"But he wasn't. While most of humanity was scrabbling for a piece of bread, a roof over their head and a job that would allow them to live with dignity, Ralf Hart had all of that, and it only made him feel more wretched. If he looked back on what his life had been lately, e had perhaps managed two or three days when he had woken up, looked at the sun - or the rain - and felt glad to see the morning, just happy without wanting anything, planning anything or asking anything in exchange. Apart from those few days, the rest of his existence had been wasted on dreams, both frustrated and realized - a desire to go beyond himself, to go beyond his limitations; he had spent his life trying to prove something but he didn't know what or to whom.
He looked at the beautiful woman before him, who was discreetly dressed in black, someone he had met by chance, although he he had seen her before at the nightclub and thought that she seemed out of place. She had asked him to desire her, and he desired her intensely, far more than he could imagine, but it wasn't her breasts or her body, it was her company he desired. He wanted to put his arms around her and sit in silence, staring into the fire,drinking wine, smoking the occasional cigarette; that would be enough. Life was made up of all simple things; he was weary of all the years he had spent searching for something, though quite what he didn't know.
An yet, if he did that, if he touched her, all would be lost. For, despite the "light" he could see in Maria, he wasn't sure she realized how good it was for him to be by her side. Was he paying? Yes, and he would continue paying as long as it took to win her, to sit with her by the lakeside and speak of love, and to hear her say the same thing. It was best not to take any chances, not to rush things, not to say anything.
Ralf Hart stopped tormenting himself and concentrated once more on the game they had just created together. The woman before him was right; the wine, the fire, the cigarettes and the company were not enough in themselves; another kind of intoxication was required.
She was wearing a black dress with shoulder straps; she was revealing one breast; he could see her skin, more dark than pale. He desired her. He desired her intensely."
