Does jealously ever an issue?

[Hmmm…]

I'm wondering if clients see their providers only as a transactional service, or if due to the intimate nature of the work and the fact that service provided by providers is being warm, affectionate, and attentive to clients makes them more prone to a false belief they are in a relationship and then developing feelings like jealousy for seeing other men. I'm thinking that especially for those who see certain providers regularly and fully understand the arrangement, they may still harbor some jealousy knowing that their favorite provider is seeing other clients. This isn't just theoretical. I've heard of at least two instances from SPs where clients wanted to convert them into exclusive sugar babies. And, of course, we're all familiar with the classic millennial-old trope of clients wanting to save these women (or boys).

Do you ever feel jealous when your favorite provider is fully booked or busy with other clients, or do you feel happy for them? When you read vivid reviews of providers you'd like to visit again, how do descriptions of the acts performed or how nice the provider was to other men make you feel? How does that change your interaction during the booking if a SP says, for example, "Wow, you are so handsome." If you give expensive lingerie to a provider and they use it in the future with other clients, how does that make you feel?

 

[joebarren]

the only feelings that belong in this industry are the feelings of fairness (get what is agreed upon) and safety (you're not getting rob or attacked). if you're developing an emotional attachment, try a dating app or something or go outside and get some fresh air.

 

[AstonMartinBond]

I'm wondering if clients see their providers only as a transactional service, or if due to the intimate nature of the work and the fact that service provided by providers is being warm, affectionate, and attentive to clients makes them more prone to a false belief they are in a relationship and then developing feelings like jealousy for seeing other men. I'm thinking that especially for those who see certain providers regularly and fully understand the arrangement, they may still harbor some jealousy knowing that their favorite provider is seeing other clients. This isn't just theoretical. I've heard of at least two instances from SPs where clients wanted to convert them into exclusive sugar babies. And, of course, we're all familiar with the classic millennial-old trope of clients wanting to save these women (or boys).

Do you ever feel jealous when your favorite provider is fully booked or busy with other clients, or do you feel happy for them? When you read vivid reviews of providers you'd like to visit again, how do descriptions of the acts performed or how nice the provider was to other men make you feel? How does that change your interaction during the booking if a SP says, for example, "Wow, you are so handsome." If you give expensive lingerie to a provider and they use it in the future with other clients, how does that make you feel?

I started out this hobby at the beginning of the year and one advice, never get attached.

It’s purely transactional and it’s their job to make clients feel loved, valued and happy. You’re probably leaving the session with a smile and entering your car by saying « wow », « she told me that » , etc keep a certain distance and it will go well.

Simple thing: Book, donation, respect and distance. It can be tough bro as you’re in the clouds but believe me, being into reality is better.

AstonMartinBond
YourF1Driver

 

[TheJames101]

Jealous of... what? There are levels to this delusion. And that's one level too far.

 

[Wessex]

It's normal to think and feel that way. Especially when there is a "connection", but it's all an illusion. Just enjoy the moment, because she will never be just for you, and after awhile you'll be fed up and want to move on!

 

[AnthonyAnderson]

Jealousy would be a sign that one is getting attached to an escort. It has for sure happened to countless clients as jealousy is part of our evolved sexual psychology. Most will simply won`t admit it as it is deeply embarassing. To call it delusion as a previous poster has done would be too harsh, in my opinion (in most cases). I would rather call it a state of confusion.

 

[Vardhan945]

It shouldnt be...I suspect it happens when people see escorts without a source of fulfillment or intimacy (not sex necessarily) in their personal lives. Escorts shouldnt be a substitute for that.

To get jealous implies the client feels a certain level of possession or entitlement to over what an escort does outside of their booked time.

Id wager that escorts hate (if not hate at least get annoyed by) this type of client the most.

On a personal note in the 3 years ive done this at one point I went through a rough patch for a few months and found myself daydreaming about my next session and thinking about the sp way too much.
Didnt get to the point where I was jealous of other johns but I could tell it was a very unhealthy way of thinking. Luckily I sorted out my personal life and stopped feeling attached.

 

[twenty4seven]

I don't get jealous of other clients, I love (respectful) vivid reviews of providers I've seen, and I'd rather hear my favourite providers are booked up bc if they're prosperous it means they'll likely stick around longer and I'll get to see them some more.

I do, however, get jealous of ideas. Like when I hear about a unique and fun date or a particularly steamy act or position or event they adore it just makes me wish I thought of it earlier.

 

[Anong]

if due to the intimate nature of the work and the fact that service provided by providers is being warm, affectionate, and attentive to clients

It means that they are very professional and honest about providing services, which make us feel the way we love (not in love)

where clients wanted to convert them into exclusive

Provided if they agree and someone can fulfil their financial needs. For which they work very hard and see so many undesired/ill mannered people and make them feel "Special"

 

[Smitty Jaeger-Manjenson]

Don't catch feelings, bro.
I am very fond of my favorite ladies of the evening. They make me feel appreciated, and I in turn strive to make them feel appreciated. But I don't...I don't take bladders for lanterns (prendre des vessies pour des lanternes, I felt the need to drop this delightfully colorful and bawdy French idiom).

 

[AnthonyAnderson]

I just want to say that I find these incessant conversations about how fake we are fucking annoying. It diminishes the work we do and all the emotional labor we put into it. There are clients I know who genuinely like me and vice versa. Yeah I do have to put up with some behavior I dislike and part of my job is having enough compassion to tolerate it and deal with it. In order to do this job well you have to be understanding to a degree.

I understand what you mean, and I think that to say "it's all fake" or "it's all an illusion" is simply not accurate, and is often a defense mechanism by clients who are unwilling or unable to take a closer look at, or simply feel, their emotions. There are healthy client-sex worker relationships, but, it has to be bounded in space and time. Not everyone is able to achieve that. I elaborated in a previous thread on the complicated nature of emotional intimacy between clients and sex workers in long term relationships.

https://merb.cc/xenforo/threads/the...complicated-question-research-summary.257783/

And for those who want a deeper understanding of jealousy, and how it is differentially activated in men vs. women, please see:

https://merb.cc/xenforo/threads/do-you-read-books-what-are-you-reading-right-now.237587/post-1876066

 

[Smitty Jaeger-Manjenson]

I mean...one way to look at it is that it's like pro wrestling. Everybody over the age of 12 knows that wrestling is an act, those people aren't hitting each other for real (for the most part) and don't legitimately hate one another and wish to end each other's careers. But we still appreciate the spectacle and stylized illusion of real combat. Guys who watch wrestling want to feel the sensation of a real fight, guys who pay for sexual services want to feel the sensation of having a lover. My 2 cents.

 

[Lunaseraphim]

I mean...one way to look at it is that it's like pro wrestling. Everybody over the age of 12 knows that wrestling is an act, those people aren't hitting each other for real (for the most part) and don't legitimately hate one another and wish to end each other's careers. But we still appreciate the spectacle and stylized illusion of real combat. Guys who watch wrestling want to feel the sensation of a real fight, guys who pay for sexual services want to feel the sensation of having a lover. My 2 cents.

Except things are happening for real during those bookings unlike in pro wrestling. There's something similar to pro wrestling : porn. Seeing a sex worker isn't a spectacle. You're engaging in it. This isn't like putting on a VR headset and having a virtual experience.

 

[minutemenX]

There is jealousy on both sides and I think it's more often than not ego based reasons than anything else. Or low self esteem and problems with attachment in general.

For instance a client will be jealous of other clients he perceives as wealthier and more generous... Some clients feel competitive with others but that's not because they genuinely are in love with us lol. Some clients just want to feel like they have exclusive access to us just because they have the desire to feel special and wanted. That's different from having genuine romantic feelings.

I've also met some providers who seemed very competitive and jealous of others and accuse others of "stealing their clients". I think honestly this industry can be hard for some people's self esteem. If a client you liked doesn't want to see you anymore but still sees colleagues I think it's kinda normal to feel hurt.. but that doesn't mean we are in a relationship with that client or want to be. Sometimes the jealousy has to do with how popular somebody else is and how much money she's making..

---

I just want to say that I find these incessant conversations about how fake we are fucking annoying. It diminishes the work we do and all the emotional labor we put into it. There are clients I know who genuinely like me and vice versa. Yeah I do have to put up with some behavior I dislike and part of my job is having enough compassion to tolerate it and deal with it. In order to do this job well you have to be understanding to a degree.

Precision in terminology matters here: you are consistently mixing up jealousy and envy. Though the two can overlap in usage, they are distinctly different emotions.

 

[LeDodo]

Precision in terminology matters here: you are consistently mixing up jealousy and envy. Though the two can overlap in usage, they are distinctly different emotions.

Yes I think in the discussion lot of different "emotions" or state are mixed together.

I think OP is talking about the jealousy as in being possessive and clients wanting to have an exclusive relation with the SP.

As for the rest of the emotions I think it doesn't just stop at envy only but others.

 

[Lunaseraphim]

Yes I think in the discussion lot of different "emotions" or state are mixed together.

I think OP is talking about the jealousy as in being possessive and clients wanting to have an exclusive relation with the SP.

As for the rest of the emotions I think it doesn't just stop at envy only but others.

Yeah but what I'm trying to say is that really often clients don't truly want to have an exclusive relationship with the SP. At least that's my personal experience. Or they think they are experiencing romantic feelings but that's not exactly what it is. I think it does happen on occasion but generally when clients have had crushes on me I could tell they were more invested in the fantasy than they were in who I was as a person. And some of them expressed jealousy over other clients but I knew they saw other providers.

 

[EastWind]

No jealousy as I am never the jealous type as I don’t believe in containment and control. That is my approach to people. There is no door.

As for the SP as long I get to see her in the time I want to see her that is all cool. No more no less. We see each other she leaves and go live her life. Until next time if there is one. There is no long term emotional investment it is a self defeating pile of I am wasting my time. This is all a fantasy one sided make believe..

Jealousy in this hobby? Dumb and dumber.

 

[jmioffe]

A funny story from my activities in other realms about two kinds of jealousy.

I had dabbled in another notorious passport bro country for awhile. I made some friends there. Two of them were very close at one point, and now they're nothing at all to one another. It's funny how things came to pass.

Walter and Mike were reveling in the scene there. Then Mike liked one girl Jenny a lot (semi-pro probably, that's how the scene is there, so it's probably ok to say his scenario may have been more realistic given the wealth differentials.)

Mike said to Jenny, "hey, Walter sees a lot of girls, I worry that he might pass something he gets on to you and then on to me. I see you a lot, so please don't see him."

This got back to Walter, and it infuriated him, especially since Walter introduced Mike to Jenny.

Walter does not catch feelings, he knows a lot of girls, and wants access to all of them. He thinks of himself as a bit of a pimp or porn star. He likes to think girls catch feelings for him, and gets a little uncomfortable when you point out that he is paying.

Walter still hates Mike to this day and his ears perk up to hear of Mike's failures. Jenny, I don't know what happened to her. Mike has no animosity towards Walter, but that's understandable, because Walter knows all the girls and Mike committed the betrayal.

Who's the bad guy here? Me, I don't play on that field anymore. I kind of stay away from both of them (but both don't know why.) They're generally discreet about their history.

Mike, true to his character, gave me some kind of story that absolves him of blame. He says he saw Walter get STD treatment while still seeing girls and decided to distance himself. Walter, out of a strange sense of honor I think, avoids the topic and says nothing, but loves to hear negative things about Mike.

The place is pretty good for the hobby, but the wealth differential means guys act like short-sighted, "the world is mine" lottery winners there, and the lack of other things to do leads to this kind of drama.

They're both pretty successful guys, professionally. They're also not bad looking guys and fun to have conversations with.

But I decided both are lacking somewhat in character (far be in for me to say, participating in this world too!) but I thought it better to minimize their presences in my life.

 

[Thor Jr]

Yes, there's always jealousy. Both men and women get jealous.
Men get jealous when the girls tell them that Thor Jr is bigger then them and the girls get jealous when they hear about Thor Jr.

Lmfao

 

[EastWind]

Yes, there's always jealousy. Both men and women get jealous.
Men get jealous when the girls tell them that Thor Jr is bigger then them and the girls get jealous when they hear about Thor Jr.

Lmfao

That explains it. So you are the reason why for this hostile environment where everyone is keeping their gems to themselves. LOL. Good going.