Does jealously ever an issue?

[Hmmm…]

I'm wondering if clients see their providers only as a transactional service, or if due to the intimate nature of the work and the fact that service provided by providers is being warm, affectionate, and attentive to clients makes them more prone to a false belief they are in a relationship and then developing feelings like jealousy for seeing other men. I'm thinking that especially for those who see certain providers regularly and fully understand the arrangement, they may still harbor some jealousy knowing that their favorite provider is seeing other clients. This isn't just theoretical. I've heard of at least two instances from SPs where clients wanted to convert them into exclusive sugar babies. And, of course, we're all familiar with the classic millennial-old trope of clients wanting to save these women (or boys).

Do you ever feel jealous when your favorite provider is fully booked or busy with other clients, or do you feel happy for them? When you read vivid reviews of providers you'd like to visit again, how do descriptions of the acts performed or how nice the provider was to other men make you feel? How does that change your interaction during the booking if a SP says, for example, "Wow, you are so handsome." If you give expensive lingerie to a provider and they use it in the future with other clients, how does that make you feel?

 

[DetectiveDavidMills]

If there is jealousy in this industry, either it is from clients or providers, then they are in the wrong industry if they can't deal with the pluralities of partners involved. Period.

 

[joebarren]

the only feelings that belong in this industry are the feelings of fairness (get what is agreed upon) and safety (you're not getting rob or attacked). if you're developing an emotional attachment, try a dating app or something or go outside and get some fresh air.

 

[AstonMartinBond]

I'm wondering if clients see their providers only as a transactional service, or if due to the intimate nature of the work and the fact that service provided by providers is being warm, affectionate, and attentive to clients makes them more prone to a false belief they are in a relationship and then developing feelings like jealousy for seeing other men. I'm thinking that especially for those who see certain providers regularly and fully understand the arrangement, they may still harbor some jealousy knowing that their favorite provider is seeing other clients. This isn't just theoretical. I've heard of at least two instances from SPs where clients wanted to convert them into exclusive sugar babies. And, of course, we're all familiar with the classic millennial-old trope of clients wanting to save these women (or boys).

Do you ever feel jealous when your favorite provider is fully booked or busy with other clients, or do you feel happy for them? When you read vivid reviews of providers you'd like to visit again, how do descriptions of the acts performed or how nice the provider was to other men make you feel? How does that change your interaction during the booking if a SP says, for example, "Wow, you are so handsome." If you give expensive lingerie to a provider and they use it in the future with other clients, how does that make you feel?

I started out this hobby at the beginning of the year and one advice, never get attached.

It’s purely transactional and it’s their job to make clients feel loved, valued and happy. You’re probably leaving the session with a smile and entering your car by saying « wow », « she told me that » , etc keep a certain distance and it will go well.

Simple thing: Book, donation, respect and distance. It can be tough bro as you’re in the clouds but believe me, being into reality is better.

AstonMartinBond
YourF1Driver

 

[TheJames101]

Jealous of... what? There are levels to this delusion. And that's one level too far.

 

[Wessex]

It's normal to think and feel that way. Especially when there is a "connection", but it's all an illusion. Just enjoy the moment, because she will never be just for you, and after awhile you'll be fed up and want to move on!

 

[AnthonyAnderson]

Jealousy would be a sign that one is getting attached to an escort. It has for sure happened to countless clients as jealousy is part of our evolved sexual psychology. Most will simply won`t admit it as it is deeply embarassing. To call it delusion as a previous poster has done would be too harsh, in my opinion (in most cases). I would rather call it a state of confusion.

 

[Vardhan945]

It shouldnt be...I suspect it happens when people see escorts without a source of fulfillment or intimacy (not sex necessarily) in their personal lives. Escorts shouldnt be a substitute for that.

To get jealous implies the client feels a certain level of possession or entitlement to over what an escort does outside of their booked time.

Id wager that escorts hate (if not hate at least get annoyed by) this type of client the most.

On a personal note in the 3 years ive done this at one point I went through a rough patch for a few months and found myself daydreaming about my next session and thinking about the sp way too much.
Didnt get to the point where I was jealous of other johns but I could tell it was a very unhealthy way of thinking. Luckily I sorted out my personal life and stopped feeling attached.

 

[twenty4seven]

I don't get jealous of other clients, I love (respectful) vivid reviews of providers I've seen, and I'd rather hear my favourite providers are booked up bc if they're prosperous it means they'll likely stick around longer and I'll get to see them some more.

I do, however, get jealous of ideas. Like when I hear about a unique and fun date or a particularly steamy act or position or event they adore it just makes me wish I thought of it earlier.

 

[Anong]

if due to the intimate nature of the work and the fact that service provided by providers is being warm, affectionate, and attentive to clients

It means that they are very professional and honest about providing services, which make us feel the way we love (not in love)

where clients wanted to convert them into exclusive

Provided if they agree and someone can fulfil their financial needs. For which they work very hard and see so many undesired/ill mannered people and make them feel "Special"

 

[Lunaseraphim]

There is jealousy on both sides and I think it's more often than not ego based reasons than anything else. Or low self esteem and problems with attachment in general.

For instance a client will be jealous of other clients he perceives as wealthier and more generous... Some clients feel competitive with others but that's not because they genuinely are in love with us lol. Some clients just want to feel like they have exclusive access to us just because they have the desire to feel special and wanted. That's different from having genuine romantic feelings.

I've also met some providers who seemed very competitive and jealous of others and accuse others of "stealing their clients". I think honestly this industry can be hard for some people's self esteem. If a client you liked doesn't want to see you anymore but still sees colleagues I think it's kinda normal to feel hurt.. but that doesn't mean we are in a relationship with that client or want to be. Sometimes the jealousy has to do with how popular somebody else is and how much money she's making..

---

I just want to say that I find these incessant conversations about how fake we are fucking annoying. It diminishes the work we do and all the emotional labor we put into it. There are clients I know who genuinely like me and vice versa. Yeah I do have to put up with some behavior I dislike and part of my job is having enough compassion to tolerate it and deal with it. In order to do this job well you have to be understanding to a degree.

 

[Smitty Jaeger-Manjenson]

Don't catch feelings, bro.
I am very fond of my favorite ladies of the evening. They make me feel appreciated, and I in turn strive to make them feel appreciated. But I don't...I don't take bladders for lanterns (prendre des vessies pour des lanternes, I felt the need to drop this delightfully colorful and bawdy French idiom).

 

[AnthonyAnderson]

I just want to say that I find these incessant conversations about how fake we are fucking annoying. It diminishes the work we do and all the emotional labor we put into it. There are clients I know who genuinely like me and vice versa. Yeah I do have to put up with some behavior I dislike and part of my job is having enough compassion to tolerate it and deal with it. In order to do this job well you have to be understanding to a degree.

I understand what you mean, and I think that to say "it's all fake" or "it's all an illusion" is simply not accurate, and is often a defense mechanism by clients who are unwilling or unable to take a closer look at, or simply feel, their emotions. There are healthy client-sex worker relationships, but, it has to be bounded in space and time. Not everyone is able to achieve that. I elaborated in a previous thread on the complicated nature of emotional intimacy between clients and sex workers in long term relationships.

https://merb.cc/xenforo/threads/the...complicated-question-research-summary.257783/

And for those who want a deeper understanding of jealousy, and how it is differentially activated in men vs. women, please see:

https://merb.cc/xenforo/threads/do-you-read-books-what-are-you-reading-right-now.237587/post-1876066

 

[Lunaseraphim]

I understand what you mean, and I think that to say "it's all fake" or "it's all an illusion" is simply not accurate, and is often a defense mechanism by clients who are unwilling or unable to take a closer look at, or simply feel, their emotions. There are healthy client-sex worker relationships, but, it has to be bounded in space and time. Not everyone is able to achieve that. I elaborated in a previous thread on the complicated nature of emotional intimacy between clients and sex workers in long term relationships.

https://merb.cc/xenforo/threads/the...complicated-question-research-summary.257783/

And for those who want a deeper understanding of jealousy, and how it is differentially activated in men vs. women, please see:

https://merb.cc/xenforo/threads/do-you-read-books-what-are-you-reading-right-now.237587/post-1876066

That is why I think some people need to not see sex workers or set strict boundaries for themselves. As a client you can ask establishments and indies for services that are less intimate like basic fs or massage with happy ending, however that is not the demand I see on this forum. And as a sex worker I have to offer what the client wants me to.

I think there is a major contradiction on this forum. On one hand clients push for extremely intimate services like daty and "deep french kissing" and want nearly unlimited access to a sex workers' body. Some will call her lazy or accuse her of providing bad service if she needs a break or doesn't want to do all the acronyms including anal. And greedy if she asks for more than a bare minimum rate if she has restrictions. They are infuriated by the idea that men book is for social time and dinner dates and even organize bullying campaigns aimed at specific clients and providers.. or they will punish some of us with let's just say unevolved types of sarcasm.

I'm sorry but sex is intimate and connected to psychology and emotions. Whether people here like it or not that is the truth. You can jerk off at home if you don't like that truth, or you can express a desire for massage with happy endings or whatever. A big part of our job is social and emotional. It's not all fake because it's our job. Even dealing with rude clients who see us as objects is a particular form of emotional labor. Playing dumb and playing the sex doll is performing emotional labor for an immature and disturbed individual.

I have just had enough of this personally. If you're not happy with men booking us for nice dates and you're on merb implying "it's all fake they're just brainless money hungry whores who made bad choices and made their bed and must lie in it" then stop asking anything more than basic full service. Just pay for the time, be polite, put the condom on, cum and leave. Or jerk off at home. I don't want someone's cum or tongue in my mouth if they think of me this way sorry.

Some of the most cynical clients I've spoken to told me they were booking escorts because they want affection. They associate that with sex. You can get affection from hugging a friend or cuddling with your cat. If you want this type of highly emotionally engaging affection you need to understand what the stakes are and how to treat the person who's offering it. You need to know how to handle how this is going to make you feel and how to engage with it in a safe and healthy way.