1. Do your homework. Check reviews.

2. If you decide you want to TOFTT with an unreviewed escort, ask yourself, does it look too good to be true?

3. Never give deposits unless the person is well reviewed and you know for sure they are legit.

 

[Lunaseraphim]

1. Do your homework. Check reviews.

2. If you decide you want to TOFTT with an unreviewed escort, ask yourself, does it look too good to be true?

3. Never give deposits unless the person is well reviewed and you know for sure they are legit.

Even if the person has bad reviews that doesn't mean she is a scammer. If the reviews confirm her as a real person and don't talk about scams or something suspicious like a weird dude being present, I wouldn't worry too much about getting scammed.

 

[mtlspacial]

Even if the person has bad reviews that doesn't mean she is a scammer. If the reviews confirm her as a real person and don't talk about scams or something suspicious like a weird dude being present, I wouldn't worry too much about getting scammed.

You are correct.

I should have better stated to make a distinction between a review of an underwhelming encounter, which is of course subjective, and a clear statement that a supposed provider engages in fraud with potential clients.

 

[merbuser1221]

You are incorrect. Several of my colleagues require deposits and they aren't scammers.

Also, when you visit agencies, you are identifying yourself by using your real phone number. So I guess, run from agencies.

Also, massage parlours have cameras so likely they have recordings of you somewhere. Run from them too.

In terms of deposits, I was moreso meaning that it doesn't make logical sense to pay a deposit, regardless if they are a scammer

And for the last 2 points, I'd say that's a bit different compared to sending over an image of your personal ID

 

[Lunaseraphim]

In terms of deposits, I was moreso meaning that it doesn't make logical sense to pay a deposit, regardless if they are a scammer

And for the last 2 points, I'd say that's a bit different compared to sending over an image of your personal ID

Maybe to you it doesn't, but I personally have to pay deposits for several services, so it's curious to me that you find this concept "illogical" and that you haven't encountered it yet outside of "mongering".

I pay a deposit to my hair stylist. I pay a deposit if I want a tattoo. I've paid deposits to rent hotel rooms. I've paid deposits at spas if I wanted a massage. Lawyers, therapists, you name it... Many many professionals require deposits.

It's not just escorts who ask for them, and nobody asks for fun. The thing I was bitching about is why people ask for deposits.

---

It's different from a piece of ID but they are still personal identification. And none of it can actually be used to -scam you-.

The fact that an escort or her boss has information about you won't magically remove money from your bank account.

 

[urquell]

You are incorrect. Several of my colleagues require deposits and they aren't scammers.

Also, when you visit agencies, you are identifying yourself by using your real phone number. So I guess, run from agencies.

Also, massage parlours have cameras so likely they have recordings of you somewhere. Run from them too.

I do kind of feel like we've strayed from the path here, and I agree with you mentioning that earlier, but I'm going to say that you are incorrect as well, or some context needed, so I'm going to dip my oar in the water again. Sorry.

1) several of your colleagues aren't scammers and do ask for deposits. That's fine, and I agree with you. Once again you are a small group of fish in the pond and guys need to look out for more than just you and your friends. There will be scammers and there will be lost deposits. Ths has already been discussed. Also, whether they are scammers or not doesn't really necessarily affect whether you should be paying deposits or not which is a different question.
2) I can't speak to how many people use their real phone numbers, but they're crazy if they do. None of the people I hang with use real numbers and all have a burner phone for all of their monger related activities. So, visit agencies at will if you like. I don't use agencies either, so it's all academic to me, but whatever applies to you.
3) Again I know that many MPs have cameras, although not all recording. Most indy MPs don't and so there's once again a decision to be made. This is in part why when I see MPs i generally prefer indies to salons although since I share no personal info I don't worry overly about it much even in the spas. It's a very small level of risk that I'm comfortable with and since I see indies or go to micros mostly it's unlikely to be an issue.

 

[Lunaseraphim]

I do kind of feel like we've strayed from the path here, and I agree with you mentioning that earlier, but I'm going to say that you are incorrect as well, or some context needed, so I'm going to dip my oar in the water again. Sorry.

1) several of your colleagues aren't scammers and do ask for deposits. That's fine, and I agree with you. Once again you are a small group of fish in the pond and guys need to look out for more than just you and your friends. There will be scammers and there will be lost deposits. Ths has already been discussed. Also, whether they are swcammers or not doesn't really necessarily affect whether you should be paying deposits or not which is a different question.
2) I can't speak to how many people use their real phone numbers, but they're crazy if they do. None of the people I hang with use real numbers and all have a burner phone for all of their monger related activities. So, visit agencies at will if you like. I don't use agencies either, so it's all academic to me, but whatever applies to you.
3) Again I know that many MPs have cameras, although not all recording. Most indy MPs don't and so there's once again a decision to be made. This is in part why when I see MPs i generally prefer indies to salons although since I share no personal info I don't worry overly about it much even in the spas. It's a very small level of risk that I'm comfortable with and since I see indies or go to micros mostly it's unlikely to be an issue.

I expressed myself incorrectly, what I meant is that agencies do not accept text apps from what I've heard. Textapps can easily be changed and the client can't be traced.

And for MPs I'm talking about massage parlours specifically, not independent erotic masseuses. Many of them have cameras including in the rooms.

I don't think anyone is "crazy for using their real phone numbers" because the likelihood of something bad happening is very low. I don't want to get into this, tho. It's really off topic.

I was really only just bitching about cancellations.

 

[urquell]

I expressed myself incorrectly, what I meant is that agencies do not accept text apps from what I've heard. Textapps can easily be changed and the client can't be traced.

And for MPs I'm talking about massage parlours specifically, not independent erotic masseuses. Many of them have cameras including in the rooms.

I don't think anyone is "crazy for using their real phone numbers" because the likelihood of something bad happening is very low. I don't want to get into this, tho. It's really off topic.

I was really only just bitching about cancellations.

Yes, cancellations suck.