Most common age to start thinking about kids
- Thread starter a.drive
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It's not something you have control over, if you meet an interesting stable girl to have kids with go for it, if you don't, don't stress about it, maybe you weren't meant to have kids.
I always wanted kid. Always since I am about 12 year old.
But I ended up having kids after a 6 month relationship in my mid thirties. I just knew she was the one. I remember saying exactly: Listen I want kids and and want to have them with you!
If the girl is still with you the next day after you say that, she is the one
Now in my mid forties I would say life for me is so wonderful and easy. I feel that whatever happen, I have 2 beautiful boys that will always think about me.
Cheers,
But I ended up having kids after a 6 month relationship in my mid thirties. I just knew she was the one. I remember saying exactly: Listen I want kids and and want to have them with you!
If the girl is still with you the next day after you say that, she is the one
Now in my mid forties I would say life for me is so wonderful and easy. I feel that whatever happen, I have 2 beautiful boys that will always think about me.
Cheers,
I had my first kid at 27.....and was really ready for......and it was best moment and beautiful event. Had another one 9 years later...was not ready for...took me by surprise....was never around, always travelling the world.....thanks to my second wife who was the perfect mom. Now am a proud father ....j'ai rattrapé le temps perdu....they r not only my children BUT also my best friends.....we always have fun together.
Kids are great when they are babies until around 7/8. Once they hit double digits to around 23, you wish you can stuff them back in.
There is no age. When you found THAT girl and she knows you are THAT guy and you are ready to have a family then you will know. Don't let age and time dictate when you are ready.
There is no age. When you found THAT girl and she knows you are THAT guy and you are ready to have a family then you will know. Don't let age and time dictate when you are ready.
Even though I have a wonderful daughter, I have to agree with this. I brought a child into a world in this horrible state and part me of regrets that. It's existencial musing on my part and it's not that hard to do when you read things like a 14 year-old girl was raped twice by separate people in one night-- not in some putative lawless part of the world but in England.
Not when you get the $200,000 plus bill for college tuition..........then you will be asking WTF did I sign up for??????? Right now, one of my friend's marriages is coming to an end due to incessant fights with his wife over who will pay the cost of college and grad school: kid via loans, or parents. One thing is for sure, the bill will be there at the end, and it will be huge.
People generally make decisions to have children for reasons that are emotional and selfish and not for reasons that are based on financial common sense, the actual anticipated welfare of the child, or any other logic-based reasoning and thought process.
The question asked by the thread starter about having children as one gets older is a legitimate one. I have seen some guys my own age have children and it's a joke. They can't play catch with their son because of an arthritic shoulder. So the kid is denied a chance to catch a baseball with his father, something every kid should be able to do, because his Dad's body is breaking down. Is that the upbringing any kid deserves?
There are some exceptions. One of my cousins had his only child at age 34, this the result of banging some girl he dated for only a few months and never married. I am pretty certain that he had no real interest in her other than to serve as Mama of his baby. He definitely wanted a kid more than he wanted a wife. He is now in his late 40s, still single and he is doing a very good job as a single father of that kid. He has joint custody with the mother, but it seems like the kid, who is also my cousin, spends more time with father than mother. He is a good kid.
EB your reasoning if wrong because the USA is a fucked up country. A great country has free to very low fee education, free healthcare and paid marital leaves for both women and men. Ho and ya, low fee daycare.
Canada, any european country, many asians, australia and new zealand to name some all have these benefits witch do no put such a burden on life (and creates economic classes within the society like in the USA).
Having kids is not, and should not, be a money issue. If this is the main reason not to have any, it means one is too selfish and then should not have some.
Cheers,
Canada, any european country, many asians, australia and new zealand to name some all have these benefits witch do no put such a burden on life (and creates economic classes within the society like in the USA).
Having kids is not, and should not, be a money issue. If this is the main reason not to have any, it means one is too selfish and then should not have some.
Cheers,
Well put. The money EB put out for escorts during his lifetime could have probably supported a child. Kids are a better memory than sex with an escort.
People have the right to not want kids, really no need to say things like that or even try to tell them they will regret it lol. Not everyone wants kids in life.
Agree 100%. But further to some of the other posts I see people having 3-5 kids, and they complain about not being able to support them, not able to take vacations, pay for their medical bills, etc. etc. as if all of these things are new and unforeseeen developments. The fact is that they never thought about it even though any intelligent and logical person should do so. They didn't think about it because their reasons for having children were either emotional, peer or family pressure or self-gratification, all of which are very bad ways to enter any decision making process.
In the case of my friend who is now about to pursue a very expensive divorce, one would think he and his wife, both of whom are college educated, would have considered that their kid may go to graduate school and the cost of same. One would think they would have discussed it when they decided to marry. Instead, 20 years into their now loveless marriage they are having fights about whether the kid should be compelled to take out loans for grad school. Sorry but I have no sympathy for such nonsense. All of this was foreseeable. I hear these stupidities and nonsense all the time. All the divorce cases handled by my colleague have some component of this nonsense and usually the kids are a big factor in the divorce. Can't agree on health, education or cost of living for kid, or child rearing issues. Actually handled a mortgage foreclosure defense where the parents flew their young prodigy child around the country to athletic competitions rather than pay their mortgage.
Adoption is advantageous only because you can adopt a kid who is like 5 and fast forward through the young child raising process. I have a friend who adopted for this exact reason. It's at least involving a modicum of logic and reason although things did not turn out so well with his adopted kids.
I'm not 100% sure I want kids some day but if I do I definitely want to adopt them
Îm on the fence with adoption, i have personally yet to see a long term favorable outcome with adopted kids. I can understand the humanitarian aspect and when you can't have any well sometimes that's the only option. Otherwise I would say no. Anyways, at your age I also said no way to kids, but that changes thank god! Best thing that ever happened to me and will always cherish my kids.
Couldn't agree more. My mom keeps telling me how badly she wants to be a grandma one day... Yet that is in no way making me want kids more. This is a choice that should be made when the conditions are favorable... I don't even want a kid until I live in a house and I have my own business lol tells a lot... I'm still a teen anyways I have plenty of time ahead and I'd rather enjoy my youth rather than enjoy it through a mini-me !
Well, I mean, I don't want to create a human on a shitty earth. I'd rather open my heart to a human that was abandonned. It's a personal choice. But a huge part of it is also because I have a really weird relationship with pregnancy/giving birth. It makes me sick to my stomach to think about it. I love seeing a pregnant women. Their glow, their belly... But imagining myself pregnant makes me physically and mentally sick. I have an idea as to why even though I'm not 100% sure (and no, it has nothing to do with my childhood, before anyone assumes things lol)
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