Montreal Escorts

How to quit the Hobby/Addiction?

LeDodo

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The simple but complicated formula to quit the "hobby" is to make the rewards of ordinary life greater than the instant gratification that the "hobby" provides.

For me it involved changes in different areas of life. Moderate but consistent physical activity; taking on additional responsibilities at work; moving to a better neighbourhood; more time spent reading physical books and learning new things; seeing my parents more often; spending a bit more on restaurants. Importantly, less screen time led to better sleep, which led to better emotion regulation and impulse control.

There also comes the realization to have lived all of your experiences. D'avoir fait le tour. As mentioned in other threads, with rare exceptions, the quality of our interactions with agency SPs seems to have declined since the pandemic. It's also us getting older and more jaded... Thus the rewards of each encounter have gotten smaller. Not wanting to end up like the Leolist client who is on an endless quest for the hidden gem that will never come, this is what prompted me to stop. At the same time, I was making progress in the other domains of life mentioned above. I also came to terms with the idea that I will remain single likely forever. If making friends in adulthood were easier I would certainly make efforts...This is an area for improvement.

If someone were to ask me where to start the answer may surprise you: sleep (7-8 hours of quality sleep). At its core, being addicted to the hobby is like every addiction: it is a problem of emotion regulation. Not having enough sleep all but guarantees that it will be difficult to accomplish that. In summary, different moving parts must come together to build a more meaningful, rewarding life.
So you have successfully stopped?

Some members here said they retired
But why coming back on merb then?
You might get tempted.. to come back. I feel like it’s a board to avoid to login if someone wants to stop & move on?
I have exactly the same thought lol
 

Lunaseraphim

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Some members here said they retired
But why coming back on merb then?
You might get tempted.. to come back. I feel like it’s a board to avoid to login if someone wants to stop & move on?
I agree. It's not just tempting to come back but to just commiserate endlessly with other retired users.... It's pretty negative
 
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AnthonyAnderson

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So you have successfully stopped?
I have stopped, but success will only be measured in the long term.
Some members here said they retired
But why coming back on merb then?
You might get tempted.. to come back. I feel like it’s a board to avoid to login if someone wants to stop & move on?
You make a good point. We could call it a residual habit. I have cut down significantly on the amount of time I spend here in recent weeks, but I still want to keep abreast (pun intended) of what is going on in the industry. (Just to clarify: i don't consider having "retired". This was never a job...This is another example of the silly vocabulary that we find in this sphere)
 
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Lunaseraphim

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I have stopped, but success will only be measured in the long term.

You make a good point. We could call it a residual habit. I have cut down significantly on the amount of time I spend here in recent weeks, but I still want to keep abreast (pun intended) of what is going on in the industry. (Just to clarify: i don't consider having "retired". This was never a job...This is another example of the silly vocabulary that we find in this sphere)
I agree the word retired is silly.

My question is... Why do you want to know what's going on in the industry?
 
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masterfreak

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Sep 1, 2018
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Quel drôle de communauté c'est par curiosité que je retourne sur merb
Je rencontres très rarement et lire certains commentaires ici me refroidis encore plus
J'ai hâte de réussir à me détacher complètement de cette activité
Ce forum créé aussi une dépendance mais beaucoup moins pire
Y a tellement d'activités à faire dans cette ville je profite au maximum des restaurants
Je m'entraîne je médite je fais beaucoup de vélo dès randonnées en nature
Il faut se tenir occupé avec les festivals
C'est maintenant possible d'éviter beaucoup de trafic avec les navettes fluviales
Y a moyen de se faire beaucoup de plaisir en diminuant au maximum les booking
 

Stoo

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Oh I dunno... Try not doing it. Get a girlfriend. Pound your meat. This isn't rocket science. If you think it's bad for you, or you don't enjoy it, or you can't afford it, just stop. It isn't heroin.

Incidentally, I'm a widow, I live in a remote part of Ontario where the definition of a hot girl is one with most of her teeth. I'm more of a massage guy, but I find it genuinely "nice" and I can afford it. I see the same 4 or 5 women and I am genuinely fond of them, and I think it's mutual to various degrees.

A final thought.... Your first step to quitting is getting off MERB.. Alcoholics trying to quit don't spend hours walking the aisles of the liquor stores
 

twenty4seven

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Oct 4, 2025
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Oh I dunno... Try not doing it. Get a girlfriend. Pound your meat. This isn't rocket science. If you think it's bad for you, or you don't enjoy it, or you can't afford it, just stop. It isn't heroin.

Incidentally, I'm a widow, I live in a remote part of Ontario where the definition of a hot girl is one with most of her teeth. I'm more of a massage guy, but I find it genuinely "nice" and I can afford it. I see the same 4 or 5 women and I am genuinely fond of them, and I think it's mutual to various degrees.

A final thought.... Your first step to quitting is getting off MERB.. Alcoholics trying to quit don't spend hours walking the aisles of the liquor stores
Yeah, and off the agency sites/leolist/tryst ads. Baiting yourself for sport unnecessarily isn't a bigger victory you're just tempting fate. And when you break you won't have had the distance, physically or otherwise, needed from all your favourite sins to prevent from jumping right back in. Wild behaviour.
 

Smitty Jaeger-Manjenson

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Dead simple. If/when I find a wife. In the words of Ward Rackley from King of the Hill (i.e. animated Styx Hexenhammer), "Probably from the East". I feel a strong hostility towards adultery (adultery also damn near destroyed the career of my favorite athlete and childhood hero, so I would have to be a goddamn fool not to learn from his mistakes), therefore I could not see myself as going gallivanting about once married.

On the other hand, marriage to me is akin to an unrealistic fantasy. I am plagued with trust issues and generalized misanthropy, thus I have a hard time imagining myself sharing my life and living quarters with another person 24/7. I am very fond of beautiful women but don't trust them anywhere near enough to take such a life-altering step, especially as a good friend of mine had his life ruined by a divorce and it turned him into a depressed, despondent Bill Dauterive (cool it with the KotH references already). Realizing my lofty career goals is actually closer to my grasp than a happy married life, so that is what I choose to focus on. If the other ambition somehow occurs as well, well hey, what an unexpectedly pleasant bonus. But if I allow my happiness to hinge on that, I am setting myself up for a lifetime of misery,

As such, I predict plenty of gallivanting with ladies of the evening in my future, barring a freaking miracle whereby I actually do get hitched. It's a good thing that I've learned to be financially responsible, avoiding the risk of fucking myself out of house and home. People gamble themselves out of house and home, so I don't see this pastime as being that different.
 

skarsga

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Sep 24, 2018
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There is a big difference between sex and drugs.
Having safe sex between consenting individuals is healthy. Doing any amount of certain drugs (coke, heroin, speed) is unhealthy. For people who think this hobby is immoral, they should never even dip their toes in the water. What is left after that are two groups, 1st people who utilize sp services with restraint (healthy in my opinion) and 2nd people who don't (risky unsafe behavior, overindulging, living beyond means etc, all very unhealthy). For this unhealthy group that cannot reign themselves in, the only thing that would work is quitting cold turkey. Like an alcoholic who cannot even have one drink without descending into madness, so I think it is for this person.
Sex addicts anonymous, counseling, stable relationship, these seem like the best possible treatment.
 

Lunaseraphim

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I don't think it's about sex being immoral. I think it's about what you expect from these types of encounters. It could become compulsive or you can start not seeing reality as it is fully
 

Smitty Jaeger-Manjenson

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I don't know if this thread is the proper place for reflections of this nature, I believe that I'm staying on topic so everything's copacetic.

Luna raised the issue of how it isn't the sex itself that makes this pastime immoral or not, which got me to thinking (I'm prone to being a deep thinker and sometimes think too much for my own good). If one were to really sit down and reflect as objectively as possible, I have a lot of trouble with categorizing sex work as fundamentally immoral. And keep in mind, this is coming from a self-professed conservative, is not like I'm some flower power proponent of free love and the hippie lifestyle or whatever. Sex in and of itself is NOT fundamentally immoral, people who think along those lines have some deep-seated issues that I'm not professionally qualified to help them with. So why would selling sexual services count as immoral then? It counts as goods/services that are in high demand no matter what society one inhabits, seeing as it's a biological imperative that needs to be addressed one way or another. Some women are highly talented when it comes to satisfying a man's sexual needs, thus they make a career out of it, for to put food on the table and a roof over their heads the same way we all need to do.

The arguments censuring the world's oldest profession have a hard time holding up under scrutiny. One argument is the supposed spreading of STD's. That may have held true in prior decades when unprotected sex among strangers was much more prevalent (especially the 90's and the AIDS scare). The counterargument to that is that casual sex among people who just met at a bar carries similar risk of infection, the monetary factor doesn't play a part (and professionals tend to carry out tests much more regularly than the average citizen, plus BBFS providers are few and far between). Another very common accusation is that escorts facilitate adultery, leading married men into temptation. In all due honesty, I'd have to tell those married men that this counts as more of a "you" problem. If the urge to be unfaithful to your spouse is strong enough, it would be just as easy to pick up a loose woman that you just met at the club and drive her to the no-tell motel. Alcohol is the source of a fuckton of societal ills, and conversely, prevents practically the same number. Because drinking makes some men violent, while simultaneously calming other men down and preventing them from being violent. Will we accuse the bartenders and the brewers of being a source of immorality and social decay? We tried that once already a century ago and the experiment failed miserably (well, the Americans did but what is Canada but America Jr., sometimes we go along with their wacky adventures, sometimes we opt out). Suffice it to say, you don't blame the bottle for driving you to drink, same as you don't blame the courtesan for beguiling you into a tryst. You're just giving up your agency and refusing to take responsibility for your own life decisions.

So on the topic of wishing to quit "the hobby" over "sex addiction" (I place it in quotation marks because I am very skeptical of any addiction to something that is not a substance to be ingested, inhaled or injected; if someone mentions "porn/gambling/video game addiction" to me, I'll reply "No, you knobhead, what you're actually addicted to is the release of dopamine, it's all CHEMICALS"), the burden of guilt is not on the hooker but on the john. The good time girls are not doing anything objectively immoral, you're the one engaging in compulsive behavior that can turn harmful for you. Escorts are not bad people with rotten hearts, in fact I would categorize them as considerably less immoral than married men and women who willingly break their vows and engage in adultery. Those are the true harlots. On a more mystical level, need I point out that Mary Magdalene was not to be stoned to death for practicing the occupation of prostitution, but for the accusation that she was an adulteress (leading married men into sin). And Jesus was sufficiently enlightened to tell the difference, thus the whole episode of "Let he who is without sin cast the first stone". He did not reject her as filthy and immoral, in fact He went as far as to accept her among his most beloved disciples. Food for thought for those who, like me, are inclined towards ruminations of the metaphysical sort.
(I am both a profoundly sexual man as well as a profoundly spiritual man, I tend to analyze things from a metaphysical lens. I'm just weird like that. I suppose me and Prince Rogers Nelson are cut from the same cloth v0v )
 
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skarsga

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"sex addiction" (I place it in quotation marks because I am very skeptical of any addiction to something that is not a substance to be ingested, inhaled or injected; if someone mentions "porn/gambling/video game addiction" to me, I'll reply "No, you knobhead, what you're actually addicted to is the release of dopamine, it's all CHEMICALS"),
What a silly ignorant thing to say. Process addiction is 100% real and in some cases far more dangerous than substance abuse (see suicide rates amongst gambling addicts). You can reference the DSM to clear up your confusion. Everything we experience can be boiled down to neuro transmitters in our brain.
(I am both a profoundly sexual man as well as a profoundly spiritual man, I tend to analyze things from a metaphysical lens. I'm just weird like that. I suppose me and Prince Rogers Nelson are cut from the same cloth v0v )
profoundly humble as well? I'm guessing not. Rofl
 

Lunaseraphim

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I'm on the fence about sex addiction because it's a controversial diagnosis. But I think people can develop compulsive and unhealthy habits related to sex for sure. And those habits and attitudes can have really negative repercussions in your life.. particularly when it comes to seeing escorts, or generally when it involves other human beings. I could go on about this and share my observations but I'm not sure if that's something people here are interested in
 
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Smitty Jaeger-Manjenson

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What a silly ignorant thing to say. Process addiction is 100% real and in some cases far more dangerous than substance abuse (see suicide rates amongst gambling addicts). You can reference the DSM to clear up your confusion. Everything we experience can be boiled down to neuro transmitters in our brain.

profoundly humble as well? I'm guessing not. Rofl
It's all in your head, guy. Do you know what serotonin/dopamine are? That's what you're addicted to. Find an alternate source. Or don't. The current DSM is a joke, video game addiction is one of the most retarded things I've ever heard "professionals" take seriously, and they added it to that book. LMFAO.
 

minutemenX

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I don't know if this thread is the proper place for reflections of this nature, I believe that I'm staying on topic so everything's copacetic.

Luna raised the issue of how it isn't the sex itself that makes this pastime immoral or not, which got me to thinking (I'm prone to being a deep thinker and sometimes think too much for my own good). If one were to really sit down and reflect as objectively as possible, I have a lot of trouble with categorizing sex work as fundamentally immoral. And keep in mind, this is coming from a self-professed conservative, is not like I'm some flower power proponent of free love and the hippie lifestyle or whatever. S
If you eat every day, are you a food addict? If you sleep every day, are you a sleep addict? If you have several beers per week are you an alcoholic? Sex is the man’s necessity as food, drink, etc. If you hobby rationally and within means of your income you are not an addict. If hobby ruins your finances and life goals, you are indeed an addict. So instead of fighting it and having withdrove syndrome do it rationally and in moderation in balance with your life stile and goals. There are many people on this board who do it for decades and are very successful in practically all aspects of life that count.
 

Lunaseraphim

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It's all in your head, guy. Do you know what serotonin/dopamine are? That's what you're addicted to. Find an alternate source. Or don't. The current DSM is a joke, video game addiction is one of the most retarded things I've ever heard "professionals" take seriously, and they added it to that book. LMFAO.
Seeking dopamine, adrenaline, etc through different means, while it's not an addiction to a substance like alcohol or crack or something, can actually work in the same way as what you perceive as a legit addiction and the issue is that it involves a lot more than just a substance. Hell addiction to substances have a lot of psychological reasons behind them, complications and negative effects...

When you think about seeking something compulsively that isn't inherently unhealthy like companionship, sex, or food.. and as somebody else mentioned other things that can be highly addictive like gambling. There's a lot of problems that are being ignored and impulses, desires, emotions and compulsions directed towards a certain thing. This can become very toxic.

I'm not a psychiatrist or anything but it takes a few minutes on this forum to witness this.
 
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