Danger of bbfs

Cadaxa said:

Replying to the topic of “dangers of bbfs”
From my understanding, bbbj carries nearly all of the same risks of bbfs except for HIV. I would imagine that if one or both parties have received the Lenacapavir shot, then bbfs would carry nearly the same risk. Maybe the increased cases of bbfs being offered is due to the lenacapavir?

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I don't think so. Nobody has proven that there's an actual increase of BBFs being offered.. and in my opinion if there is, it's more likely to be because of the economy. I'm on prep but only as a preventative measure, not so I can offer BBFs. In my humble opinion if someone is careless or desperate enough to offer them chances are they didn't think of getting it prescribed ...

Also the reason why we avoid BBFs isn't only to prevent HIV.. it's also because all other STIs are much more easily transmitted that way, and there's the possibility of getting pregnant for a lot of people.

The reality is some offer BBFS because there are clients who want it and will pay for it.

I personally will not do BBFS, and if a provider offered it I would not accept their offer for it.

TheKing777 said:

The reality is some offer BBFS because there are clients who want it and will pay for it.

I personally will not do BBFS, and if a provider offered it I would not accept their offer for it.

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That's my whole point. BBFs would probably be way less common if clients didn't ask for it. Particularly new girls get pressured for it.. my first year I remember multiple clients were asking, not only over text but in person. Some would show up and say "I have a vasectomy, we don't have to use a condom do we?" And they played dumb. It's far from being most clients who seek that but there is a group of them..

And let me tell you something. Most of the time I was asked for BBFs I wasn't even offered extra money for it. I've heard of high end very low volume providers offering it for an even higher rate and a test in other provinces, and in the context of arrangements. But we're talking about mid range indies, leolist girls and agency & spa girls right now. These clients just assume we are desperate and have no bookings so they think we will give them what they want. And honestly if someone is in a desperate financial situation she may say yes.

Because of the way things are in Montreal the more services you offer the more clients you will have even if they're dangerous or things you hate doing.

Lunaseraphim said:

It's far from being most clients who seek that but there is a group of them

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I'd love to put them in a brain scanner (fMRI), for science.

AnthonyAnderson said:

I'd love to put them in a brain scanner (fMRI), for science.

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Some people are more motivated by instant pleasure and breaking rules and boundaries rather than avoiding risks... I think it also has to do with outdated sexual education. A lot of people still think only gay men get HIV for instance. And a lot of people have this "this will never happen to me even if it's a risk" mentality...

Similar reason why a lot people here seem so convinced that they will never get an STI from BBBJ or Daty. It's not likely but it can happen, and if it does it will have consequences.

Bbfs & other things (Part 1)

Girls offering or doing bbfs & johns asking about it has been around for a long time even before i started hobbying at the turn of the millennium. I’m not sure we should even be shocked about it. We’ve all pretty much done it outside the business, right? I’ll confess that prior to discovering the hobby 25 years ago i was pretty active sexually. But i had yet to experience intercourse with a condom & the few times i offered to put the party hat on it’s my partner who’d tell me to take it off or not use one. That she was on the pill, i shouldn’t worry, yada-yada-yada. Sure i could attribute it to my sexual immaturity but i was in my 20’s. I still should have known better. But i pretty much had learned about sex from warching porn & continued to educate myself about it by watching even more of it. That’s how i got my training! Lol. And what did i never see in porn at the time? Condoms.

I first started using condoms when i began hobbying out of curiosity. I was already pretty much a sex addict by then. It was a natural progression for me. Even though i had a great sex life (an unbelievable one according to my friends at the time) i still wanted more. It was like a drug. An addictive drug. I wanted to continuously push the enveloppe further & expand my sexual horizons. Before i decided to see my first sp i did my research for months. I became a big contributor on a board even before becoming an official hobbyist! Lol. But i was transparent & honest & many veteran hobbyists on the boards took me under their wing & guided me through the process. Showed me the ropes. I asked many questions & they responded honestly. They wanted me to succeed! Some ladies on the boards offered to be my first experience. But they weren’t my type & i wanted my first one to be special. A near-perfect match. That’s what i’d need to get the nerve to do it even though i was quite aware that i may end up regretting doing this & would likely feel ashamed about myself. But the reviews i was reading & the discussions about hobbying & the great girls they’d met made me even more obsessed!

However i was quite aware that i would absolutely have to not wear a condom for my first experience but to also get used to wearing condoms. So i began masturbating while wearing a condom. And when i’d go out on weekends & hook up with a girl i’d wear a condom even though she’d tell me i didn’t have to wear one. You may think they were either mental or really slutty but to be honest for many of these women i was quite aware catch at the time! Lol. Picking up a random sex partner that i didn’t even know or barely knew wasn’t that difficult. I wasn’t necessarily a smooth talker but i had a food sense of humor & more importantly i had started to have a reputation among local ladies that i was a great fuck! Lol. I owed this honor to the porn i was watching but mostly to several books on sexuality that i had been reading early on in order to make me the best i could be in bed. To this day i thank wife#1 for getting me The Hite Report on Female Sexuality as a birthday gift. She told me that if i wanted to know what made her click in bed i had to read this book! Lol.

Anyways i finally saw my first sp and the weeks leading to it were quite nerve-wracking & several times i nearly backed out of it. Guilt was starting to take over me. But i had been single for two years & no longer in any type of relationship where there was commitment so really what should i feel guilty about? But i also was aware that when you see one escort you’re basically branded a john forever! Was i willing to accept this fact & would i be willing to deal with it? And if i liked it would i want to continue doing this? Knowing i suffer from OCD i could very easily get lost in all this considering how addicted to sex i already was. Anyways as history would have it i gave in to temptation & saw my first sp & had a good time. Wearing a condom wasn’t the easiest thing, to be honest. The key was not thinking about it. It ended up going ok but she had to finish me off with a bbbj. But by the next day the guilt feelings returned so i cancelled my next booking. The next day i got some very bad news from home so to help me cope with this i saw another sp & that was a mistake. My mind wasn’t into this at all! She even told me that maybe i wasn’t made for this type of thing & i told her that she was likely correct! So i retired from the hobby the following day! Until i changed my mind nearly a year later. Lol.

Again i had to train myself to get used to condoms again prior to my next trip to Mtl. Finally saw another sp the following summer & it went better than expected. We had a couple of glasses of wine before the action started so being a bit tipsy made not thinking about the condom easier. I mentioned this to her & she replied several of her clients also mentioned using condoms wasn’t easy when (especially for her married clients) they were used to not using them in their previous or present relationships. But she added that over time her clients got used to them but it took a while. She did say that others never had a problem but they were guys in their early 20’s. As for me i was in my early 30’s bu then. Luckily for me i looked younger than i was & i was in fantastic physical condition so being able to have younger sex partners had never really been a problem for me. Heck i was in my early 30’s & one girl thought i was 21 or 22! Lol. I loved the compliment! About a year later i discovered what made me entirely forget about the condom i was wearing: VIAGRA. Omg! That was a sexual life changer for me! A doctor friend of mine had given me a sample to try (for the fun of it) and the first time i ever tried it was with an sp named Racquelle and it totally blew my mind! I was so turned on that night that i couldn’t take having a permanent hard-on that for the first time ever i called another sp about an hour or so after she left! Omg! I was in sex heaven! So i figured that was it for me so i decided to go to bed at around midnight. However i couldn’t fall asleep & kept thinking of the great sex i had just had & i was hard again so finally at 1am i decided to call LFMJ and booked another girl! By 2am she still hadn’t arrived so i figured she’d never show & maybe it was for the best so i decided to go back to bed and about 15 minutes later i heard a knock on the door & they had sent a replacement! But omg she was one of the hottest girls i had ever seen in person & told her i didn’t mind that she was a replacement & told her to not only come in but i booked her for another hour! Then later i added another hour! We even had sex outside on the hotel balcony! That had happened twice in the same night! I was in heaven! Condom? Forgot i was wearing one! The sex was phenomenal! I love condoms! Lol.

Anyways over the years i realized that many of the girls in the biz had boyfriends. A couple of them i met even had a husband at home. And i really doubt any of them used condoms away from the hobby. The ones i asked told me that their boyfriends would ditch them if they forced them to wear condoms. One sp that i befriended early on told me that when she’d take time off from the biz she’d feel like letting loose at times & would go out on her own just to meet a guy she could fuck randomly & added that she’d do it without condoms. She said that this is how she’d separate herself from her escort personna. The escort always has safe sex & uses condoms, the real person is promiscuous & doesn’t use condoms. I thought it was kind of fucked up but in a strange way i totally got it. It was like a coping mechanism. Of course she told me this during dinner & was feeling a bit tipsy from the wine we were having so she probably never would have mentioned this to me totally sober. We had only known one another for a few weeks, after all.

Bbfs & other things (Part 2)

Later another sp i befriended & whom I’d regularly han out with when i travelled to Mtl (and who went on a trip to the Dominican Republic with me once) once told me over drinks at the Doubletree (then the Hyatt) that on the previous evening she & her then boyfriend had rented a room at the Nelligan & decided to have a threesome. So they called an sp from a then reputable agency and later when she was in the room with them she casually asked them of they used condoms when they had sex. They replied they did not. So according to my former sp friend the girl looked at her boyfriend & then said “Well then i won’t oblige you to wear a condom with me if you don’t feel like it.” My sp friend told me that she felt totally disgusted and told her “Forget it! If he fucks you it’ll happen with him wearing a fucking condom, i guarantee it!” I chuckled when she told me this story. Jokingly i asked “Tell me who’s the girl! I want to meet her!” Lol. She said what disgusted her fact she offered it to her boyfriend but that it now looked fairly obvious that she likely offered it to others previously. She then looked at me and said seriously: “The reason i won’t tell you who it is is because knowing you you’ll see her out of curiosity & a girl like her is the last thing i want you to see if i’m a friend of yours.” I replied “What if i’ve already met her?” She remained silent. Lol.

Another time i saw a girl from the same reputable agency. She was gorgeous & i liked her sense of humor. After the second time i saw her i posted a review. It was my second review of her. About an hour later someone who read the review messaged me & asked “Hey Doc i just read your review. I have a question & if you’re uncomfortable answering you don’t have to. I know this wasn’t the first time you saw her. Did she ever tell you that you don’t have to wear a condom before sex? The reason i ask is that i saw her several times myself & this girl is a fucking psycho! The previous time she told me i didn’t have to wear one if i didn’t feel like wearing one. I wore one anyway. Then last time when i saw her she ordered me not to wear a condom & got upset when i told her there was no fucking way that i’d have sex with her without a condom! This girl is a fucking psycho & i’m never seeing her again! I also text another guy who saw her a few times & supposedly the same thing happened to him so that’s why i decided to reach out to you!” I was stunned. But in a twisted way i then began wondering why i hadn’t received the same treatment. Why not me? What’s wrong with me?” Lol. By then i had seen that girl three times (not two actually) & before leaving she had asked me if she could give me her phone number & we could see one another outside the agency setting. She said it would be better for us this way. So i said sure, why not? After writing down her number she then added “If i don’t answer after the second ring hang up. And don’t text me. My boyfriend reads my texts & i don’t want him to beat the crap out of me again!” Anyways i never called or saw her again. Lol.

Final story. Met this sp at an agency party. She was attractive but i was mostly attracted by her spunky personality. Later she asked me when we were going to het laid. A couple of other girls had mentioned me & she wondered when it would be her turn. I laughed & asked her when would she be working next. She replied that she was ready right now if i wanted. That i could have her for the entire night if i wanted. She was ready. I thanked her but told her that i had drank too much so leaving with her would be a waste. She said she didn’t mind & guaranteed the fact i had drank wouldn’t be a problem. Again i politely thanked her for the offer & promised i’d call to see her the next time i saw her on schedule. Anyways although i was extremely tempted to see her i didn’t see her on that trip. However about three months later she popped back onto the scene with a different agency. So i decided to call & she was available. When she arrived she surprisingly remembered me. “I was starting to give up on you!”, she joked. “You had promised to see me!” I apologized & told her that something had come up & then she seemed to have disappeared from the scene. I told her i figured maybe she had left the business. “Oh i just had to take a break for medical reasons. Plus my old agency fired me so it took me a few weeks to decide where i wanted to work at next.”

Anyways we had a glass of wine before hitting the bed & she was even better than i imagined! When we were done I complimented her on her skills and she replied “When i’m with someone i like & want to be with i’m at my best!” Okay. Good answer, i guess. Lol. Anyways we had time to kill (i had booked her for two hours) so while having more wine i got intuitive & asked her about the medical problem she had since i was quite knowledgeable medically at the time. “Nothing serious to worry about. I got pregnant so i had to take time off.” What?? That was only like three months ago, i thought. “How did this happen? I didn’t know you had a boyfriend. You obviously aren’t pregnant any longer & you didn’t look pregant when i met you at the party!” She casually replied “No, no. I likely was pregnant at the time but didn’t know it. Once i found out it felt like my life was turned upside down but i ended up having an abortion.” Holy shit! Then she added “I wasn’t even sure who was the father. At first i thought about keeping it but i realized i didn’t even know who the father was so what kind of life would my kid have? So a friend of mine offered to help pay for the abortion.” Wow. So i asked her how she ended up getting pregnant & she confessed “It’s likely one of possibly three clients i had. I’m not sure which one but i approached all three about my situation & the fuckers all deny that it could be them! Assholes!” Wow. I was speechless. Holy shit! I didn’t expect to hear this type of stuff when i booked her! I thought it was going to be a memorable night! But not like this! Lol. So i dug deeper & asked her how it could happen…she had sex with clients without using condoms? Why? She replied that with one guy she was really into him & had drank so one thing led to another & it happened. Another time with another client she liked & had seen a few times she had agreed to go on a trip with him for a weekend & again one thing led to another & it happened. Both of them had been drinking. Of course. So i joked “Okay, no more wine! No more drinking tonight!” Then the third one? “Oh it was one of my drivers. It was at the end of the night & we had been teasing one another since we met & it finally happened. We did it in his car!” Holy shit, i thought i had heard everything! Lol. But that wasn’t the end of it. “Two of them were married men with kids!” Wow! What a fucking nightmare, i thought. So much negligence from all sides!

Anyways the moral of my story is: Shit happens & has always happened & will likely continue to happen. We are not a perfect species. Human beings are very flawed. Extremely flawed. And when sex is involved it seems that more often than not all common sense goes right out the window! That’s the reality of it. We all make mistakes & we all have had lapses in judgement. Some worse than others, unfortunately.

Long story short, its out there, always been and will always be. I can relate to Doc, my active sex life started mid ‘70s, had a crazy amount of partners and condoms were no where to be seen, all active girls were on the pills. Lucky me, I never caught any STIs my entire life. I do get tested regularly, 4-6 times a year.

I started using condom in the late ‘90s and, yeah it was a big downer, as you can imagine after 20 years of not using any. Only when I started hobbying, around 2006, it became mandatory to me. It was a tedious training but I managed, Although I can still get a mementory loss of erection due to it.

Why is this thread now turning into journaling about BBFS ? I feel like it should have been deleted already..

We know it's hard for men over a certain age to get used to condoms. They tell us about it all the time. but having unprotected sex doesn't have the same implications outside of this industry and casual sex ...

There's also a rise of STIs not because of this industry but because of how popular casual sex and non monogamous relationships are. At least that's what I've been told at the clinic where I get tested, and it was in a very non judgmental tone. People aren't used to protection for oral sex and more partners means more risk. It just means people need to get tested more often and they need to be mindful.

Yes some women prefer not to use them but we also get pressured by men since we become sexually active not to use them. I think that's off topic tho. You can't talk about your sex life outside of what you call "the hobby" and expect the same things.

Julia Sky said:

Why is this thread now turning into journaling about BBFS ? I feel like it should have been deleted already..

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79 posts and counting, mods seem to think diferently.

Journaling??

Cap'tain Fantastic said:

79 posts and counting, mods seem to think diferently.

Journaling??

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Mods seem to think differently but we still don't know what the rules are exactly. Are we allowed to talk about it or not?

Cap'tain Fantastic said:

79 posts and counting, mods seem to think diferently.

Journaling??

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The 2 posts above yours are an entire journal in 2 parts lol. Well, idk if journal is the right word in English. Dear diary/cher journal.

Lunaseraphim said:

Mods seem to think differently but we still don't know what the rules are exactly. Are we allowed to talk about it or not?

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The thread would have been erased a long time ago if it was not allowed. Its pretty clear to me:

1. Posts alleging BBFS, substance abuse or health issues will not be permitted.

As of today thats all I can find on the subject!

Not so long ago, it really said "discussion of BBFS" were not allowed. It seems to have changed but on TERB, it's stille the case "Posts alleging substance abuse or health issues will also not be permitted, as well as allegations or discussion of BBFS."

But, whatever.

Giselle Montreal said:

Not so long ago, it really said "discussion of BBFS" were not allowed. It seems to have changed but on TERB, it's stille the case "Posts alleging substance abuse or health issues will also not be permitted, as well as allegations or discussion of BBFS."

But, whatever.

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This! It also downright said "writing about it in any other context", as per mod posts we can still easily find. I'm not sure why someone went out of their way to modify that rule specifically but, as you say : whatever

Je ne suis pas en désaccord avec l’idée de permettre d’en discuter comme phénomène, sans le valoriser ni le promouvoir. L’interdiction de toute mention me rappelle mes années d’école secondaire où, on ne parlait pas de drogues, ni à l’école, ni à la maison. Et, de fait, je crois que ma génération a été celle qui a le plus banalisé l’usage de drogues!

Cap'tain Fantastic said:

Je ne suis pas en désaccord avec l’idée de permettre d’en discuter comme phénomène, sans le valoriser ni le promouvoir. L’interdiction de toute mention me rappelle mes années d’école secondaire où, on ne parlait pas de drogues, ni à l’école, ni à la maison. Et, de fait, je crois que ma génération a été celle qui a le plus banalisé l’usage de drogues!

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Je suis d'accord avec l'idée de posts qui mentionnent les dangers de cette pratique dans la section health et peut-être un post épinglé dans le lounge, à limite, mais j'ai du mal à comprendre en quoi c'est pertinent quand les gens se mettent à nous parler des fois où quelqu'un leur a offert ou à nous raconter unprompted la vie privée des escortes qu'ils ont rencontrées, même si c'est sans les nommer. On sait tous que les gens se parlent en privé et que ce genre de post mène à des échanges de noms pour des raisons souvent néfastes (rechercher ce type de service ou au contraire véhiculer des rumeurs).

Cap'tain Fantastic said:

The thread would have been erased a long time ago if it was not allowed. Its pretty clear to me:

1. Posts alleging BBFS, substance abuse or health issues will not be permitted.

As of today thats all I can find on the subject!

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I guess that means you can't mention BBFs, substance abuse or health issues in reviews and I think that's a pretty good policy. I also agree that too much censorship isn't necessarily useful. Personally my issue with it is the context.. for instance here OP is talking about an experience with a specific SP, I've seen other posts like this one and even if it's not his intention I'm sure some people messaged him privately to find out who it is..

Julia Sky said:

Je suis d'accord avec l'idée de posts qui mentionnent les dangers de cette pratique dans la section health et peut-être un post épinglé dans le lounge, à limite, mais j'ai du mal à comprendre en quoi c'est pertinent quand les gens se mettent à nous parler des fois où quelqu'un leur a offert ou à nous raconter unprompted la vie privée des escortes qu'ils ont rencontrées, même si c'est sans les nommer. On sait tous que les gens se parlent en privé et que ce genre de post mène à des échanges de noms pour des raisons souvent néfastes (rechercher ce type de service ou au contraire véhiculer des rumeurs).

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J'ai un problème avec ça aussi. C'est pas seulement à propos des BBFs il y a beaucoup de rumeurs et de "vague posting" et souvent il y a un manque de contexte.. en effet je ne trouve pas ça pertinent, parfois ça semble être une façon de contourner les règles à propos des reviews, ou juste de créer des discussions en messages privés à propos de certaines escortes qui ne sont pas nécessaires.

Giselle Montreal said:

Not so long ago, it really said "discussion of BBFS" were not allowed. It seems to have changed but on TERB, it's stille the case "Posts alleging substance abuse or health issues will also not be permitted, as well as allegations or discussion of BBFS."

But, whatever.

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We also weren't advised that this rule changed, and why.. it would be nice to have an explanation. I'm sure there's a good reason for it