How long should the “Girl Friend Experience” last?

[marc7]

I think we should change gfe for friend with benefit !!!
I remember long time ago ...2002 it was late and I found this agency still open. Went to the apartment, they surprisingly showed me all the girls , 6 off them and I took the blonde hand ! That was a great encounter, physical emotional great! At the end just before leaving she asked me why I choose her and I said because she had the most beautiful smile and we kissed passionately! I got scared that was the first time I kissed an sp and when I got down the stairs I was asking myself why I was not running up again kiss her again . I was madly in love with her ... Took me a while before seeing another sp !
I had my best moment with sp when they where more a friend than a gfe . Someone who you can talk too, email stupid photos on how to distinguish a female lobster or inside the ghostbusters mobile ! Sorry !
It's much easier sentimentality to have a friend to cuddle than obsessing over a sp .
A courtisane should not be your girlfriend but more a fuck friend that you can have all kinds of fun but not seeing yourself spending you're life with !

So no more gfe but friend with benefit much more discreet and fun !
Can watch hockey and fuck at the same time !!!

 

[johnybird]

My point is more, you should know and respect the boundary. SPs are here primarily for one thing - money. A few emails here or there - fine. When clients start over-stepping and really becoming a time burden, then that's not fair to the SP. She's not getting paid for all the time spent emailing your touchy feely ass. This happens often. We can be a needy, clingy sad little group, we hobbyists.

I guess we both agree then :smile:

There have been so many times that I've just wanted to contact some of the ladies I see on a regular basis just to see how they were doing, especially if I hadn't seen them for longer then a few weeks, but I've had to stop myself because I wasn't sure if I was crossing the line. I second guess every single e-mail or text I send that's not related to booking an appointment.

I don't think there's anything wrong in keeping constant contact with someone as long as you both are ok with it and you understand and respect the boundaries you set. I don't need the Niceness to be faked before or after a date for me to see them again (I'll accept being "faked nice" during though lol!).

Just because you are paying someone to be intimate with them doesn't mean that some sort of friendship cannot develop, weather it's just meeting them for lunch/dinner like you said, or just with e-mails, calls or texts, we are only human after all.

 

[Lily from Montreal]

I love the concept of ''friends with benefit'' because that is exactly how I describe my relations as Lily: I joke that I get the benefit and we both get the friendship!

As long as everybody follows wolfie boundaries comment the friendship can ,and do ,last a long time, it is only when the expectations are too great or unrealistic, that it become unhealthy and sadly the relation has to end...

 

[traveler2010]

As I expected there are many opinions on this, most of them gray, but a few black and a few white. I got exactly what I had hoped to get, an understanding of where I fall on the continuum of the answers from you gentlemen, and more importantly, although only a few ladies responded, I did get good information from you.

Our hobby seems to range from “Let’s meet and fuck,” at one end, to “Let’s make believe we have a real relationship and then meet and fuck.” The former is essentially what happens we book with an agency (although the real extreme would be picking up a streetwalker). And the latter occasionally (although rarely) happens with an indy. There is not much room for a gray area with the agency girls, the process is just not set up for that to work, and other than some email “get to know each other foreplay,” or follow-up “you were great let’s meet again” foreplay the make believe real relationship is rare with indys also. It is probably even more rare that make believe turns into the real thing, although I know it does happen, and also evolves into friendships.

So if anyone is interested, here is where I land on this question. It is probably no different than where I started out, but easier to understand now, so thanks to the group. I am in the gray area but I like both as long as they don’t go to the extremes. Sometimes I am just plain horny and hop on the Harley and head to Montreal. Totally unplanned, I am just horny, and nothing else matters! When I get there I call the agency with the hottest girls working and try to arrange an hour with the hottest one I can. Then I do it again a few hours later, maybe even a third time depending on if I ate my Wheaties or not. Then there are the planned trips when I know weeks in advance I will be in Montreal for a few days. I have a favorite girl, or maybe a couple favorites who I have a connection with and have maintained contact and communication with and try to plan a lengthy time (with just one of them). Sometimes that is a 4 or 6 hour dinner date, sometimes it is an overnight, and occasionally with someone with whom I have really connected, a weekend together. I have even been known to set up and schedule monthly visits out several months for any of the above. This all depends on my mood and what kind of connection the lady and I have. Sometimes we just want to fuck and have mad passionate sex, and sometimes good intelligent conversation and making love is just what the doctor ordered. With a lengthy date and the right lady I can have it all, but without the ability to communicate outside of the encounter I would not know if she was the right lady, and when you are talking about an overnight or a weekend you are risking a lot of money.

Anyway, thanks everyone for contributing to this thread, I hope the discussion continues, I would love to hear more, especially if any of you wonderful ladies have anything to add.

 

[Halloween Mike]

Ok, ill give you both the client point of view and the booker point of you in this.

Client :

You may have only her, you may have maybe 1 or 2 other "regulars", but more or less you have the time to do that, to keep more in touch.

Booker :

For having been told by SPs, or simply having see it from my own eyes, this can become extremely time consuming... When you get 100-150 text messages per day, multiple emails, have to reply to everybody and always appear to be "super happy to hear from them" and that getting news was the best thing in your day, it really get on the system. As Lily mentioned, also some people book once per 2 months and expect to have almost daily contact. They probably get turn on by this and at some point the SP kinda become a sex line kinda way for them... but free.

Keep in mind guys many SPs have lots of clients, and if every client that book once a month or 2 expect to have conversation on a daily or bi-daily stasis, its just not possible. Once an SP has done her shift, she want to go home, she want to turn this other life away. Imagine if you finish work and your boss keep calling you to ask stuff every 20 mins at home, at some point you would go nuts...

I know, sorry i may break some guys bubble... lol, but altough a provider may like you genuinely, and enjoy your compagny during the meeting, most will want it to end there. Obviously i can't speak for all of them, but lots of what i saw was like that, and i can totally understand them. After all its a work...

Now i just want to reply personally to this

''we met 3 years ago,just wanted to say hi,how is life?'',first is nice, second is weird ,if you have no intention of seeing me again why would you want to keep in touch?

I do not think its weird personally, especially if its just ONE message and after that its done. I think its just a way of showing he enjoyed your compagny and see you as a humanbeing and not just a number. He is just taking some news, by courtesy, and i really don't see whats wrong with it unless it become frequent exchanges. But obviously this is your right to not reply to him. Could be also a way of breaking the ice without being straigh to the point, see how you feel about him, maybe if you reply the next answer could be "hey it could be fun to see each other again" ... Anyway just my point of you of course.

 

[gurgeh85]

With a lengthy date and the right lady I can have it all, but without the ability to communicate outside of the encounter I would not know if she was the right lady, and when you are talking about an overnight or a weekend you are risking a lot of money.

I avoid overnight encounters since I snore so badly. I also hate one hour dates because they are too rushed. 90 minutes or 2 hours is fine for a first meeting, IMO. I also find that most ladies in this field are generally personable, otherwise they wouldn't last for very long in the biz, so I don't worry about making a connection beforehand. I usually assume that it will happen once we meet.

 

[Lily from Montreal]

I do reply to all my message ,unless it is vulgar, because I am polite but I would never be so blunt as asking for a meeting,bad manners.

it is just that I am going to tell you a secret my pretty boy : if I see someone only once and never hear from him again,after 3 years if I get a very short and vague message with no name or details I am not sure who you are...
I do remember all my meetings of the current year and if I see someone more then once no problem or you keep in touch,you are etched in my memory, but one hour 3 years ago?

Unless you write specifics like ''I am the one who brought you the pink champagne...'',yes then I will remember but no details,not even a name?

In real life I used to know all my styles number for every collection I draw,not anymore...too many years...Now I will see a style on a person and think,that's look nice and then realized I draw it lol

 

[zmontreal]

Very interesting question and I'm glad you asked it! My two cents - it is literally impossible for an SP to fulfill that sort of request, and if she manages to do so she should not be considered an SP but rather a girlfriend or a friend with benefits. There are several reasons IMO why an SP cannot and (and perhaps should not) perform these sorts of services.

Reason 1: When girls decide to become escorts it is done so under the assumption that time with clients will be compensated. Just like any job you should never be expected to put in more work than is in the job description, at least without additional compensation. It's like paying someone to paint your house and then being upset when they don't mow the lawn and wash the windows too. We don't have these unrealistic expectations with traditional service workers so why should we have them of SPs?

Reason 2: Any good SP knows that in order to satisfy her client she has to dedicate herself 100% to the client - mentally, physically, and emotionally. During that hour you're the only person who matters to the SP and everything else in her life will take second place to you for that brief time. This can be pretty exhausting experience and I find that at the end of the day I’m drained both physically and mentally, and need time away from the job to recharge. This doesn't mean that I don't enjoy my job - I really, really do - but even people who love their job need a break at the end of the week.

Reason 3: This doesn’t apply to most other SPs but I happen to be in a relationship with a guy who knows exactly what I do for a living and is ok with it. However, at the end of the day I’m expected to put work away and give him my full attention and affection. Often clients forget that when they try to extend their own GFE that their actually interrupting someone else’s (my boyfriend’s).

Reason 4: The simple fact that there is not enough time in the day! I can’t speak for other escorts, but to put my own situation into perspective I currently have 140 men on my client list. Let’s be conservative and say that 1/4 of them will want continuous contact - which is typically the case - and that time required to read and respond to a long email is 10 minutes (again being conservative). That’s 350 minutes per day - almost 6 hours - that I would have to work per day unpaid in order for all my clients to be properly satisfied!

 

[danielrich]

The girlfriend experience in my opinion should last at least a few months if not years!

:eyebrows:

 

[wolfie7]

Very interesting question and I'm glad you asked it! My two cents...

...

Reason 4: The simple fact that there is not enough time in the day! I can’t speak for other escorts, but to put my own situation into perspective I currently have 140 men on my client list. Let’s be conservative and say that 1/4 of them will want continuous contact - which is typically the case - and that time required to read and respond to a long email is 10 minutes (again being conservative). That’s 350 minutes per day - almost 6 hours - that I would have to work per day unpaid in order for all my clients to be properly satisfied!

Helpful input from a star SP herself. Merci. So, one piece of advice to Z, and one insight and takeaway for the gents:

To Z: No need to provide details on just how many of us are after you! Real numbers can be a bit of cold water on fantasies, just like daylight on strippers... :lol: You're also going to make fellow indies jealous of your overflowing black book. :nono: :lol:

To the gents: She's done the math for you. The lesson should be: Don't write long emails! If the SP can read them and respond in 2 minutes, your dreams of 'extended GFE' may actually become a possibility!! It's only 70 minutes a day, then. I mean, come on, what's an hour for friends. Hehehe...

I jest, I jest... Pls ignore me...

 

[zmontreal]

Helpful input from a star SP herself. Merci. So, one piece of advice to Z, and one insight and takeaway for the gents:

To Z: No need to provide details on just how many of us are after you! Real numbers can be a bit of cold water on fantasies, just like daylight on strippers... :lol: You're also going to make fellow indies jealous of your overflowing black book. :nono: :lol:

To the gents: She's done the math for you. The lesson should be: Don't write long emails! If the SP can read them and respond in 2 minutes, your dreams of 'extended GFE' may actually become a possibility!! It's only 70 minutes a day, then. I mean, come on, what's an hour for friends. Hehehe...

I jest, I jest... Pls ignore me...

I agree, it's a turn off to hear how many clients an SP has, but I think putting things into numbers is the most effective way to demonstrate my point. And I think it's an important point to make.

Oh and I should mention that I don't have any intention of inspiring jealousy in other Indys. Success in this industry is short-lived and in a few weeks or months there'll be someone else in my place. There are plenty of girls out there who are just as good - or even better - than me, but who have fewer clients.

 

[Numerati]

It starts the moment you get a reply back from her where she says yes she will meet you at that time in so and so if she is an indie. If she is an agency girl things start when she shows up at your door. And they all end when she leaves.

 

[Lily from Montreal]

The girlfriend experience you describe is the real life thing ,mind it is like that for some,not all, this thread is about the illusion provided by the ladies...

The question was if is it is a normal expectation to keep in touch with a lady you met and expect her to exchange pro bono and how intensively...

Most seems to think no,especially the very busy ladies...myself I disagree that it is impossible as that is what I am looking for from my favorites,operative word ''favorite''...
Not many reach that status, or keep it...It implies not turning into only a penpal,I do enjoy reading heart columns,it is my secret pleasure but I am not Ann Landers either...
It is time consuming but enhance the actual meeting to banter or keep each other apprise of what happen in our lives in between meeting.
As long as it is understood that I might answer a long email with a very short one, as some my dates have more time on their hands to write then me ,it is possible to keep the relation alive virtually till all the stars align and we can continue the conversation live.

 

[Merlot]

Hello all,

Very interesting question and I'm glad you asked it! My two cents - it is literally impossible for an SP to fulfill that sort of request,...

All good points Zoe. As you said it doesn't makes sense in several ways that any escort could provide that kind of experience for most and especially on the scale you describe. Still, I agree with LilyForYou that doing it at all is not impossible. I'd know because I was a part of that kind of relationship with a very popular lady and I know I wasn't the only one of her clients like that.

It's all a matter of what you, clients and escorts, want to do and what you both feel comfortable doing, and we know satisfaction, convenience, and profitability have a lot to do with that choice. I don't see how either side would shut that off completely if it seemed like something workable and beneficial, and exhilarating.

Happy choices,

Merlot