http://titsandsass.com/getting-away-with-hating-it-consent-in-the-context-of-sex-work/
Here's an interesting article from a self-described professional escort. Here's a piece of it:
On the one hand, the very nature of being an escort means that it's unrealistic to expect that you will enjoy every session. On the other hand, being this guarded about enjoying the moment, and in fact, almost taking pride that clients know that you're not really enjoying your time just signals to me that you don't enjoy your profession.
Coming from the point of view that most women I've met did not seem coerced into what they were doing, but were doing it by choice, in some sessions it was clear to me that they simply were not in the mood and were in it for the money. I mostly don't take it personal. Sometimes the sessions leave you feeling unattractive and cheated. On the other hand, there have been sessions where the chemistry is right where I felt a swell of positive emotions. So far, it's hard to predict how a session will turn out. I take comfort in that even if she clearly wasn't enjoying it, at least I got to see and experience her body. A seldom few times I felt deeply disrespected (they were in a bad mood, they made all sorts of excuses to end it as soon as possible, they repeatedly expressed worries about contracting an STI), but when seeing a high number of women, those are probably inevitable.
At least as a client, I have some control over my state of mind before calling and I do my best to do it on days where I already feel great and not to do it on days when I'm trying to fill some kind of emptiness inside me. That has worked well. As a john, the fear is paying for an experience that makes us feel unattractive and unwanted. As a lady of the night, sometimes you have to do the job even when you're not in the mood and the chemistry is bad. Although I'd wish you'd reject me early on if you don't think you can have a good time with me, I'm willing to gamble until such time as it's become too obvious you're here just for the cash. Since pay is by the hour and not by the 'quality of the service', I have no choice in that matter.
In the end though, the many amazing experience I've had easily let me forget the few bad ones, which is why I continue doing this hobby. I am not trying to have a piece of your soul, as the article mentions. In all honestly, the word that best describes what I am looking for is entertaining company and a good time. Good chemistry often helps with that, and while I do maintain and respect boundaries, I would hate to feel as though there is zero authenticity and pleasure on your side 99% of the time, as the author seems to imply.
Here's an interesting article from a self-described professional escort. Here's a piece of it:
On the one hand, the very nature of being an escort means that it's unrealistic to expect that you will enjoy every session. On the other hand, being this guarded about enjoying the moment, and in fact, almost taking pride that clients know that you're not really enjoying your time just signals to me that you don't enjoy your profession.
Coming from the point of view that most women I've met did not seem coerced into what they were doing, but were doing it by choice, in some sessions it was clear to me that they simply were not in the mood and were in it for the money. I mostly don't take it personal. Sometimes the sessions leave you feeling unattractive and cheated. On the other hand, there have been sessions where the chemistry is right where I felt a swell of positive emotions. So far, it's hard to predict how a session will turn out. I take comfort in that even if she clearly wasn't enjoying it, at least I got to see and experience her body. A seldom few times I felt deeply disrespected (they were in a bad mood, they made all sorts of excuses to end it as soon as possible, they repeatedly expressed worries about contracting an STI), but when seeing a high number of women, those are probably inevitable.
At least as a client, I have some control over my state of mind before calling and I do my best to do it on days where I already feel great and not to do it on days when I'm trying to fill some kind of emptiness inside me. That has worked well. As a john, the fear is paying for an experience that makes us feel unattractive and unwanted. As a lady of the night, sometimes you have to do the job even when you're not in the mood and the chemistry is bad. Although I'd wish you'd reject me early on if you don't think you can have a good time with me, I'm willing to gamble until such time as it's become too obvious you're here just for the cash. Since pay is by the hour and not by the 'quality of the service', I have no choice in that matter.
In the end though, the many amazing experience I've had easily let me forget the few bad ones, which is why I continue doing this hobby. I am not trying to have a piece of your soul, as the article mentions. In all honestly, the word that best describes what I am looking for is entertaining company and a good time. Good chemistry often helps with that, and while I do maintain and respect boundaries, I would hate to feel as though there is zero authenticity and pleasure on your side 99% of the time, as the author seems to imply.
