How to quit the Hobby/Addiction?

[2fast2slow]

Here is a post I always enjoy reading, I am about to post a comment from a fellow former hobbyist, he was considered a marginal poster, at the moment, I will give an anonymous credit

I am not the author of what's following, I can't take credits.

Here is his version of the addiction to the hobby:

The Five Phases of Hobbying
Here are the five phases of hobbying as I see them:

Phase #1: From Porn to Escorts sites

You are tired of watching porn all day. You wanna have sex with a hottie so you run a search on Google for "Montreal Escorts" and presto you find a website full of pics of beautiful ladies.

Phase #2: From Lurker to Dipper

You decide it is time to meet an escort because you can't take it any longer. This is a difficult decision because deep inside you know you shouldn't be cheating and you know you shouldn't be paying for sex.

Despite your ambivalence, you decide to take the plunge. Unfortunately, you go for the ladies that look good but do not have authentic pics.

After getting burned by a few bait & switch operations, you start reading the reviews to try and make sense of this jungle they call Hobbyland.

You start reading reviews, getting to know which players are worth reading and who is full of shit. You pay attention, take careful notes of who are the respectable agencies and which ladies are worth meeting.

You register your handle on both Montreal escort review boards and start actively writing reviews on SPs and MPs

Phase #3: The Manic Phase

This is the most dangerous phase. You become completely engrossed by this activity. It consumes every fiber of your living being.

You start writing glowing reviews on every single lady you meet. You experience a whirlwind of emotions and an adrenaline rush as you move from one masseuse to another escort, always trying to get another "fix" to surpass your last "fix".

You deny that you've become a full fledged addict but your actions, your finances and your thoughts all point to a different direction.

Phase #4: From the Brink of the Abyss to Sobering Reality

Right before you hit rock bottom, you pull yourself together. You stop hanging around with people who remind you of hobbying. You stop trying to help SPs, realizing that all they care about is $$$ and themselves.

As you learn more about Hobbyland, you become totally disgusted with all the lies and bullshit that permeate it.

You still hobby, but not as intensely, realizing that you will never find anything of value in Hobbyland.

Phase #5: You See the Light and Wither Away

Hate this

especially :

"You stop trying to help SPs, realizing that all they care about is $$$ and themselves."​

​

It is an unfair criticism of the SPs. Everybody is out to make a buck. But if SPs do it, they are bad? We should be so very thankful to the women that are willing to do this work. I have met a lot of really great women in this business.

And:

"As you learn more about Hobbyland, you become totally disgusted with all the lies and bullshit that permeate it."​

​

Of course this industry has a lot of dark sides, but there is a lot of good too. This post is to me a very negative viewpoint and is not reflective of most peoples experience imho.

 

[Lunaseraphim]

Hate this

especially :

"You stop trying to help SPs, realizing that all they care about is $$$ and themselves."​

​

It is an unfair criticism of the SPs. Everybody is out to make a buck. But if SPs do it, they are bad? We should be so very thankful to the women that are willing to do this work. I have met a lot of really great women in this business.

And:

"As you learn more about Hobbyland, you become totally disgusted with all the lies and bullshit that permeate it."​

​

Of course this industry has a lot of dark sides, but there is a lot of good too. This post is to me a very negative viewpoint and is not reflective of most peoples experience imho.

I hate it too.

It's really difficult communicating ideas on this forum because I never know how what I say will be received. I'm honestly just at home, sitting quietly and petting my cat, I'm not doing anything wrong. I've never used violence or bullied anyone. I'm tired of being the target of so many negative feelings, so much resentment and bitterness..

I understand what it's like to be lonely, so I understand that someone might be jaded if he feels ''tricked'' into believing providers he hired cared about him more than they actually do.. but honestly, this is my job. This isn't a hobby to me. Would you tell the person who's cutting your hair, your doctor, or someone you hired to paint your kitchen that they only care about money and themselves? The connection between a client and a provider does involve different types of intimacy, but that doesn't mean we are ''tricking you'' by asking to be compensated for the services we are offering. The fact that it's a job for me doesn't mean I don't care about my clients! I actually do care, I even often wonder about people I haven't seen in a while and hope they are doing well. I often have a really good time with my clients!

I'm sorry, but a client who is booking me is not ''helping me''. When you help someone, you don't ask for anything in return. Yes you are encouraging our business but don't act like this isn't pleasant for you, we are the one providing the service to you and catering to you. We are not running after men and casting spells on them so that they empty their pockets and go bankrupt lol. We are posting ads, promoting ourselves and offering services, that's all.

You say we only care about ourselves but most providers I know are generous with the money they make.. They take care of their children and pets, they send money to family members, they help their friends, they donate to causes, they help more vulnerable members of the community. Do you do that?

If the industry has dark sides, then help make it more positive by being respectful and kind, inform yourselves on how to treat us better and how to ensure that the providers you're seeing are not being exploited. Honestly I think there are many good reasons to book providers and that's why I feel like I make a positive difference in a lot of client's lives

But I also feel like there are bad reasons to see escorts. If you are addicted to it to the point where you dehumanize us and take out your aggressive feelings on us, or if you are so deluded that you think you can replace a romantic relationship with providers, you should probably quit. Seeing escorts is supposed to be a fun experience, it's not supposed to take over your life and cause you to become jaded and angry...

Obviously it will never be a perfect experience because we are human beings. We are not robots. If your expectations are unrealistic, we can't give you what you want. Just move on to something more fulfilling for you ...

 

[maymay]

The SP i used to see for a while now, is calling it quits. She had great price, great body and we had good chemistry togheter, i made love to her it felt good, after our session she would give me a good massage kissing cuddling and she always had a present for me, well bad for me chocolat, candy cheese.

Since i am a simple worker and make around 50k per year, bills to pay i kind of have no choice to slow down, i have not seen an SP in a while now even if i am still in contact with my SP that i used to see, we text each other a few times per week. She is pushing 40, her regular job is paying good money and she is tired of the buisness which is understandable.

I am not whining about cost and price, an SP as the right to ask whatever fee she wants, but i do not have 300$ to pay for 1h of sex. I look at 300$ and say how much grocery, electricity, internet, cell, can i pay with that, i can't say restaurant because i never really eat out or order.

 

[Fradi]

I hate it too.

It's really difficult communicating ideas on this forum because I never know how what I say will be received. I'm honestly just at home, sitting quietly and petting my cat, I'm not doing anything wrong. I've never used violence or bullied anyone. I'm tired of being the target of so many negative feelings, so much resentment and bitterness..

I understand what it's like to be lonely, so I understand that someone might be jaded if he feels ''tricked'' into believing providers he hired cared about him more than they actually do.. but honestly, this is my job. This isn't a hobby to me. Would you tell the person who's cutting your hair, your doctor, or someone you hired to paint your kitchen that they only care about money and themselves? The connection between a client and a provider does involve different types of intimacy, but that doesn't mean we are ''tricking you'' by asking to be compensated for the services we are offering. The fact that it's a job for me doesn't mean I don't care about my clients! I actually do care, I even often wonder about people I haven't seen in a while and hope they are doing well. I often have a really good time with my clients!

I'm sorry, but a client who is booking me is not ''helping me''. When you help someone, you don't ask for anything in return. Yes you are encouraging our business but don't act like this isn't pleasant for you, we are the one providing the service to you and catering to you. We are not running after men and casting spells on them so that they empty their pockets and go bankrupt lol. We are posting ads, promoting ourselves and offering services, that's all.

You say we only care about ourselves but most providers I know are generous with the money they make.. They take care of their children and pets, they send money to family members, they help their friends, they donate to causes, they help more vulnerable members of the community. Do you do that?

If the industry has dark sides, then help make it more positive by being respectful and kind, inform yourselves on how to treat us better and how to ensure that the providers you're seeing are not being exploited. Honestly I think there are many good reasons to book providers and that's why I feel like I make a positive difference in a lot of client's lives

But I also feel like there are bad reasons to see escorts. If you are addicted to it to the point where you dehumanize us and take out your aggressive feelings on us, or if you are so deluded that you think you can replace a romantic relationship with providers, you should probably quit. Seeing escorts is supposed to be a fun experience, it's not supposed to take over your life and cause you to become jaded and angry...

Obviously it will never be a perfect experience because we are human beings. We are not robots. If your expectations are unrealistic, we can't give you what you want. Just move on to something more fulfilling for you ...

I think that there are more of us than you think who are actually friends with the companions we have been seeing for many years and that we not only appreciate their “work” and efforts but genuinely care bout them. You can call it the kind of love that you have for a good friend. I consider myself lucky to have had the ladies I see in my life as they have made it much better and easier to bear with the loss of my wife . No it is not the same and it is not comparable, you cannot compare it with someone you shared your life with, your dreams with, someone you had children with and built a family with that is not something you can purchase for any amount.
There are many young ladies that are a pleasure to spend time with as they are not only gorgeous but kind, interesting and some have an amazing sense of humour as well.
Yes it may be a “job” and many people love their job but it is a very unique and different type of job that again is not really comparable with any other, you don’t have sex with your hairdresser or bank teller.
Respect and kindness need to go both ways and if you are lucky you can find both.
I am certainly grateful and appreciate the ladies I have been seeing for many years.

 

[Lunaseraphim]

I think that there are more of us than you think who are actually friends with the companions we have been seeing for many years and that we not only appreciate their “work” and efforts but genuinely care bout them. You can call it the kind of love that you have for a good friend. I consider myself lucky to have had the ladies I see in my life as they have made it much better and easier to bear with the loss of my wife . No it is not the same and it is not comparable, you cannot compare it with someone you shared your life with, your dreams with, someone you had children with and built a family with that is not something you can purchase for any amount.
There are many young ladies that are a pleasure to spend time with as they are not only gorgeous but kind, interesting and some have an amazing sense of humour as well.
Yes it may be a “job” and many people love their job but it is a very unique and different type of job that again is not really comparable with any other, you don’t have sex with your hairdresser or bank teller.
Respect and kindness need to go both ways and if you are lucky you can find both.
I am certainly grateful and appreciate the ladies I have been seeing for many years.

You're basically agreeing with me.
We're on the same page.

Coping with loss and looking for companionship is a very good reason to book. All I'm saying is it's not true we are cold hearted people out there to hypnotize men into giving us all their money. And yes the fact that it's work doesn't erase the intimacy and respect and kindness. I believe I'm kind to my clients, and it is a type of relationship.

 

[Fradi]

You're basically agreeing with me.
We're on the same page.

We are always on the same page and in agreement when we say that there are kind and respectful people on both sides. This has always been my point.
Just because it is a paid for arrangement doesn’t mean it can’t be pleasant and pleasurable and it is possible to form a a nice relationship even friendship with each other over time.
Human beings can be nice to each other no matter what their profession is, we all have friends, family that we love and care for it is simply treating people the way you would like to be treated by them. Not difficult to do at all lol.