how not to get attached to a sp? :confused:

[airjoey]

have been hobbying for almost a yr, saw more than 20 SPs. my discovery journey kinda stopped after i found this sp that i really like (looks & feel). saw her more than 15 times. her service is not even that good, but i always wanted to see her. and i would end up booking multiple hours but end up just chatting to the girl for most of the session. she gave me her email and willin to meet outside the agency, but always reply my email several days later, which makes me feel like a fool. i felt like im attached to her.
just lookin for advices from other merbies on how to not get attached to a sp

thx

J

 

[snoodle]

bang another chick...best way to move on

 

[BookerL]

have been hobbying for almost a yr, saw more than 20 SPs. my discovery journey kinda stopped after i found this sp that i really like (looks & feel). saw her more than 15 times. her service is not even that good, but i always wanted to see her. and i would end up booking multiple hours but end up just chatting to the girl for most of the session. she gave me her email and willin to meet outside the agency, but always reply my email several days later, which makes me feel like a fool. i felt like im attached to her.
just lookin for advices from other merbies on how to not get attached to a sp

thx

J

Its very simple you see them only a few times to avoid emotion then you go see another one ,having emotion is human however with no reciprocity you get burnt ,
SP's have all sorts of propositions some more serious then others money $$$$$ wise .
They also receive many flattering compliments on how good they look being a SP is a unreal life ,they are serving fantasy to men and they are the fantasy
and get paid ,its difficult emotionally to manage for them too .


Good Luck



Cheers



Booker

 

[TheDon]

How not to get attached to an SP?

Don't book multiple hours with an SP to just chat.

Don't take evrything she says too seriously.

Don't go chasing and stocking her, make initial contact and if she doesn't reply then she's not interested.

Don't dream of how things would be like in the real world with her.

 

[blkone]

Do you dream of marrying an Xbox or a Mc'Muffin? (God, I hope you don't! ) Same with an SP you have to see her as an object and by that I don't mean to dehumanize or abuse her, but, to remember that you are having a business transaction, a fantasy.

If you guys talk once in a while, hey good, who doesn't like to receive mail? But, you always must remember that outside of her job, she has a life and that real life may not include you ... just like every other person you've done business with that day.

If she wants to talk to you she has your number/email, if not, don't get any hard feelings... we're all mature adults and we need to separate fantasy from reality. She has no obligation to you, remember that.

 

[Halloween Mike]

Hum this is is actually the sad reality of this business, despite all the fun of it.

What i mean is, its important to find SPs or even one if you want to, that you really click with and have a good time. Everybody is different, some like to have a rotation of 4-5 SPs they really like, others like to always change with the ocasional repeat, and some other may get attached to there ATF. But the things is TO ALWAYS remember its a fantasy for you, a job to her. I am not saying she can't get attached to you, even like you, hell i have seen some SPs become the girlfriends of former clients. BUT don't count on it. If she answer your mails 9 days later... :noidea: pretty much mean what it mean.

First of all, if she take 9 days to answer to a booking possibility, thats weird. Why give you her contact number for outside of the agency in the first place? If its just social chat, remember she ain't getting paid for that and most likely have only to gain to secure you as a client.

Now for chating meeting. On the SP point of view thats the great client, 2-3 hours for just having a conversation.. life is good. Of course some SPs have minimal skills in that departement and therefore they could not do that, but some speciliaze in that and therefore its the best time for them. As a client i would recommand not do that, even if you do enjoy this and you feel your money is well spent(or you have so many you don't give a shit) Because as weird as it may seem you are more likely to be attached from that than simply having sex, especially since you mention her service is simply "good" and not "wow".

I can tell you by personal experience sometimes a SP may be great, simply great to meet, she have conversation, she has a godess body, she is sooo good in bed, you have the time of your life when you meet her, you feel you get closer to her, she give you somethingt to contact her, but when you do for "socializing" she barely reply by a couple words, or she don't... thats life. That dosn't change the fact i still want to book her in the futur.. cause i know when she pass the door of my hotel room, ill have a good time, but yes im a client to her, obviously.

 

[wantbigbreasted]

Just stop meeting her. Find some another beautiful face SP for few days. There are so many beautiful girls out there. Move on. Don't waste your more time and money on that SP.

 

[hungry101]

1.) Treat them like good friends. Clients that you like to do business with going in.
2.) Have a no repeat policy.
3.) Write elaborate reviews which you enjoy writing as much as you enjoy the session. There is no sense reviewing someone twice so this will entice you to see new girls. It works for me. Rarely do I see the same SP twice. I can't wait to review a new girl.
4.) Put together an elaborate TDL. Make it a living document so that you are always updating and it based on reviews, PMs, agency photo shoots, GTs etc. Make your way through the list. This is your Appalachian trail to happiness. You do it because they are there! Make getting through your list your new obsession.

There must be 50 ways to leave your lover.....50 ways to leave your lover.

 

[snoodle]

I started dating an sp once. But i stopped for several reasons.
We still keep in touch. Sometimes i think about taking her back but then it passes.

 

[Lily from Montreal]

Stop seeing her...unless the sex part is good there is no point to see a sex provider...

But I would like to comment on the weird advice you got ''not to talk'',hum, unless you are meeting a pornstar with endless energy (!) it is not realistic to expect a girl to have non-stop sex for hours ...breaks are needed and unless you want to feel like you have an inflatable doll beside you, conversation is nice...

 

[anon_vlad]

Dopamine levels increase when one enjoys sex, predisposing one to fall in love.

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/health/article-2230969/Crazy-love-What-happens-brain-really-chemistry.html

Don't blame yourself for getting attached to someone who doesn't give a fuck about you, but follow the suggestions of the other posters for dealing with it.

 

[Lily from Montreal]

I am always surprised at how many of you guys lose track of the boundaries.

All studies shows that as a rule for women sex=love and men is suppose dissociate sex with love...guys?

I am not saying do not fall in love ,I am saying know the rules and play by it,it is not less genuine, it is within stated parameters ...love can have many configurations
And a absolute no-no... jealousy..it is not becoming and a sure way to end any relation...

 

[themonk83]

most studies may say that but i remember reading one that basically said that most guys fall in love easier and faster than women. it doesn't take much for a guy to have feelings for someone

 

[BookerL]

I am always surprised at how many of you guys lose track of the boundaries.
.

Hi LilyForYou
You are so right,
many guys take escort sites has dating sites ,they really do loose track of boundaries .
Since sex is really really intimate its confusing for many ,it is not called adult entertainment for nothing ,phantasm and realm,fantasy and day to day life are not the same .
SP's must show themselves on there best looks to be able to have repeat customers and great reviews its the way this business is ,most SP's are aware if they do not offer a service another one will ,so if she feels right sex chemistry she might offer it ,but its not love its the spur of the moment thing infatuation and/or lust .
The expectation should be great sex nothing else !


Great hobbying to all



Warmest Regards



Booker

 

[Merlot]

Gents,

bang another chick...best way to move on

If the reason airjoey is seeing the SP is beyond "banging", which seems to be a small factor, then how will banging someone else help?

They also receive many flattering compliments on how good they look being a SP is a unreal life ,they are serving fantasy to men and they are the fantasy
and get paid ,its difficult emotionally to manage for them too.

I've never been able to see how escorts can agree to have sex with random guys, some of whom must be quite objectionable. It could be they can turn something off to do this, maybe for some it's their turn on to be with these guys though the large element must be just simple business. Still, I think it must have a something to do with feeding off the adoration and feelings of desirability. Being fed a steady stream of admiration must be addictive for some ladies. Young ladies particularly seem to develop a strong need for some kind of admiration reinforcement that is a natural need and also enhanced by how society tends to communicate the importance of being attractive through imagery and many other ways. It then makes some sense flattery is an important incentive and for some escorts the stream of reliable flattery would be very important, aside from the money.

By posting about this problem maybe airjoey is experiencing the point where he's at the end of this situation just by being so frustrated. Some issues just have to wear themselves out emotionally so they can end.

How not to get attached to an SP?

Don't book multiple hours with an SP to just chat.

Don't take evrything she says too seriously.

Don't go chasing and stocking her, make initial contact and if she doesn't reply then she's not interested.

Don't dream of how things would be like in the real world with her.

I was helped to avoid getting too emotionally involved by coming into the hobby with what we may call either a firm sense of reality about it or/and a strong skepticism that any kind of love connection was possible. Distance and lack of opportunity were large factors also. Still, it can be tough.

TheDon is right in this case. Do what you have to to remember WHY you got the chance to see the lady at all. It is a business arrangement. Don't forget that.

What i mean is, its important to find SPs or even one if you want to, that you really click with and have a good time.

Ironically, the more you do all the work to find the escort that meets your greatest fantasy the more you can work yourself into a deep Catch-22 that traps you into greater possible emotional complications.

I can tell you by personal experience sometimes a SP may be great, simply great to meet, she have conversation, she has a godess body, she is sooo good in bed, you have the time of your life when you meet her, you feel you get closer to her, she give you somethingt to contact her, but when you do for "socializing" she barely reply by a couple words, or she don't... thats life. That dosn't change the fact i still want to book her in the futur.. cause i know when she pass the door of my hotel room, ill have a good time, but yes im a client to her, obviously.

When you are in the moment experiencing a physically and emotionally blissful connection the difficulty in separating fantasy from reality can be extreme depending on the person's susceptibility. In my case with an association with an escort for several years we did have a lot of communication outside of the meeting, especially in the beginning. But I was very lucky. It seems almost impossible now, but we never got carried away emotionally and never made any promises to each other that would have made the connection much more complicating. I did develop very fond feelings, but not in the way that made keeping the fantasy separate from the business reality more difficult. It wasn't easy though. Wishing it could be real remains no matter how you try to keep it real.

I would add to the Don's list: don't try to make a deeper emotional connection or make promises to each other that make keeping the boundaries of a client-escort relationship much more difficult. IF there is ever something really there the business element would naturally disappear. No person really in love requires money to be in love.

I am always surprised at how many of you guys lose track of the boundaries.

As I said above that Catch-22 is the best meetings are the ones that make the boundaries seem to disappear. How easy is it then to forget those boundaries, especially when there is too much accessibility and opportunity to relive the experience.

Good luck to all,

Merlot

 

[snoodle]

I am saying know the rules and play by it

Lol..sorry but i NEVER play by the rules..life is too short to have rules...if i fall in love with an sp and she falls in love with me then well get married...but it hasn't happened so far.

 

[snoodle]

Gents,



If the reason airjoey is seeing the SP is beyond "banging", which seems to be a small factor, then how will banging someone else help?

Merlot

well maybe he will fall in love with the next one and forget about the first one...and keep going through the process...eventually he will stop falling in love with them..

It's just a theory...i have no idea if it will work lol

 

[snoodle]

I do not believe in this idea that you should not fall in love with an SP.

Every situation is different....if it happens and its mutual..then great go for it...

I dont think its any different than meting a girl in another context...

I can't believe im hearing people talk about rules and boundaries... I thought this forum would be the last place on earth i would hear about how we should follow rules from society...

 

[BookerL]

Hi all

The boundaries are only there if you do not want to get burnt again and again.
If there is reciprocity on both sides emotionally and sexually the boundaries will change .
The client must always remember that SP is paid for intimacy it is her job to make you feel great if she succeeds she will have great reviews and more money
They do get lots of compliments on there looks and performance ,it puts them also in a unreal world .
Having been involve in this industry I saw many many guys and SP's both sides burnt because there wasn't true reciprocity .
The guys where looking for free sex not a relationship .
It is both ways not one sided ,but the SP cannot express themselves has customers can


Cheers



Booker

 

[daydreamer41]

Put everything into perspective. A SP is renting her sexual services out for an amount of time. Usually, she isn't deciding who she is renting herself to. It's anyone who calls her if she independent or calls her agency.

Since we are human beings, we all have a level of attraction to some people and not to others. It's part of our make up. So, realistically, you are going to meet from time to time, and the SP is going to meet, from time to time, someone we or they are attracted to. It's inevitable. However, if there is an attraction, it doesn't mean that there is good reason to act on it.

I have run into girls who have had definite boundaries set - never get involved with a client and a couple of girls who wanted to hook up with the first guy who they were attracted to. Most SP's fall into the never get involved category. I have run into the second category about 5 times. I only dated one of those girls because I knew she was passing through the escort world because she was disillusioned with the real world losing her job, etc., and she was getting tired of being a SP. We were about the same age. Needless to say she was disillusioned with life in general and our relationship was not helping her resolve her disillusionment. (She needed psychotherapy, not me).

I also found myself extremely attracted to a graduate student at an Ivy League school who was 10 years younger than me. At our second meeting, I asked her out. She told me if she met me somewhere else under a different circumstance she would date me. But she made herself a promise never to date someone she met while escorting. After that meeting I was unable to see her. Her agency always told me she was not available even though she was on the schedule. I think she told them she didn't want to see me.

But you have to ask yourself before falling in love with a SP, do you really think she can break herself away from escorting? Do you realize when she leaves, she is going to her next appointment? And what exactly is your attraction to her? Is it just sex appeal? That wears off eventually.