Married and in love but constant urge to see an SP
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I have a cousin who has been with the same spoiled woman for 40 years as he looks so miserable and drained and he even got her a matching Mercedes with his! She already owns what ever he has so if you ask me he has every right to cheat if he’s unhappy and she only cares about pleasing herself and taking advantage. I know her and she is just a user and very selfish And her stupid daughters are following her footsteps already!
The term “judgmental” commonly refers to a hyper-critical attitude. But the term tends to blur the distinction between a rash judgment and the abuse of correct judgments. Worse, many people intentionally use the expression to silence those who oppose sinful behavior. It works as evidenced by those engaging in sinful lifestyles shaming and others labeling them “judgmental.” Not calling anyone out just noting most men would trade emotionless sex for a loving wife and family.Really? Most of us? Very judgemental... If you are deeply religious as you pretend, shouldn't you apply what Matthew 7.1-6 said: "“Do not judge, or you too will be judged. 2 For in the same way you judge others, you will be judged, and with the measure you use, it will be measured to you.
Bible Gateway passage: Matthew 7 - New International Version
Judging Others - “Do not judge, or you too will be judged. For in the same way you judge others, you will be judged, and with the measure you use, it will be measured to you. “Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother’s eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye? How can...www.biblegateway.com
The best is to have a conversation about your needs and maybe make it like a team can be a lot of fun... when I was young I was more close mind.. maybe she is shy aswell to tell you she want new experiences
That conversation could be very difficult to undo and forget if it isn't received very well.
It's definitely a roll of the dice, but BigNat may feel lucky. There is a parallel discussion of this topic in another thread this morning, and at least one other guy seems to have gotten lucky.
I have an older brother who has been happily married for 30 years. His happy marriage never precluded him from playing on the side at some point. The friend of mine that I mentioned in another thread that got busted when his mistress messaged his wife also loves his wife intensely. So inasmuch as there are some here not enamored with their spouse or married sex life, there are also men that truly love their wives but want the variety of sleeping with other women.
In a committed relationship, it's very hard to keep that charged excitement of sleeping with someone for the first time. Sex and love are two separate entities, even though we like to conflate the two. An SP is ideal for sex because it's not a messy relationship. It's the opposite of my buddy that got caught because he was also emotionally involved with his mistress.
As already discussed and said well by EB, I don't think human beings are naturally monogamous creatures. In sexually reproducing animals, monogamy is the stark exception. But I'm also aware that unlike animals, we're moral beings.
Big Nat, good luck with your decision. Two things that are important:
(a) if you do see an SP while being married, don't pass on a STI;
(b) do NOT in any way suggest opening your relationship. It's too fraught a move. She may perceive your request to open up or do it as "a team" to mean she's not adequate enough for you. And if she says no, she's now on alert that you might stray. And if she says yes, it's going to be a case of unintended consequences because a woman can get sex readily more than a man can. The only way suggesting an open relationship is worth the risk is if she's already made it known she's attracted to women or hinted around seeing other people.
In a committed relationship, it's very hard to keep that charged excitement of sleeping with someone for the first time. Sex and love are two separate entities, even though we like to conflate the two. An SP is ideal for sex because it's not a messy relationship. It's the opposite of my buddy that got caught because he was also emotionally involved with his mistress.
As already discussed and said well by EB, I don't think human beings are naturally monogamous creatures. In sexually reproducing animals, monogamy is the stark exception. But I'm also aware that unlike animals, we're moral beings.
Big Nat, good luck with your decision. Two things that are important:
(a) if you do see an SP while being married, don't pass on a STI;
(b) do NOT in any way suggest opening your relationship. It's too fraught a move. She may perceive your request to open up or do it as "a team" to mean she's not adequate enough for you. And if she says no, she's now on alert that you might stray. And if she says yes, it's going to be a case of unintended consequences because a woman can get sex readily more than a man can. The only way suggesting an open relationship is worth the risk is if she's already made it known she's attracted to women or hinted around seeing other people.
I completely agree with Carmine on both fronts.
Sex and love are two very distinct things. You may love your wife very much and still feel the urge to have sex with other women. Those urges are natural, common to most people and will never go away. Never. Ever.
What’s more, fulfilling your urges with SPs is definitely the safest way to live out your fantasies. No strings attached. No feelings. Just awesome wholesome sex.
Oh! And that « open discussion » with your wife? That plan has a ridiculously high chance of backfiring spectacularly by opening a can of worms neither of you are likely prepared to deal with.
SPs, my friend. The answer is SPs.
Cheers!
Sex and love are two very distinct things. You may love your wife very much and still feel the urge to have sex with other women. Those urges are natural, common to most people and will never go away. Never. Ever.
What’s more, fulfilling your urges with SPs is definitely the safest way to live out your fantasies. No strings attached. No feelings. Just awesome wholesome sex.
Oh! And that « open discussion » with your wife? That plan has a ridiculously high chance of backfiring spectacularly by opening a can of worms neither of you are likely prepared to deal with.
SPs, my friend. The answer is SPs.
Cheers!
"Judgmental" means having a tendency to judge or criticize someone or something in a harsh or unfair manner. It can refer to a person who is quick to form opinions and make negative assessments about others without taking the time to understand their perspective or situation. Being judgmental can be a hindrance to empathy and understanding, as it can create barriers to effective communication and relationships.
Amen!
I too am married, but my wife is getting fatter and we are in a dead bedroom situation. I have been seeing SPs whenever I visit Montreal for work. I don't know how not to pass STIs that's my only worry. But my urges are getting really bad now since I don't get to visit Montreal as much as I would like.
That is the thing about marriage and any long-term relationship. Both parties can't get comfortable and just let things slide where there is stagnation in every corner of the relationship. One of the most important factor in maintaining that spark is not getting fat. From there both parties have to continue to work on being their best selves physically, emotionally and mentally as of when they were single. There is no on and off switch like this hobby.
Thanks for the input, appreciate it. Yeah both parties should not be complacent and not get fat. Many relationships turn sour when one party works out and keeps fit but the other party gets fat and resentment starts.
Yeah that is also the worst but when that happens one party who is fit have given up on the relationship long time ago and it is on countdown to the end.
Life is all about decisions. Some good some bad and some gambles
From an evolutionary standpoint, men are programmed to spread their genes as much as possible. But the scientific term for a human is homosapien, “the wise man”, should we be above our primitive instincts? However, this debate will never result in any major conclusion. This is the oldest career of humanity and will never go away.
To the OP, my advice is gamble or keep lying. In my culture, cheating is not cheating until the other party found out.
I wish you best of luck, there’s no right ”ways” until you found out
I see many married women and what they look like after the years gone by and feel bad for the husbands! If SPS give you a thrill that’s missing in your life you have to go with what you feel Cannot escape that!
Many of my college buddies, they dated and married 8s and 9s in their late 20s/early 30s. A few years down the road a couple of kids, a mortgage and a career or two thrown in, such a sad sight to see a couple of notches down in the looks department. Added that a few had some demanding bossy attitude thrown in another few notches taken away. What you have left is a forever life prison a poor bro of a husband can't escape from and if it does happen it is a soul crushing bank account draining pursuit where the daughters may end up with daddy issues and working the pole down the road to get back at daddy. The guy don't fare any better either. Dad bod beer gut and a soul less look with huge monthly bills to boot.
F this. For those married you don't lose yourself and let things go. For one you and the wife need to hit the gym and workout. No ifs or buts. You have to maintain and keep that edge and hold it as long as possible and age gracefully. With that you both have that chance to maintain that attraction to each other. Hate boob jobs on SPs but if the wife is still hot after five years of marriage and wants to get a boob job I am all for it. Ha ha.
Such a harsh sexest comment. "feel bad for the husbands", seriously?
So it's always the women who let themselves go!
Het bro, look around and check out all the lovely beer guts. Not to mention comming in drunk and wanting to fuck the "lucky lady" without any regard to his stinky, cheesy dick and puke smelling groin juice.
Ok, I feel bad for SOME husbands and I also feel bad for many wives.
From the friends that I know and their friends it’s not only about the wives who changed but these men don’t get the sex and BJs that they got early on so for they have every right to see an sp if they choose Bro! The wife does not make her man happy anymore plus using him for a free life and He is stuck cause they have kids and money issues so a divorce is out of the question so he’s stuck so I say go and have some fun.
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