In a serious relationship / good marriage and seeing SP's.

[Passionné]

Passionné,

So, imagine you meet a Sp, not during an encounter, but in your day to day life. It appears that after a time, when the things are getting a bit more serious between you and her, she decided to tell you that she is sp'ing (Whatever it is: escort, massage, dancing... -and she did not tell you before because, she was waiting to see if you weren't still another ordinary guy "de passage", someone there for just a couple of months) and you tell her that she has to stop for you to really believe that she is committed to you. Ok, fine, she does accept because she does love you. But after what will happen? Her income won't be the same, and I imagine you will have to help her, because you are committed and you will support her financial unbalance then, right?

I consider both sides, client and escort absolutely equal in this business, even if of course she has many more intimate physical interactions than I because that is the nature of what she does. We are both still equal. I really hate seeing people on this board refer to escorts as ..."prostitutes"..."fakes"...."money grubbers"..."whores"...all those things numerous clients have said as if they are any better. I saw some of that just a couple of days ago. Hypocrite! When I see that I think...hey asshole...you're doing exactly the same damn thing. Who the hell are you to judge when you are the foundation of what she is doing. Wake up and smell your own ass!!!

If I got involved not knowing and wanting to commit because I was in love then she has to stop. I could not love someone completely, though I may not be able to avoid some loving feelings as it happened once before, because someone who would stay in the business after is not committing herself to me as I would to her. For either side to say you have to be monogamous but if you love me you will let me continue with others is nonsense for me. That would tell me from my view either partner is not in love. It would be like a betrayal of the way I feel about what love is. In the escort's case it's also about safety in many ways. How could I be comfortable letting the person I love continue in something that can be especially unsafe or dangerous beyond normal jobs.

As for money, yeah it's the reality of survival. It cannot be ignored. But again if either person is doing something the other cannot live with you find alternative ways of making money. If I told you later after you were starting to fall in love I was also doing something illegal you could not live with but it provided a service in demand like selling (lightweight for lack of a better term) drugs would you be fine if I kept doing it because of the money despite your serious dislike with it?

If you are looking at the money issue from one side, as in it's okay to do something for you because it pays a lot and forget the situation could be the same with the other person against your strong feelings then you need to reconsider the situation and ask yourself if your own commitment is the same as what you are looking for from him.

To answer your question directly. There's always an alternative way to make money. If an escort says this is the way I know to make good money and won't change she is telling me she won't commit to love. Others may see it differently, but that's me. When I saw that escort years ago I never said anything deceptive to play with her feelings or string her along for selfish purposes or any purpose. I've found I can't do that to anyone. So now I tell you. In my view commitment is both ways. Both do or both don't. And I honor what I commit to, especially when it involves loving another person.

Cheers

 

[Maria Divina]

I just want to clarify something about me. I am equally romantic and a very devoted person when I am in love. I'm having too that kind of old fashion view on the subject.
But I'm presently escorting and that's totally giving a special twist when I have the rare chance to meet someone very interesting, and I am very picky in that department.

Keep in mind that I am escorting to reach a special goal, and yes, I reached several goals, and I am presently having a new one.

I always said, and this is still true, that if a day, I find a true reciprocal love on my path, I will stop then escorting. And I will have to abandon a goal/dream while doing it. Realize that I'm accomplishing myself while escorting.

What do you think of my idea then, to wait to see where it could go and to wait for the real commitment before leaving my escort life?

And of course, I won't ever never talk about this part of my secret garden, because of all the misconceptions, and more, because of all the bad images my eventual lover could have in his head towards myself. I imagine easily, whatever the "kinky past history" you are telling your lover that could affect the way he or she is seeing you after. And giving him maybe nightmares? I am sure we can traumatized someone declaring to have been in the sex industry, as a worker or a client, because of what "we" are reported to live or be.

I am much more that just "an escort" but when you are saying it, some people are just not able to see nothing else after. That's clearly a stigmate. I imagine it could easily be the same for a "client of escort" too. If you are saying it, maybe she could be just cool with it, or maybe she will just don't want to talk to you anymore. Will a woman accept easily that you have seen escorts/massage/dancers and been "serviced" even it is in the past? Not quiet sure.

It is commonly said "that's important to say ALL to your lover". I'm not quiet sure of that too.

OH! and by the way, even if I know the difference between seeing Sp's and having a sentimental affair, I would appreciate in my life to NOT know if I have been "cheating on" because I am the kind who wouldn't understand being myself very sexual and open to live fantaisies, I would have a big (and sorry to use a bad acronym) "wtf is he wanting elsewhere that I cannot or want to do myself?"

PS: I am not agreeing to compare Sping to selling drugs. This 2 activities are at millions of "années-lumières" from each others.
I exactly choose to escort because of the "no harm, no abuse, the honesty and the no under age possibly involved in my activities" and
even if now the laws have changed, I strongly sense that I never made something illegal and the people who met me neither.

You have an uncommon job and this is the sacrifice you make. Wealth in exchange for a difficult love (and social) life.......
.....I agree that it is sad how escorts are regarded in our society.

And that's totally true. Probably one of the reasons why this is an expensive experience to compensate our lost.

I hope I open a bit the horizons of people who will read what I wrote about my personal opinions about the subject. And I know that other escorts may don't share this kind of view, and that's fine.
We are all entitled to chose from our point of view how to deal with it.

And about meeting with men committed in relationships ; I am a natural empathic person, and I understand clearly the possible individual needs and I am fine with it.
All people involved are having good reasons, and who are we to judge at the end? The ultimate goal in life isn't to be happy and live happy events from time to time?
That's what we can get to be in a Sp's company, il me semble.

I know this is very hard to understand someone thinking differently and living differently then, but "the world is made of infinite possibilities, not only including a vast range of grey, but a vast range of colors too"
And each person believes to have "the truth" in a sense. So why not begin to think there are quiet a lots of truths out there? Ok, that was my 2 cents of philosophy of the day. ound: :tea:

PS2: Thank you for all your insights on the subject, that's very interesting to read indeed. xoxoxox

 

[Rusty Staub]

I think it depends.

If you are looking for GFE then I am not sure I understand the need to see SP's. If you want to kiss and make love to a woman then you (likely) have that at home.

If you are looking for PSE then the idea say of doing anal then COF with your long term partner / possible mother of your children might be tough (even if she might be into it) from a male fantasy perspective.

 

[Sol Tee Nutz]

I think it depends.

If you are looking for GFE then I am not sure I understand the need to see SP's. If you want to kiss and make love to a woman then you (likely) have that at home.

What they do not have at home is a girl half their age or more and looks wise out of their league plus BBBJCIMSW.
Speaking for myself, not at all insinuating that it applies to any gents here.
EDIT: Still waiting to see is someone whose wife does not know if it was OK is she was getting sex on the side without him knowing... Enquiring minds need to know.

 

[Passionné]

PS: I am not agreeing to compare Sping to selling drugs. This 2 activities are at millions of "années-lumières" from each others.
I exactly choose to escort because of the "no harm, no abuse, the honesty and the no under age possibly involved in my activities" and
even if now the laws have changed, I strongly sense that I never made something illegal and the people who met me neither.

Yes, drugs versus escorting is a poor comparison. I agree. But I'm sure you understood the sentiment. If the significant other in your life was doing something you could not live with wouldn't you want them to get out of it despite the money.

As for the view..."no harm, no abuse, the honesty and the no under age possibly involved in my activities"...it's your experience but far from the experience of many escorts. Harm - relative. Abuse - relative. Honesty..................................well I'm sure even you don't bring up your occupation as easily as you might talk about shopping or seeing a movie.

More importantly, I don't see how a guy who cares about an escort would want her to continue in something where harm and abuse could change at an instant, in one unfortunate situation or one client.

All the best wishes to you.