Friendship with SPs

[Gentle2her]

I have had this running in my head for a looooong time, and I hope a few SPs will reply and give their opinion.

Let's first put things in context: As a client, there are a few SPs that I established a nice relation with, exchanging about sex, love, work, faith, family, mariage, inter-personal relations, etc., basically everything about our respective life experiences. With those very few SPs, the relation evolved to a point where we very highly respect and trust each other, we both know our full real names, where we both live, etc...

The thing is, except for dinners and "fun times", we never went out as friends, just for fun, like going to the movies, theater, etc. and this is where it becomes complicated...

A few questions (dedicated to the SPs on this board):

- Would you go out with a client, just for fun, as a friend? If you would, would you expect to receive money for the time spent going out at a social event?
- Knowing that you and that person are genuinely sexually compatible, could you eventually get turned on and wish to have some physical fun at the end of the evening? If so, would you expect the last part of the evening to be paid for?
- Say you would have had a few social events with that person, as friends (no sex involved), would you still see that person the same way? Would you want to see him again as a paying client? Would it make you uncomfortable? Would you feel weird if he was to ask?

These are just general questions. The line between client and escort is normally very clear and definite, but when a relation between two persons evolves, the line gets very thin and blurred.

My impression is this:
- Once the relation hits the friendship level, the paid sex part has to stop.
- If a sexual relation is to take place after that, it must be instigated by HER.
Bottom line: Once a real friend, never a client anymore.

ANY thought on this subject (from SPs or Johns like me) would be highly appreciated.

Oh, and I forgot to mention: The relation between the SPs and the client are friendships only. No love or emotional involvement on either side.

Gentle

 

[eidude]

Gentle2her

My comments are based on my recent experience I am sure not all SP's are same but I got to agree with Gatdick this is all about money. To quote Gatdick "You need to repeat over and over in your mind "It's only about the money". Say it over and over. Think it over and over. Don't stop" I would say don't ever stop thinking about this.

I go screwed recently (worst part not physically), I spend a lot of money and got nothing, nothing, actually got lot of head ache and heart break in return.

My two cents

Good luck

 

[Gentle2her]

Friendship- could be but is probably doubtful. Find out by making a clear date with the Lady and clearly make it known that there will be no $$$$ excahnged on any level. Then see her clear response. If she accepts then you are on a friendship date. Sex should only be initiaited by her and once you reach in your pocket to pay, you are back in the hobby world.

Well, I know I will sound weird to some, but isn't it a bit awkward to ask those kind of questions - to a friend (at least until I am proven wrong)? I am more inclined to have a social event with her, and based on how everything goes, I'll see. If she talks about me giving her $$$, then I'll be prepared and will give her. I will then know I was in dreamland. If that aspect is never brought up, I'll know it's something different.

I think you are looking for companionship of a different nature in the wrong climate, but probably going for it would be a learning experience for you.

I am not "looking" for that kind of relationship, it's just there. I want to get a feel if it's for real or not. But I'd prefer the outcome to be "we are friends" instead of "I'm a good client".

There are certainly a couple of very well known sp's in MTL that are well known as to be able to play this game and have done so to string some along. Hopefully you will survive but probably you will suffer along the way!

Yes, I was not born yesterday and I know who you're talking about, but as I said: "The relation between the SPs and the client are friendships only. No love or emotional involvement on either side".

I go screwed recently (worst part not physically), I spend a lot of money and got nothing, nothing, actually got lot of head ache and heart break in return.

Sorry to hear about your misfortune, but should I assume you spent a lot of money in the hope to establish somekind of relationship? This is not what I am talking about here. I am talking about a friendship between two individuals, which means, at least to me, that no money need to be exchanged.

Care to share who is the biiiiatch who took you to the cleaners? Would be nice to know.

Although I was obviously thinking about someone when I started this thread, I would prefer this to remain a general discussion. And by the way, nobody "cleaned" anyone here.

IMHO, I do not agree, It is not only for money: you meet a human being and it is not only about suc**ing and f***ng.

But going from there to being a real friend with a SP, there is a giant step. You can only be friends with people of virtue. But, you never know. I know a few great virtuous people working as SP/MP. But too many girls are truly mixed up and you will probably end up injuring yourself. But, on the other hand, if you are too cold, distant and "rational", you will have no pleasure and you will end up alone.

It's relieving to see that at least I am not the only one to think about SPs as real human persons, not only into money, suc**ing and f***ng. As for virtue, I would never consider a woman in this business to not be a "people of virtue" only for that. We all make choices, and we all have all kind of reasons for making those choices, good or bad. I agree, some women are really mixed up, but please let's not generalize here. It goes both ways: some men using SP/MP services are really mixed up too.

Thanks a lot for your opinion. Keep them coming. I hope a few women will join the discussion. I would love to read their thoughts about this...

Gentle

 

[naughtylady]

As an SP, I feel That I must jump in on this thread... to any one who knows me at all this should not be a shock...

Yes over the past year and a half that I have been escorting I have become friends with some clients, though the sex part remains business... I have gone to a show and /or dinner "off the clock" with a couple of "select gentlemen friends". These are people who I have established a relationship with.

If sex ever came off of the the clock so to speak this would change the whole dynamic of the relationship. Now I would not only have the right to call you, it would be expected. I would also expect total honesty, especially when it comes to sex with others. Not monogamy, honesty. I can show up at your house, just because... and vice versa... do you see where I am going with this? You guys, for the most part, don't want this. Most guys cannot handle dating a girl who works in the sex trade.

Ronnie,
Naughtylady

 

[Gentle2her]

Ronnie, first and foremost, thank you very much for adding your 2 cents...

Do you mind if I clarify what I consider a friend?
First, a person you highly respect, trust, and have affection for (NOT love).
A Good Friend: A person you know will do his/her best to support you in any occasion, without counting, and for whom you would do the same.
A BEST Friend: A person you know would drop almost everything to be with you, whatever happens, again without counting and for whom you would do the same.

By my definitions, I obviously don't expect a former client and an SP to become a good and even less a best friend, but more of the first type to start with.

Yes over the past year and a half that I have been escorting I have become friends with some clients, though the sex part remains business... I have gone to a show and /or dinner "off the clock" with a couple of "select gentlemen friends". These are people who I have established a relationship with.

Now that you know what I consider a friend...
1) Do you consider these gentlemen as friends, and as you said, people you could call any time or could call you anytime, just because...
2) If these guys were to be in a relation of some sort (girlfriend, maried, whatever), and had some "limitations", would you still consider them as friends?

If sex ever came off of the the clock so to speak this would change the whole dynamic of the relationship. Now I would not only have the right to call you, it would be expected. I would also expect total honesty, especially when it comes to sex with others. Not monogamy, honesty. I can show up at your house, just because... and vice versa... do you see where I am going with this? You guys, for the most part, don't want this. Most guys cannot handle dating a girl who works in the sex trade.

That's interresting... If I understand you properly, it's the act of having sex off the clock that would make you expect more, am I right? Since you mention "dating a girl who...", I have a feeling you envision more than just a friendship here, but maybe a lovers type relationship. Again, correct me if I am wrong.

What about just being friends, not lovers, no dating. Just someone to talk to, hang out or have fun with on occasions.

What about this:
1) Can a client become a friend?
2) Can such a friend still remain a client or that has to stop to remain a friend?
3) If this friendship is real and lasts, would you see this guy differently because you got to know him from this business? If yes, in a good or bad way?

I hope I am not too annoying with all my questions, but my inquiring mind needs to know

Gentle

 

[naughtylady]

Not annoying at all...

Now that you know what I consider a friend...
1) Do you consider these gentlemen as friends, and as you said, people you could call any time or could call you anytime, just because...
2) If these guys were to be in a relation of some sort (girlfriend, maried, whatever), and had some "limitations", would you still consider them as friends?

1) I consider them friends because we can contact eachother outside the escort-client parameters....that said there some limits, for instance, I will not call them, only email them , out of a respect for privacy, but they do call me even if just to chat. They are my friends in the sense that I can go to them for help or advice; and vice versa. Friends in the sense that I am thinking of you emails or calls.
2) As in I don't call them? Yes.

What about this:
1) Can a client become a friend?
2) Can such a friend still remain a client or that has to stop to remain a friend?
3) If this friendship is real and lasts, would you see this guy differently because you got to know him from this business? If yes, in a good or bad way?

1) yes.
2) a client who becomes a friend can still remain a client. Though in my world, I felt weird when a friend of mine inquired about becoming a client. For some reason it is easy for me to have sex with someone who I just met, but when a friend who I never thought about sexually wanted to have sex with me, I just found it weird
3) why should I see him differently? would you see me differently? some people do insist on seeing me a certain way because I work in the sex trade...

Ronnie,
Naughtylady

 

[Legolas]

Bottom line: Once a real friend, never a client anymore.

I've had sexual friendships with several HDH girls.

First off its not always about the money. Most of the time no money was involved other than the supper thing, or comfy meal at home. Even when I offered needed help (the vast majority of SPs really don't like their work and work as little as necessary), they could have earned one heck of a lot more plying their trade.

The one thing I'd say is that when the relationship is over, the sex goes, paid or otherwise.

 

[Red Paul]

Legolas

How did you guys get from a paid to an unpaid sex relationship? Nice as a guy is (and I try hard), it's hard to imagine telling an SP that, hey, you'd like to spend more time with her but no money will be involved. What's your secret?

 

[eidude]

I actually respect SPs for what they do

Elvis,

I agree with you.

I was not trying to generalize. I am sorry if that is what it appreared to be. I actually respect SPs for what they do. I actually think they do a great job (Most of them any way, from what I read from the board).

Truth is I some times wish this was all about sex, because that way all I loose is money, and not my trust or mind with the girls I meet.

What SPs do and don't do is up to her, and for what ever reason. I will not judge anybody by the work or profession they are in, and for what ever reason they are in it for.

I just wanted to let "Gentle" know of other possible issues when you go from customer-SP relation to a friend/romantic relationship.

Elfgonebad,

I am sorry, I do not want to share the name of the SP because of the following reasons;

1) I could have made some mistake for the SP to do what she did.
2) She does not get a chance to defend her action her, so it will be unfair to blame her (yet).

Thanks

 

[Gentle2her]

I'm happy to not be too annoying.

2) a client who becomes a friend can still remain a client. Though in my world, I felt weird when a friend of mine inquired about becoming a client. For some reason it is easy for me to have sex with someone who I just met, but when a friend who I never thought about sexually wanted to have sex with me, I just found it weird

I understand how it might be quite weird to be ask for paid sex by a "friend" you have never seen as a client. If I was in your shoes, I would probably question myself a lot about that person.
My question was more about a former client becoming a friend, if you would still want to see him as a client, and if so, if it would have an impact on the way you see that client/friend.

3) why should I see him differently? would you see me differently? some people do insist on seeing me a certain way because I work in the sex trade...

Well, the fact a woman has worked in the sex trade may have multiple side-effects to future inter-personal relations IMHO, not necessarily in a bad way. I guess in a friendship kind of way, it should not, but if a relation was to evolve to something more serious, then I think it definitely would at some point. However, since I said at the very beginning of this thread that Love was out of the context, I guess I was out of my own boundaries

they could have earned one heck of a lot more plying their trade.

Yes, and as some of us know, a few ladies (luckily only a few) have become masters in the art of plying their trade.

The one thing I'd say is that when the relationship is over, the sex goes, paid or otherwise.

As with everything else in life...

How did you guys get from a paid to an unpaid sex relationship? Nice as a guy is (and I try hard), it's hard to imagine telling an SP that, hey, you'd like to spend more time with her but no money will be involved. What's your secret?

I can only speak for myself, but building a relationship is not something we "get". It's not a goal, it just happens. It's all a matter of how compatible two persons are, how much they "click" (and I am NOT talking at the sexual level). Just be yourself, if it has to happen, it will. Remember, the SP are human being, just like us.

I just wanted to let "Gentle" know of other possible issues when you go from customer-SP relation to a friend/romantic relationship.

Thanks for clarifying.

Gentle

 

[Red Paul]

Remember, the SP are human being, just like us.

They are ?

(Yes, I know they are. That's a small joke there.)

 

[Lawless]

SP and moneys

Friendship and moneys......stop paying them to see if they will still be your friends and meeting with you for breakfast, lunch and/or dinner????????!!!!!!!!!!

 

[naughtylady]

I understand how it might be quite weird to be ask for paid sex by a "friend" you have never seen as a client. If I was in your shoes, I would probably question myself a lot about that person.

not really, he is someone I know who had been single for a very long time and had never considered the option of paying for sex before I got into the business... He was very lonely for intimate touch, I am sure many of you understand what that is like...after a while your own hand just doesn't do it anymore.

Ronnie,
Naughtylady

 

[naughtylady]

Red Paul Quote:[/Quote:
Originally Posted by Gentle2her
Remember, the SP are human being, just like us.




They are ?

(Yes, I know they are. That's a small joke there.)QUOTE]


OH MY GOD!!!! You mean to say that I am human too!

Ronnie,
Naughtylady

 

[Lawless]

friend and sex

Who is willing to pay a "friend" to have sex with?

How do you look at that "friend" after your installment?

 

[franky]

Franky sayz
franky has " dated" atleast two sp's who he has meet. Both were for a period of about nine months. The first was an incall girl at the agency ABC (before it was ABC). I showed up for the encounter and clicked with the girl. She was finished after me, so we went back to my hotel and had champagne and strawberries in the tub. We continued to "date", basically I paid for the dinner and events and she stayed the night. I think we both liked each other superficially and we each got out of the relationship what we wanted. Me a young companion and her nights out on the town to places she otherwise wouldn't go to. On the first real date I asked about money and she politely said we were on a date and not in a business transaction. The second girl was an outcall girl who worked during the day. she worked for JDM. We would go out at night, usually to a nice restraunt and she would spend the night with me. I never paid her at night, again it was off the books. I would however sometimes call the agency during the day when I wanted some action and would happily pay her at that time. It worked great. Lastly I had one other who wanted to go out but... I had difficulty making the arrangement and it fizzled very quickly. I think the key is having an activity that they have always wanted to do but no one to do it with. Lets face it, most guys their age don't want to go to operas or can't afford it. Same with good restraunts or high end ski resorts. I personally have found these the best sp relationships I have had. I would start another one again in a minute with the right SP. Just frankys thought but hey it worked for me.
franky
PS I have also been approached by girls to meet outside the agency and cut the agency out of the loop. I generally decline this invitaion, as it does not benefit me

 

[naughtylady]

Lawless> I did not have sex with him... it was kind of a desperate cry of lonliness. I saw it for what it was and took it from there.

Ronnie,
Naughtylady

 

[cardshark]

im not in this hobby for a long time but i will say escorts since they are humans if they click with you will and can fall in love with you even though your relationship started that way...just freinds im not sure..i used to call girls from my home....no more...hotels only now...i have sp asking me for my # and if i want to see them outside of business hours...but i got burnt all the times ive done it..even though it becomes free sex I didnt really understand that they really wanted a relashionship and thought of me as a boyfreind???...maybe im stupid...i thought we were being freinds and more...but it wasnt the case and it becomes an ugly situation....can an sp become a girlfreind?? i think so only if the sp stops working...if not it will be an issue all the time...

just be carefull to really know whats going on with an sp and you before you show her where you live..i learned my lessons and am more carefull now

 

[Jackie]

My 2 cents

Very interesting topic of conversation

From my experiences, I have developped different types of relationships with clients over the years. In terms of friendships, I have had both "types":

1. While still seeing them as clients (as per their request), other friendly activities were platonic and I never even thought of asking to be paid for such things.

2. Not seeing them as clients anymore and only being friends.

I can't say that I've had a ton of these said friendships but I have experienced such relationships on a few occassions and still maintain 2 relationships with former clients of mine.

As for romantic relationships with clients, I have had two. The first was a regular customer of mine who I developped feelings for and saw exclusively for quite some time. There was still money involved, in a sugar daddy kind of way but there were definitely emotions from both sides as well.

The second romantic relationship with a client I had, I terminated the business aspect after the first encounter, I had been love struck. I made my "feelings" known by casually asking the client out myself on my "day off" by email to see his reaction.

We're still together after a few years

So it is definitely possible and things can happen. In my experience the only thing I wouldn't hold my breath for is a friendship with unpaid sex involved or falling in love. Honestly, as an escort, the last place I would have looked for such things was in the clients I was seeing. Maybe not completely impossible, but sure as heck rare.

I would have to point out that the clients that I did develop friendships with, I only proceeded with because I felt confident that those persons were very clear on the type of relationship we were entering. If I felt any kind of emotional attachment or desire for more than just a friendship, I just stopped it there and didn't even entertain the thought of going any further than a business relationship.

Jackie

 

[EagerBeaver]

SPs as Friends

If you have been a hobbyist for some years, and have seen at least 10 escorts a year, and haven't developed friendships that go beyond the sessions, I would say that personality wise you are a dud. If you develop friendships easily in life then you will as a hobbyist; I suppose the reverse is also true.

Platonic relationships are important, both male to male and male to female. I once had a platonic female friend (not an SP, just a lady I met at a Club Med) who introduced me to a friend of hers whom she described as having a problem: the only men she had any kind of a relationship with were the men she had sex with. She had no platonic male friends. My female friend said to me about her, "I don't get it. I have tried to tell her that men are people too." Anyway, this woman was typical of many men. They can't or won't have or seek to have platonic friendships with women. And I don't get that.

I have cultivated some platonic relationships with SPs that I have met. Once a level of trust is established, it is really like any other friendship. I see them as friends just like any other male friend I have.