This subject hits home big time - back on topic
I had been involved in the hobby during quite some time, and had opportunities to see different aspects of it, not only as a client. Like quite a few other hobbyists I'm sure, I built friendships with a few SPs, agency owners, and other clients, on top of other more unique experiences that are out of the scope of this post.
This hobby was more like a separate life to start with, a life on its own, and as time passed and I got more involved with friends (some real, some not so real), the hobby became closer and closer to my personal life. The separation between the two lives started to blur and things happening in one life eventually leaked on the other...
So what about finding out about a loved one is in the hobby? That question can be answered from two point of views: 1) people finding out about you and 2) you finding out about one of your loved ones. The whole dynamics of what is going to happen, how people will react, their feelings, etc, is in my opinion all based on one's perception about this business and people involved in it, both the clients and the providers.
It's always struck me how people outside of this business are close-minded and have prejudices against sex workers and clients. How often did I hear people say things like "look at those sluts, how can they expect any kind of respect". Damn! If they only knew! It's so easy for some people to patronize and look at this business with disdain when they don't have a clue what's going on and the people involved! Everyone in this biz have their reasons for doing what they do, some unfortunately have been forced to be there, hopefully it's a minority, and others are there by choice, and when I say "by choice" it doesn't mean the choice was easy to make. I, for one, have the utmost respect for women working in this profession (because, like it or not, it's a work).
Back to the "finding out" question, one thing that comes into play is love. More often that not we are all willing to accept difficult situations because we love the person involved. I can only speak about myself here, but because of the carelessness of a lady "friend", I eventually had to tell my (ex-)wife about my extra-conjugal activities (I posted about this before but it got deleted by the Mods as being part of a flaming thread - oh no! like this one!). If I was to tell you she accepted it without saying a word I'd obviously be lying, but love being what it is, love helps accept a lot more than one would expect. Although our relation is over now (not because of that), she was totally forgiving (but NOT forgetting) and was ready to continue, mainly because I didn't deny and admitted to everything, obviously with a commitment on my part to STOP it... and stop it NOW.
The fact I cheated her with SPs didn't seem to make much of a difference though, as surprising as it may sound. In fact I think it would have been worst if the women had not been SPs, because not only the body, but the mind and soul would have been involved. As I didn't want to rub it in, it's not something I discussed with wifey, so I can't really comment.
The other "finding out" has to do with my daugther. I didn't find out anything per say, but she told me very recently she wanted to learn massotherapy. My heart must have skipped quite a few beats when she told me that. We didn't yet have a chance to have a lengthy discussion about it, only a quick phone conversation, but I know it will be a difficult subject, and for multiple reasons...
Being a client of MPs once in a while, I obviously know what's going on there. Even if my daugther vehemently tells me she would refuse to provide ANY sexual favor to ANYONE, depending on where she works I know she might be faced with situations that may almost be out of her control. I'm a very respectful person by nature, but not all clients are like me and I'm scared about some types of men who go to MPs, the stories I heard from girls (and read on MERB), about some a--h--es they sometime have to deal with. Sorry guys, but we are no angels here (not even me!
).
How do we, fathers, approach something like this has to do with our own experiences of course, and I would say the fact we read boards like MERB and know about this business somewhat helps us deal with it. Saying I would approve such a decision because she's major and has to live her life would be like bull-shitting myself. It would bug me for sure, not because of bad stereotypes attached to the women doing this profession (which I do not adhere to), but because I heard so many horror stories I want to save her from that.
My initial face to face discussion with her will be a tough one, mainly for me. As a good father I want her to make choices with all the facts in hand, and I want her to feel and know that I'm knowledgeable on the subject, to make sure she takes my advices seriously. By doing so I'll have to tell her that I've been involved in this, something not really easy to admit. But while silence is silver, truth is Gold. I know she's mature and whatever she decides to do after, I'll be supportive, and I'll make sure to stay as close to her as possible, so as to guide her and help her make the right choices along the way.
I feel there is so much more to write on this subject, but I wouldn't want to bore you all!
While I wrote those lines a number of thoughts crossed my mind, not necessarily in relation to the "finding out" question. I wonder how it's like for other hobbyists...
Having the privilege to meet hundreds of women in this hobby, it became obvious to me how the general public perception is biased. There are WONDERFUL people to meet here, very often people you would not have had the chance to meet otherwise, and who may even have changed your life. I know for me some did, and still do to this day.
Those thinking the hobby can be kept out of your personal life (my belief at the beginning), be honest to yourself and look again. You might be surprised. Think about it...
- How many friends you have in the hobby? and outside of the hobby?
- For those who indulge on a regular basis, how intimate can you become with an SP? Would you fall in love with one? With the right person I personally would, no hesitation!
- How addicted to the hobby did you become? How many times per week/month do you have to indulge? How long could you stand NOT seeing someone? And what if you lived in Montreal? Could it be as bad as going bankcrupt?
- What is the board providing you? Could you live without coming regularly? a week? a day? an hour (yeah, yeah, some handle come to mind when I write this
)?
ok, ok, I'll stop here! LOL
CA