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UNDFTD

Member
Jan 18, 2006
333
1
18
I still see this as a business deal. You say no support, no exclusivity. That means you are still escorting, but just for one client...it would be impossible for a man to ever feel secure with this arrangement because he knows if the money ever ran out, so would she.
Exactly. And apparently love is only conditional with support and exclusivity. Or is it the other way around...she loves him and therefore must support for exclusivity. Lol

A long and bitter road awaits that delusional positioning. And an awakening will just be sad regrets. Can't expect many mid-twenty somethings to understand this.

I know these kind of subtle arrangements are made all the time in high society circles and that's fine.
You'd be surprised they happen at every social and economic class. Same can of Coke.
 

Merlot

Banned
Nov 13, 2008
4,111
0
0
Visiting Planet Earth
Hooo Boy,

I understand that you guys feel like oh she just wants me for my money and it makes you feel bad to pay for sex but you have to look at it like your giving money and opportunities for the girl that you love to accomplish her goals that your investing in her career - not like your giving he money to blow there are way to know if the girl is in it for the cash or in it cause she loves you.. ever girls different ever girl shows it in her own way ...

if a guy wanted me to stop doing this job then he must compensate me for the money id be loosing by given him exclusivity...

Another thing gugu is women inlove give there 300% men a wired a bit differently so by spending on us its a sign to say they are investing in you cause they are there to stay... if the guy is not really that into you hes not going to spend much cause hes not there to stay...

I've been trying to catch up on this thread. I haven't read most of it and after reading a little more than two pages I'm already discouraged from reading more. I'm an egalitarian in every way. It doesn't matter who you are regarding any outer description, category, or definition. I always thought what counts most is what two people are inside and making the relationship a two-way street. Yet, the one theme I'm picking up from some ladies is me..me...me...guys must prove it to me. I'm seeing nothing about how the guys are supposed to take an interest in women as persons, or love me for who I am inside. All I'm getting from the women is...support ME...pay for ME...prove it to ME...make life great for ME! Wow!!! It's all so superficial and grasping. Then the payback for the guy is what...sex? But for the prospect of sex it sounds like the guy has to give everything just to keep your attention, and if he hasn't spent enough to justify anything further, oh well, move on because you didn't hardly make an investment in him so dump his butt like a used product.

Well ladies, this all sounds like the female flip-side of male chauvinism. I'm sure I've missed some important nuances in this thread, and maybe what I'm reading is to narrow to represent you, but by now I would have thought there would be more sophistication coming out. What I'm getting is self-interest, materialism, and plain taking. It seems like whether you are talking about escorting or "real life" you want to be bought...and well bought.

I'm very disappointed to read that some ladies seem to think proving it is mostly based on large chunks of money, and forever. I'm also more disappointed some seem to think most men will always be satisfied with superficial return on these huge permanent expenditures, and not one word as far as I've read about what you have to offer him beyond a vague promise of love...and paid in advance to be cancelled if the payments are ever missed. So the attraction for the guy is what...keeping a hottie hot for cash...like a prize trophy. Is that supposed to hold up forever??? Isn't the kind of guy who would gladly pay like this the kind who will move on frequently to newer trophies.

Well, I always said that good and bad men and women were basically the same. Voila!

:thumb:

Merlot
 

MtlNewbie

Active Member
Jan 24, 2009
318
74
28
Im really done talking about this or explaining myself. no one gets what im trying to say most guys just want to fuck and not have relationships so i have these rules to size out if the guy is in it just to fuck or if he really likes me and if that makes me a bad person then im the baddest bitch out there.

I agree with this. I feel like you've written all these posts saying the same thing and the conversation goes nowhere. I find it interesting that you size out the guy by how much money he is willing to spend on you. Another comment that really struck me was when you said you won't give a guy exclusivity unless you are genuinely into him and he can support you financially. But you were talking about a real boyfriend! I'm amazed at how much money plays a factor in everything, if you are willing to date someone, how you prove that he is into you and not just wanting to sleep with you. Even your last comment you imply that Alyssa's relationship ultimately didn't work out because he didn't give her his wallet?!
 

Merlot

Banned
Nov 13, 2008
4,111
0
0
Visiting Planet Earth
To me this is the saddest thing I ever read, even seen as a job someone has to find fun and yes joy in what she does otherwise your choice of line of work is not healthy...sex is not either for money or for love, its a pleasure shared, sometime with a financial paradigm but still to read that there is only fake emotion involve because you only see dollar signs makes me guess that you are very very young?... good luck my pretty girl...

Hmmm,

I can understand how a woman wants a guy who is an earner, has drive and ambition, but to measure everything by how much he spends while indicating anything the woman would give back is based on payment...that seems about as coldly mercenary as it can get.

merlot i understand what you saying - but unfortunately in this business and in this world GUY JUST WANT TO FUCK - so they have to proove there not just in it for the ass - women are different were so selfless we catch feelings very easily - weve basically planed our wedding and our kids names on the first date.. thats just how were wired

I sent you a one word comment about how you look, "WOW", before I read this thread. You are a real doll, and probably have excellent enticing skills to get what you want. But I think the problem is that what you want is going to take you into a cycle of finding just the kind of guys that will reinforce your extremely cynical view of men. I wouldn't be surprised if the perceptions of men and the kind of expectations of men you have became so reinforced that you will have a very hard time accepting that anyone can "prove it" to you as you say.

As for not "understanding anything" you said, you can see by the consistency of the reactions that you are coming across the same to almost everyone including the women here who are also escorts like you. That shows you the reactions aren't just a male reactionary impulse, but something broader. The problem is you seem to see yourself as a kind of product referring to the benefits of sex, cooking, cleaning, and leaving out nearly everything you might be able to offer of the inside person, and worse, don't seem interested in anything the guy might offer of the inner qualities. As I've said, I think any guy attracted to the kind of basis for a relationship you seem to want is going to think...uh huh...well she can't blame me if I play it that way too.

I don't know why you feel this way about men. Maybe it reflects too many of your past experiences. Maybe you thought this way all of the time, put this perspective over all the guys you met and your views became self-fulfilling because this is the kind of guy you chased. Maybe once you were a different kind of girl who got very badly burned. I knew a woman that happened to 20 years ago who thought she was going to marry a guy who later decided to move on and she became impenetrably jaded so much she could never trust any guy again. It's was an attitude that left her with little chance to regain real companionship, little chance to see the good in any guy, and left her very alone over many years.

Again, if you feel this way: "GUY JUST WANT TO FUCK", I think your attitude is probably going to be self-fulfilling because your don't seem to be open to any other possibilities and you are cornering yourself in cynical spiral. I'm sure there are plenty of guys who will give such a hot looking lady like you exactly what you want as long as you also have the charm and as long as you stay young or hot. But in my opinion you've got yourself trapped in an attitude and goal that offers the guys little more than the perception of you as a product...a trophy, not much more than what you accuse the guys of wanting, especially since you don't seem to offer the inner person or seek it out in the men. Most unfortunately I think you views will reinforce a lot of very negative views chauvinists have said about women, and offer them an excuse to be just what you think they are.

Good luck in your choices and your life. But as one of those you believe only want a piece of ass...I'm not interested in anyone who only has that to offer. Yes, in the escort business sex is most of the interest because that is where the business sets the boundaries. In life sex is wonderful, but it's the person inside that makes it great and I don't see much of an inner person in what you seem to offer...and if sex is all there for a life together it's very far from enough.

Good luck,

Merlot
 

curious2012

Active Member
Aug 10, 2012
154
41
28
IMHO, sadly, this thread is pretty much a representation of the good old clichés that women think men are only interested in sex.... and men think women are only interested in their money. I understand that these POV are being exchanged in an ESCORT REVIEW BOARD and may be biased by the nature of this particular relationship (this is a business!) but the basic human need for companionship does not have to be financially negotiated. BF/GF and for that matter all relationdhips (exclusive, open, friendship etc) are or should be, a choice that two people make to share moments of their lives together simply because they enjoy each other's presence. Considering that life is nothing but a series of moments we should choose carefully who we share them with and for what reason....and enjoy each one as if it were the last. For me that is the basic difference between human/emotional relationships and business/financial relationships.
 

snoodle

Member
Oct 11, 2010
980
6
18
i recently started a relationship with an SP. We are truly in love..but now she is putting pressure on me to take the relationship to the next level...so i don't know what to do :s
 

snoodle

Member
Oct 11, 2010
980
6
18
she did it for a short time but stopped working because of me..
no money involved

the problem is i want all the benefits from a relationship but i don't want to commit and i still want free time to sleep with a bunch of other woman :(
 

ManApart

Respect & Honour
Jul 4, 2011
1,405
3
0
45
On The Front lines
she did it for a short time but stopped working because of me..
no money involved

Nice one. Not easy for an SP to give up the cash!

the problem is i want all the benefits from a relationship but i don't want to commit and i still want free time to sleep with a bunch of other woman :(

Love the honesty snoodle lol. I hear you, this is something I struggle with as well. But then again, I am not in this situation, so it is difficult to predict what I would do. I would probably be reacting just like you are...
 

snoodle

Member
Oct 11, 2010
980
6
18
There is an expression I really like: ''what's good for the gander is good for the goose..''

Snoodle you cannot have it both way..

And honestly what's the big deal about being an escort and a girlfriend...give me a break, to read some of you guys, I would think I am on a prudish catholic board...


i didn't ask her to stop escorting..she was doing it for a bit but didn't like it so she stopped on her own...

I know normally you can't have it both ways but I DO want it both ways..lol I refuse to compromise

Thats the problem now I'm faced with a choice i don't want to make

so i guess ill just have to lay the cards on the table drette :smile:
 

ManApart

Respect & Honour
Jul 4, 2011
1,405
3
0
45
On The Front lines
And honestly what's the big deal about being an escort and a girlfriend...give me a break, to read some of you guys, I would think I am on a prudish catholic board...

Being prudish has nothing to do with it. I have spoken to many SPs who were in relationships or had been in relationships while working and it was a nightmare. I have also spoken to a few guys who have dated SPs and they all told me the same thing, about how the problems and issues came up little by little and ruined things.

There are a few cases where both parties are basically swingers and being an SP isn't a problem. It is in the large minority for sure and I still question if in the long run, things will not go off track.
 

Maria Divina

Adorable libertine
Apr 10, 2007
1,026
4
36
Around Montréal...
the problem is i want all the benefits from a relationship but i don't want to commit and i still want free time to sleep with a bunch of other woman :(



So, she is probably not a girl you truly love. Because, when a man really want a woman, that's really easy to take the decision to commit himself.

A man in love will want to commit. You don't sound to be in love. You just like her.

But from her part, it seems that she really loves you, she quits escorting for you, and want to live with you.
That's really sad to read again this long story of people being in a couple, when one doesn't love like the other do... :(

Will you be honest and tell her that you don't want to commit and just continue like that and having the benefits (have all her for free) and want to go all around?
 
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Techman

The Grim Reaper
Dec 23, 2004
4,195
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gugu

Active Member
Feb 11, 2009
1,741
18
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So, she is probably not a girl you truly love.

That's obvious. Il veut le beurre, l'argent du beurre, la vache du voisin pis, tant qu'à y être, la femme du voisin.

***

Too bad Tina has deleted her posts. She was honest and, as a matter of fact not far from how reality often is. Less then half a century ago a man wealth was probably factor number one in choosing a husband for a lady, making sure he could provide for her and her family. Love, apart from the fantasies of the beginning was something she would hope for more then being certain it would happen. What she is looking for is a man who could provide for her as an artist. I have two friends for which this is happening. He is a millionaire, she is an artist. She gets good money for her works all over the world but on a very irregular basis. He pays for everything, housing, studio, travel, etc. She is the happiest woman on earth and he the most happy man. We celebrated their 35th years together last years. It happens. I believe her when she says she will commit all her love to him if this happens.

I guess all of this relates pretty much with our representation of love. Some tend to think that it is something that just hits you from nowhere, like a fatality. Other see it more like a result of action and commitment. This may be a sexist comment, but I think more men are to be found in the first category and more women in the second.
 

Maria Divina

Adorable libertine
Apr 10, 2007
1,026
4
36
Around Montréal...
That's obvious. Il veut le beurre, l'argent du beurre, la vache du voisin pis, tant qu'à y être, la femme du voisin.

Il me semble que j'ai déjà lu le pendant masculin de cette phrase... :)

***

Too bad Tina has deleted her posts. She was honest and, as a matter of fact not far from how reality often is. Less then half a century ago a man wealth was probably factor number one in choosing a husband for a lady, making sure he could provide for her and her family. Love, apart from the fantasies of the beginning was something she would hope for more then being certain it would happen. What she is looking for is a man who could provide for her as an artist. I have two friends for which this is happening. He is a millionaire, she is an artist. She gets good money for her works all over the world but on a very irregular basis. He pays for everything, housing, studio, travel, etc. She is the happiest woman on earth and he the most happy man. We celebrated their 35th years together last years. It happens. I believe her when she says she will commit all her love to him if this happens.

Of course, she deleted. There were false conclusions and judgements on her who happened.


I guess all of this relates pretty much with our representation of love. Some tend to think that it is something that just hits you from nowhere, like a fatality. Other see it more like a result of action and commitment. This may be a sexist comment, but I think more men are to be found in the first category and more women in the second.

My own experience is men are choosing their wives, girlfriends etc..., exactly for what they can bring in their lives... Love is not sufficient, women good to be married (or committed to) have to have certain qualities. And I can tell you since the feminist movement, money is important now for the men too... and are just added to the traditional qualities men were looking for... Good looking, Clean, good cooker, organized, "a good girl" (soft and easy to live)

That's exactly the same pattern, but the search qualities of men good to be married (or committed to) are a bit different, but are almost based on the same qualities, except, we want a man, a "real man" who is strong, intelligent, independent money wise...

Life is life, and as I have always said, majority of people are looking much for the "secondary benefits" than can bring to be in a relationship, than to find real true love. Men and Women, each gender.

We did not invent nothing discussing about that in this thread; this have been the reality since the world is.

And that's why "Love" is such a big dream, source of many songs, movies, romans... That's really rare a real shared love, and that's always been... and we are all dreaming of that, in secret... No? Not if we are bitter, but other people, yes.
 

snoodle

Member
Oct 11, 2010
980
6
18
i am falling more in love with her every day :)

But how long will it last ? that is the question :confused:
 

snoodle

Member
Oct 11, 2010
980
6
18
ya thats why i want to take my time to see if we have something that can last.

I decided not to do the vasectomy because i might want to have a child with her one day
 
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