Do You Ever Get Caught Up In Moment

[naughtylady]

Really? What, precisely?

I mean, I like to have fun, laugh, share a human moment or two to be certain, but realistically, it is generally a passing moment in time, and means little or nothing to both parties. It is at best a superficial thing.

On the other hand, some years ago when my mother died, that night I called an escort, an indy i think. She showed up, we talked, i told her what had happened. She spent the night, 'on the house' as it were. A very kind gesture (come to think of it, I was seeing someone at that point, i wonder where she was!), and one I won't forget. A simple human act of kindness.

But then, that was one time, very singular.

Ummmm... I think you just described some of what more a date with an SP can be.

BTW, some years ago a man called me around the holidays; his mother had died recently and it was his first X-mas alone. I did spend the night. I remember spending part of the night cuddled on the couch watching a movie (movies?). Guess I am not the only one who ever shared a human moment.

The moral of the story: be nice to us and depending on the circumstances you might be surprised at the kind of mileage you can get.

Ronnie,
Naughtylady

Ronnie,
Naughtylady

 

[Dragonatic]

naughtylady, I have nothing against a "mouth to mouth chocolate resuscitation" like you said, its very nice BUT I mean when the guy offer a chocolate box to the SP when she leave....... euh... ok, she will eat it and what?? the guy paid the girl to please him (sex or no sex like he want...). Its done then its time to leave. Ok, maybe a little tip to thanks her but giving a box of chocolate or even CD's!! Shes not his gilfriend... just a woman that he paid to have some time with her .... I think its weird but.. I have nothing against them... its their choice...

My dentist is a woman, will I give her some cd's or a chocolate box to thanks her to have cleaned up my teeth? loll no... no need to. She is paid for what she do and thats it... like all the sp's! They are paid for what they provide (sex, talking, go to movies...whatever...)

 

[Regular Guy]

If so what the hell is a GFE then?

You know? The guys have an opportunity to define the context of the "encounter". And this is what escapes me. Yes, you will get the SP's who have been trained to think, "Okay, it's wham bam, thank you ma'am!" And they come into the encounter with that in mind. Some of them have been so programmed with that, that they feel they themselves are just hamburger. What gets me is that it is these same guys who encourage this thinking in SP's who cry and moan about getting a GFE. Just what the hell do you think a GFE is?

Now I know some of the guys have seen SP's with such a frequency as to feel they have gone beyond all that. If that is so then what have you lost? A girlfriend experience is treating each other like boyfriend and girlfriend. Okay, sure it ends after an hour or two. But treat her like the clerk at the 7-11 and who are you really cheating?

Okay it may be true that it won't work for all SP's. Some have such a schedule and such demands made on them to maximize performance that they don't know any other way now. And it may be that some are users by nature. So choose wisely and treat her well. And have a little faith. The girls posting here are not BS'ing you.

 

[metoo4]

Dragonatic, my MD is a woman, my dentist is a woman, my optometrist is a woman... I never gave them gifts but, I never had sex with them either! Getting naked with somebody and exploring each other bodies mutually requires some intellectual pleasure for me. Not so for my MD, dentist or optometrist.

For me, there's no way -ever- I could consider a woman as a "Kleenex". I need some emotional connection. If the SP can provide this, whatever she's a good actor or genuine is irrelevant. I know I am having a business transaction with the SP and I don't expect any kind "unpaid commitments" from them but, I am a human being and so are they. Human being of my kind need human contacts and I'm trying to find SPs who are of that kind as well. An emotionally empty 15 minutes bang or a mechanical bang are useless for me.

 

[rollingstone]

Wow I was just being sarcastic but the thread really took off!

Most hobbyists see an SP for sex, but the little things wine, chocolates, the occasional gift, conversation...all of these set the tone for what kind of encounter you want it to be. I can't speak for everyone, but for me, I like to suspend disbelief for the hours I have an SP with me. Most of us do it to some degree, like when we discretely put the money in the envelope and never discuss money or negotiate during the session.

Yes I could have it all wrong, but if I approach the appointment with the attitude that I am just paying for sex, I will not enjoy my time at all - and then what would be the point of seeing her in the first place?

 

[Dragonatic]

Dragonatic, my MD is a woman, my dentist is a woman, my optometrist is a woman... I never gave them gifts but, I never had sex with them either!

I'm not talking about just having sex... but like it was said before, some guys call an SP just to go eat, talk... watch a movie with her if the guy is lonely.... there is no sex or even just getting naked in these situations and they give some gifts (cd's, chocolate, flowers, wine...) to the sp...

 

[Merlot]

No no... I know that SPs are human too.. What I really wanted to say is that since we pay for the sp services, I just don't get the point to give them gifts. The service that offer an sp is like any service you pay for anywhere else and you dont buy gifts to all the womans that give you services..

Hello Dragon,

So how many of those other women are providing you a service like this???? NONE! If you understand escorts are human then THAT is the point. Wine or whatever is not a gift. It's just having the manners to treat her as a human being. And aren't you enjoying the drink also? Otherwise, if you just want to pump and dump I am sure there are plenty of toys and devices that would give you what you want and there would be no human element to deal with. Of course since you are paying them for a service like you say, you can be as coldly rational about it as you like. Just don't complain about not getting your money's worth if she does the same to you. You get what you give, and I find escorts are far more likely to be GFE when your treat them with good manners like appreciated human beings. But, if you like to have a cold business attitude it can go both ways. It's your choice...and hers too.

I'm not talking about just having sex... but like it was said before, some guys call an SP just to go eat, talk... watch a movie with her if the guy is lonely.... there is no sex or even just getting naked in these situations and they give some gifts (cd's, chocolate, flowers, wine...) to the sp...

If you expect respect for your choice then respect the choices of others. It's their business to do as they like just as it's yours.

Good luck,

Merlot

 

[Dragonatic]

Hello Dragon,

So how many of those other women are providing you a service like this???? NONE! If you understand escorts are human then THAT is the point. Wine or whatever is not a gift. It's just having the manners to treat her as a human being. And aren't you enjoying the drink also? Otherwise, if you just want to pump and dump I am sure there are plenty of toys and devices that would give you what you want and there would be no human element to deal with. Of course since you are paying them for a service like you say, you can be as coldly rational about it as you like. Just don't complain about not getting your money's worth if she does the same to you. You get what you give, and I find escorts are far more likely to be GFE when your treat them with good manners like appreciated human beings. But, if you like to have a cold business attitude it can go both ways. It's your choice...and hers too.

Good luck,

Merlot

Hello Merlot,

Well, I know that escorts are human and I can tell you that I treat them very well. There is always a good ambiance music in background, nice perfume in the air...all is good and I'm very nice with them. But the things is, if I pay for 1 hour lets say its 200$. I give her 200$ and in return I have the service she provide. After the session is done, I got the service she provided and she have the money. We are both happy and all was in a good ambiance and with respect. But when its done, she leave and well...ok it was a good time thats it. I got what I asked for. Why should I give her cd's, a box of chocolate or anything else! She was a nice woman, she was respectfull like I was for her. These gifts are nothing for me. I remember when I was an SP driver, many SP told me like "omg, this client gave me champagne bottle, chocolate box... when in fact they just wanted my woman's presence. Its cool, but its still just my client. When I leave, they are nomore than just a normal guy, like any other man that is passing by in the street." . Thats why I never give something to escorts. My wine bottle will be in better use with a friends dinner than for an sp. It will be more profitable for me in this manner when I know that the sp really don't care about it personally... its just "a-wine-bottle-gave-by-a-client"...

Well, afterall this is my opinion and I know that even if I don't give a shit about giving gifts to sp's, I'm still really nice with them and I help her to feel more confortable..

Cheers

 

[Merlot]

Hello Merlot,

Well, I know that escorts are human and I can tell you that I treat them very well. There is always a good ambiance music in background, nice perfume in the air...all is good and I'm very nice with them. But the things is, if I pay for 1 hour lets say its 200$. I give her 200$ and in return I have the service she provide. After the session is done, I got the service she provided and she have the money. We are both happy and all was in a good ambiance and with respect. But when its done, she leave and well...ok it was a good time thats it. I got what I asked for. Why should I give her cd's, a box of chocolate or anything else! She was a nice woman, she was respectfull like I was for her. These gifts are nothing for me. I remember when I was an SP driver, many SP told me like "omg, this client gave me champagne bottle, chocolate box... when in fact they just wanted my woman's presence. Its cool, but its still just my client. When I leave, they are nomore than just a normal guy, like any other man that is passing by in the street." . Thats why I never give something to escorts. My wine bottle will be in better use with a friends dinner than for an sp. It will be more profitable for me in this manner when I know that the sp really don't care about it personally... its just "a-wine-bottle-gave-by-a-client"...

Well, afterall this is my opinion and I know that even if I don't give a shit about giving gifts to sp's, I'm still really nice with them and I help her to feel more confortable..

Cheers

Hello Dragon,

No argument really. We all have our own preferences on how to handle an encounter and it doesn't really matter to me how business-like the whole thing really is. Whether she appreciates any gesture or is laughing behind my back I will still handle it my way as everyone can handle it theirs. Providing a little wine for the lady is just part of what makes me happy and comfortable about the encounter. Others have different ways and they can do as they like. So as Shakespeare said: "As You Like It".

Cheers,

Merlot

 

[Regular Guy]

I thought it was funny.........

Wow I was just being sarcastic but the thread really took off!

My first impressions were that TheDon was doing a bit of tongue-in-cheek humour. I mean if you read it he just had to be pulling everyone`s leg hard to get a laugh. Getting - a negative? DFK a negative? Really? And I thought that you were simply picking up on it. And for a moment I thought Igna was joking about being normal. That`s why I got on board. The thread actually had nothing to do with gifts when it started out. That came later.

And then the discussion started. Actually it is just a variation on a theme that has been tossed around in other threads not long ago. Some believe in connection and others? Well you have to get up pretty early in the morning to ..................... Like the old radio show: ``Who knows what lurks in the hearts of SP`s - The Shadow knows``

 

[Regular Guy]

Is there something to being realistic about sex for cash?

I did mention gifts but I was thinking more about the "ambiance" setting which includes wine, a bite to eat, music, etc.

Even though I don't agree, I can understand guys not seeing the point of bringing gifts... But if you can't get how it will most probably be to your advantage to make your partner feel comfortable (whether you are paying her or not) by offering her a drink, chatting a bit with her, etc... You have a looong way to go before understanding women in general!

Dragon, nothing against you but your post sounds like you are forgetting that SPs are human being too.

And RG, I love this quote, I couldn't agree more:

As far as I am concerned clients and SP's who simply think of the other as a means to an end are to be avoided on both sides.

Now it just may be that some hobbiests really do dehumanize the women they encounter and consider them realistically to be only sex objects simply because it is sex for money and they feel that logic dictates this attitude. But just to elaborate on my quote above, it would only be fair here to look at both sides. The guys who have posted in this thread concerning the illusion of any kind of meaningful connection in an encounter may in fact understand the following argument or have come across the SP who subtly ensures that he understands that he is there to purchase a service and is a means to an end. Many people develop a persona which is used in the workplace to relate to fellow workers. And it does have a language of its own. A couple of examples:

The enthusiastic plastic greeting; “How are youuuu?” (translation: I couldn't really give a rats ass but my giving you this in-your-face greeting is to set the stage – you fill in the parameters)

The enthusiastic establishing a working relationship, “Let's do lunch sometime!” (and if you are clueless enough to think it is any more................)

Sometimes it's not what we say but how we say it. Now I have chosen extreme examples to make a point. Often in encounters the underlying message is more subtle but just as glaringly obvious. This kind of insincerity may be par for the course in certain competitive working environments but it has no place in an encounter. SP's who telegraph this kind of message might just as well haul off and slap the client in the face. She has just called him a pathetic loser or words to that effect. That's when the sparks fly with negative reviews. If an SP has restrictions it is almost an art form to be able to indicate them without engendering a feeling that there really is no connection here and put the client on less than an equal footing. Most clients have no illusions about creating a heart flutter in the SP they are seeing but they do want the illusion anyway. And that perhaps goes to the heart of the GFE experience. And maybe this also is what goes to the heart of the concept of YMMV. There is one caveat in all of this where neither party may be responsible, and that is the “personality clash.” Neither side can be held accountable for this. It is simply the minefield of the hobby.

An understanding of this fact just may go to the crux of the matter of what motivates the attitude of JJ or Dragonatic and a few others. I am not saying that any of them ever experienced it but I can honestly say that if I had run across one of these misfit SP's it would take a real effort of imagination to laugh it off or simply chalk it up to experience.

 

[naughtylady]

naughtylady, I have nothing against a "mouth to mouth chocolate resuscitation" like you said, its very nice BUT I mean when the guy offer a chocolate box to the SP when she leave....... euh... ok, she will eat it and what?? the guy paid the girl to please him (sex or no sex like he want...). Its done then its time to leave. Ok, maybe a little tip to thanks her but giving a box of chocolate or even CD's!! Shes not his gilfriend... just a woman that he paid to have some time with her .... I think its weird but.. I have nothing against them... its their choice...

My dentist is a woman, will I give her some cd's or a chocolate box to thanks her to have cleaned up my teeth? loll no... no need to. She is paid for what she do and thats it... like all the sp's! They are paid for what they provide (sex, talking, go to movies...whatever...)

In the 5 + years I have been SPing it is always at the beginning of the date that I have received gifts such as chocolates or wine, never after.

Ronnie,
Naughtylady

 

[Dragonatic]

In the 5 + years I have been SPing it is always at the beginning of the date that I have received gifts such as chocolates or wine, never after.

Ronnie,
Naughtylady

Well, it depends of the guys. Some give before, some give after....and some give during the session...

 

[naughtylady]

A few times I have had guys bring CDs of mood music (OK hump music) they mixed themselves and then let me keep the CD after the session.

I have never forgotten the gents or the dates associated with each of these CDs. It is a great way to keep a memory alive.

Not to mention now every time I play these CDs I seem to get in to the mood

Ronnie,
Naughtylady

 

[Dragonatic]

You may not have to give gifts but it is important to set the mood for a date and this can be done with wine and a little music. To set the proper mood this is the song i always have playing when they come in the room


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pZT485kz8E4

nice music for these situations... lol

Well, like I said, I always put some music in background and set a good ambiance.. All is perfect for me and for the sp...

 

[master_bates]

I would make out with an SP

Never in my life have I had a CBJ, hope never do either

 

[Regular Guy]

You may not have to give gifts but it is important to set the mood for a date and this can be done with wine and a little music. To set the proper mood this is the song i always have playing when they come in the room


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pZT485kz8E4

Well I'll bet this scores big time with the ladies. Sure wish I'd thought of it. Ah well! I guess I'll just have to take some lessons from the master. You old charmer you!

 

[wristthick]

I always ask if I can kiss them (as in makeout) at some point. It makes the experience so much better when you have some lips to latch onto in the throes of pleasure.

After coitus, I always feel affectionate, so I try to hold them close for a nice cuddle. Most have seemed to enjoy it.