Honesty

[godddess_harmonia]

Is this World War III?

I think GG is expressing his opinion, and it could be taken as he is passing judgement. I am not going to take sides and say wether he is right or wrong but he has a right to express his opinion. There are some people who believe when they see sp's that they are not paying for sex. There are other people who are in relationships that believe seeing an sp is not cheating. That is there opinion and they have a right to it, even though the vast majority of people would disagree with them.

I agree with your post, Daringly.

I don't understand how posts get blown way out of proportion at times. Everyone has a basic human right to expressing their opinions, and there is absolutely no need to bring in any kind of direct aggression into it.

If you don't like what you read, then you have the right to express your own opinions, but let's keep things at some sort of mature level without having to insult one another for not seeing eye to eye.

Harmony

 

[MakeIt]

All I can share with you is that when I sleep with an SP, I never sleep with another the same day and I sure as hell NEVER sleep with my wife the same day. I wouldn't feel right about it.
GG

I'm the same on this - its a major issue for me. I also could not carry on a relationship while my GF/SO who is SPing. On the other hand, I might be open to swinging but not totally sure about it. I mean I could try it out and maybe be OK with it or decide its not for me.

I also think about being in an SPs shoes. I'm not sure how they deal with such a job, but if they can manage to adjust to seeing many different men for sex as part of a business transaction, I suppose it just becomes part of their job. And if they're good at it, they probably like that job - and that doesn't mean they're falling in love with the clients or having non-stop orgasms. It just means they can go to work every day feeling reasonable good about themselves and what they do. And if they want to also have a relationship, then they somehow have to adjust to it. It may not always be pretty, but no relationship is.

That's their life - for you and I however, it could never be that way, I think we're all saying the same thing.

 

[General Gonad]

There are other people who are in relationships that believe seeing an sp is not cheating. That is their opinion and they have a right to it, even though the vast majority of people would disagree with them.

Daringly,

As I stated before cheating is cheating and I might add here, in the end, I am only cheating myself. The funny thing about this thread that nobody seems to notice is that the person I am harshest on in terms of passing judgment is me! I cannot judge others because I do not know them but I can sure as hell look myself in the mirror and scream: "You're cheating and you're unhappy because you're having a tough time coping with your illness!"

GG

P.S. We all have a right to express our opinions on subjects even if they're diametrically opposed to what others perceive as being the single "Truth."

 

[General Gonad]

I also think about being in an SPs shoes. I'm not sure how they deal with such a job, but if they can manage to adjust to seeing many different men for sex as part of a business transaction, I suppose it just becomes part of their job. And if they're good at it, they probably like that job - and that doesn't mean they're falling in love with the clients or having non-stop orgasms. It just means they can go to work every day feeling reasonable good about themselves and what they do. And if they want to also have a relationship, then they somehow have to adjust to it. It may not always be pretty, but no relationship is.

That's their life - for you and I however, it could never be that way, I think we're all saying the same thing.

MakeIt,

This isn't a job like any other. The physical and more importantly, mental toll is extremely hard to deal with even for the best of them. I just cannot see how they can easily juggle the demands of this "job" with the demands of a relationship with someone they truly love and respect. Some say it's easy because we're honest with each other but I do not think it's that easy. If I was in their shoes, I would avoid relationships while I'm SPing. That is just how I would approach it.

GG

 

[General Gonad]

Vivre sa vie comme on l'entend et n'avoir de compte à rendre à personne, pour moi, c'est ça la vraie vie.

Ne se sentir coupable de rien, et n'avoir rien à justifier. Tout ceci n'est qu'une question d'oppinion.

Maylee

Dear Maylee,

Note that I said "if" I was in their shoes... Obviously I am not so I cannot pretend to understand what is going through someone else's mind. Moreover, I cannot say that all sex workers think the same in terms of their personal relationships. You are not all a unified voice on this topic. Most SPs/MPs I met with avoid sex work and personal relationships at the same time.

As far as your opinion on living a real life means living a life free of guilt and not having to answer to anyone, it is utopia. We all answer to someone even if it is ourselves. It would also mean a lonely life, which is not my idea of happiness. For me, happiness comes by giving and sharing your soul with a special person and it also comes by thinking about the less fortunate in our society. In other words, show me a person who only cares about their needs and I'll show you how miserable that person really is.

GG

P.S. Tout ceci n'est qu'une question d'opinion.

 

[General Gonad]

Voudrais-tu insinuer que ma vie est misérable? Si c'est le cas, alors, tu es dans le champ...

Maylee

No, you are infering this. What I am saying is that people who only care about their own needs and nothing but their needs are condemned to be miserable. To say that happiness only comes from living a life free of guilt and answering to nobody is utopic and grossly simplistic.

I do not know you well enough to know if you're truly happy. I know you're sweet, very pleasant and a great masseuse but I simply do not know if you're truly happy. You're an intensely private person and rarely share your feelings.

I just do not share your view on what a "real life" means. You have a right to believe it, I do not believe in it because it is utopic, simplistic and would make me miserable.

GG

 

[General Gonad]

Alors, je te fais plaisir, je te laisse le dernier mot, puisque tu semble vouloir avoir absolument raison. C'est aussi ce que j'appellerais avoir de la classe.

Maylee

Maylee,

I am seriously disappointed at your unprecedented outburst. I never "attacked or judged" Ronnie, you or anyone else on this thread. I was expressing my opinion - which by the way, I have all the right to do - that open relationships are extremely difficult and not for me and probably not for most people here.

You popped up tonight and felt the need to defend Ronnie by telling me that I have no clue what it's like to be in your shoes. Why did you do this? Was I being so vicious in my "attacks" towards Ronnie? No, I wasn't and you know it. I am glad that she is happy but I wouldn't suggest open relationships based on Ronnie's testimonial.

I am sick and tired of people feeling the need to defend others because they perceive someone is judging them. There is this pseudo solidarity among sex workers that often borders on absurdity. Watch out because if your opinion contradicts one of our own, you're an automatic target.

GG

P.S. I guess I lack "class" for replying to your absurd post accusing me of something I never did.

 

[mrten]

And another thing......

Live & let live, to each their own, different strokes for different folks. They all add up to the same thing.
Perhaps things are getting too personal in this discussion.

 

[General Gonad]

"You were together for a year and a half before you started SPing. This is even worse than I thought."

After making a statement like that, how on God's green earth can you possibly say you never judged Ronnie?

Regnad,

Not surprisingly, I knew you were going to harp on that comment again. You're hopelessly predictable. If all of you bothered to carefully read the whole thread, I was stating my opinion that these "open" relationships are extremely difficult and rarely work. This is my opinion and I stand by it. I wouldn't recommend them to clients or SPs in a private or public discussion.

As for the statement above, I subsequently expressed my concern that she was being manipulated for financial reasons which she then denied. This was why I wrote "it is much worse than I thought." I cannot possibly fathom being with someone I truly love for a year and a half and then open a discussion on how she's going to start SPing - it would be the end of my relationship. At least Ronnie admitted that it wasn't an easy transition for him.

Once again I see people here that distort statements and are quick to harp on me because I expressed my opinions. Maylee shocked me last night with her accusations and I think she should have refrained from posting. She is a wonderful person but she doesn't have the monopoly of wisdom in this field - none of us do.

A lot of you feel that Ronnie needs to be defended from the "big bad General." Give me a break, Ronnie is smart enough to be able to hold her own and unlike many of you, if I offend someone, I publicly apologize.

So Ronnie, did I offend you in any way, shape or form? If so, please accept my sincerest apologies. This whole thread is supposed to be about "honesty" but many of the members that posted here are incapable of being honest with themselves, let alone others. So for me, it was yet another example of dishonesty.

GG

 

[General Gonad]

Right. And your opinion is that her quite happy relationship is "worse than I thought." That is judgement, plain and simple. There is no other possible way of interpreting it.

I'm quite sorry that I don't speak French and can't read Maylee's post.

Regnad,

If Ronnie is happy, good for her. I still stand by my opinion despite your contstant attempts to invalidate and distort every single thing I write. I know exactly why you're doing this - to paint a negative image of me so a certain someone doesn't meet up with me.

Well Lord Regnad, if that certain someone concludes that I am a "narrow minded, condescending jerk" by reading this entire thread, and refuses to meet me because of your attempts to distort what I write, then she really isn't worth seeing.

Now bugger off...

GG

 

[General Gonad]

strenghth of character?

If anything, I envy the strenghth of character that allows her to live so openly.

Strength of character? Well, let me take you to the cancer wards of some of our fine hospitals to show you young kids and adults that exemplify what I see as real strength of character. I do not see any particular strength of character just because someone is in an open relationship. Let's all take a step back and start posting intelligent things.

GG

 

[naughtylady]

I think one of the problems here is that when posting compared to discussing things face to face is that tone of voice is lost. Tone of voice gives a lot of information.

GG>>> At first I did feel attacked but now that you clarified everything is cool now.

Ronnie,
Naughtylady

 

[General Gonad]

I think one of the problems here is that when posting compared to discussing things face to face is that tone of voice is lost. Tone of voice gives a lot of information.

GG>>> At first I did feel attacked but now that you clarified everything is cool now.

Ronnie,
Naughtylady

Ronnie,

I am glad we're cool. You are right that when speaking face to face, you get a sense of someone's tone and no, I wasn't attacking or judging you, just stating my opinion and my concerns.

GG