Am I alone? Mental discomfort at the sight of scantily clad women in public.

AnthonyAnderson · 2026-04-18T14:41:06-0400

[This is going to be off-brand for an escort review board, but I have nowhere/no one else to ask except ChatGPT, so here we go]

Today is the first day of the year with Summer-like weather and I went shopping downtown. I noticed, like last year, a lot of young women–some with their boyfriends–wearing very revealing clothing. The amount of skin showing seems to be increasing every year. I personally do not enjoy the feelings that come with encountering this type of stimulus, and always having to "look elsewhere" when I am simply out and about. Despite my basic knowledge in psychology, I also don't understand why women dress like this when they are already partnered (i.e holding hands with a man). What is going on, and I am alone as a young(ish) man who would prefer not be distracted by very visible sexual stimuli in public? I can assure you this is 100% honest and not trolling and I am curious to see if I can find at least a modicum of understanding/clarification of the situation. Thank you.

curiouslr1 · 2026-04-18T14:51:44-0400

They're not dressing like that for you, they're dressing like that because they want to. If you can't live your life around people wearing summer clothes, that's on you. I've spent countless days in nudist campgrounds where everyone's naked and it didn't prevent me from living my life, so I'm sure you can get over a pair of mini shorts.

Honestly, I think you're just immature (no offense, I was too) and will get over it as you become wiser, I wouldn't worry about it. Live your life, try to get over it, it's just a matter of time.

AnthonyAnderson · 2026-04-18T15:05:29-0400

curiouslr1 said:
They're not dressing like that for you, they're dressing like that because they want to. If you can't live your life around people wearing summer clothes, that's on you. I've spent countless days in nudist campgrounds where everyone's naked and it didn't prevent me from living my life, so I'm sure you can get over a pair of mini shorts.

Honestly, I think you're just immature (no offense, I was too) and will get over it as you become wiser, I wouldn't worry about it. Live your life, try to get over it, it's just a matter of time.

I can assure you that I am not immature, but thank you for providing the perspective of a nudist.

Cap'tain Fantastic · 2026-04-18T15:08:14-0400

AnthonyAnderson said:
What is going on, and I am alone as a young(ish) man who would prefer not be distracted by very visible sexual stimuli in public?

You could move to Saoudi Arabia, Iran, Afaghanistan… problems solved!

AnthonyAnderson · 2026-04-18T15:10:56-0400

Cap'tain Fantastic said:
You could move to Saoudi Arabia, Iran, Afaghanistan… problems solved!

Actually what I need is someone to help me understand why I feel like this. And most likely it won't come from this board, but I am giving it a try!

Cap'tain Fantastic · 2026-04-18T15:13:27-0400

AnthonyAnderson said:
I can assure you that I am not immature, but thank you for providing the perspective of a nudist.

I don’t know if you are mature or not but you sure sound like my grandfather who would be 128 years old today!

Cap'tain Fantastic · 2026-04-18T15:15:25-0400

AnthonyAnderson said:
Despite my basic knowledge in psychology

Maybe its too basic, you might want to dig a little bit deeper

Lunaseraphim · 2026-04-18T15:23:31-0400

Dude, women don't dress in fashionable ways to attract men. We do it for ourselves. Not everything women do revolves around men and their gaze. Honestly, I think you feel that way because you have view women in a way that is outdated and honestly problematic, and it's obvious that you feel lonely and a little bit angry that women express themselves in a way that make you feel a certain way while you are not partnered and don't have access to sexual and romantic connections outside of ''the hobbby''. It's understandable but you gotta get over this.

I think it would help you to actually talk to real people and stop antagonizing random people you see on the street (mostly women). Maybe if you opened your heart and learned to be more flexible in your view of the world, you would attract good people to you. I'm not saying this to be mean, just trying to help. I understand feeling resentment when isolated but it does take an effort to get out of that isolation and it involves being willing to listen to what others lives are like and what they think and feel.

AnthonyAnderson · 2026-04-18T15:30:47-0400

Lunaseraphim said:
Dude, women don't dress in fashionable ways to attract men. We do it for ourselves. Not everything women do revolves around men and their gaze. Honestly, I think you feel that way because you have view women in a way that is outdated and honestly problematic, and it's obvious that you feel lonely and a little bit angry that women express themselves in a way that make you feel a certain way while you are not partnered and don't have access to sexual and romantic connections outside of ''the hobbby''. It's understandable but you gotta get over this.

I think it would help you to actually talk to real people and stop antagonizing random people you see on the street (mostly women). Maybe if you opened your heart and learned to be more flexible in your view of the world, you would attract good people to you. I'm not saying this to be mean, just trying to help.

Harsh, but helpful as a starting point. Thank you.

Rebaynia · 2026-04-18T15:34:27-0400

AnthonyAnderson said:
[This is going to be off-brand for an escort review board, but I have nowhere/no one else to ask except ChatGPT, so here we go]

Today is the first day of the year with Summer-like weather and I went shopping downtown. I noticed, like last year, a lot of young women–some with their boyfriends–wearing very revealing clothing. The amount of skin showing seems to be increasing every year. I personally do not enjoy the feelings that come with encountering this type of stimulus, and always having to "look elsewhere" when I am simply out and about. Despite my basic knowledge in psychology, I also don't understand why women dress like this when they are already partnered (i.e holding hands with a man). What is going on, and I am alone as a young(ish) man who would prefer not be distracted by very visible sexual stimuli in public? I can assure you this is 100% honest and not trolling and I am curious to see if I can find at least a modicum of understanding/clarification of the situation. Thank you.

Women dress how they dress for themselves. It is so we feel confident when we head out. Shouldn't dress like that because shes with someone, he likes her dressing like that, it doesn't matter if you like what she is wearing, he, her bf does, and if he doesn't, then he needs to realize she may not be the right match long term for him.

When I dress in the morning. I dress to appease myself. I hide my insecurities, I highlight my strengths, I dress up to catter to what puts a smile on my face. Once I step away from the mirror, I don't give a second thought to how I look until I see reactions from others that confirm they like how Ilook too. But I look cute because that's how I feel good to take on the day. It is often women and children who catch my attention as they appreciate, not even the men. (Not that I don't care if men like. But women and children are a harder audience to please with fasion. The effort seems more discouraging to the attention of men in public than encouraging. At least they seem to still like it in private.)

As for what's shown by someone who is in a relationship.

I have to watch what I am wearing around Master in public. Not because he will see it as inappropriate. Because he will purposely try to show me off. It caters to his exhibitionist nature. Alone, the wind might lift my skirt accidentally, giving a peek-a-boo view, with him, provided adults only in the vicinity, he will purposely give me a kiss & hug to lift the skirt in back to show my ass off. (Also caters to his/our swinger side too.)

We dress like we do for ourselves not to try and make you uncomfortable.

Rebaynia · 2026-04-18T16:08:00-0400

AnthonyAnderson said:
Actually what I need is someone to help me understand why I feel like this. And most likely it won't come from this board, but I am giving it a try!

Why you feel that way....? I can come up with a few guesses, but they would only be guesses about someone from a questionably worded post, about a very delicate topic in the mainstream right now. Not someone I am meeting in private and able to feel vibe and understand intent. But I will take your question honestly, and how I interpret so far from what is written here already.

The way my brain works, I evaluate my bodily reactions and impulses kind of like you are describing. So assuming you are a form of divergent as this isn't how others seem to reflect for understanding. So will also speak in a way that mindset would best understand. If you aren't, I'm sorry if it is worded as it is.

How exposed have you been to nudity in your life? Like mentioned earlier by someone else who understands nudist form. You become exposed enough to the human figure in a nonsexual context that you can see someone beyond being a sexual object for your pleasure. (The sensitivity to the visual stimulation)

Then there is a lot of loud men online telling younger men how they should see and treat women, disrespectfully, and encouraging old school, patriarchal views that also suppress women and teach young men to have no respect for women. That women are here for men's purposes, and removes the realization that women are people too and have rights too, and their own atonomy. (Reaction to what you see being negative.)

I'm not sure how old you are. I'm assuming young man because of the questions again, but refering to feeling the need to look away at young couples tells me you might be older and closer to 30's feeling it inappropriate to look at younger. It's good you try to be respectful, and you try not to linger, stare, or any of it. Fair enough if you're reacting and don't want that to become apparent. But it also sounds like this is coming late. This type of involuntary reactions in public. I know it is common in teenage boys, and it's often in that stage of life men learn to get it under control. If your just a late bloomer to your sexual awakening it could be confusing going threw it outside highschool where if it is braught up as lockerroom talk, 50% if not more guys would agree to knowing what you are going threw.

Again. Nothing is ment as an insult, just disecting what has been shared so far and the behaviors i might be able to connect with what is happening in the mainstream. I could be completely off. And likely am, but if I take everything you shared right here. This is my conclusion.

Thor Jr · 2026-04-18T16:21:47-0400

The way I look at it, the less they wear, the more profitable it is for SPs. Because, I always think about my favorite lady and what time can I see her. She knows who she is. Everything these days makes me think of her.

That reminds me...

11:11 · 2026-04-18T16:26:30-0400

AnthonyAnderson said:
Harsh, but helpful as a starting point. Thank you.

Yep harsh… sometimes better to not say anything. Acts like she knows you inside and out. Oh well…

AnthonyAnderson · 2026-04-18T17:16:46-0400

Lunaseraphim said:
Dude, women don't dress in fashionable ways to attract men. We do it for ourselves.

It's guess it's a bit of both, but I underestimated the second part (ChatGPT is actually a useful tool of learning...). What I still don't understand–and that was not the main point of my post–is that when I was in school ,at the beginning the internet , the mainstream discourse was that the media was to blame for "hypersexualizing" women (mostly through advertizing. Remember car ads, AXE commercials: how these were super controversial, etc. The years of the powerful mainstream media before the internet). Now, it seems that women are hypersexualizing themselves, and it is widely accepted as normal. Clearly there has been a cultural shift. Again, my post was more about trying to make sense of my feelings, but I think this cultural angle is also interesting, and I'm still not sure why this shift happened.

2fast2slow · 2026-04-18T17:44:10-0400

AnthonyAnderson said:
It's guess it's a bit of both, but I underestimated the second part (ChatGPT is actually a useful tool of learning...). What I still don't understand–and that was not the main point of my post–is that when I was in school ,at the beginning the internet , the mainstream discourse was that the media was to blame for "hypersexualizing" women (mostly through advertizing. Remember car ads, AXE commercials: how these were super controversial, etc. The years of the powerful mainstream media before the internet). Now, it seems that women are hypersexualizing themselves, and it is widely accepted as normal. Clearly there has been a cultural shift. Again, my post was more about trying to make sense of my feelings, but I think this cultural angle is also interesting, and I'm still not sure why this shift happened.

i totally get how you feel, as I have often felt the exact same way. We are hyper aware of physically attractive women, and when the weather gets warm (finally) and the cute girls seem to be evrywhere, it can be a little distracting. They are sexualized, we are sexualized, modern society is sexualized...I'm pretty sure this is a new area in human history. What gets me are those very sheer skin tights, where you can actually see the outline of the vulva, the dimples on the glutes, etc.

But hey, they can dress how they want, and I can feel how I want. I try not to stare, and look forward to my next encounter with a sex worker.

AnthonyAnderson · 2026-04-18T18:46:58-0400

Rebaynia said:
I still struggle and I'm human. At least that's what the emotions indicate.

When someone asks how am I feeling, I analyze the blood pressure I am feeling, if I'm stressed it feels like rushing, or my gut for that butterfly feeling

An emotion is our appraisal (in the brain) of the body's natural response to an external stimulus.* So in that regard your experience is totally normal. With respect to my original question, I guess I'm trying to understand why I have a negative mental reaction to some form of female sexual expression in public. I didn't expect you to have a complete answer, but thank you for sharing some insights and your personal experience in your previous replies. Luna has provided some useful insight as well.

(*) For those who doubt my knowledge of psychology, this is the Appraisal theory of Richard Lazarus based off the pioneering work of William James in the early 20th century.

AnthonyAnderson · 2026-04-18T19:12:31-0400

Cap'tain Fantastic said:
Maybe its too basic, you might want to dig a little bit deeper

I had very few opportunities to learn through experience until recently–and it was rather difficult learning–so I am learning through textbooks, and it's still a work in progress.

Alicemay · 2026-04-18T21:43:17-0400

AnthonyAnderson said:
[This is going to be off-brand for an escort review board, but I have nowhere/no one else to ask except ChatGPT, so here we go]

Today is the first day of the year with Summer-like weather and I went shopping downtown. I noticed, like last year, a lot of young women–some with their boyfriends–wearing very revealing clothing. The amount of skin showing seems to be increasing every year. I personally do not enjoy the feelings that come with encountering this type of stimulus, and always having to "look elsewhere" when I am simply out and about. Despite my basic knowledge in psychology, I also don't understand why women dress like this when they are already partnered (i.e holding hands with a man). What is going on, and I am alone as a young(ish) man who would prefer not be distracted by very visible sexual stimuli in public? I can assure you this is 100% honest and not trolling and I am curious to see if I can find at least a modicum of understanding/clarification of the situation. Thank you.

Omg you would hate to be my neighbor I garden topless .

Alicemay · 2026-04-18T21:46:54-0400

Alicemay said:
Omg you would hate to be my neighbor I garden topless c’est pour faire rougir les tomates

twenty4seven · 2026-04-19T03:21:26-0400

AnthonyAnderson said:
What is going on, and I am alone as a young(ish) man who would prefer not be distracted by very visible sexual stimuli in public? I can assure you this is 100% honest and not trolling and I am curious to see if I can find at least a modicum of understanding/clarification of the situation. Thank you.

I can say with honesty that I personally love getting distracted by very visible sexual stimuli in public. Pop them thangs, ladies, or not, do as you wish, but I appreciate it when you do.

Jokes aside, it's important to acknowledge what the women have said here, mainly that they're dressing that way because they want to, regardless of whether it draws the attention/judgement of others. Also, what you may perceive as sexual stimuli is just based on your experiences thus far and every generation has to come to terms with the following generations' dress (or lack thereof). There was a time when women rarely showed ankles and those people would have been mortified to see what even your parents wore growing up, likely.

Am I alone? Mental discomfort at the sight of scantily clad women in public.

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