I recently had an experience with an SP who talked quite openly about her boyfriend. Indeed, at one point, after the session, she spoke with him on the phone. I found that it actually enhanced the quality of the encounter and the way I felt about her. We had what I would certainly qualify as a “GFE-BFE” experience to the extent that we enjoyed the time we spent together. Indeed, the fact that she was open about it somehow made the experience more “real,” inasmuch as she revealed herself as an authentic individual, one who in a sense (albeit a small one) opened herself up to me. This, in turn, enabled two-way communication and laid the foundation for what turned out to be a great experience.
I put GFE-BFE between inverted commas because I find the expression somewhat problematic. I realize that this expression is used to denote either a) a certain kind of intimacy that goes beyond a mere sexual contact and/or b) a specific range of “services” generally proffered by a girlfriend (I leave this second meaning aside for the moment). However, I am also quite aware of the fact that the SP is not my girlfriend. But this by no means diminishes the quality of the intimacy that is established. Indeed, one need only think of those brief, passing sexual and often highly intimate and enjoyable encounters that occur between married individuals at out-of-town conferences. Whenever this has happened to me, I never for a second imagined the other was my girlfriend or that she would leave her boyfriend because of me. Nor did the other see me as her boyfriend. But we still managed to share something special for the time that it lasted. And this is exactly what I felt with the SP I am referring to here: we spent a brief amount of time together; we chatted about many things and managed to establish a contact and an intimacy that went beyond the sexual—and, for that reason, made the sexual dimension all the more interesting and satisfying.
One last consideration: for me a good SP is a professional at what she does. She provides a service that meets certain needs and wants, just like any other professional, be it a lawyer, a physician, an accountant, a therapist, or a hairdresser. I certainly don’t hold it against other professionals if they are married or have other clients, or even if they talk about them. What counts is that they be fully present when they are with me and that they provide me with the professional service they advertise.