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Married guys - what excuse do you use for leaving the house

Eric23

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For those of you who are married or living with your girlfriend, what excuse do you use for leaving the house to see an SP? We both work from home during the week and we're obviously both in on the weekends. You'd need an excuse to be away for an hour and a half or so. I used to go to they gym, so it was easy, but I'm taking a break from the gym for about year. So what excuse do you guys use for being away from home when you have want to see an SP?
 

Artvandelay_importer

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For those of you who are married or living with your girlfriend, what excuse do you use for leaving the house to see an SP? We both work from home during the week and we're obviously both in on the weekends. You'd need an excuse to be away for an hour and a half or so. I used to go to they gym, so it was easy, but I'm taking a break from the gym for about year. So what excuse do you guys use for being away from home when you have want to see an SP?
Haha, I am not sure if this might be a good idea, but others can comment on it. I never had to see an SP when my wife is living with me. It was always when she visits her family. But soon I plan to see when she is with me. I plan on saying I have to go the office for team building/meetings etc. And then take a break for an hour. Timings are flexible at my work as long we get the job done.
 

cricklewood

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Jun 21, 2003
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For those of you who are married or living with your girlfriend, what excuse do you use for leaving the house to see an SP? We both work from home during the week and we're obviously both in on the weekends. You'd need an excuse to be away for an hour and a half or so. I used to go to they gym, so it was easy, but I'm taking a break from the gym for about year. So what excuse do you guys use for being away from home when you have want to see an SP?

Look into a new hobby that would require to go out of the house, either to go shop for things or for it to be practiced, that said you want to be careful coming back smelling of fresh shower or shower products that aren't yours...gym is a hard cover to beat, maybe you could start doing swimming, yoga or something else less impact that could also allow you to cover shower. Say you're going to go play pool with some friends that will easily cover a 2 hour absence, you will want to learn of a couple bars in your area that have pool tables or tournaments or whatever, hell maybe even go buy a beer in them every so often so your CC bill or account has charges from the place unless your a cash only guy.
 

EagerBeaver

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I actually became the excuse of a married friend of mine I took to Montreal on a "guys only" trip that consisted of 3 married friends and me. The excuse, which was given without my knowledge, consent or authorization to his wife (whom I know personally and could have been questioned by) was this:

"[EB-insert my real name] bought a rental condo in Montreal to stay at during visits when not rented. Before he rents it we are going up to Christen the condo and have a celebration."

In reality, we were staying at the Omni Hotel. In reality, I don't own a condo or anything else in Montreal. The excuse was busted when we were on Crescent Street one night walking back to the hotel and his wife called him on his burner phone. For reasons I can't explain he answered the call. I then overheard their conversation:

Him: "Hey honey how are you?"
Wife: Good. What are you doing?
Him: "[EB -insert real name] and I are walking back to the hotel."
Wife: "What? I thought you were staying at EB's condo?"
Him: "Uh.....uh....uh...... we are stopping off at a hotel where [insert name of friend] is staying."
Wife: "He isn't staying with you?"
Him: "Nah, he didn't want to sleep on EB's sofa bed."

After he hung up we had a long argument. I was screaming at him for involving me in his lies and also potentially exposing me to being asked about the lies by his wife questioning me about them, without ANY advance warning to me. I said to him, "did it fucking occur to you that your wife might ask me about this nonexistent condo which I know nothing about and actually don't own??????" He basically took the tongue lashing and said "I had to tell her something".

Wise the fuck up with your excuses and don't involve your friends!!!!
 
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EagerBeaver

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How old were your married friends when this happened?
2 in their 40s and one in his 30s. The guy who used me as the excuse with his wife was at that time 43 or 44 I think. The oldest of that group. Married for 20 years.

I should add that he is a very close friend and very very loyal. This was the only time in our 20 year relationship that I sensed anything close to a betrayal and the only time I ever cussed him out. I was absolutely batshit angry and had to control my anger very hard as I have an explosive temper and can be prone to saying ugly and regrettable things. I was able to refrain from doing so (fortunately) but he heard many F bombs coming out of my mouth at that time.
 
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Artvandelay_importer

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be careful coming back smelling of fresh shower or shower products that aren't yours...gym is a hard cover to beat, maybe you could start doing swimming, yoga or something else less impact that could also allow you to cover shower.
Missed this important point of smelling of fresh shower. So saying I am going to the office for meetings/team building wouldn't really cut it if you can back smelling of shower products lol.
 
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Numerati

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2 in their 40s and one in his 30s. The guy who used me as the excuse with his wife was at that time 43 or 44 I think. The oldest of that group. Married for 20 years.

I should add that he is a very close friend and very very loyal. This was the only time in our 20 year relationship that I sensed anything close to a betrayal and the only time I ever cussed him out. I was absolutely batshit angry and had to control my anger very hard as I have an explosive temper and can be prone to saying ugly and regrettable things. I was able to refrain from doing so (fortunately) but he heard many F bombs coming out of my mouth at that time.
Your buddy had to think on his feet as he was experiencing a curve ball all over. Just bad that you were thrown under the bus for this. Well hopefully nothing serious came out of it afterwards when the trip was over. That was why when I was single and had married friends I don't include them in my bachelorhood activities. Does not have to involve women. Heading to the casino for instance I am wary of bringing them along.

Just funny though the majority of my friends who were married in their 20s acted like this. It is those who married in their mid or late 30s and beyond and it is their first marriage don't beheave in this manner. They stressed that "I have seen and done it all and needed to there is no point. I am going in with no rocks left unturned and I am fulfilled." Now I understand what they mean.
 
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EagerBeaver

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Your buddy had to think on his feet as he was experiencing a curve ball all over. Just bad that you were thrown under the bus for this. Well hopefully nothing serious came out of it afterwards when the trip was over. That was why when I was single and had married friends I don't include them in my bachelorhood activities. Does not have to involve women. Heading to the casino for instance I am wary of bringing them along.
I do give him kudos for thinking on his feet after initially fucking up and not thinking about what he was saying. He was caught in a tough situation because he had lied to his wife and lied to me, but when he decided to answer the phone with me standing next to him listening to his conversation, he basically set himself up to have one or the other of us figure out we had been lied to. I was the only one who did. When we got back from the trip, I did see his wife, but she did not ask me about my fictional condo in Montreal. I later told him to tell her I sold the condo, so that I would never have to deal with her questions on that subject in the future. I do not know if he did, but she never brought it up with me, so maybe he did. About 7 years have passed since this story happened. I am pretty sure it was in 2015.

I had a serious discussion with him about what transpired later that evening and it was reinforced several time afterwards. I told him there would be no more Montreal trips if I ever learned that he had involved me in lies/excuses to his wife for taking the trip. He apologized for doing so. I also made him promise never to do it again, and he did. After that trip we took several other trips, the last of which was in late 2017. He has been bugging me to do a trip with the same guys for the past 6 months, but I have said no, mainly for other reasons. One is that my passport expired and I had to pay to renew it and the new passport will not likely arrive until late December. Another reason is I have been regularly meeting up with a lady I met on Seeking Arrangement ever since the collapse of a relationship at the end of 2020, so there is no need for me to do escort trips right now. I do think I will be back in Montreal in 2023, and if I am, it will most likely be with him and/or 1 or 2 of the other guys.
 

cricklewood

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Missed this important point of smelling of fresh shower. So saying I am going to the office for meetings/team building wouldn't really cut it if you can back smelling of shower products lol.
I haven't had to do any of this kind of subterfuge in a long time but you have to think of strategies, bring your own toiletries, that's why having a gym bag in the trunk with spare underwear/t-shirt & your own toiletries is good, that way you don't come home smelling of the wrong products and you smelling fresh makes sense and if you need to cover up any activity stained clothes or ones that smell like an SP's perfume it helps. lint roller for stray hairs on jackets and things. Wear cologne, nothing crazy and get one of those refillable travel spritzers and keep your cologne on hand, it's another way to mask odors. Sounds over the top but honestly, if you're going to play this game and you've got a lot on the line, you must build a routine to follow, no improv.
 

Artvandelay_importer

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I haven't had to do any of this kind of subterfuge in a long time but you have to think of strategies, bring your own toiletries, that's why having a gym bag in the trunk with spare underwear/t-shirt & your own toiletries is good, that way you don't come home smelling of the wrong products and you smelling fresh makes sense and if you need to cover up any activity stained clothes or ones that smell like an SP's perfume it helps. lint roller for stray hairs on jackets and things. Wear cologne, nothing crazy and get one of those refillable travel spritzers and keep your cologne on hand, it's another way to mask odors. Sounds over the top but honestly, if you're going to play this game and you've got a lot on the line, you must build a routine to follow, no improv.
Very good suggestions. Thank you!
 

Sexicanboy

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"shopping" is a good excuse when just looking for a 30min near vicinity of my neighborhood. I have a flex work schedule so I try to sync an afternoon rdv while the wife is at work . gotta be finished before she clocks out. I always get a call after her shift. I used to go out evenings when "need to work oncall" . Was fun when I was younger but now past that stage. and getting self conscious now. My regulars are non smokers and no perfume so that works out pretty good. I do try TOFT and sometimes end up with smokey clothes. Damn I hate that.
 
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Uandi

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... work is your issue!!! Working at the office and flexible schedules makes it easy... leave early... going shopping on the lunch break... coming in late...

All easy when you don't work from home!!!
Now for odors, if you smell strong perfume coming in the location, leave your clothes away from it and it should be fine. My excuse... trucks delivering our merchandise had a load of chemical/ perfume ... and I go change clothes when I get home...

Stay safe guys!!!
 
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Anong

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if you smell strong perfume coming in the location, leave your clothes away from it
You mean leave cloths outside the building. I did once for the same reason and the result was not pretty. and had to run fast covering my front and back with hands.
 

Carmine Falcone

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Whatever your excuse is, everything is hugely dependent on exploiting trust. That sounds bad (because it is), but it's also the brutal truth.

Like once upon a time, yours truly was supposed to be hanging out with my best friend and then ended up spending the night at his place because of a migraine. The reality was that, uh, I was catching up sans vetements with an old and very close female friend (that I should have married). But trust was there in that relationship so I got away with being a scoundrel.

But once the trust is gone (assuming you play the field with a civilian or service provider, get busted but she stays with you), you're on a short leash for what seems like forever.

A good friend of mine had a 7-year long affair. He met the side lady not much longer after getting married. He left the house for years under several ruses and even went out of town with no issues from his wife.

Then one day, his crazy side woman befriended his wife on Instagram and sent the wife pictures of both of them hanging out in San Francisco. Somehow, he went to counseling with his wife and they worked it out and didn't get divorced. But he can't do anything now. He can't visit his mom in San Francisco or hang out without suspicion raining on him. To further complicate matters, crazy side woman is still texting him naked pictures of herself! Fortunately, the odds of an SP ratting you like this woman did are low, but the moral of the story remains the same: don't get busted (or possibly don't be a scoundrel but life is too short to be a choirboy).
 
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