Ya! When you’re nagged and always asked to do stuff it becomes a turn off plus it’s when she is in the mood! It’s a curse guys so go and have fun plus it’s way more thrilling!
Married and in love but constant urge to see an SP
- Thread starter bignat
- Start date
I think you are lying to yourself. If you would be "deeply in love", you would not call her "a partner". You would say "my wife", "my spouse".
You probably still feel love for this woman or maybe you are just afraid to lose something. If I would be in your situation, I would ask myself why did I get into a marriage? To get sex?
I don't know your background but I would not be surprise that you evolve in a conservative family where sex and being married go together. Did you have sex with other women before getting married? Did you even get sex before the wedding?
I may be out of track but you are not telling every thing and you ask for advises. Be honest with yourself and ask the right questions and do your choice. good luck!
Funny thing I came from a very conservative Catholic upbringing, attended Catholic school, was raised to believe premarital and extramarital sex were sins (somewhat ironic because a few of the priests who were my teachers were later found guilty of fondling and sucking the penises of minors), and marriage and sex go together. I was also raised to believe in dating and marriage within one's own race. I think once we all reach adulthood and become independent, we have the ability to choose to accept or reject the upbringing we receive. I chose to reject it. Completely. Perhaps bignat did not, or could not reject it in full.
Personally I do not believe that we males are intrinsically monogamous creatures. I think we are instead intrinsically polygamous creatures. We observe other cultures in our world that use religion (or cults) and lies to justify polygamy. Others use religion to promote monogamy. I believe that we have to each use our own free will, free of the conditioning we receive and the psycho babble and bullshit often heaped upon us, to choose what we want to do and how we choose to live our lives. Big Nat is at a crossroads between several different forces exerting influence on his mind, and has to decide what path he wants to take.
Personally I do not believe that we males are intrinsically monogamous creatures. I think we are instead intrinsically polygamous creatures. We observe other cultures in our world that use religion (or cults) and lies to justify polygamy. Others use religion to promote monogamy. I believe that we have to each use our own free will, free of the conditioning we receive and the psycho babble and bullshit often heaped upon us, to choose what we want to do and how we choose to live our lives. Big Nat is at a crossroads between several different forces exerting influence on his mind, and has to decide what path he wants to take.
After 20 posts, @bignat never commented a single time. We are probably losing our time trying to figure out his real situation.
Whether he does not read his own thread, or he was caught and is into troubles. Maybe he was simply a troll and all this is about a non-situation.
Anyway! There is lot to take home in those 20 posts.
Whether he does not read his own thread, or he was caught and is into troubles. Maybe he was simply a troll and all this is about a non-situation.
Anyway! There is lot to take home in those 20 posts.
Even though the OP is not responding, I find this helpful in know there are many like minded people out there. I too would fault religion for much of the internal conflicts with your biological urges. I find being atheist helps to resolve these issues.
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Different perspective here. Deeply religious, mid-40s, never married guy here who has given up on finding a good woman.
My advice is don't go down this route. It will ultimately end in heartache and pain. Sounds like you got something special. Protect it and be thankful. Whether we admit it or not, most of us in on this board don't want to be here but due to our own weakness or life's vagaries this is where we are. You've got a choice.
My advice is don't go down this route. It will ultimately end in heartache and pain. Sounds like you got something special. Protect it and be thankful. Whether we admit it or not, most of us in on this board don't want to be here but due to our own weakness or life's vagaries this is where we are. You've got a choice.
Really? Most of us? Very judgemental... If you are deeply religious as you pretend, shouldn't you apply what Matthew 7.1-6 said: "“Do not judge, or you too will be judged. 2 For in the same way you judge others, you will be judged, and with the measure you use, it will be measured to you.
Bible Gateway passage: Matthew 7 - New International Version
Judging Others - “Do not judge, or you too will be judged. For in the same way you judge others, you will be judged, and with the measure you use, it will be measured to you. “Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother’s eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye? How can...
most women would consider it cheating, most men not so much. It definitely is not cheating on the same level as having an affair at work for example
I agree.
I've been in the hobby on and off. When I am in long term relationships with someone I actually want to be with, I have zero urge to see an SP. (true for both when I was married, and when I was even in short relationships)
Now, I can't really judge since I don't have any background information. Maybe if guys are married for 20+ years and aren't getting sex anymore, I can see maybe why someone would want to see SPs... but I haven't been there.
It’s a completely different excitement with someone fresh and new with someone you don’t know so, you are not going to get that with someone your married to for 20 years guaranteed!
I would be honored to visit your significant other and yourself 
You could be surprise of the benefits of this kind of adventure!
You could be surprise of the benefits of this kind of adventure!I think most likely it will be the man calling discreetly for himself! Lol.I would be honored to visit your significant other and yourself
Thank you for all your comments. I will simply add that I am deeply in love, despite what some of you can think. But that does not prevent me from having the urges to have fun with a provider. Monogamy is very difficult and it is hard for me to reject all of it at once because of many factors, including family.
You are going to keep having the urges. What you do about it is up to you. I am glad I am not in your shoes, but I made the decision not to get married so I wouldn't have to be in your shoes. Don't get me wrong- I don't believe that marriage is without advantages. In my mind the most significant one is to have someone to grow old with once you in fact are old. I am getting into that area of life where having a companion for other than sexual reasons would be helpful.
You can’t. Been there, done that. So, when you go don’t forget to get you a burner phone. Cause you need to delete all messages , all pics all texts. Or one day you’ll forget and you’ll be caught as it happen to me. I manage to fix it but I still feel the urge. And I can’t help it
If you cross that line make sure you get a pren-up LOL
Girl find out about everything, if they are suspiscious about you cheating, they became better than most FBI agent .
If you text an SP, she can see it on your phonebill, email leave tracks also... I got an friend who bought a second phone to text SP, you can tell her it's for work but one time you are going to leave it unlock it and then she gonna found out.
So the best options is to go see discreet MP parlors, like Ypg, take a shower to remove the smell and hair of the SP after the session.
But then again there is some risk, like you can catch a STI , smell on you can stay or the fresh shower smell can be suspect for her.
There will be always be some risk to it if you cross the line but you can definetely mimize it by acting smart.
Funny how you say your in love as maybe the wife is not so that would explain the urges !
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