Living Single , How do you do it

[freedom3]

A lot of men rely on their wives to run their lives so you are probably not used to being responsible for this.

As a single man, it is your responsibility to make sure you are doing what makes you happy.

You can do whatever you want. You have complete freedom.

If you want to work 80 hours a day, go ahead. If you want to see escorts non-stop (like me), go ahead.

I do think it is important to build up a network of male friends.

I would recommend you try to go to different events (like meetup as someone suggested) and hopefully you can make some friends.

I think the suicide rate is highest for people who don't have social connections to the world around them.

 

[BaronVonKinkazoid]

No need to get into a relationship to have companionship. ... Just date and have fun!!!
To find women go on dating sites like Plenty of Fish (I've had a lot of success there) or something similar.

 

[HornyForEver]

Do you have interests outside of work? Find others with the same interest. Check out meetup.com. I'm a cyclist and used to ride alone. Through meetup.com I found a couple of cycling groups in Montreal and now I ride with them on a regular basis and have made a ton of friends in this fair city.

Thanks Rumple for the info about meetup.com, it looks that they have interesting groups out there.

One third of Canadians live by themselves and I belong to this third as well. This style of life has its benefits as it brings freedom, and I am not only talking about hobby-wise freedom only. I don't care a bit about being alone on weekdays as I am simply very busy to do so. On the other hand some weekends can be very long.

I will try the meetup site, and if does not work then I am signing up into Cloud500's hunting club

 

[Siocnarf]

I checked meetup also and I would like to add my own thanks. If I go to a meetup I will always wonder who are merbites (or escorts!)

 

[rumpleforeskiin]

I checked meetup also and I would like to add my own thanks. If I go to a meetup I will always wonder who are merbites (or escorts!)

Funny story. I was out with my cycling group a couple of years ago and there was this new guy on it that day, also divorced about my age. We got to talking and I just had this funny feeling about him...that he just might be one of us. So I turned our conversation, as soon as I was able to get a bit of separation from the rest of the group, to pay 4 play and he pretty quickly 'fessed up to his hobbying ways. I asked him how he went about it and he says to me, "There's this place..." Next thing you know, we're swapping merb handles.

 

[mtljay]

I checked meetup also and I would like to add my own thanks. If I go to a meetup I will always wonder who are merbites (or escorts!)

May be we need to start a meetup group of Merb members

 

[Turbodick]

Mtljay, you're smart to not want to get into another relationship - at least not now. That is a quick fix and leads to more pain when things fall apart because of bad/impulsive/desperate choices. Maybe something will come along, but don't be in a hurry. In the meantime develop a network of some quality. Maybe you want to play cards with old geezers, or volunteer at a soup kitchen. Just keep yourself out there and you'll make friends. Remember when you were a kid and made friends so easily? You are still able to do it.

 

[sadbuttrue]

This thread is getting a bit old and the subject has been nailed by the MERB members and funny stuff too. But what I would add is that it is normal to throw yourself into work, that is, if a person doesn't actively seek a relationship quickly, which I do not recommend either. For me, after a 19 year marriage went down in flames, I worked a lot. This paid benefits later: I would never have been ready to make the move to consulting without it which made a lot more money for less time. Maybe everything presents an opportunity!

What I realized after she left is that the only friends I had any more were ones that she said were OK. All of the friends I had had over the years of my own choosing were lo-o-ong gone. So 11 months after she left, I started making a number of friends, mostly through work. So, yes, get out and it almost does not matter what you do, just get out with some people. Oh, don't drink too much...

I will qualify what I said by telling you that I was left with the kids, so I have almost never been alone.

I am also mostly happy still being single and I guess I enjoy it more than the requirements of the alternative. My freedom is the most important thing. As Charlie Sheen said "... You pay them to go away". It really is true. Be careful though, you may be a relationship type guy and you may miss out on something as this is addictive.

Sad

 

[Numerati]

Baccarat, traveling particularly to Vegas, working out, books (I have been reading much more since purchasing the iPod Touch) and taking cooking classes just to name a few things. Especially researching baccarat strategies takes much concentration and alone time it is very important I don't have any distractions especially from a significant other. Most women would not like my choice of lifestyle since I find earning an income from being a corporate monkey or generating income from having clients/customers are a total waste of my time. Prestige, status, stability, and safety are valued and highly prized to women and society at large but to me it is absolutely bullshit. To be free and independent means much much more. I need to be mobile and flexible always on ready to be on the go in a quick moments notice. As older as I get I am even more hardened with a I do not need and depend on anyone kind of mentality. So yeah I am more than happy being alone. Maybe there are times I want female companionship so with an e-mail or phone call to an SP, temptation satisfied and I can move forward with my life.

 

[mtljay]

Since I started this thread about a month ago here are some updates.

1. Work is back to 9 to 5 (Well 8 to 7 but I am working on it)
2. I go out every night, not on dates but I try do some thing. Meetup.com is very use full so joined a lot of groups, started taking salsa lessons and joined a gym.

Past 10 years of my marriage life I was very demotivated, it was like why make money or work out when i am going to share with the person I hate the most. Amazing what a divorce can do for your health and wallet. Last time I was asking out women I was in University. I am determined not to get into another relationship but at the same time want to see if I still have the mojo. Went for few speed dating events and it has been a disaster.

Next 30 day goal, keeping my MERB budget at 1K/month.

MtlJay

 

[Sol Tee Nutz]

If you do not mind sending out e-mails there are dating sites. Most are pay but there is one called plenty of fish that is free and they have an intimate encounter section. I have had success on that site and all it cost me was sending a few e-mails and maybe lunch or a few drinks at a pub. Have not met miss right yet but there are some miss right now out there. There are 1000's of females in the Montreal area on that site.

 

[mtljay]

mtljay;
Thanks for the update. How was your experience with speed dating?

The girls think way too much of them self.

 

[pat98]

mtljay;
Exactly lol...
Did you try to tell them exactly that ?
Would be soooo interesting ! I mean not being rude just direct and factual

Am always impressed by seeing those really average girls thinking they are a "princess" ! ah ah ah ah ah
Oh and next thing at many speed dating events there is an age matching meaning that a guy over 50 is matched with girls over 50 !
heu... nah...its garbage lol... forget it ! plain and simple

 

[CLOUD 500]

mtljay;

Who can blame them? It is the men that chase them and give them so much attention that inflated their egos cuz men got no control of the little guy between their legs. They made a huge business out of mens lack of control of their little guys... take a look... tity bars, massage, and escorts.

On sites like plenty of fish it is almost useless since women tend to get ten emails a day... more often then not women might answer one out of three emails. When they get so much emails each one has much less value. Also I hate those dating sites... I do not got much belief in them since it is so impersonal... the only thing and first thing they see is your picture. There is not much to write in an email since you do not even know her... unless you are a creative writer.

I prefer the old fashioned way to pick up girls from regular clubs and lounges... I got very good success over there. Try it out... it is far more fun then boring dating sites. I have tried a speed dating site once and the women were not that attractive or to my taste. I like Black women so I go to clubs that play hip hop, dancehall, zouk, etc... these clubs have almost 95% Black women and are not dressed modestly. I cannot stand conservative women... big turn off! I want to see women wearing tight clothing and showing lots of skin.

 

[wasisname]

the problem with the world is that the interesting people are full of doubts while the stupid ones are full of confidence...

You mean like when someone confidently asserts that Shakespeare wrote the Diary of Anne Frank about the civil war in Germany in 1812?
On know a chick like that, not that example it is from Jon Lajoie's MC Historical Inaccuracy but similar. Will claim to know everything about X [exact words "everything] and then proceed to get every fact wrong. But she does it with great confidence.

I like the Dilbert take where his date claims she wants a guy who is confident in all situations. He asks her if she is looking for someone who is deluded or a poser. I know girls like confidence but I think I'd rather stick to my hand than be one of those D bags, I'd prefer a chick who is into realists with an ability to accept and the self awareness to know one's strengths and weaknesses.

 

[Numerati]

Ha ha ha. Speed Dating. I went to a couple of those. My intention was not to find someone really. A few I went on a dare. I can say that not many of the women I would find attractive. There were some but I didn't really care. I went there to make fun of these chics and these stupid events. The fun part is that you get the same questions over and over so you can really run and have fun with it. My favorite is "What do you do for a living?" Here are some I remember quite well.

Girl "What do you do?"
Me "I run over little children during after school hours for grocery money. Poutine doesn't grow on trees you know."

Girl "What do you do?"
Me "I defend people arrested for having sex with farm animals in public. Those guys sure know how to party."

Girl "What do you do?"
Me "I am a used condom salesman."

And I remember this nutty new age girl who had this strong belief about destiny and fate. Whatever.

Her "I definitely believe in the power of fate."
Me "Do you believe that fate brought us together at this very moment?"
Her "Why yes!"
Me "Then fate must really hate you."

When we came to the end, I realized that I didn't keep track of the girls’ numbers. Nice. There were actually two girls that I was interested in, but I had no idea which numbers they were, so I didn't know what to mark down on my sheet. A few days later I got an email from the organizers from some girls who somehow marked me down. I didn't emailed any of them, for three reasons: 1. I'm not exactly sure who is who, 2. I realized I am a natural born asshole and 3. After this I also realized that I enjoy the company of SPs more.