Canadian divorce agreement

[Sol Tee Nutz]

Found this online, entertaining.
DIVORCE AGREEMENT......
THIS IS SO INCREDIBLY WELL PUT That I can hardly believe it was designed by a young student. Whatever, or whenever he runs for some spot in politics, I’ll vote for him. The person who wrote this is a college (law) student. Perhaps there is hope for them after all. I have adapted it to relate to Canada.

DIVORCE AGREEMENT
Dear Canadian liberals, leftists, social progressives, socialists, Marxists and Castro supporters, et al: We have stuck together for 150 years for the sake of the kids, but the whole of this latest election process has made me realize that I want a divorce. I know we tolerated each other for many years for the sake of future generations, but sadly, this relationship has clearly run its course.

Our two ideological sides of Canada cannot and will not ever agree on what is right for us all, so let's just end it on friendly terms. We can smile and chalk it up to irreconcilable differences and go our own way.

HERE IS OUR SEPARATION AGREEMENT:
Our two groups can equitably divide up the country by landmass each taking a similar portion. We will settle for less landmass if we get the right portion, which must include Alberta & Saskatchewan.
That will be the difficult part, but I am sure our two sides can come to a friendly agreement. After that, it should be relatively easy given the favouritism divide.

Our respective representatives can effortlessly divide other assets since both sides have such distinct and disparate tastes.
--We don't like redistributive taxes so you can keep them. You can also keep the Carbon Tax.
--You are welcome to the liberal judges, CUPE and UNIFOR.
--Since you hate guns, and war, we'll take our firearms, the police, and the military.
--We'll take the nasty, smelly oil industry and the coal mines, and you can go with wind, solar and biodiesel.
--You can keep Butts, Barbie, Shannon & Suzuki. You are, however, responsible for finding a bio-diesel vehicle big enough to move all four of them.
--We'll keep capitalism, greedy corporations, the farmers, Wal-Mart and the TSE.
--You can have your beloved lifelong welfare dwellers, food vouchers, homeless, homeboys, hippies, druggies and illegal aliens.
--We'll keep the greedy CEO's and rednecks.
--You can make nice with Iran and Palestine and we'll retain the right to help invade and hammer places that threaten us.
--You can have the peaceniks, the pipeline and war protesters, and anti-everything economically beneficial crowd.
-- When our allies or our way of life are under assault, we'll help provide security.
--We'll keep our Judeo-Christian values.
--You are welcome to Islam, Scientology, Humanism, peoplekind, political correctness and Mr Dress Up. You can also have our share of the U.N. We will no longer be paying any part of that bill.
--We'll keep the SUV's, pickup trucks and oversized luxury cars. You can take every Volt, Tesla and Leaf you can find.
--You can give everyone free and regulated everything healthcare…. if you can find any practicing doctors.
--We'll keep "God Save the Queen" and "The Old National Anthem words."
--I'm sure you'll be happy to substitute "Imagine"or "I'd Like to Teach the World to Sing", with "Kum Ba Ya" or "We Are the World".
--We'll practice trickle-down economics and you can continue to give trickle up poverty your best shot.
--Since it often so offends you, we'll keep our history, our language, the war memorials and the Queens picture.

Would you agree to this? If so, please pass it along to other like-minded liberals and socialists. And if you do not agree, just hit delete. In the spirit of friendly parting, I'll bet you might think about which one of us will need whose help in 15 years.
Sincerely, Anonymous Law Student

P.S. Also, please only invite Leonard DiCaprio, Sean Penn, Martin & Charlie Sheen, Michael Moore, Barbara Streisand, and Hanoi Jane Fonda to your portion of landmass.
P.S.S. And you won't have to press 1 for English when you call our country.
Let's Keep This Going, Maybe Some Of It Will Start Sinking in.

 

[Titilleur]

In 15 years, most of those conservatives will be dead... They'll shoot each other for no reason and blame the blacks and the muslims... But wait, blacks and muslims can't kill anyone if all the guns are on the conservatives side. It does not matter, the conservatives just need to tell a lie three times and everyone will believe them.

 

[Sol Tee Nutz]

In 15 years, most of those conservatives will be dead... They'll shoot each other for no reason and blame the blacks and the muslims... But wait, blacks and muslims can't kill anyone if all the guns are on the conservatives side. It does not matter, the conservatives just need to tell a lie three times and everyone will believe them.

Love it when people like you respond, proves my point about political ignorance. Conservatives are not old, they are about half the population, the divide is east and west mainly. We are not against Muslims we are against open borders and changing our laws to please Muslims, where does your black comment come from? Just embellishing for effects? Gun control, do you actually think we have a problem in Canada? Do you only want criminals to have guns or are you naive enough to believe that? Lies, that is the best one, Justine's whole campaign is based on lies, his ministers lie, tried to blame the India terrorist invite on India, defense minister lied about his war roles, that skank Monasat ( spelled wrong ) lied on her citizenship. The entire east of Canada is so much in debt and high taxes due to liberals and you just eat it up.
Conservatives want low taxes and a low cost of living, something the Iiberals can not offer. The entire world sees Justine as a joke and people like you see him as a leader... Think about it.

 

[exnocomment]

Fiscally conservative and socially liberal. This does not speak to me at all.

I probably pay 20-30x “average” persons tax bill and I grumble and gripe and desire more efficiency but most of the stuff up there is just complete BS.

Canada is founded on the principles of “Peace, Order and Good Governance” - the American ideals of “Life, Liberty and the Pursuit of Happiness” at any and all cost is not something I am interested in at all if we have to sacrifice the societal good to do so.

And mention of firearms, religion and any mention of getting rid of universal healthcare disgusts and appalls me. This manifesto is the least Canadian thing I’ve heard in a long time. No PC politician with any real ambition would endorse even a fraction of these statements.

 

[Titilleur]

Conservatives are not old, they are about half the population, the divide is east and west mainly.

I'm still looking at my comment and can't find anything I must have said about conservatives being old... Don't put words into my mouth, please.

Also.. At least you said "mainly" because in CB there has been a conservative government since 1952. I must tell you that CB is the western most province in Canada.

Do you only want criminals to have guns or are you naive enough to believe that?

I'm just taking your original comment... You said that you would keep the firearms... That means there won't be any left for OUR criminals. Good for us.

About my thoughts on black and muslims... It's not a secret that conservatives are mainly white and don't mix well with others. Take a look at Scheer's cohort.

On taxes... It takes a dumb mind to think that someone would be happy to pay MORE taxes... Liberal just want to give to everyone the chance to earn essential goods and services. Some things can't be a giving only to those who can pay for it.

 

[Sol Tee Nutz]

In 15 years, most of those conservatives will be dead...

This was my error with the age, read the..... they wil shoot each other.... put two and two together after.
My error.

Now, you are the person who posted on a different thread that it is OK for a politician to lie, with this comment alone yu hould not talk politics, you are tainted goods.
Your statement about Conservatives against blacks and Muslims, very ignorant comment, hat about Chinese , or are they white enough for us? BTW, Quebec has the most alt right wing groups in Canada and it is a liberal province, how do you expain that?
After the mosk bombing the biggots came out of the woodwork and were online everywhere.
As for us keeing the firearms.... just think a lttle about that comment, the criminals will not give up their guns, tye comment is that we will keep all the guns the law biding citizens give up.
Again, do we have a gun issue in Canada or is our POS ruler just jumping on the band wagon trying to draw attention away from all his recent fuck ups.
Again, with your cmment that it is OK for politicians to lie you should keep away from these threads.
And you lett8mg me know that BC is the most western province, holy fuck, I never knew that, did you look it up?

 

[rumpleforeskiin]

Just a couple of quick questions for you, Sol.

1. Considering your disdain for the French population and their language, do you spend time with Quebecoise escorts?

2. Assuming the answer is yes, do you let them know that you consider them inferior beings because of the language they were brought up with?

 

[jalimon]

Rumple I had pretty much the same kind of question when I read:

"P.S.S. And you won't have to press 1 for English when you call our country."

In fact with just that line it made me realize the whole text is pure troll or simply written by an simple minded imbecile.

cheers,

 

[curly]

I have to say I trust neither the right nor the left. Both have created damage historically and geographically. The alternating nature of our government keeps us from going to either extremes for too long. In your divorced country, I would have to move from one parent to another every week to be happy! So why not try to make that union last instead.....

 

[Sol Tee Nutz]

Rump.. I have no hate for Qubecers, where did you get that from?
This is an article I found, not an artlcle I wrote, I did not edit what I did not agree with. You need to stop putting words into my mouth. I understand you are upset with me for mocking your paid for love of your life but you need to get over it.

Jalimon, no need to write this person off as a troll or idiot because of the 1 for English or 2 for French, many people are not like you and feel comfortable doing as they are told by other groups, a few here already commented about that. Some have values they do not want to change. Mant people are fed up with Quebec politicians which bleed off into the general population due to the past referendums, the way the previous governments sucked up to they and the billions in transfer payments. Justine has stoked the fire due to his hatred to the west.

Curly. There is a complete different mentality from east to west. Out west we want low taxes and jobs, do not like open borders and pay for illegals, there should be only two bathrooms, do not like our leaders cutting payments here while spending more overseas, and the list goes on. Personally I enjoy Quebec and the friends that visit like it also but the politicians suck.

 

[heliragedeleted]

Rump.. I have no hate for Qubecers, where did you get that from?

Salty... I don’t know if u can get it. But if u show it and mostly agree with it, u r in keeping with the contents of the article. Now about hating quebecers in general, the answer is yes u do hate quebecers as a group. Why ? because u hate the representatives of the moral group that in general stand for us, that is our politicians. Where u I like it or not, our politicians represent our values as a group because they grew up here they went to school here and they speak the language( language = values = morals = ethics = politics).
So u r a hater, and that is that as we say in French.
Anyways this is getting old and very tiresome, I wish the mods would permanently ban u, because i’m Getting sick of these farcicle idiotic threads.

 

[Sol Tee Nutz]

Ah yes, I am not in line with you. I have my own opinion. You seem t be like the self righteous students who want to remove everything they do not agree with. Perhaps you should move to a communist country where what is not liked by government is removed, freedom of speech, heard of it.
My posts are thoughts from myself ( not all ) and from other Canadians. Some are obviously butt hurt when other opinions are presented. Perhaps you are the one to stay off this site if you can not handle others opinions. Did you know there is a block function on this board? Perhaps you should use it if this is too upsetting to you.
And by the way... Your political party of choice will be removed next election, shows how much the current politicians are liked.
This is a political post, nothing to to with Quebecers.

This board has many Americans, probably a few that voted for Trump, do you see any of them requesting that Doc and his group be banned for life? No, they are not butt hurt and can handle the comments. There are a few Conservatves on this board also, they understand that there is little tolerance for other opinions and only comment a few times, do you see them call for a ban to the vocal Liberals. Block what you do not like and move on.
Just to add: Did not know you were the spokes person for all Quebecers, did the government get 100% of the votes? No possibility that any Quebecer has the same political view as me?

 

[rumpleforeskiin]

Salty... I don’t know if u can get it. But if u show it and mostly agree with it, u r in keeping with the contents of the article. Now about hating quebecers in general, the answer is yes u do hate quebecers as a group. Why ? because u hate the representatives of the moral group that in general stand for us, that is our politicians. Where u I like it or not, our politicians represent our values as a group because they grew up here they went to school here and they speak the language( language = values = morals = ethics = politics).
So u r a hater, and that is that as we say in French.
Anyways this is getting old and very tiresome, I wish the mods would permanently ban u, because i’m Getting sick of these farcicle idiotic threads.

Bingo. Well said.

For the record, I'm a unilingual American. I love Montreal and the primary reason is the joie de vivre with which life here is imbued. It's the French culture that is primarily responsible. Merci.

 

[Sol Tee Nutz]

^^^^^ Yes, politics brings out arguments, I get frustrated when people see the cost of living and taxes going up and people accepting that politicians can lie. I am OK until I die, it is my kids and their kids I worry about, it is the millions who live pay check to pay check and every cost increase means less for their kids. Our increasing debt means less for millions who can not afford to fund Trudeau's mission.
There seem to be two sets of rules for a few here, OK to comment about the right but keep quite about the left or face the wrath.
Right now you do not see any protests from the right, no all out public rants, when they are kicked out of power in two years or less both provincial and federal I can guarantee public outbursts and many of them. The funniest for me was when a member told me to get my hate porn away from here, took a snap of that and showed a few friends, we all had a good laugh.

 

[Oz-Man]

As others have observed, the individual who created this thread is just baiting/trolling us. Many of his threads exhibit a variant of the same rhetoric: conservatives are better than liberals, not influenced by the media and hold the correct position on every issue. It’s the same note, ad nauseum.

The fact that he feels compelled to create new threads to present the same ideas is the issue that I'm sure the mods will debate. This simply contributes to board clutter. For the most part, his posts don't venture into the realm of hate speech and, therefore, I could support the argument for allowing them—provided they are limited to a single thread.

Ultimately, this individual only seems concerned with baiting others into a debate which he quickly attempts to degenerate into name-calling. This seems to be what fuels and drives him. His goal is not to reason. Instead, it is simply to have the last word. It's the type of person who increasingly raises his voice as he's losing an argument.

This thread itself is a perfect example of the knee-jerk way in which he reacts to any views that don’t align with his. Instead of attentively reading Titilleur’s first post, he immediately misinterprets it in a way that is easier to argue against. Anyone can misread a post. The point is that he does so quite frequently. This indicates that he is not looking for constructive or interesting debate. Instead he is only looking for dissent and in doing so, he is presenting one logical fallacy after another, from false dilemma to ad hominem attacks and most notably, the straw man fallacy. In great part, this is what ultimately discredits him and his position—even without our help.

As helirage succinctly stated, these threads are getting old and very tiresome—and I would add—pretty boring.

Now go ahead, have the last word…

 

[Sol Tee Nutz]

I did not misinterpret Tittelliers post, his grammer was wrong with the age comment, It does look like the sentence ended and he started a new sentence.
Ending with a... and starting with a Capital means a new sentence, I do not read minds. Tattillier's statement in the past about it being OK for politicians to lie makes it hard to agree wih him. So you also must agree that his comment about Conservatives being rasists is also OK and it should not be disputed. His misreading the cons keeping all the guns when it says our guns. May as well point out all the points
Just to make this simple, I have an opinion, I do not bait people, I respond to comments, you can easily block me and avoid all this.
I admit my language is not the best but I have worked in camps with 90% male rednecks most of my life.
Not an apology but an explaination.

 

[rumpleforeskiin]

...I have worked in camps with 90% male rednecks most of my life.

No doubt you fit in quite well, certainly better than here.

 

[rumpleforeskiin]

Just how sophisticated do you have to be to fit in on a hooker board?

Well, when the hookers are predominantly French-Canadian and you spend a considerable amount of time disparaging their language and culture, you are not exactly fitting in.

 

[Red Paul]

Shouldn't this thread be under Politics, Religion and International Affairs?

 

[jalimon]

Shouldn't this thread be under Politics, Religion and International Affairs?

Nah! There should be a new category. Troll and other time waster subject.

Cheers,