Differences Between Lovers & SPs

[ExoticSpirit]

Here's an interesting question (I hope). If you were going to have sex with a real lover (wife or girlfriend), would you approach your time with her (technique, etc.) differently than with a SP, even a GFE SP?

For myself, I think I would be a bit more generous in terms of giving a lover pleasure whether it's eating her, more foreplay or whatever. With a SP, I think I would be more into porno style sex since I am paying as a customer.

How about you guys?

 

[Just_Jay]

My question is similar but somewhat different.

Do you think your session would change if you were being paid as the sexual provider rather than doing the paying. If so how?

Any comments from our female readers would be appreciated. If you were doing the paying, would your actions or expectations change from the current situation where you are being paid.

 

[naughtylady]

Experience shows me that many men will ask SP to do things they would never ask their girlfriend/lover/wife to do.

Ronnie,
Naughtylady

 

[Sexy_BBW_Véro]

De plus, ta blonde, il faut la séduire pour l'avoir dans le lit alors qu'une SP, bien c'est plus facile car elle est là pour ça

Malgre le fait que je sois payé , j'apprecis enormement les clients qui me rendent l'appareil dans une rencontre GFE

Se seduire , se plaire et se montrer à quel point on peut se desirer les uns et les autres ... n'est-ce pas l'essence même du plaisir de la chair?

Même si je suis convaincue que certains hommes nous voient plutot comme des vides couilles tout simplement ... la majorité de mes clients me voient comme une maitresse et je me sens ainsi moi aussi vis à vis d'eux ...

Si un jour je decide de me payer un mec ... oui j'espere qu'il saura me faire ressentir un desir mutuel partagé car sinon je ne le reverrais pas. Oui , je le seduirais de mes yeux et de tout mon corps et ce bien malgré moi!

 

[Regular Guy]

No one answer fits all!

Here's an interesting question (I hope). If you were going to have sex with a real lover (wife or girlfriend), would you approach your time with her (technique, etc.) differently than with a SP, even a GFE SP?

Do you think your session would change if you were being paid as the sexual provider rather than doing the paying. If so how?

I think the answers you will get will be quite varied. The answer will most likely depend on one's perspective and that will most likely depend on one's situation in life. A married man is in a relationship so may look to an SP as pure sexual recreation. Guys who are not in relationships may look to an SP for some of the elements of a relationship such as connection and affection as an integral part of the sexual experience. There are many more permutations and combinations of the above. For me I suppose it depends on the connection and how the SP responds. Some you can be very sensual and somewhat affectionate with, while with others, well...............

For SP's could the reverse be true about the connection and customer response? More likely most SP's don't lose their focus on why they are there.

 

[bensonnobalia]

----- almost all of them would be more than happy if you just listened to them talk

Do you think your session would change if you were being paid as the sexual provider rather than doing the paying. If so how?

Sure. If the woman was paying you, I think almost all of them would be more than happy if you just listened to them talk for the whole hour.

 

[Just_Jay]

Being a good listener.......

Sure. If the woman was paying you, I think almost all of them would be more than happy if you just listened to them talk for the whole hour.

Sometimes the truest things are said in gest...*S

I am sure that if you ask the ladies about those multi-hour sessions, they would indicate that a great portion of time is just spent talking.

 

[Just_Jay]

The payout

At the end of the session if she were paying me, it would be me making that special connection that we hear so much about, not with her but with the envelope

But isn't that what we don't want to receive from our provider, a mechancial just for pay attitude? Don't we want the intimacy, the fantasy, the excitement of connecting with someone (whether real or acted).
If the money is the objective, I believe your actions would be a means to an end (the money) as opposed to satifying your partner on different levels.

Just food for thought.....

 

[Regular Guy]

What are you really paying for?

But isn't that what we don't want to receive from our provider, a mechancial just for pay attitude? Don't we want the intimacy, the fantasy, the excitement of connecting with someone (whether real or acted).
If the money is the objective, I believe your actions would be a means to an end (the money) as opposed to satifying your partner on different levels.

Just food for thought.....

It all depends on how you define connecting. There is no question that, of course, the experience is sex for pay. But there is a big difference between whether the SP is talking at you or to you. Someone once talked about the true skill in SP'ing being how good an actress she is. It might also be about how much she is willing to share. You aren't buying a pair of shoes here. If the conversation is rife with formal conversation and feigned interest about your health and the like then you are starting out with distance between you. If it were truly just about the money then you could expect to see her cracking her gum and reading a magazine while you were banging away. I don't know about you but such a display would be sent packing by me. Understand that there has not been a relationship established, obviously, but that doesn't mean that the context and raison d'etre has to be lost. This is a people experience of an intimate nature. You have the right to expect that kind of context.

 

[Just_Jay]

re RG

It all depends on how you define connecting. There is no question that, of course, the experience is sex for pay. But there is a big difference between whether the SP is talking at you or to you. Someone once talked about the true skill in SP'ing being how good an actress she is. It might also be about how much she is willing to share. .

I agree with you.

However if you look at the original question (post2), it asks how would the session be different if you were the one being paid for services. Or would there be no difference at all?

 

[robot]

To answer the initial question, there is no doubt the session would different... but not that different.

As a client I always act respecful and keep in mind I am in a relation with a real person... as such, like any other person I am interacting with for services (vendors, mechanics, waiter, maid, employees) I can set and share my expectations and then it is for them to fullfill their part.

If I was the one paid, my expectations would be to be paid for what I am providing and provide fully what I am paid for... again in mutual respect.

Key points:

1- you'll always get more mileage on the long run being nice.
2- make sure you set your expectations right and find the right provider for it.

 

[Just_Jay]

You mirror my own thoughts

To answer the initial question, there is no doubt the session would different... but not that different.

If I was the one paid, my expectations would be to be paid for what I am providing and provide fully what I am paid for... again in mutual respect.

I do agree with your comments, and those are my feeling, being a novice to the hobby. But I wonder if my reponse would change after providing hundreds of sessions similar to many of the sp's out there.

 

[robot]

If you are tired to provide good service to your client... it's time to look for another job...

 

[Regular Guy]

Sometimes better to give than receive!

I agree with you.

However if you look at the original question (post2), it asks how would the session be different if you were the one being paid for services. Or would there be no difference at all?

In one sense I don't see the distinction. The ease with which both are able to relate in the short term determines the success of the encounter. Takes two to tango. In the other sense knowing that you are there to provide a service, for me, implies first a certain facility with the work. Some just are not temperamentally suited for it. In some cases, depending on the client, I would imagine it takes a certain creativity of imagination to hype oneself. There may be several additional different factors which make some SP's successful: high libido, ability to gain needed attention and affection with the clients, etc. I am just touching the surface here. The girls will have to carry the ball the rest of the way, if they are so inclined. For me personally? Well guys are quite flexible perhaps viewing encounters in a very different way. No, I would not imagine the session to be much different. Remember that if you give, it comes back to you tenfold.

 

[Just_Jay]

The Paradox

In one sense I don't see the distinction.

No, I would not imagine the session to be much different. Remember that if you give, it comes back to you tenfold.

It seems to me from what people have said, that there would only be minor differences in the session depending if you were the payee or the payor. I believe for a man to receive maximum pleasure he needs to provide pleasure as well. He needs to feel that he is satisfying the desires of his partner (whether this is true or not in reality). How many reviews indicate the quality of DATY that he provided and the number of O's that his partner achieved.

The paradox is, why is it always the man who is paying? (yes I do know the answer, trust me I am not THAT naive, somewhat naive but not THAT naive. *L)

And if we are paying, shouldn't we be completely selfish in satisfying our personal needs? (Please don't hang me from a tree, I am just exploring)

 

[Just_Jay]

Ur #1

The one thing all johns should do though is be polite and respectful with the ladies at all times when in their company.

If I were an SP, you would be number 1 on my TDL (to do list)...*L

 

[Regular Guy]

I think i will leave that one alone

Now D! Personawy I tink dat id tow tweet!

 

[ExoticSpirit]

And if we are paying, shouldn't we be completely selfish in satisfying our personal needs? (Please don't hang me from a tree, I am just exploring)

I guess I'll get back in the conversation. You made a good and accurate point, at least for me. If I'm with a SP, I won't DATY because I'm quite neutral to it. I realize that women like it so I would do it for a lover. This act itself doesn't turn me on, but doesn't turn me off either, which is why I'm neutral. But it's still work, which is why I would never do this with a SP I'm paying.

I'm not extremely kinky so other than the DATY and maybe a bit less kissing and foreplay with a SP, everything else would be similar with a lover. So at least for me, giving pleasure to a SP is not high on my agenda since I'm the payer.

I understand that for other guys, it is important for them to give pleasure to a SP too. That's okay. But not for me.

 

[Just_Jay]

I understand that for other guys, it is important for them to give pleasure to a SP too. That's okay. But not for me.

An honest response...Thanks for sharing

 

[Merlot]

Here's an interesting question (I hope). If you were going to have sex with a real lover (wife or girlfriend), would you approach your time with her (technique, etc.) differently than with a SP, even a GFE SP?

For myself, I think I would be a bit more generous in terms of giving a lover pleasure whether it's eating her, more foreplay or whatever. With a SP, I think I would be more into porno style sex since I am paying as a customer.

How about you guys?

Hello ES,

One big difference is time. Isn't it rather impossible to romance a woman who's got you "on the clock." If you want to get to the usual reason for calling an escort, then cutting to the chase is forced upon you much sooner than with a true girlfriend. Then in true love-making with the complete romantic repertoire and intimate foreplay an emotional investment is inevitable to make it real. Isn't it impossible and foolish to invest all of that in someone who will be gone in a designated time and give herself to others right after. And, I don't know about you, but paying for it inhibits the romance...just a bit.

However, when it comes to the main event I think I am pretty much the same in both cases....from giving, soft, and delicate to seizing, aggressive, and torrid...then soft and very warm again.

Cheers,

Merlot